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Nkem Ndem: 8 Types of Men You Will Definitely Meet in Lagos



Nkem NdemA few nights ago at Bay lounge, I sat with my girls, Ure, Ulo and Ij who had just come in from the US to Nigeria for the holiday. There was also Toyin and Nonye who are full-time Lagos residents like me; and as you would guess (seeing as we were all single, independent women *bite me*), we started on the topic of men… and before long, we zeroed in on the unique men of Lagos. By the time we had dished on our experiences, Ulo could only exclaim: “It’s almost epidemic how many unsuitable characters are roaming this city”, and she is totally right.

It is amazing to me that in a city where men and women interact all the time — and seem to be having the time of their lives — some guys are still so fundamentally wrong. Some men are no longer just frogs waiting for a kiss to turn into a prince, they have mutated to eternal toads that won’t turn into princes or even common men no matter how many princesses kiss them.

Who is tired of kissing these “toads”, abeg? Find below seven archetypal types of guys that women in Lagos need to stay away from so that they do not waste their time. I have compiled this list from the conversations my friends and I had regarding the behaviors women dislike in the men here in Lagos. But don’t worry if you recognize some of the following traits in yourself – most of them aren’t deal-breakers…or are they?

Bode, the rich son
There are so many versions of Bode in Lagos. Bode is usually from a wealthy home, he is not necessarily intelligent, but he is well-educated (B.Sc and M.Sc in UK or America), and well-travelled. The thing about Bode’s background is that it either makes him very lazy or very proud.

Proud Bode is the overbearing narcissist who thinks very highly of himself. He believes he is God’s gift to you and is doing you a favor just by looking at you, even if you are his class. He is condescending and scornful, he will not let you forget that his shoes are original Salvatore Ferragamo or that his Mercedes was bought from the showroom; and when he gets you a gift, he will never let you forget how expensive it is.

When you get in a relationship with him, you find Bode is a compulsive liar and cheater. He is possessive, ultra jealous, almost always wants to get intimate way too soon.

Lazy Bode, on the other hand, lives in a rented apartment on Banana Island or Ikoyi but never invests his money on land or stocks. He does not seem to have any sort of idea of what he wants to do with his life, and so he just feeds off his parents with pride. He really is not worth anything, but dude is always decorating his persona. He drops names in between conversations so that you can know how important he is or how connected he is. And have you also noticed that Bode generally likes to gossip as well? Please, avoid Bode at all cost.

Jide, the Dutch Master
You will almost always hear Jide referring to girls in general as materialistic and gold diggers, simply because he cannot wrap his mind around the fact that as a man, he should give his woman gifts. He will invite a girl to lunch and then subtly suggest they go Dutch. In fact, he makes her feel like they are on a tight budget from the very first date. He never splurges to buy his girl anything that would cost him much. Treats are non-existent; gifts, grudgingly given, are of low-value and with little thought given to them.
Even at the honeymoon stage, he would fly the girl on holiday in that budget airline. On several dates, he would mention that he left his wallet and will never pay back after she takes the cheque. It is not like Jide is stingy, he just does not understand why he should share or gift the substance of his toil to anyone else. This kind of guy finds it hard to propose to any girl; he can be 45 and still be contemplating. Do you really want to wait that long to find out?

Nonso, the hustling hustler
Nonso is the struggling music artiste or retired Yahoo-Yahoo guy who is too lazy to get a job because he is hoping that he will soon “blow”. He claims to have a side hustle and is jack of all trades. He has no realistic vision – he has all kinds of dreams but no plans to achieve them; his sole aim in life is to make money no matter what it takes. He takes advantage of all a girl has to offer, including her body and heart. Worst part is, Nonso has an excuse for everything. He blames his ‘ill fortune’ on a poor upbringing, uncaring parents, family curse or even the government. Funny thing about Nonso is that he can be generous when he has made the money; but enjoy that money with him and he believes that you are indebted to him for life. His one true love is money, why compete with that?

Toye, the hooked but “unhappy”
Toye is the most upsetting of all these men. He is a silver-tongued demagogue who lies about everything. He leads you to believe that he is trapped in a loveless marriage or relationship, that you are his saving grace and he is going to eventually leave his girlfriend, fiancée, wife or sometimes, even children for you. Unfortunately, half of what Toye is telling you is a lie. He is obviously unable to stay faithful to the woman he made a commitment to, and is manipulating his situation so that you feel sorry for him and fall for all of his lies. And let’s not even talk about the diseases you are likely to get from him because most times, you are not the only one. When he is finally done with you, he will tell you how his wife has learned of your relationship and disappear, leaving you with Herpes. What is it with the allure of the taken man, really? No matter how handsome or alluring, Toye must be avoided.

