Connect with us

Features

Nkem Ndem: Best Friend or Boyfriend? 4 Signs That Guy is a ‘Bae Blocker’

Nkem Ndem

Published

 on

A few days ago, I put up a fun picture of one of my best friends(To keep things simple, I’ll refer to him as R. Kelly) and I on BBM to celebrate his birthday, and I got the weirdest comment. Just about five minutes after I posted the picture, a friend who has known R.Kelly and I for almost as long as we know each other sent in a message: “CONGRATULATIONS!!! You guys are finally doing it!”

At first, I was ‘perplexed’. What was she on about? Being the curious person that I am, I sent in a reply: “uhm…plix, what are we celebrating?” “Your engagement now!” she replied with a plethora of emojis.

At the word “engagement”, I must confess, tears of joy quickly sprang to my single-and-searching eyes. But then, in split seconds, I realized there was no need for the ebullience as she was not making any sense. “I don’t get? What engagement? This is Nkem”

“Isn’t that a pre-wedding shoot?” she replied with a sad emoji. (Please observe the picture attached to this article)

“Are you alright?” I responded with hesitant laughter.

Kelly and I have kept our friendship under wraps for a long time now (for reasons I will not share), there was no cause for the impression she had, at least not anymore, especially since she also knew that R.Kelly has a steady girlfriend at the moment.

Obviously, our conversation ended there but it got me thinking. I have always introduced R. Kelly, when I had to, as my BF: Best Friend not BF: Boy Friend, but could that possibly be the root of the confusion? I mean, in the course of our friendship, there have been times R. Kelly’s girlfriends and lovers have given him dire ultimatums to choose between them and me, but the two guys I dated never seemed bothered… or had I been blind to the clues? Quickly, I called two other male friends and of course, my ex (yes, we are still very good friends) to verify. All three pointed to the fact that R. Kelly was indeed a ‘baeblocker’, which in this case means: someone who intentionally/unintentionally prevents a friend from having or getting a ‘bae’.

Of course, learning that my best friend has been baeblocking me all this time has been a hard pill to swallow. Like… “adonbilivit”! But then, why is it so hard for people to accept the fact that a boy and girl can remain best friends with no strings attached anyway? They just have to find a way to give it a ‘K’ leg. Anyhow, I decided to share in this article, four of the different signs I was informed that reveal a male best friend is a baeblocker; that way, other girls with male ‘besties’ are in the loop.

He is your perpetual wingman
He basically offers to do everything with you and go everywhere with you: attend events, parties, outings and even church. Your schedules are synchronized so that you are both free to do the same leisure activities together. You friends are his friends and vice versa…so basically you run in the same circle. In fact, people get worried and believe something is wrong when you show up to an event alone, and it now seems as though there is no you without him. While this is what having a best friend should mean, apparently, it can have the adverse effect of dissuading single guys who want to approach and toast you. Quite recently , I attended a mutual friend’s party without R.Kelly and one of the guys I knew since Covenant University walked up to me and said: “Wow, I can’t believe you are here without R.kelly, I have waited for this moment for years.” Two seconds after soaking in the effervescence of his halitosis, I grudgingly granted him a shy smile…but in my head, I was totally saying “Please step aside and keep waiting”. Think about it, if a guy is really interested in you, shouldn’t he brave it all and pursue you, perpetual wing man or not?

He never approves any guy
Anyone who has a best friend or close friend understands the nagging need for your friend’s approval when you find someone you like or intend to date. If he always finds a reason why every guy you talk about is not good enough for you, he fuels your negative thoughts about that prospective bae, and seems to be most comfortable only when you are single, he is definitely a baeblocker. It does not matter if he does it on purpose with the belief that your choices are wrong or he does it unconsciously because thinks highly of you, there is a chance you will remain single for life if you do not tackle it. Actually, this was the point that sold the idea that R.Kelly might actually be a baeblocker, as I recalled the myriad phrases R. Kelly had thrown at my love interests over the years: “Babes, he has stretch marks and boobs biko, come on!”, “I am serious, look at his feet, I am very sure his ‘uhlala’ is like a tiny chalk”, “ Ah! no now, I thought you said you are sapiosexual, that dude is a complete buffoon, haba”. Luckily, I got the chance to address this last year, and though we lost a bit of our intimacy, we set firm boundaries.

