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Chima Onyewuchi: Hello From the Other Side or Not

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Hello, I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet. To go over everything… They say time is supposed to heal you, but I ain’t done much healing…

Since everyone is going on about the superb, great, fantastic song by Adele, and covering it – with both amazing and not so amazing renditions.

I decided to do my own “cover” in the only way I know how… by writing-since my amazing voice will not allow me join the trend.

Although she claimed the song is not as literal as most of us think, I would still like to look at it literally – she is trying to reconnect with an ex. Is this right or wrong? Especially when you have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Should you be trying to say hello to an ex when you should be “facing your work”. Even if you are single, shouldn’t you be trying to move on, discover yourself and find out what you did wrong and ensure that you do not make same mistakes again?

A couple of people have gone from saying hello to an ex to getting back with the ex. I have heard stories of how people went back to their exes even while dating other people. Even if you want closure, you can do that without getting back with the person. I once heard a story about how this girl who split up with the guy she was dating. Fast forward to about a year later, she met someone who ticked all her boxes, was successful, made her laugh, etc. Now after dating this new guy for about a year, her ex comes back and she dumped new guy for him. I can’t imagine how new guy felt when that happened. I am sure everything started from “hello from the other side” type conversations.

Trust me I know it is hard to just forget about someone you shared a lot of fond memories with; but, you broke up for a reason. Pick yourself up and walk away and do not look back.

It sounds like I am only talking from the perspective of the person whose heart was broken, but even for the heart breaker same thing applies. You had a good boyfriend or girlfriend and you treated the person like crap and let him or her go. Now you are remembering how caring he or she was, how much he or she made you laugh and then you keep hearing “hello from the other side” every time you turn on your radio. My sister/brother keep your feelings in your pocket; do press up and go and take ice cold water for the pain. You can do better by deciding to treat your next partner with more regard. Be patient and ensure you try to make things work, and if you are already dating, focus on him or her squarely.

I am of the opinion that when two people go their separate ways, it should remain that way. I am not saying start a cold war but just keep it cordial.

Do not go calling or texting to say hello from any other side and wishing you called a thousand times. I know how painful this might be, most especially when you hear all those touching break up songs. Fight it!

I am no relationship expert but I just think everything happens for a reason. It ended with that person so you could find a better person. Unless you were dating an angel, I do not think that is impossible. Do me a favour, take a second to think about how the world would be if we all decided to start going back to our exes. Yes, chaos.

So let’s all take a deep breath and decide that we will enjoy the song for what it is, an amazing work from a talented artist and leave it at that. Keep your hellos to new people or your current partners and while you are it, spoil that person by doing some shopping for him or her – Yakata is around the corner so it should not cost a fortune.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Jason Stitt

Chima studied Demography & Social Statistics at Obafemi Awolowo University and currently works as business analyst in a leading online marketplace. He loves music and is a part-time DJ. You can find him on Instagram @chiwuzy and twitter @_wuzy_

39 Comments

  1. edith

    November 24, 2015 at 7:05 pm

    Lol @yakata is around the corner……

  2. hoover

    November 24, 2015 at 7:11 pm

    Super Story. Wale Adenuga would be proud. We are nothing but pencils in the hand of the Creator. Next Please.

  3. Petals

    November 24, 2015 at 7:13 pm

    Well kinda been thru this, dated a guy like 5yrs ago, but we are still friends, not close just talk once in a while. I keep regretting I shld maybe have taken him serious and married him. I never come out and tell him bcos he’s actually married with a kid now. He brought up the topic of how come we never worked out, I just tell him, it doesn’t matter, he’s married now, so we shld just let it rest. I know he loves his wife and I wld Neva get in between cos I actually know her. So when he calls or bbs and brings up d topic, I end it immediately. But I know deep inside me, if we didn’t break up which came from me, we wld be married by now. But I was young and stupid back den, I was interested in someone else who turned out to be bad for me. He was Moslem, a bit of a wild child, but I know he loved me and probably still does. So i will never ever even tell him I still have feelings and regret my decision. No point even thinking about what ifs and what nots.

    • Nkechi

      November 24, 2015 at 8:25 pm

      Moving on is the way out since he has a family already. Pray that God will do something in your life that will make your past nothing. There are some miracles that make a person’s history nothing. Eg A woman who gives birth to triplets after 6yrs of marriage. That’s what I am talking about, another case, is where a girl who made pass in law school got admission into Harvard. It’s what I call your latter surpassing your former. Despite issues of the past, if a person does not spoil another’s joy but trust God, He will come through.

    • Jay

      November 25, 2015 at 1:16 am

      Nkechi you made so much sense. God bless you.

    • Nkechi

      November 25, 2015 at 4:44 am

      To God be the glory. Thank you @Jay.The Harvard story happened to the friend of a friend. The girl called my friend and told her that God had delivered her from shame. She did well in her undergrad but somehow law school was different. Her case can be likened to circumstances of life where everything was going well with you, your health, work, family relationship etc and all of a sudden, something disastrous or embarrassing happens. Only God can show you the next step. This is because if you take a drastic step on your own, you may actually take a step backwards thinking you took it forward initially.

