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Charly Boy: Jiggy with Suicide

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With the seemingly growing number of Nigerians suffering from depression, Charly Boy touches on a very relevant topic in his new article.

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Charly Boy - Jiggy with SuicideIt was like any other day.

I was in the studio listening to the sound I tried to put together the previous night. The security personnel came to announce the arrival of my cousin Jimmy (not his real name).
Jimmy was one bubbly guy who was always ready to have a party. Always fun to be with; but on this very day, something was seriously amiss.

There was this faraway look in his eyes, obviously troubled by something. I instructed my studio engineer to excuse us so I could have a one on one with Jimmy. No sooner had he left, Jimmy turned to me and said, “Charly, tonight am ending it all, I can’t go on like this, am going to kill myself.”

Abegi stop talking nonsense, was all I could utter. I decided to probe further to figure out what was really troubling Jimmy.
He had lost a lot of money in the various business ventures he got involved with, his woman had left him and that really devastated him; but in my head that wasn’t enough justification for anybody to want to kill himself! Of course, I didn’t take him serious, I just tried to talk to him sharing my own problems with him in the hope of calming him down.

Three days later, I received the sad news that Jimmy had hung himself from his ceiling fan in his sitting room.

My heart was broken with the news, above all I felt so very guilty for a long long time. Perhaps I should have spent more time listening to him that day, who knows I might have been able to get him to see things differently.

Since then I’ve learnt to listen a lot more and counsel with a lot more sensitivity.

No one can ever truly phantom what goes on in one’s mind that will lead them to activate their own death.
Recently on the Internet, I came across the trending news about a 31 year old Danielle Saul who committed suicide because all her friends were married and she wasn’t.

The increasing wave of suicide cases in the country is taking a fearsome proportion and to say the least worryingly disturbing especially when you consider the age bracket.

People commit suicide for various reasons. Stress factors, like how they deal with their relationship issues, or how broken their spirit feels, poverty, even their mental state are the things that trigger suicide for some of us who can’t deal with the reality of living. As a result, in an attempt to desperately escape suffering or a troubling situation, they commit suicide.

Suicide is a growing trend in our country but hardly anybody seems to be paying attention, perhaps because of the stigma the society attaches to the challenge, largely associated with mental health.” Suicide didn’t just start to happen today but it is often considered a taboo for anyone to broadcast information about it. The implication of this is that it is under-reported and even the police do not get to hear about it because of the stigma attached to it.”

We all go through varying degrees of pain, of stress, disappointment, especially with the prevalent economic situation in the country; how on earth do we survive such situations?
Sometimes I wonder how much despair one needs to feel to get to that state of mind.

Therefore before we start to get judgmental, to say that people who go that route are cowards, let’s know that we all don’t have the same kind of strength or the same inbuilt shock absorber to deal with everyday issues that trouble us.

Let’s remember that some of us are dying in silence, depressed, perhaps already contemplating suicide.

Above all, let love lead in the way we interact with other people in their time of despair, let us be more concerned about the wellbeing of the next person. My advice however is that no matter whatever you are going through, there is always a rainbow after the storms. It will get better just as long as you hold on and believe. I am a living testimony to that. Your life is too precious! Na so I see de matter.

You Nko?

8 Comments

  1. @edDREAMZ

    April 13, 2016 at 11:42 am

    a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said…
    .
    Depression is what will kill naija finish i swear….. God help us shah nothing else..
    .
    .
    ***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

    • kaeto

      April 13, 2016 at 6:22 pm

      Everyone has considered suicide, and really we need to be very honest with ourselves… What does life mean to us…I am in a very reputable university ( when I choose college for communication studies), my daddy needs me having the best result ( I truly just need to learn, than being a robot and reading, passing without making sense or even understanding how the knowledge can add value in my everyday life)… Someone committed suicide cause she did not do well in school… lack of control can kill a soul… I can not and will never work for anybody, I can not loose myself for anyone and I must create my own meaningful purposeful life that gives me abundance… We have to believe in God, and work by faith that in him we can do all we ask for… Let our actions give us life, if we choose life… Why work in a place that kills you? you feeding death, why be with one that brings you down? You feeding death… Why make friends with people of no value and add nothing to yours? Please live fearlessly at the same time never make anyone ( except me) and anything bigger than you…

  2. Strit Kredibility

    April 13, 2016 at 11:44 am

    Charlie, the world has become alarmingly competitive and so vane. Too Many people chasing fewer resources and the coefficient of disappointments and failure has thus become higher. depression can arise as a result of a number of factors, but the monetary and lifestyle induced ones are worrying to say the least. I sympathize with the loss of your cousin and pray his family find consolation.

    The world revolves round the mind, if mitochondria is the power house of the cell, the mind is the power house of the human existence, it is what should be taken care of first not body and looks. Most people attribute a lot to appearance than well being, the converse should be the case and acquisitions. Depression is not by design but circumstantial and circumstances can change. Positive outlook irrespective, can change situations.

    I want to encourage the very many BN readers and their circle of influence to always be light hearted and not pay so much premium on the things the fast world thrusts on our doorsteps daily. Success is not defined by lack but by contentment and being within the right set of ideals. The average Nigerian has become so monetized that simple things of life like living within means is now esoteric.

    i come here on BN mostly to have fun, tongue in cheek most times and blunt a few times. i love the pictures i see, love reading the stories, entries, controversies and diverse arguments that go on here. The affluent weddings and random battabox videos, from the the exotic, to the quixotic, from the regular to the eccentric, I love them all, But i dont want to be like the things i see as i have a life made for me in which i will most likely find happiness. I like to be me irrespective of what plays out in front of me. This is my own coping mechanism. The joneses can keep up with themselves.

    • Strit Kredibility

      April 13, 2016 at 11:49 am

      *…Most people attribute a lot to appearance and acquisitions than well being, the converse should be the case..

    • Engoz

      April 13, 2016 at 3:23 pm

      Success is not defined by lack but by contentment and being within the right set of ideals.

      I’m stealing this quote because the word contentment is what I am grateful my parents instilled in me as a kid. Your last paragraph is also very apt.

  3. anonymous

    April 13, 2016 at 1:37 pm

    Depression can do and undo. RIP jimmy ?

  4. ujay

    April 13, 2016 at 2:12 pm

    Another encouraging one from you. I always find your writings motivating. I like the part where you said ” let’s know that we all don’t have the same kind of strength or same inbuilt shock absorber to deal with everyday issues that trouble us”. You’ve said it all. To all those going through one problem or the other, we all have stories to tell. It has never been easy with anyone. Sometimes, we just have to have the courage to encourage ourselves.

  5. larz

    April 13, 2016 at 3:09 pm

    For most in Africa, depression and other mental issues as well as suicide is a taboo. I think some of the historic data are under reported as most family live in denial and pretend their family members died for other reasons (including juju). Having said that, I think the availability of social media, a larger platform for keeping up with the Jones (including those Jones you don’t even know personally) is making this worst.

    To help reduce this, we need to reestablish a community structure which is largely decreasing. I am not sure we have quite establish the balance between respecting people’s space and operating as a community.

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