He shows PDA in front of possible bae
The moment there is another guy around – whom you obviously might find attractive or interesting, he hovers around you, holding your hands even though there is no need for it. He spends the whole time touching the small of your back, caressing your cheek or brushing his fingers on your forearm; smiling and looking into your eyes when he speaks to you. He opens the door for you, holds your hand bag, sits next to you and put his arm around your shoulder or around your waist, stroking your hair when he knows you’d rather have the other guy doing all that. Real gentlemen seem to have the unspoken code where they don’t pursue a girl they feel another brother is ‘into’, so, these affectionate gestures, although sometimes innocent, fester on the mind of the prospective bae, forcing him to give up on you even before he gets the chance to know you. While PDA comes naturally to friends, especially when they’ve been together for a long time, it can actually be a major reason why one of them remains baeblocked.

He loves you
Obviously my ex came up with this idea as a sign. “He loves you now…are you saying you don’t know? He even says “love you” after every phone call, who does that? The dude was baeblocking you even while we were together”. While his pained response was a shocker, and was definitely bias, I got the gist of what he was trying to say. Of course your best friend is meant to love you, and vice versa; of course you are meant to be expressive about love! Life is too short not to share positive feelings when you have them, but as it is, you may want to be smart about it if you don’t want to be baeblocked. If he loves you and is publicly expressive about it, especially when you have a bae, he may be baeblocking you – he may be the reason your bae breaks up with you eventually, even if he doesn’t state it as a reason.

Bottom line: It is okay to have a male bestie. You may be baeblocked sometimes, however, understand that he may not be out to destroy your chances at love (unless he is secretly in love with you and like Ifeanyi William Moore, he is on attack and trying to pull a snatch). Do not end your friendship based on the baeblocking matter. Actually, 9 out of 10 times, you are the reason you are being baeblocked, as you basically gave the baeblocker the chance to baeblock you in the first place. All you need to do is set some boundaries and ensure you and your friend observe them.

Over the years, R. Kelly and I have had ‘treasured’ moments: him pulling out my hair (literally giving me a large bald patch) because I refused to give him an equal share of Suya that I bought with my own money; him kneeling down in the middle of a crowded road with (fake) tears in his eyes, begging me to end a solid 3-day I-do-not-give-a-sh*t-about-you silence, and so much more. Certainly, it would not be wise to end a long term friendship over a baeblocking allegation, would it?

These signs I have listed are based on opinions from close friends and are possibly just unique to my situation…but then, what do you think? Have you ever been baeblocked? Did you notice any of these signs and are there more? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comment box below.

Nkem Ndem is a dynamic freelance writer and editor who can be reached for copywriting, editing and proofreading. She is also a content creator (web, T.V, radio) who has had stints with Jumia and SpiceTV Africa e.t.c. Now she works at Glam Africa as Online editor and BellaNaija as Features writer. E-mail: [email protected]; IG: @kem_dem; Twitter: @ndemv

55 Comments

  1. Bubu

    February 5, 2016 at 1:33 pm

    Hmmm, interesting one. This happens to the best of us. I was about to comment until I saw the last part of ur article so my comment changed. I think setting boundaries is very important, I have experienced this a lot of times and presently in one, although sort of a different scenario bcos I think we both are deceiving each other about being besties meanwhile we are in love. When u realise this is just friendship, I think its only appropriate to draw the line, there is nothing u can do abt it, u are not same sex so its difficult to prove to ur bae or potential bae that there is nothing BTW u. Every thing u mentioned above is what u should be doing with ur bae so if it’s ur bestie that goes around with u then what’s the role of the bae. U will never expect to keep a man with that kind of bestie hanging around u in the name of being just friends, I think that’s to the extreme. Even atimes men get jealous of a female friend that is so close and is always calling u and wants u to go everywhr with her even wen you are with him. And then he begins to say maybe we should hook her up with so so person maybe wen she also has someone she will be off ur neck. How much more when your so called bestie is a guy. Common let’s be real.