Ochuko, the Leeching Lover
It is so hard to resist Ochuko because he is almost always handsome, smooth with words, attentive and good in the sack. He first seems like a super nice guy who is going through some tough times, but in truth, he is a parasite, waiting for you to work and feed him. He has no job and no plans on ever getting one. He never has anything to offer but always wants to receive from you. What is worse is that he’s got champagne taste on a beer budget and knows how to manipulate his way into your wallet to support the lavish lifestyle he desperately wants. He is the dude you see driving his girlfriend’s car to work, living in and having parties in his girlfriend’s apartment, and even paying tithe on behalf of his girlfriend’s monthly cheque. Good thing is, it is easy to spot Ochuko though. Very often, he is the one that tells you he loves you way too early with hope that you are desperate enough to believe him, he gives you the impression he wants to settle down and you are his choice, e.t.c. Ladies, please, never allow Ochuko in your life because when you go broke, he will leave you and start looking for other prospective ATMs.

Oche, the church brother
It is painful that the good sisters are the ones who always fall prey to Oche. Oche seems nearly perfect: he does not just go to church, he has a relationship with God, and he is active in a service unit – possibly an usher or instrumentalist. He has a good job, seems responsible and is level-headed. He is, however, also self-righteous and too secretive. He “does not” drink or smoke, and does not hesitate to tell others to follow suit. He will tell a girl that God revealed her as the one for him , and from the very first date, he will preach to her, asking her to quit alcohol, stop wearing certain hairdos , cosmetics , clothes e.t.c as they are unholy, but he will be the first to kiss her on the date, “skiz” her mammary gland and whip out his “uhlala” when he takes her back to the apartment. He is a wolf in sheep clothing. It is hard to trust him because he seems to always have a hidden agenda. He is unpredictable and almost always turns out to be someone else in the long run. Run!

Kola, the Misogynist
As far as I know, Kola is an uncultured ‘razzite’. He is not only a chauvinist, he has a lot of insecurities; he is incredibly shallow, bitter and abusive. You should be able to spot Kola from the start. He makes no secret of his cynicism toward women as he insists on making rude and insulting comments about women every single chance he gets, refusing to be courteous when situation call for him to be. When out with his girlfriend, he does not try to hide the fact that he is checking out other women while in her presence; he flirts with the waitress and he even goes as far as to bragging about his past conquests. Overall, he lacks respect for women. Kola does not hesitate to slap his girlfriend for airing an opinion or beating her up the minute he feels a fresh burst of testosterone. He is somehow still stuck in the Stone Age when men were filled with the erroneous notion that they were superior to women and could treat them anyhow. Sure, there are possible reasons why he might have turned out the way he is, but that should not be your problem, just stay away.

Nnamdi, The ‘Mumu’ lover
Now, I have never actually met this guy (I have only heard of him), but apparently, he is “the nice guy”. Nnamdi picks the girl up for a date and takes her at home afterwards; he is attentive and calls all the time; never argues, always agrees to every word that falls from his girls lips; compliments her all the time; and surprises her with gifts and little acts of kindness. He is emotional, expressive, generous, romantic, forgiving, and most times patient…everything a woman wants, isn’t it? Unfortunately, most women in Lagos are independent strong women and these qualities might be nice, but they are no longer enough. You see, Nnamdi also nags doubts himself and needs constant reassurance about his relationships, meanwhile, confidence and independence are very sexy traits in a man which most women in Lagos who are looking for a strong partner they can lean on, look out for. Truth be told, as a woman, you would never be able to respect a man who has a low self-esteem. So, better to say goodbye now, while it is still good, and save yourself from impending drama.

Aside from the eight listed above, other types of men you may have come across include Dami (the Momma’s boy), Ifeanyi (the Mr. I Am Always Broke), and Afolabi (the “My ex is my best friend” man e.t.c. Does your ‘guy’ fall under any of these categories? have you had an experience with any of these guys, or maybe you have another to add to the list?

Please share your story or add a comment in the box below, you never know whose time you could save.

Nkem Ndem is an energetic and highly accomplished Media Consultant who loves to help small businesses, especially women-led, grow their online presence using the right digital strategy or transition from traditional organizational boundaries. With years of experience in Copywriting and Editing, Content Branding and Strategy, Social media, and Digital Marketing, she is clearly obsessed with Digital Communications. She is the Head of Content and Lead Consultant at Black Ink Media - an Ideation and Content Agency that excels in providing fresh, creative digital services to content-centric businesses. Find out more about her at or send her an e-mail at [email protected] Also follow her on IG: @nkemndemv, Twitter: @ndemv.


  1. bruno

    January 5, 2016 at 2:21 pm

    the best thing dont date men in lagos at all instead go to ogun state or ibadan or shagamu and date the men there. mumu
    this is 2016 can u stop with the men bashing articles. we get it, u hate nigerian men. u are angry u have a vagina, we get it. Now can u stop with the pointless articles. why can’t u write about how to get a degree or own a business or something. ur life’s goal is to land a husband abi?

    the woman who wrote this article is a B!tch. (bellanaija dont try to censor my comment, I said what I said and i meant it)

    • Alice

      January 5, 2016 at 2:55 pm

      Stop swearing
      Calm down and breath

    • Chuks

      January 5, 2016 at 3:06 pm

      @Bruno but why now. The girl is only describing what they observed. I trust the fact that you are not any of them. Thank you.

