Aunty Bella: Miss. Religious Differences

Aunty Bella is our agony aunt column on BellaNaija. We launched this column in the early days of BN and periodically feature issues sent in by BN readers. To submit any problem for the BN fam to help you tackle, you can email us –www.bellanaija.com/team or leave it as a comment.

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I met this really great guy months ago and we clicked right away. In order to avoid future conundrum, I told him straight away that although I was born into a Christian household, I was not a practising Christian and had no intention of becoming one in the future. Reason being that, I have experienced first hand, that religion does not lead to spirituality. Sure, it gives you guidelines that can help you be a better person, but that’s where it stops.

Being a truly spiritual person starts from within. The pure in heart will always see God, regardless of race or religious affiliations and the thieving, murderous, scum of the earth will not see God simply because they are Christians or Muslims or Jews. Organised religion is a tool used by the powerful to control the minds of the general population. Organised religion is the number one cause of chaos in the world. I believe in a creator, and I believe that this creator is a force of nature that resides within everything created. Taking care of plants, animals, the environment and other humans, is worshipping God in my opinion. If you fail to do all of these, yet frequent the church or mosque, you may as well be Godless.

This guy was so agreeable, claiming he is a non religious Christian himself and that what I believe in resonates with him. I was elated, because for people like me, options of life partners are limited in this part of the world. All was fine and good, until recently when he started giving me ultimatums.

“I want a god-fearing wife who prays with me cause marriage is built on prayers and strong faith”. I told him I’m God fearing, just not in the way he understands it, and we can pray together, I’ll just not pray in jesus name, and even if I do. I believe my prayer to the creator is just as effective without any religion.

The problem now is that I have fallen head over heels, family introductions have been made and wedding planning is under way. I believe a middle ground can be found, and that we can work our differences to create strength. Who knows, in the future i may still retain my worldview but decide to actively practice christianity or something else, because I believe ideas and beliefs are evolutionary not static.

Until then, I do not want to be forced to claim I believe something I don’t, because everyone’s journey is not the same and I didn’t get to this point in my belief system overnight. Do you guys think I’m clutching on straws or is there a chance for us?

~ Suezannah

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