    • zirah baby loke loke

      February 5, 2016 at 5:03 pm

      Yes he will now b looking for boyfriend for her so she can stay in one corner.
      I think girls also bae block mayb of jealousy or for d single gehs associations to b United.

  2. melinda

    February 5, 2016 at 1:42 pm

    it happens to we ladies most when we tend to get a very close pal we can bare it all to….. but if he loves d babe he should open up jare…. why bae blocking?

  3. Amaa

    February 5, 2016 at 1:50 pm

    I grew up with the constant nagging in my ears from parents . A man and a woman can never be platonic friends. I set out to debunk that myth but sadly I never did because all the guys I met in uni stroke professional life always almost did not pass the litmus test. Some started as bestie but some how always spoilt the friendship in the voice of WH if I told you that I have feeling for you. So for me I have decided not bother as one said to me when I asked why do you have to spoil a good friendship and he said you have all I want in a wife and a man will be crazy not to see it and we hugged and that was the end of our friendship because I did not see him like that

    • babyface

      February 5, 2016 at 10:52 pm

      so obviously what your parents drummed into ears is the truth.You can v friends of the opposite sex but the key word is “draw your boundaries”,It saves you from the agony of having emotional issues.

  4. Olu

    February 5, 2016 at 1:52 pm

    Does a guy you are deliberately using to make some other guy jealous (or notice you) also count as a baeblocker?

  5. Otony

    February 5, 2016 at 1:57 pm

    Baeblocker? Is this the reason a brother is single? I should have known ooooooo. I bind every lady baeblocking me.

    • Jay Jay

      February 5, 2016 at 2:26 pm

      Amen 😀

    • ATL's finest

      February 6, 2016 at 9:18 am

      ????????AMEN 🙂

  6. shaday

    February 5, 2016 at 2:27 pm

    Baeblocker tho…mine is self inflicted bae blocker ooo…there’s this dude- lets call him Sisqo (lol!) I like him ehn and I think he likes me too but I can’t really tell for sure, one minute he’s looking at me the way a hungry baby stares at his mum’s boobs, another minute he’s asking me to hook him up with a friend now*angry sigh* Now, my own sorry case is; if I get any ‘scoper’ I just think of Sisqo and the probability that I might be breaking his heart if I say yes to the scoper so I stall…
    *Saynotobaeblockers!*

    • whocares

      February 5, 2016 at 3:04 pm

      @Shaday- SITUATIONSHIP ALERT!!!!! lool . no vez. I had to do that. lol. Does sisquo tell you about his runs or do you think he is keeping himself for you or not chasing other ladies because of you? If so, well that is sweet.. why don’t you guys date already?
      If not, forget hungry looks o. we are all hungry out here and our eyes are red, so both male and female eyes are naturally disposed to look hungry nowadays. Ma lo go o. If you see my hungry eyes too ehn, you go fear man eaters. lmaooo. I joke, I joke. Truthfully, I almost fell into that trap last year. I sharply lent myself brain. Dude was balling with other women but would be acting one kain two kain when I go on dates and be saying things that give false hope, but the actions do not match the words. You need to be brutal at this stage. Forget considering a person who is not considering you. If he is, have a honest conversation about where you stand. Put your big girl pants on, your waist trainer and killer heels and get to talking.. if not carry the same accessories and go out and meet more people jare my sister..

    • Chinel

      February 5, 2016 at 3:24 pm

      Girl move on with your life. Time waits for no man. If he really wants you, he’ll come get you. His loss

    • Chu-chu

      February 5, 2016 at 3:36 pm

      I have been there, the not knowing is so painful. I like this dude, we talk like we are dating, but he blows hot and cold. Next tin, i know he is asking me to hook him up with one of my friends. God give the strenght to hate this dude, i have nvr been heart broken, y now will i allow somebody i am not dating break my heart.? I have prayed to God to help me move on. When i think am getting over him, he pops up again, then am back to square one. I can’t do this best friend thing anymore.