    • nwa nna

      January 5, 2016 at 4:15 pm

      @bruno, chill out mate… I am a guy and actually found humor reading her observations…. We’re all entitled to our opinions and we can differ in opinions without getting our breeches all wound up, that is if you wear breeches.. 😛

    • The 'bitch's friend

      January 5, 2016 at 5:06 pm

      Eiya Bruno, I can see u are a mixture of Kola the misogynist and Nonso, the hustling hustler! Daz why e dey chook hahahahaha

    • udolisa

      January 5, 2016 at 5:38 pm

      why vexing? take a chill pills

    • Caligula

      January 5, 2016 at 5:53 pm

      ??? this is so funny! All the names are perfect too!

    • jules

      January 5, 2016 at 6:03 pm

      wa gba!!!

    • teegal

      January 5, 2016 at 6:35 pm

      One. Man’s meat they say is another man’s poison! The insult was totally uncalled for! Why did u bother to read the article, afterall the title showed what the content will look like! @ Bruno u are so wrong!!!!!!!!! N I wish u will take”chill pill” next time! You sounded like you are KOLA!

    • Ba

      January 6, 2016 at 12:03 am

      I could feel your emotional comment. You must have fall into a category.
      Besides, the style of writing is funny and as well, is a lucid.

    • kk

      January 6, 2016 at 8:48 am

      Hahahaha… chai Bruno, hugging transformer things.

    • jamkpo

      January 7, 2016 at 11:46 am

      The article is not well written. I agree with bruno. Its all negative about Nigerian men. What is your intended purpose of this article, to scare women away from lagos men?? The truth is people have dynamic personalities. Bisi is compatible with jide because she is independent and entrepreneurial, Bisi a strong woman, a mother, not only understands Jides shortcomings but makes up for it Bisi Jide and strengthens Jide.

      While they are bad guys out there, unfortunately they are a lot of stupid fantasist women out there, who grew up on disney films who fail to explore the depth of their mind before they delve into relationships.

    • Laura.

      January 8, 2016 at 1:46 am

      Bruno!!!!This new year?!!!!!Never read a comment so ignorant and stupid.May God help you find joy, Anu!!!!

    • Amaka

      January 25, 2016 at 3:47 pm

      Bros why you dey vex…? Which one of them are you?

  2. Babym

    January 5, 2016 at 2:23 pm

    Hehehe very funny accurate list, but what of the good level headed, focused, delicious normal guys though??? They exist o, i think their vocies are so drowned by all these clowns u have described lol. I think we should make a case for them too. I root for them.

  3. bisisexy

    January 5, 2016 at 2:25 pm

    All I have to say is I concour,every babe is a manager,managing one mad guy

    • ATL's finest

      January 5, 2016 at 2:46 pm

      @ Bisisexy *GBAM* Prayers up for U & major likes..

    • Chidinma

      January 5, 2016 at 7:11 pm


  4. Tolu

    January 5, 2016 at 2:50 pm

    wondering where I truly fall among these wonderful types of dudes you just mentioned

  5. Uber bella

    January 5, 2016 at 2:51 pm

    The struggle to find Mr right in lagos is so real!

  6. Alice

    January 5, 2016 at 2:52 pm

    Very well written Nkem!!
    I can relate to every single one of the above and give real life names to match….lol. You said it all. There are however still some good ones and my husband is one?.

  7. cocolove

    January 5, 2016 at 3:04 pm

    Hahahhahaaa, Omg! I have met most of these men, especially brother Oche!!!
    LMAO!!!! the memories!!!!

    • Babe

      January 6, 2016 at 6:34 pm

      Bro oche …..chorister, tithe payer , asking for nude pictures, pervert, engaging in phone sex! Asking if ud be on your period when next u come visiting, mounts the altar of GOd every Sunday to lead praise and worship. God have mercy on bro oche Ken.

  8. laide

    January 5, 2016 at 3:08 pm

    @Bruno, you dey vex sha….however, most of what Nkem wrote in her article is true.
    Firstly, you should ask yourself why you are so pissed (reads like you’re upset she wrote this article)?
    Secondly, I have met 2 or so of the type of men she outlined here and I know some friends who have had experiences with other types as well. Unfortunately, the good ones are very few. In my own case, I had to kiss a few frogs before I discovered my prince or should I say he discovered me? Lol. My point is whether you like it or not, these guys DO exist (it’s not that we are bashing men, we are just stating facts as we see them).
    Lastly, not every article on BN can be about business or whatever (you need that, then read the articles under BN’s career section).
    Toh, I rest my case.

  9. Joseph Mba

    January 5, 2016 at 3:11 pm

    Some Men dough

  10. Bae

    January 5, 2016 at 3:12 pm

    Bruno pele. It’s not that deep.