    • Tosin

      November 25, 2015 at 6:46 pm

      You are such a poet. Adorable.

      lifelib.blogspot.com/p/yalla-chapter-one-exotic.html

  4. Sayo

    November 24, 2015 at 7:32 pm

    This is totally hilarious but makes sense. Imagine a guy breaking things off with a girl then fast forward to several months later, after a series of bad relationships and heartbreaks, he had a ‘revelation’ that the girl is the best thing that has ever happened to him. Do not go back and disrupt the life that the lady has put together without you all in the name of making yourself happy especially when you’ve not dealt with whatever made the break up happen in the first place. With that same strength that made you walk away, use it to stay away.

    • Petals

      November 24, 2015 at 11:15 pm

      Can ppl just chill. I have absolutely no intention of disrupting someones family. Not every relationship is going to work out. Not everyone will end in marriage. Smtimes we might idolize what could have been, when in actual sense it wasn’t meant to be. Difference in religion was a major factor . I have moved on and dated someone after that. We both remain friends and know we would never cross that line of friendship. Thank you

  5. lyl

    November 24, 2015 at 7:34 pm

    Word! More like Okafor’s thoery: once nacked,stands nacked and can be renacked! Sometimes for closure. But me thinks the Hello song has been overstretched by Naija peeps.

  6. jide

    November 24, 2015 at 7:39 pm

    Me I can’t wait to hear the baby mamas that will evolve as a consequence of this hello from the other side drama sha. Me I’m too pompous to say hello to any ex jare

  7. don draper's dream girl

    November 24, 2015 at 7:55 pm

    With the way,”Yakata’ keeps popping up in articles,I think konga is quietly marketing.I might be wrong,it cud just be a buzz.My marketing instincts at work.

  8. billionaire in grace

    November 24, 2015 at 8:37 pm

    This write up is true

  9. The Introverted writer

    November 24, 2015 at 9:53 pm

    Hello BN, I wanted to inquire on how i could get my stories up on your blog?

  10. Nonye

    November 24, 2015 at 9:56 pm

    I’m more interested in the last paragraph. I’d just take a deep breath, enjoy the song for what it is and expect to be spoiled by the ‘current person’ who will shop for me during Yakata. It shouldn’t cost a fortune right? I’m sure he will read this..Hello…can you hear me?

  11. Mijin Goro

    November 24, 2015 at 10:03 pm

    Ahha! Adele shoved the female acts that went up to hug her after last weekend’s episode of the x-factor ! Sorry can’t be more specific, I was told at work by my work colleagues (water cooler gist)I told all y’all she is a despicable human being!

  12. Hadi

    November 24, 2015 at 10:23 pm

    Relationships that have ended are not as black and white. I disagree with this article. If years down the line, exes meet again and realise they are the love of each other’s lives and as long as they are willing to talk about why their relationship didn’t work the first time round, and what they should have done differently, it’s fine if they get back together.

    • G!

      November 25, 2015 at 10:07 am

      I agree @ Hadi. Not every relationship ends because people were treated crappily. Sometimes it could be someone moving away, or exuberance or just emotional immaturity. Even if someone was treated badly, it is very possible that people can truly ‘repent’ and change in which case a reunion may be welcome.

      I however agree with the author who suggests that people focus on current relationships and not keep looking back. I believe that no one is successfully able to juggle emotional relationships with several people at once. If a relationship is not working, end it on its own demerits and not because some ex showed up and unearthed feelings we had buried.

  13. Temi

    November 24, 2015 at 10:25 pm

    Passes by. Hums *to tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart*

  14. Timmy Tim

    November 24, 2015 at 11:25 pm

    saying hello from the other side is actually not a pleasant thing. Please, if he s moved on let him/her be! which kind hello be that, abeg let no dumb Ex start thinking of hello(ng) me from hell.. lol

  15. zara

    November 24, 2015 at 11:27 pm

    I quite agree with d writer. Hello from d other side ends in tears most times. Had an ex I thot I wld neva live without. Ex got married n kept calling to say he misses me. I musta bn drugged cos I agreed. Somehow we started somethn illicit n he still dumped me after anoda 2 yrs. Finally I met. Someone who loved me enuf to marry me. Evil Ex shows up with another Hello story on Whatsapp. I tried to be polite until he said ” I miss you sha”. Then I told him to go to hell cos I love n respect my. Hubby

  16. poison ivy

    November 24, 2015 at 11:36 pm

    In conclusion, stay away from old flames or you’ll burn.
    Been there, done that and it could happen again.
    #straightface, Dont judge me hehehheh.

  17. zirah baby loke loke

    November 24, 2015 at 11:36 pm

    I decided to do my own “cover” in the only way I know how… by writing-since my amazing voice will not allow me join the trend.
    Lol me too.

  18. Oversabi

    November 25, 2015 at 12:43 am

    Then you have never been in love with someone other than you

  19. ElessarisEllendil

    November 25, 2015 at 12:47 am

    ’25’ is a meh album, Hello was the only standout and it doesn’t even rank among Adele’s top three. The dangers of hype and the power of an awesome single.