  7. beauty

    February 5, 2016 at 2:35 pm

    Nice write up

  8. mahki

    February 5, 2016 at 2:53 pm

    Well I don’t see this as a problem as you rightly said, you are the one blocking your future relationships kponkwem! Your bestie is your bestie

  9. Friendzone alert

    February 5, 2016 at 3:13 pm

    I don’t believe that whole “we’re 2 single members of the opposite sex bff thing”. I have some male bffs myself, but the reasons we’re not dating are; religious differences, genotype wahala. Etc. If these barriers were not there I would have shut it down and we’d be living in awa picket fence house with 2.5 kids. The only reason a guy would call you friend and not make a move, if you’re both single is because he’s not into you. Stop deceiving yourself. How can you be asking me to hook you up with a friend when you know I am single? Pray for God to break all friend zone yokes the devil is using to chain you down. Lol.

  10. Adaure Njoku

    February 5, 2016 at 3:16 pm

    Love! Love! Love! U go gurlie

  11. Chinel

    February 5, 2016 at 3:21 pm

    Very interesting article. Different strokes for different folks. As for me, I ended up getting engaged to my best friend….my bae blocker. Started as an Innocent friendship. We both didn’t see it coming. We did even the silliest of things together, went everywhere together. It was such a fun friendship…alas, we both fell in love.
    I don’t think any partner would want to be second place really. That sort of relationship should only exist between you and your bae.

  12. Yemisi

    February 5, 2016 at 3:23 pm

    #Saynotobaeblockers! I’ve had same experience. We were very close right from our high school days, (let’s call him Maje) even to the extent momsi started seeing strange vision and was preparing me for him. Momsi practically rejected all the guys I tried to date. She would tell me “forget about them, neither of them was right for me. Focus on your life and the right guy, Maje would open up someday. That was how I focused oo waiting for Maje to open up….

    I was very close to Maje that we would be up all night gisting and sometimes during the day, we would talk about relationships, how he is in search of a lady… when I realized I was not in the nigga’s list, I gave myself some brain and started considering the guys that came around. Still, momsi insisted on Maje…Maje in question never told me anything about dating me.

    When it got of control, I opened up to Maje and his response made me laugh like one that had lost her mind, I cried so much. Maje said he ‘d always taken me as his younger sister…I’d wasted over 10 years because momsi and some other friends, aunties especially momsi.

    Maje is about to hit the altar with some other bae and momsi believes he’s about to make a huge mistake.

    • Ms. Lurve

      February 5, 2016 at 6:58 pm

      Loool @ Maje is about to hit the altar with some other bae and momsi believes he’s about to make a huge mistake.

      I love your mum!

  13. PIZZLE

    February 5, 2016 at 3:23 pm

    You are not the only one who’s been baeblocked, neither is this phenomenon restricted to ladies being baeblocked by (sometimes) jealous guys, all in the name of friendship. I have seen married guys who still lurk around single ladies. What a shame. Let me share my story. When I was single, while coming back from mid-week activities in church, Linda usually rode along in my car, plus we associated freely with each other. This went on for months until I told her about a girl I liked (whom I later married)… “I have a feeling am spoiling your market” Linda said, and stopped following me on her own. Poor girl. It must have been difficult. She though she was baeblocking. Fast-forward to today, my wife recently told me she used to think we had something going on with Linda. And that when I approached her, she thought I wanted to cheat on Linda.

  14. Chiemeka Ugo

    February 5, 2016 at 3:27 pm

    Hmmmm well I have a female best friend that after our break up while in 200 level we became best friends all through our years in the university and after uni. Infact we both won best couple award in our department during our final year and we gladly accepted it. Strangly after nysc we both left naija for the UK for masters and all our friends thought that We both planned it together but it just happened. Because while I was planning to leave for masters we had a little disagreement and did not talk to each other for a long time and that made we both never knew of each other’s plan to travel for masters let alone same country. Fast forward to when I received to the UK I saw her update and it was saying London chilling and then immediately I buzzed her on bbm and asked her what she was doing in London and behold she told me she is schooling now and we both laughed and our friendship started again . Always visiting each other and posting pictures online and people commending that we should just do and get married. Loll. We both have had our separate relationships but never worked out well. And we end up coming back to each other. Her last relationship was a disaster because the guy was so jealous that he thought we were deceiving him with the whole best friend thing. Mine too the same thing as well. I remember one of my ex saying she can’t continue with the relationship because she does not like a guy that has a female best friend. This was just few weeks after we started dating o. But I have discouraged her not to date any guy because whenever she is in a relationship she tends to give me a breathing space from constant calls and bbm pings. So because of that I always force her to date a guy that she tells me that she likes. So I don’t think I was a bareblocker loll.