  11. Nuna

    January 5, 2016 at 3:19 pm

    I will add a last one. The all round good guy. Very wholesome. Has his priorities straight, not that he hasn’t made mistakes in the past, or was low key a man whore in his uni days (lol), but currently he’s tired of the lying and cheating and just wants no BS especially with his lady love. He lays all his cards on the table, tells you upfront he doesn’t want any games and he sees himself married in about two years from when you guys meet. He isn’t a momma’s boy, but treats his mom with utmost respect so you know he treats women like queens. He is very family oriented and would give the shirt off his back to a friend in need.
    Yes! Guys like this exist in Lagos. I should know because I’m married to one.
    Please there are still very decent guys in Lagos. All you have to do is go with God and look.

  12. nwanyi na aga aga

    January 5, 2016 at 3:33 pm

    The thing about this article is that as much as it is true, Lagos girls are their own undoing. They love flashy things. One thing the poster didn’t mention is that all these guys come packaged and flashy, beard ganged, with a slur to every sentence hinting a few months or weeks or even days stay somewhere abroad. If you ask a Lagos boy to describe Lagos girls, he will present a female version of what the poster had out lined, Simple truth, there is a lot fakery and lies being practiced till normalcy in Lagos. Hence terrible people abound. In this same Lagos a lot of honest down to earth guys abound but how can babes see him when he is driving Camry “thin-light” or “big for nothing” or wearing aboki wristwatch or smelling like aboki perfume? Loooool! I have warned all my friends, there is how fine, smooth and well packaged a man will look, just know that he is married or in a serious relationship.

    • Dolly

      January 5, 2016 at 5:56 pm

      Girl you better preach, these Lagos girls be looking for wealth, handsome man, macho man, nice man, big *you know*, good job etc Like no how about y’all stop being unrealistic and choose a struggle.

    • Miss Ndi

      January 5, 2016 at 5:59 pm

      Truer words have never been spoken!

  13. Martha Ako

    January 5, 2016 at 3:48 pm

    The overly righteous. The pretentious and lazy ones. The ones who can’t stand by their words. Those who are still holding on to mummy’s apron. The mr. Always borrowing from his woman. He will NEVER pay back!!!. Abeg fly when you smell any of them.

  14. Desire

    January 5, 2016 at 3:50 pm

    Hnnnmmmmm, Nkem. I enjoyed your article. Keep it up. I am proud to be part of the few good ones you didn’t write about. Obviously, there are different kind of men… wink!!(Bruno). Lol

  15. Chu

    January 5, 2016 at 3:51 pm

    Whaaaat! I sported my name there. hmmmm. Anyway I get your point, but the ‘fakery’ is both ways.

  16. Sir_Kelvin

    January 5, 2016 at 3:57 pm

    Hmmmm. Now I’m seriously thinking. I believe it’s possible to fall under more than one of these class of men as it is also possible to fall under none. Waiting to hear about the others in your next article. Well done.

  17. whocares

    January 5, 2016 at 3:57 pm

    @ Nwanyi- I agree with your last sentence.. smooth, well packaged is most likely relationship. let me finish before you all descend. there is a confidence that comes from being in a relationship, even in women it is apparent. women are more flirty even though they know they will not do anything and then hide behind the “i have a man”. guys are the same too.. In my experience, the “good ones” the type that fit the bill for most people do not usually have game. They are not awkward etc, but they are not smooth at all. lool. they are intelligent and can get you in a convo with simple sentence but in that beginning it will not be with the same get your panties wet experience as a dog or a guy in a relationship.. your thought will usually be “he is so sweet” as opposed to “do me big guy, do ME” or whatever it is you chant in your sexual fantasies.. the dude in a relationship knows one way or the other your rejection does not matter to him cos he has a girl, and the dog, well he has experience on his side. lol. So my advise, give the less than obvious ones a chance.
    @Nuna- warn yourself o- you are married to one? I bin dey think say na yourself you dey describe now. I tightened the strap on my koste bra, wadded some tissues in to give the girls some allure and was sashaying over to conduct my usual interview for potential baes…. only to find out you are married to one – all is not lost sha- does he have a single twin? . loool

    • sisi alero

      January 5, 2016 at 4:53 pm

      @whocares- i find that i’m beginning to look for your quirky, off the wall, funny as heck comments in the comments section! NA WA FOR YOU O! LOL! Your fertile imagination and colorful words have me in stitches!

    • Nuna

      January 5, 2016 at 5:11 pm

      Hahahaha I’m so sorry. ???

    • Koffie

      January 5, 2016 at 9:17 pm

      Lol, you’re crazy and I always skim through the comments till I get to yours and CarliforniaBawler’s own. In my head, you’re Wura and CarliforniaBawler is Bola and we’re a close knit circle of friends with me as the quiet one. Haha

    • Krasavitsa

      January 6, 2016 at 1:14 am

      @ whocares, babe take ur time oh, I can’t be letting my neighbors think I’m a lunatic. This comment had me laffing too loudly.

  18. Skinnybrownie

    January 5, 2016 at 4:00 pm

    Ladies please beware of Oche the church guy.. Them full everywhere now.
    Wolfs in sheep clothing looking for fresh fish in church ?

