International Women’s Day 2016: The Strength in Girl Power by Anne Adams

Have y’all ever wondered what the world would be like if ladies genuinely love and cared for each other? Well, personally I know the world would be a better place and hopefully a lot of people would agree with me on this one. Most times, we tend to neglect the power we possess as a support system for each other, though our shoulders may not be as strong and firm to cry on but our hearts are tender and compassionate enough and just in the right proportion too. We often let the emerging standards of society tear our magical bonds apart, we let social media and all them crazy things going on overwhelm our emotions and then what next? Backbiting, gossip and hate take over, unnecessary fights and then the mother of all evil “jealousy” sets right in.

Our friends are one of life’s greatest gifts; they help us pass though the difficult hurdles of life-our unending breakup stories, our irrational parents, and our happiest and lowest moments. They coach us on life’s important lessons; sometimes they could be just the mums we need, no judging and no hiding stuff. With them we laugh about what drove us crazy minutes before, we cry without shame, knowing we could be understood. Who says you don’t need a female friend? Men are concerned with solutions not feelings, ascendancy and self-protection but women are naturally vulnerable, they could feel what you are feeling at that point in your life and they could be the best support system and confidantes you could ever ask for. Friends don’t happen overnight, it requires an investment of time, energy and emotions. There’s always the risk of getting hurt, that’s why we need to be careful of who we call friends and who we let into our lives. The dividends of true friendship are unmeasurable that we simply can’t afford to neglect it.

Growing up we had a lot of friends, but as we grew older and more advanced in life our circles began to reduce, priorities are different, personalities clash and to be honest things just change and it’s absolutely nobody’s fault! It is just what it is.

The people we find ourselves with define who we are and where we are going to be, they either make you or break you, they either push you forward or leave you stagnant, they either motivate you or discourage your dreams as the case may be, so we all can see why mama warned us to choose our friends wisely? Well I guess mother was right, she probably had her own share of experiences.

Sometime ago, my girl told me about a mutual friend of ours, who happens not to be a close friend of mine but we tend to hang with the same people, she said to me that this girl was a pretender, very envious of her friends success and she derives pleasure in putting her friends down in public and I remember saying to my friend “Girl! What are you doing with a person like that? Why do you have to tolerate such ignorant mind in this times where people are moving forward and being better” and my friend said to me “I don’t really know, how many people do I cut off my life, how many friends would I then have, after all we all have our bad sides, so we should try to tolerate each other” and it left me thinking, is this a friend or a foe? I cannot explain why people know these characteristics of a “supposed friend” and still stick with them regardless, I mean we are not in 8th grade, this is real life now, ain’t nobody got time for fakeness. Although I agree with my friend that we all have our bad sides but someone that constantly puts you down and is never happy about your success is someone you should definitely flee away from.

It is indeed very saddening to see how ladies these days hate on each other for no reason, there is so much tearing down of each other when we should indeed uphold each other. You go on Instagram and you see two friends fighting and exposing all their secrets and bickering over men. You go on blogs and instead of celebrating the achievement of a fellow woman you see anonymous comments of hate and shaming. You walk into a store these days and females that don’t even know who you are or where you are from just stay gossiping and sizing you from head to toe, you say hi to someone but the response is either cold or you just get this look and you wish you never said hi! We need to realize that we are not in a competition, don’t see that girl as a threat just because she’s prettier or taller, it’s all sheer pettiness and you don’t need it girl! Forming an opinion is one thing but hating on someone you don’t know or you probably know from a distance is another.

In spite of all the craziness and competition, females need each other, history has trivialized female relationships and glorified heterosexual relationships, and we have sexualized relationships between sexes that we have created a stand-off between male and female. Friends are buffers against stress, they listen to our problems and concerns and when we leave them, we feel better and more hopeful. Studies have also found that women who have close female friends are happier in their marriages/relationships, men may not know it but their marriages have been helped because of their wife’s best friends.

I came across a story on a forum some weeks ago, a woman shared with fellow readers about her marriage facing challenges as a result of her inexperience in sex and she needed advice, she later came back to the forum to give a shout out to a lady who reached out to her and helped her through that difficult period of her life, the lady met up with her, bought books for her to read on and gave her all the advice she needed. Now, she had noticed significant change in her marriage and how things are going on well for her and her husband. Can we see the power in female friendship? It is special!

So now after all said and done, we could watch each other’s back, we could love each other, we can get into a place and admire a fellow girl and tell her she looks nice or hey! I like your shoes. If every girl stopped being out to stab or take a dig at each other for every little thing, imagine how peaceful the world would be? We are still new in the year and there is still a lot of time to work on yourself and be a better person to your girlfriend. It’s time we all stood up for #girlpower “support your friend, even if you don’t support their situation”

Happy International Women’s Day!

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