  15. Queen Deborah

    February 5, 2016 at 3:33 pm

    Your R Kelly is in love with you, the signs are clear stop ignoring them. I think you guys should sit down and talk this out and ask him if he is in love with you. He is baeblocking because he wants to be the bae.

    • Friendzone alert

      February 5, 2016 at 4:17 pm

      Not necessarily. You can get jealous seeing someone you DON’T like move on with another person. But I agree they should have “the talk”. In case there’s any chance he’s really into her.

  16. Sasha

    February 5, 2016 at 3:37 pm

    I didn’t even finish reading this article………..skipped to the end…………it’s not ok to have a male bestie and when you get into a serious relationship hopefully that revelation will come to you! lol I mean, if my hubbie had a female best friend what exactly is my own role is his life? Sorry – just keeping it real.

  17. Mz Socially Awkward...

    February 5, 2016 at 3:41 pm

    One of the closest friends I have (and probably the first person who I’ll point to outside my blood kin, that’s known me the longest) is male and we’ve held it down for decades in good and bad. However, re your 3rd point:-

    “he hovers around you, holding your hands even though there is no need for it… spends the whole time touching the small of your back, caressing your cheek or brushing his fingers on your forearm; smiling and looking into your eyes when he speaks to you… opens the door for you, holds your hand bag, sits next to you and put his arm around your shoulder or around your waist, stroking your hair when he knows you’d rather have the other guy doing all that”

    Baeblocking or not, if R had ever tried any of that PDA mess, I might honestly have broken his fingers off at the bone or smacked the “smiling into my eyes” out of his clouded brain… maybe with the exception of him carrying my bag but that would have been a necessary outcome of my ferocious bullying (bless his peace-loving heart… I really used to worry the lad). To my mind, male-female friendships work best when said male pal can be rated against the expectations/role of a female pal in the same position and you can honestly say that the only factors which make one different from the other are their genitals. So…. if a female friend can’t caress my cheek abi brush fingertips across my upper arm…. the same ominous rule applies to her male counterpart

    All in all, this was a humorous read, Nkem..

    • whocares

      February 5, 2016 at 4:11 pm

      @MSA- I agree. R-kelly wants more and our dear author knows that (see those examples you picked out of your memories and shared with us?) Izzorait, we will let you have your pretence But you just know, that we know, that you know that r-kelly likes you but you just wan bobo us. lool.
      @Sasha- To some extent I agree with you. some dude I knew had a female bestie and they were friends way before me etc but the way I see it, as the relationship progresses, I should be your bestie. I am not trying to replace the mandems in your life, or be instant best friend, but as time goes by and our relationship develops, I should be that best friend. If that does not change then how has the relationship grown? I am weary of guys with female besties (my friends inclusive) they tend to see the world from their friend’s perspective and what they have been told; somehow they don’t see you as you are.
      PS: it seems unrequited love is the reason for the season? chop hugs my beautiful BN ladies xxx.

  18. Ch

    February 5, 2016 at 3:45 pm

    I feel u @shaday. There’s this guy I like but who keeps bringing up his friend all the time. Anyway, I do not want to share all the details on BN, the summary is I have just decided to forget about him and move on. Moving on means, no BBM chat, no liking his posts, and def no calls. Pls my bae, show face this year 2016 o…

  19. AYW

    February 5, 2016 at 3:46 pm

    NKEM & AKAH please you both shld just date n invite me for your wedding biko. Xxxc

    • t

      February 5, 2016 at 5:00 pm

      I know!!! Like what are they waiting for? Cute friendship/love story.

  20. titolu

    February 5, 2016 at 4:08 pm

    Nice piece Nkem, big UPS!!
    But what’s with Ifeanyi William Moore o, @ ”(unless he is secretly in love with you and like Ifeanyi William Moore, he is on attack and trying to pull a snatch)”.
    Is that supposed to be a subtle playful shade, or are we missing smefin?