  19. Miss Anoni Moss

    January 5, 2016 at 4:02 pm

    Idkw but every time I read Bruno’s comments all I see in my head is Derenle typing furiously on his PC……. *sorry Derenle* help me Jesus

  20. ifunaya

    January 5, 2016 at 4:02 pm

    Lool, who then should we date? Chimpanzee? Monkey? cos I don’t think dere is still any good category. Mehn na to go village naa

  21. Mr charles

    January 5, 2016 at 4:15 pm

    Funny article. Be easy with the stereotype sha. I still don’t get why my girl tells me I’m special. I keep telling her I am an ordinary guy. I guess she knows alot.

  22. wendypearl

    January 5, 2016 at 4:23 pm

    men and their ways. is funny thou.

  23. wendypearl

    January 5, 2016 at 4:23 pm


  24. Truth hurts

    January 5, 2016 at 4:30 pm

    Hilarious article. Articles like this makes me wonder about the direction bellanaija is heading towards this 2016. Let’s get something very clear.
    Men are fake. Women are faker.
    From the very shallow
    Ladies nowadays want a ready made, island living Bibi who has “at least” his own ride, has his own apartment, has a well paying job from which he will spend on you, and must be willing to commit to a relationship which will end up in marriage.
    Articles like this make us Lagos women seem quite shallow and silly and I don’t for one agree with any of the stereotypes listed above. There are quite a lot of good men in Lagos who do not live on the island, work for a living and aren’t about that life…

  25. iyke

    January 5, 2016 at 4:36 pm

    oga writer that means there’s no good man abi. na you sabi oh. me , myself and i, is not among your list. maybe because i am not in lagos.

  26. D

    January 5, 2016 at 4:46 pm

    A close relative is still dancing shoki with No 2 kinda guy.I use to think he was stingy till I analyse am well and I realize no is not but he is just the No.2 and he can’t help it.she be wondering why he ain’t proposing for close to 3 years till I told her what dude is all about then she stylishly make sure we don’t discuss him cause is the man she like and she be waiting for him to change.wetin be my own .make nobody con dey give me story wey touch.emi omolomo tI Oju e ti da tipe………

  27. Ebonyb

    January 5, 2016 at 4:49 pm

    Hmmmm… Currently dealing with an Ifeanyi (the Mr. I Am Always Broke). He owes me and still claims he has no money plus he doesn’t give me attention. I deleted his details on my phone today, enough is enough. No more pressing my mumu button

    • Lol

      January 6, 2016 at 2:13 am

      Lol, I am sorry I am laughing. I dont know you but I couldn’t help myself. haha.

    • kk

      January 6, 2016 at 9:07 am

      This thing about ” ifeanyi still owing me” amuses me ooo…. girls be doing charity work.

  28. jingo

    January 5, 2016 at 4:53 pm

    I dated these men o, but not in Lagos, from Abuja to Owerri. These men are everywhere.
    I only got the correct guy in lagos.

  29. ToBeReal

    January 5, 2016 at 5:02 pm

    but 9ja london girls also say same about London dudes…can’t win!!

  30. Your own don finish

    January 5, 2016 at 5:11 pm

    Wo, this is 2016 o

    I don’t even have to read all your garbage. All thru these years, this is the same eish you tell yourself. No man, the ones available are frogs and toads…… OYO

    Everyone must definitely see the speck in the other person’s eye, except theirs.

    Have you ever thought about this? You may even be the wrong choice that is why the good men never approach you. Many girls from no background aiming for the guys with a solid background.

    “”Many of you would be non existent on men’s list if you were to be put on the same criteria of men you are looking for””

    As much as i am aware of this, virtually all venues in Abuja are booked down right from January to December for marriage reception. Meaning every saturday, people are getting married. Infact now, people marry monday thru friday (weekdays)

    You better go check yourself. You might be the one with the problem. You might not even be an option on the list of the good men who wanna marry.

    deal with it girl

    • bruno

      January 5, 2016 at 5:49 pm

      love ur comment.

      ” Many girls from no
      background aiming for the guys with a solid

      u have described 99 percent of nigerian women. they all want to marry otedola’s son and dangote’s son but who is ur own father?

      I also love the last paragraph of ur comment.u have said it all.

    • zibaintl

      January 6, 2016 at 10:36 am

      nice article….like to know d kind of women men shud a avoid.

  31. udyluv

    January 5, 2016 at 5:14 pm

    Beautiful write up. Although I hv come in contact with oche, toye, ochuko. I was able to spot them early and so I disappeared. There are good guys everywhere and I believe dat they are not far fetched. It’s ur attitude that determines if u will meet good men or not. I seriously pray I don’t meet all these men anymore Becos dey are energy drillers and wen dey are done, dey leave u empty. May God help us all, Amen. For d ladies, my advice is dat we do not fall into d category of loving golds, flashy things whereby u can groom a bronze to be ur gold someday. As d saying ” not all dat glitters are gold” when a man discovers u are in for digging gold, he will mess u up and u will complain of d categories of men dat are bad forgetting we are d primary cause of it. In all things, let us be patient and learn to pray. I believe wen it’s time, the right one will come knocking but it depends on ur attitude dat time.