    Come on we all know 99.1% of hellos from the other side end in heart break, when the guy goes back to the main chick.

    • Chynwa

      November 25, 2015 at 10:41 am

      I beg to differ… 25 is not a meh album; yes it doesn’t have all the sadness of 21 but look beyond that and see the art she brought with this one too. Having listened to all the songs, Hello is even my least loved songs. to each his own sha

  20. Oversabi

    November 25, 2015 at 12:48 am

    I loved my ex. He dumped me. But he could not find my replacement. I had moved on after much crying. He gave me a hello call years later. He hated his spouse. He called to apologize. He regretted leaving me. He said it was the worst decision of his life. he did it because he believed he needed a northern Muslim bride and I did not fit the picture. Don’t love my hubby like I did my hello ex. But I am happy I don’t. I can face my husband without much hesitation when a spade needs to be called a spade. Was too in love to call my ex out.

    • Nnenna

      November 25, 2015 at 4:34 am

      You need to be balance practicality with emotionalism. If you had married your ex, you may even be divorced. Don’t joke with religious, Northern bride issues. You either comply or leave. You must fit into his imagination and that of his family. A lot of people get the wrong impression of the other side because they just don’t know what could have happened. What if God just saved you from a major disaster, you wouldn’t know because you never experienced it.

  21. Honey

    November 25, 2015 at 6:20 am

    Well I’m an advocate of a clean break. Break up and move on. Don’t keep crying over spilt milk.
    But when God says two people are meant for each other nothing can stop it.
    A friend of mine got married on Saturday to her boyfriend that used to be her ex. They dated for yrs and broke up for reasons best known to them. Dated other people and all. They met again last yr at a programme and realised they still love each other so much and couldn’t tell exactly what led to their breakup. Luckily they were not in any serious relationship and they started afresh. They looked like they were dating for the first time.
    On their wedding day last Saturday I was really happy for my friend cos I could see how joyful and beautiful she looked. Her hubby was no different. Looking so handsome. You could see they were in love.
    When God says yes no one can say no.

  22. jane(the real jane)

    November 25, 2015 at 8:31 am

    Whn is d ‘hello’ saga gna die down. Ah ah. Nxt we wld soon see a book cover of ‘My Hello Experience. Or Saying Hello from the other side. Give it a rest my pippo

  23. Blackbeauty

    November 25, 2015 at 9:47 am

    I don’t believe in any blaady hello from the other side either. This guy treated me like CRAP! I took it, made excuses for him, then he just leaves me hanging, saying he needs space. So poor me, I’m left confused, can’t move on, waiting for him. Didn’t even have the balls to break up with me. I finally, thank God took the bull by the horns and broke up with his sorry ass. Then a year later, calls me up, wanting to meet, talk, chat be friends. Mtscheew! told him to take his sorry self miles away. I actually don’t think one should be friends with their ex’es, be polite when you happen to meet, but don’t go seeking them out. It’s too easy to get back into a familiar place. Guard your heart diligently.

  24. ij

    November 25, 2015 at 10:18 am

    honestly nothing is sweeter than a hello call when you have moved on and moved on in a big way
    Hello ni hello ko

  25. Ever Green

    November 25, 2015 at 10:28 am

    I agree with you if both are single and ready to work on their past mistakes I dont see why they cant work it out., for instance, my boyfriend and I decided to to try again and we both believe in second chance and we have no regrets, we are older, more mature now and we are getting there.

  26. CYNOSURE

    November 25, 2015 at 11:37 am

    Hello ke? if I catch myself Mtcheww!!!

  27. EIO

    November 25, 2015 at 12:13 pm

    So what happens to the people they are currently dating or are married to as the case may be??? My dear, getting back with an ex is like going back to your vomit!!! :p

  28. Tosin

    November 25, 2015 at 6:41 pm

    that’s ridiculous.
    hopefully the writer is UNDER 25?
    you’re saying don’t talk to your ex? shuoe, my exes are my friends. i was with them because i like them. they’re often really really really really cool people. when i die, i want the society of exes to cast a ballot to choose the six or eight to carry my coffin. hopefully they’ll be very old then 🙂

    Yeah, Liz Taylor inspires me. Kimora Lee. Women with an army of exes 😀

  29. Omoniyi

    November 30, 2015 at 3:07 pm

    I support you in totality even wrote about it a while ago here omo-ade.blogspot.com.ng/2015/11/the-ex.html. Nice writing.

  30. Nina

    November 30, 2015 at 5:34 pm

    Well it depends sha. He was proud, I was proud, but the truth was, we were still in love with each other…..the “hello” started from him, we swallowed our pride and sorted out our issues. Fast forward we are happily married with a Son and another on the way 🙂

  31. melinda

    December 2, 2015 at 3:29 pm

    lol @ keep ur feelings in ur pocket… its quite thru sha…… i have an ex whom we broke up like 3yrs ago coming to me and asking me to wife him and that he doesnt mind sending his baby mama away… oh boy!!!! i told him he is now a dead and gone history to me. my Life is sweeter with the guy i am dating now….

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