  21. UO

    February 5, 2016 at 4:15 pm

    Another great piece! Always fun to read your work my dear and catch myself laughing out loud…in public. The thing is sha I have a bae blocker for life. And for a while everyone seemed to have their own ideas about what was going on, if there was indeed anything more to the story. But without ever having to make a big deal about it to each other, we have always understood where we stand with each other. I love him and I’m not afraid to yell or show it infront of others and vice versa. But whenever either one of us is in a relationship, if it’s a good match we are the most supportive of each other and the new bae. One of my ex-bae’s is now good friends with my bae blocker, so I see myself as having done my Angelina Jolie deed for the bae blocker community. People will always have their opinions, but like you said you both know what your relationship means to you, what you are willing to do to keep it and who/what can get in the way of that.

  22. Sisi

    February 5, 2016 at 4:33 pm

    Just curious, since you and R Kelly addressed your issues last year do you now have a bae or a potential bae? I would like to be update Nkem dear. I have always been of the opinion that as a general rule men and women cannot have ‘besties’ ‘BFFs’ of the opposite sex, eventually eventually something happens or something has happened or there is baeblocking or one other messy situation that is best avoided unless you intend on being with each other

    • Nkem

      February 10, 2016 at 4:55 am

      Hi @Sisi, sorry it took a bit of time to reply. My sister, I do not have a Bae yet oh..lol…and potential baes…maybe. But point is, the path is clear now and there’s less discouragement. As regards a male and female being true besties, it is quite tricky. Actually…it is quite rare, but can be achieved. There are times the lines get really blurry…and you get voices in your head…lol..but, your mind needs to stay made up.

  23. Lem

    February 5, 2016 at 5:02 pm

    @shayday and @ chu chi please go watch ‘he’s just not that into you’ that’s the long and short of both your situation. Guys know what they want, if they have made no move, darlings they are just not that into you. You are merely an option.

  24. Mary

    February 5, 2016 at 5:51 pm

    Bae blocking so common these ay, but I blame the ladies for constantly having this handbag yo call your friend

  25. Ijs

    February 5, 2016 at 7:26 pm

    Guys are not capable of being bff with an attractive woman. Once a woman dorsnt find you attractive, she can be your bff forever. I moved into a new estate and quickly made friends with this guy, we go everywhere together: market, church, workout etc. I had zero toasters in this period…I started givin him space…plenty toasters!

  26. Tosin

    February 5, 2016 at 8:20 pm

    y’all get a room.

    singing Two Of Dem (Victoria Kimani)

  27. Omis

    February 5, 2016 at 10:42 pm

    Hmmnnn….#Akahbants

  28. bimsee

    February 5, 2016 at 11:12 pm

    Best write up of yours dearie. Totally on point and factual. We all at one point have found ourselves in such situations. Besties should remain so with boundaries. Its human nature not to readily share such unadulterated friendships.

  29. me

    February 5, 2016 at 11:48 pm

    If a guy likes / loves a lady he will tell her cos she are worth it, if he doesn’t, he is just not into her – he is just taking his chances while the lady is plain naive.

    Men are smart when they want something they go for it. and ladies atimes tend to deceive themselves thinking it’s all up to the man.

  30. Bola

    February 6, 2016 at 12:02 am

    Bellanaijarians! y’all need to see this. Who is this Lagos girl confessing on a Kenyan confession website.
    BellNaija should post it mysecret.co.ke/

  31. Falzina

    February 6, 2016 at 7:40 am

    @titiolu. Me I wondered too oh, could Ifeanyi be the bar blocker she is talking about? But then I clicked on the name and it linked me to one of ifeanyi’a article where he mentioned he prefers to snatch a Babe. LOL.
    @MSA. You are hilarious.
    @ Sisi, dint you see the phrase ” my single and searching eyes”. The Babe is probably still single na. @ Nkem : the effervescence of his halitosis. LWKMD. But why?
    My thoughts though, you realize that girlfriends can be Bae blockers as well? In fact they are the worst. Especially the ones that are as ugly as mount zoom that can never be moved. The moment they know a guy is interested in you, they do everything in their power to block you. I had one, I don’t know if she jealous or she just dint want me to have a boo. Every time she knew I had a dude, she would keep filling my head with negative thoughts, but will be trying her best to get close to the dude. Hian. I quickly ended the friendship. I Kent shout!