    • Juste Moi

      January 8, 2016 at 2:01 pm

      I loved this part “u can groom a bronze to be ur gold someday”, After dating a mixture of some of the above characteristics. I did an evaluation of all my failed relationships and gave myself the ultimate advice of dating someone with a different character trait.. I chose a a very shy nerd and dished the social fun loving type of guys am normally used to dating and yours truly got married to the most amazing guy on planet earth (My Mark Zuckerberg as I call him) who is focused,family oriented, and adores me so much, He is my gold today and am so happy for my choice. My advice to ladies on BN, Please stop looking for those smooth talking, cute looking, overly dressed and seemingly rich guys, they have nothing to offer. Go out of your usual dating circle and you will be amazed at the number of good guys out there.

  32. marves

    January 5, 2016 at 5:19 pm

    This is an intellectually lazy work even for a light-headed article.

  33. PRINCE

    January 5, 2016 at 5:20 pm

    Bruno sounds to me like the ‘CHURCH BROTHER’, if not why the paranoia (just kidding) everyone is entitle to their opinion. she’s just trying to be nice. Its 2016 and trust me some chics will still fall prey of this stuff.
    welldone jare. no mind Bruno

  34. Dolly

    January 5, 2016 at 5:54 pm

    Girl you better preach, these Lagos girls be looking for wealth, handsome man, macho man, nice man, big *you know*, good job etc Like no how about y’all stop being unrealistic and choose a struggle.

  35. j'suis belle

    January 5, 2016 at 6:08 pm

    Girl if u tried from bode to kola it means u really did kiss many frogs, u try sha !!!!

  36. teegal

    January 5, 2016 at 6:55 pm

    Sola” Handsome,decent, focused, passionate, Goal driven, Not too spiritual, not noisy and flashy, average way of dressing,Not a fashionista Decent upbringing, Rich but won’t Display it untill you earn his trust, falls completely inlove, ready for marriage, complete introvert, highly principled and prudent! Doesn’t lie, smoke, Drink, club, actually prefers family time and Reading. God took me from Ogun to Sokoto to b4 meeting this Lagos guy! Am lucky to have met dis one

  37. Dr David Namz

    January 5, 2016 at 7:07 pm

    Well this is a great write up but it’s not complete men also need to tell their side so it’s balanced so brothers can beware of the different lady characters out there.
    Nkem part 2 suppose dey ooo. Lol

    • Mr x

      January 5, 2016 at 8:40 pm

      I agree with u! We shud get to hear frm d men! I think we shud get a debate…”whatgirlswant vs whatguyswant”! Or ”bruno vs lagos girls” lol

  38. Sarah

    January 5, 2016 at 7:35 pm

    I met my husband when we were students and both of us have had to grow together career-wise, financially, spiritually, etc. Unfortunately, most women are looking for made men, but such men are usually snapped up before they became financially stable.

    • Junior

      January 5, 2016 at 11:18 pm

      Please tell them since you are a woman, maybe, just maybe it’ll get through to some of them.

      I see a lot these women walking around with a sense of entitlement. I’m beautiful, educated and therefore I deserve the very best. I see them as nothing but a lazy bunch, all looking for a life raft to carry them through.

      The author could not speak of any one good man. In her own words, they all should be avoided. So who is her type going to marry? It begs me. I tire for Nigerian women.

  39. Sunshine

    January 5, 2016 at 7:43 pm

    *carries shield* y do I feel like the writer saved the worst traits for Yoruba names? Tell us babe
    ; did they jump in and scatter ur life at some point? But no yawa. MeThinks d article should be read with an open mind so dat one can gain useful info for navigating the choppy waters of dating especially in lagos

  40. bn lover

    January 5, 2016 at 7:43 pm

    Shey we ve come again in 2016? Thought we left this in 2015… Let me go n read it ohhh

  41. Koffie

    January 5, 2016 at 9:12 pm

    I dated a Kola (misogynist) plus Bode (rich, cool kid) rolled into one. It was energy-draining and his views on women was always appalling, made worse by his Islamic background. He had my mumu-button but I eventually had the balls to walk out of the relationship.
    I’ve met a Toye before and despite all his I-am-the-victim-in-my-marriage tales, I always told him I felt like his wife was the victim to be stuck with an overgrown baby (early 40s oo) like him. Thank the Lord for dashing me sense as this type are very manipulative.
    I met another Bode recently and recognized the laziness and Daddy’s-got-me vibe from afar. You’re right, his type almost always want to bed you but seeing as you can’t make the same mistake twice, I friendzoned him sharparly. I remember doing the HelloChallenge on him and he was so happy thinking he was about to get lucky talking ’bout “yeah, we really need to talk…I’ll come by your place on Saturday since I’ll be in the hotel close to your house”. And I’m just like ahn ahn, somebody cannot play with you again ni. Lol
    I however honestly believe that there are good men in Lagos and they may not be perfectly bearded like the three jerks I described but they exist and may God open our eyes to discern properly.

  42. Anonymous

    January 5, 2016 at 9:13 pm

    Awwww! Extremely happy for you. May your Union last.

  43. Kenechukwu

    January 5, 2016 at 9:23 pm

    Another male-bashing thread concocted by overbearing women with a bloated sense of entitlement. Keep forming “single and independent”

    • Natu

      January 5, 2016 at 11:32 pm

      why are you so pressed by a woman’s independence?

  44. Felinda

    January 5, 2016 at 11:03 pm

    my question is why are women of nowadays always talking about “FINDING A MAN”, isnt it suppose tobe the other way round. When men hear this statement over and over and over again, thats how their head become big cos before you both meet , he already has this notiion you are DESPERATELY looking for him.. I am not saying hide in your room and he come find you, socialise and mingle and God will bring yall together somehow but please stop using that phrase “FINDING A MAN” it sounds very desperate.

    Maybe my definition of finding a man is different from yours but to me whenever i hear that phrase in my mind I am thinking – you go out with a premeditated notion of “SEEKING and/or FINDING A Man”

    The men have heard it so many times (i have 5 brothers so i know) thats why they dont know how to hunt anymore, matter of fact they dotn even know how to pick up the phone to ask for a date, they will text you. Its because of YOU, the women – yes YOU!!, YOU will be treated as you show people how you will be treated. Thats my motto. 🙂

  45. Ayo

    January 6, 2016 at 12:04 am

    I met my husband when he was still a student too, a PhD student with not a lot of money. I don’t know if it’s a factor. I’m sure he remembers it (this girl didn’t turn me down when she wasn’t sure where I would end up and whether I would even finish the degree and make something of it.) Women, please spare a moment for regular “Tunde”s sha. I know there are many good men out there, and they will want to date a good woman and treat her well. They just need to be given the chance.

  46. BellaGhana

    January 6, 2016 at 12:20 am

    Interesting read… We be Lagos boys… skekeroboske…roboskeskerobo… *in olamide’s voice*

  47. Wade

    January 6, 2016 at 12:54 am

    U forgot to add Uche the bisexual..His deeply involved with chiamaka about to marry her sef but his sleeping with Ebuka his bestman and lover(fine choir boy)…he believes that nobody will ever find out ,badoo feels he can pull this off even in marriage .Ebuka is the faithful friend that comforts Uche,when chiamaka travels for work appointments or goes home to visit her family.Lagos sincity

  48. Anonymous

    January 6, 2016 at 1:05 am

    what if you are married to one of dis characters up

  49. Wade

    January 6, 2016 at 1:10 am

    Dear write,

    Wake up and register for deliverance in Mfm….Don’t allow you case to become#leave trashforlawma, Ask the holy spirit for ur missing rib, all this jumping around won’t profit you anything in
    2016 seek first the kindgom and his righteousness.The lord will give you a Godfearing husband he might not look or dress like what used too but definitely this man will give yoU peace and allow you to age in grace.

  50. Krasavitsa

    January 6, 2016 at 1:29 am

    Is it too much to ask for the male version of me? Tall (180cm and above), good-looking, very smart, uber-ambitious, has a good job, parties like crazy, drinks occasionally, has a very strict rule against ALL forms of cheating, christian ( I honestly don’t care about the denomination, oh wait, I’m not sure how I feel about those lemon-green-apron-wearing people), no form of odour – mouth or otherwise, no bele, really good at *#$*#@#, and is a member of the beard-gang (this is REALLY important for the attraction to be instantaneous). *sigh* a girl can only wish……

    • huh

      January 6, 2016 at 6:07 am

      Are you saying you have beards?

    • Krasavitsa

      January 6, 2016 at 5:01 pm

      Lmaoooooo. Srzly? Ofcus not.

    • Huh

      January 6, 2016 at 7:40 pm

      Haha, I guessed as much. Was just playing around and it’s good you took it lightly. :).

  51. Rachel

    January 6, 2016 at 3:17 am

    She is not bashing this is almost comical… And pretty light hearted to be honest! And to be honest she did not say all Nigerian men fall under this category- simply a few she has come across or she feels ladies need to stay away from! This piece was not representation of ALL nigerian men!

    Perhaps you see a glimpse of yourself in one of the cariactures mentioned in her piece. In fact, the fact that you are open enough to refer to a woman you don’t know who has not offended you in anyway shows you are actually quite similar to one! Can u guess which one??


  52. ElessarisElendil

    January 6, 2016 at 3:58 am

    This is the part where I point out the stone age was actually quite egalitarian(hunters and gatherers are equal), it only stopped being so due to agriculture and men began to have all the power(you know because they made better fighters). ??I’m so sorry, but Historians can only maintain relevance by debunking myths like these, forgive me. Next article like this(there will many I’m sure) I’ll stick to saying; The Salt strong in this one it is.??

  53. ibkgeorge

    January 6, 2016 at 4:50 am

    Not only Lagos.Them plenty for USA too among the African Community.Luckily i don’t wait around that much before I “waka”.Time is too precious to waste on these categories of men.