  32. Abimbola

    February 6, 2016 at 8:15 am

    Very interesting!!! This is actually very true but could definitely be avoided.

  33. Shadow

    February 6, 2016 at 8:21 am

    This lady and her write up. . . From what I see here it’s simply a case of two people in love but are not able to express it since they have said “there’s nothing going on between us”.

    I personally don’t believe anyone can block a bae. . . If I want babe as far as she never marry. . . the contest is still open.

  34. Whole

    February 6, 2016 at 9:13 am

    Nice piece. Very interesting and kinda hilarious too. I agree wit u. D guy is a ‘baeblocker’. He’s got a bae, uve got none nd u share same feelings (or maybe not)? Biko! Do something

  35. Bussiebee

    February 6, 2016 at 12:10 pm

    Fantastic read and very real too, but I think most best friends (either sex) could be potential bae blockers because they love you so much, they think they know the best for you and are very protective of you so they try to be the judge and the jury on every issue about you. Like you said you have to be a balance. I was a bae “judge” for my best friend (girl too) but one time she set me straight when I was going about my business of advising her against her bae as usual. Lolll. She told me to let it go in a serious tone and that set me straight. I took a step back… ok half a step back and respected her and her decision.

  36. Olamilekan

    February 6, 2016 at 4:39 pm

    This is so true, this actually reminds me of similar thing i experienced during my youth service. had this girl i made my friend then, we were so close that she was literally every where with me at every time and unknown to me this singular act of mine was indirectly blocking every potential beautiful corps member i would have had a chance of going out with. in the end, i became girl friendless during my youth service because the general believe was that were both an item. My advice is set boundaries and make less public showing of your friendship. shikena!

  37. Olamilekan

    February 6, 2016 at 4:40 pm

    *we were

  38. chi-e-z

    February 6, 2016 at 8:36 pm

    hmmm… well hope y’all figure this situationship out. but seriously he says “love you” after … everytime you talk and the guys you date actually know this… Even my brothers don’t tell me love you after we speak. I think u no wat the deal is.

  39. Alternate

    February 7, 2016 at 10:59 am

    What if… You’re really oblivious to the depth of r Kelly’s feelings for you (that’s what you don’t want to believe I’m guessing)… Why do you think his girlfriends saw it and you didn’t…
    What if… R Kelly had always been in love with you and tried to block you out by dating – after he got the inkling that you didn’t want to commit to him. What if… R kelly wanted to see your reaction to him dating anybody else
    What if… You didn’t let what r Kelly thought about any other guy you wanted to date eventually sour things out, ie if you didn’t trust his instincts that much
    What if… You’re not really keen on the whole big deal with commitment, but enjoy the simplicity and fluidity of naturally deep friendships (seems you are a really great personality with best friends)
    What if… You have a best friend who would rather you bae blocked him as well…
    Lol! I just decided to try and see the story from the eyes of the person from which this story emanated!
    Enjoy your life dear, but you both need to talk deep truths to each other and not try to play smart about it

  40. Realist

    February 8, 2016 at 8:43 am

    Why does ‘alternate’ sound like R.Kelly making a sly confession? This has become really interesting. Brother, go and talk to her, don’t be writing epistle here oh!

  41. Alternate

    February 9, 2016 at 12:49 pm

    Thank you @realist, for giving my analytical skills that much rating… 😀
    Original intention was to portray that much- ie what might have been the guy’s perspective.
    So to set the records straight … I am a girl, who just tried to imagine what could be happening on the other side of the story…. All my assumptions are derived from the main article
    Thanks again!

  42. Claire

    February 11, 2016 at 8:43 pm

    So funny! Nkem, this is great! Read your other post! I finally got something to look for on BN. Lol! TuPac was my Bae blocker. Our bestfriends were celebrities. Lmao!

  43. oil

    March 21, 2016 at 12:07 pm

    in a haste to read others’ views but methinks most ladies do take such things for granted

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Get The Pan-Atlantic Advantage

Star Features

Advertisement
css.php