  54. OJ

    January 6, 2016 at 5:18 am

    At least 9 types of women in Lagos..1: full of weaves, tatoos and bad attitudes, 2: Church girl, churchous at home, outside of home with some little liberty, she is a gbo shan gbo shan type of girl 3: miss independent, working and a making cool money, but not ready to spend on her guy, she expects the guy to foot all the bills 4: students runs girls with 4 boyfriends, every boyfriend serves a purpose 5: the ajebutter girl, pampered from childhood, depends on daddy for everything, expects guys to treat her like daddy does to her, flashy, expensive lifestyle courtesy of daddy 6: mama mi lekos, cougar mamas, married/divorced/unmarried, they dont care, looking for young dynamic blood to set her on fire and also to keep her company or just for regular flings to remind her she’s a woman 7: the down to earth girl across the street, decent, easy going, shy, hoping a guy would come her way some day, not necessarily a virgin and not necessarily a bad girl, just simple girl 8: the open eyes girl, ready to milk you dry anytime any day, 9: the girls that are always with bad boys but when they have been used and abused finish, they want to the ”nice responsible marriage material guy”…list is exhaustive, to be continued later…..oya let the bashing start now!!!!

    • kk

      January 6, 2016 at 9:27 am

      Oh…. you’ll be waiting for a lady to spend on you baa??? Port harcourt guys pattern. OK ooo,, OYO

  55. YIMU

    January 6, 2016 at 5:51 am


  56. nwanyi na aga aga

    January 6, 2016 at 8:54 am

    hahahhahahahha @ koste bra, whocares I am still recovering from your discussion with your aunt and her friend who died taking it* ( clears throat), and you have started again.loooool!

  57. My summary

    January 6, 2016 at 8:54 am

    -Social climbers looking for a rich man to use as a ladder to greatness
    -nonentities looking for some-entities to change their fortune
    -imperfect people looking for perfect men
    -jobless people looking for men working in the presidency
    -people with zero in their account looking for men with a fat wallet
    -short people looking for the tallest of men
    -make up enhanced people (with no natural beauty ) looking for the finest of men
    -low/middle class people looking for a high class man to change their status
    -people with a lot of “but” who fail to see theirs but looking for the men with no “but”

    Keep searching………

  58. Ijebu Boy

    January 6, 2016 at 8:59 am

    I was trying to see if i fit any one of those categories… happy to say i do not. i was a bit scared i might find myself there. lmao. i wonder what name she would have called me. lol

  59. Kola S

    January 6, 2016 at 9:27 am

    Chai! It’s not easy to be called Kola again. diarisgod

  60. Fortune Tall

    January 6, 2016 at 9:32 am

    Interesting article. I think most of these men have evolved from what we ought to be to what you discribe here and I think it’s because of experiences they’ve had with women over time.

  61. sarah

    January 6, 2016 at 9:40 am

    You are Kola (the chavunistic pig)

  62. Abigail-Zambia

    January 6, 2016 at 11:55 am

    From the on set i knew this would be so juicy wanted to read more and more so interesting and convincing, usually those who are defensive here have a problem or falling in one of the category !! Acceptance is the key you can help yourself by revising your characteristics….but i will not be foolish to ditch him yet but will be wise to observe him once more because reality and articles are too different things. Good job its so entertaining. Happy New Year by the way.

  63. Cookie

    January 6, 2016 at 11:58 am

    OJ, you are so write! My friends and I discuss about all the categories your made mention above. I’m proud to say I’m number 7. Still hoping and praying the right guy come through

  64. Bodunade

    January 6, 2016 at 1:07 pm

    Hello cookie, so you wanna be a Lyon? Lol. I’m single too and pretty decent.. Email me let’s get acquainted, if you don’t mind. [email protected]. Cheers

  65. Rani

    January 6, 2016 at 3:13 pm

    Welcome back attention-seeker Bruno! This is 2016, change for the better…. If e dey pain you like that go and write your own about women and send to BN, let them publish.

  66. Nemi

    January 6, 2016 at 4:03 pm

    oche….is the perfect name for the church guy. happy new year dear and don’t mind Bruno sorry Derenle…e chok am well well.

  67. FinchleysFinest

    January 6, 2016 at 5:11 pm

    This article is nice but missing Chuka the DL (So many gay guys are getting married now ) …

  68. Mayo

    January 6, 2016 at 9:31 pm

    Boooom. Go girl.>>>>>

  69. Bamz

    January 6, 2016 at 10:45 pm

    What about…
    1. “the types of men you should be looking forward to having in your life?”
    2. “the types of women you should avoid or look forward to having?

    Men seem to always be the victim of LoveHate relationships. Do you know that a woman can also encourage a man to behave in a certain way?? Don’t forget that this all started with Eve!! She tempted Adam. Take note!

  70. barbiie bitch

    January 7, 2016 at 4:18 am

    @bruno am 100% sure u are one of those guys and that. Is y you are so pained. u probably the broke one

  71. Justice Ben

    January 7, 2016 at 11:16 am

    Well, the question is who’s opinion are we reading; the single ladies or married women? coz it seems some married women still love the men they got . So either something is fundamentally questionable with the independent single ladies or….! Nice one Nkem, though the list could have been longer to cover personas like me. #lol

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