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“You’ll Live & You’ll Thrive!” Toyosi Phillips Writes Letter to Her Younger Self As She Turns 30 Today

Toyosi Phillips



Toyosi PhillipsDear Salt of the Earth,

Looking at you, I know you have no idea what lies ahead so I’ll tell you. Your life will stay perfect for a little while longer and thankfully, all your needs will be met.

Seeing your grandmother every weekend at her face-me-I-face-you in Amukoko will open your innocent eyes to the limitations of poverty; going to the best of primary schools in Nigeria will open those same eyes to the power of wealth. You’ll spend the early part of your life trying to fit into both worlds. You’ll be a misfit in both.

You’ll make and lose good friends as you grow older- some, due to your stupidity some due to theirs but none of these losses would have the same significance as daddy’s death. Yes, he dies; and even though you’ll play the “my father is dead” pity card over and over again to get out of trouble in high school and college, you’ll genuinely miss him year after year as you’re forced to grow up quickly.

You’ll be misunderstood by loved ones and you’ll become angry… very angry… at everything and at everyone but you’ll hide the anger from all but those who love you the most- maybe because you have faith in their love for you. You’ll snap at the slightest of things behind closed doors but put on your cheery mask – just as you step outside those same doors. Every sincere, “how are you?” that’s sent your way will be met with a chirpy, insincere, “fine, thank you”.

Spirit-Controlled Temperament will change your life. You’ll read it over and over again and realize that you’re intrinsically susceptible to lust and anger. A foolproof solution is however, proffered in the book and the little spark of spirituality you have in you will become a full-blown fire.

“Know Jesus, know peace” will become real to you as you feel all the anger and hostility seep out of your heart. Your life will change for good.

Spoiler alert munchkin: You’ll move to New York City and you’ll find yourself even more and fall deeply in love with the person you’ve become. The crying will stop, you’ll forgive and seek forgiveness, you’ll live and you’ll thrive. A few days before you turn thirty, you’ll decide to write a letter to your younger self; a letter reminding her that she’s beautiful and blessed, a letter assuring her that she’ll be fine regardless.

Toyosi Phillips is a Lagos-based producer, presenter and writer. She produced and hosted “The Gist with Toyosi Phillips”, an entertainment show on SaharaTV New York for two seasons and co-hosted Sahara FM's weekly radio show from 2014 to 2015. She guest-writes for different publications including Bellanaija and Genevieve Magazine and is quick to mention to everyone that she saw Oprah at the 2016 Essence Festival in New Orleans. Her vlog turned talk show, "As Toyo Sees" will be airing on networks world wide soon. For more news and updates, - Subscribe to her YouTube channel (Toyosi Phillips) - Check out her website - Follow and interact with her on Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn @toyosiphillips


  1. Tunde

    May 10, 2016 at 5:18 am

    Amen and to me also,my story will change for good,in the midst of the economy slow down.

  2. Andy carkie

    May 10, 2016 at 5:30 am

    Beautiful. May God continue to bless you love. These words are very encouraging and inspiring

  3. Rose

    May 10, 2016 at 6:34 am

    Don’t look thirty to me? Please we have eyes stop deceiving us.

    • Love her!

      May 10, 2016 at 8:54 am

      I mistakenly liked your comment after reading the first part. May God deliver you from hate.

    • dddddddd

      May 10, 2016 at 10:06 am

      you are so pathetic .Not even happy birthday..and as for the eyes ,you are blind ni

  4. Funmilola Adebari

    May 10, 2016 at 7:57 am

    Very good Toyosi, age well with grace…

  5. Halima

    May 10, 2016 at 8:08 am

    Happy birthday toyosi! I wish yo all the good things you wish yourself. May born we rock! My birthday is tomorrow yay

  6. Zayneerb

    May 10, 2016 at 8:34 am

    I filled this space just because i am a May born too… lol

  7. Ephi

    May 10, 2016 at 8:50 am

    Happy Birthday Toyosi

  8. jhennique

    May 10, 2016 at 9:15 am


  9. mz_daniels

    May 10, 2016 at 9:38 am

    Reading things like this makes me wish I made more female friends when I was growing up and that I was less hard on myself.

    Growing up and speaking with other females only to realize we had the same struggles, fears, tears and feelings of not fitting in. And also to speak with old acquaintances to hear that they always admired you and considered you a strong woman even when you felt empty inside.

    My advice to my younger self and to young teenage girls, fall in love with life, do not try to be perfect, embrace your journey and write YOUR OWN story. Most importantly, know that your worth was decided in the book of Genesis and pauline epistles ‘God saw everything he had made (including you) and behold it was VERY Good; ‘and the lord said to Abraham, count the stars, if you can number them, so shall your seed be. (You are one of those stars baby) and most importantly ‘You are bought with a price; that price is the life of God’s only son, yes, you are worth the life of a GOD’.

    Can’t wait to have a daughter, if I can teach her to love herself, and see herself the way God sees her. If I can give her a serenity, meek and quiet spirit that works her own path as long as it doesn’t negatively affect God and man. Then I succeeded cos it took me getting to 25 years to get to that point in life and I’ve seen people in their 50s who seem not to have that

    • Sisi

      May 10, 2016 at 1:58 pm

      I had similar thoughts reading this, very alike at 26. I hope the falling in love with myself part continues as I learn and grow more.

      Happy birthday Toyosi, a lovely letter – sometimes we need to reflect to see where we’ve come from and how our experiences have shaped us.

  10. Tunrayo

    May 10, 2016 at 10:13 am

    Happy Birthday Toyosi. I watched your show on Sahara when it was released at the time on YouTube. When will we be able to watch your short film?

  11. FinchleysFinest

    May 10, 2016 at 11:11 am

    WOW she’s 30? I will go and drop something inside her Instagram DM…

    Happy Birthday my crush everyday all day…
    o ya . ayaff stop

  12. Kojo

    May 10, 2016 at 11:11 am

    Toyosi pls if you are reading this I have a high crush on you lol

  13. temi

    May 10, 2016 at 12:53 pm

    Lmao. Thirty bi ti bawo. loll

  14. Maima

    May 10, 2016 at 3:07 pm

    Happy birthday Toyosi!! You are so beautiful inside and out. I’m thankful for the opportunity I got to talk to you weeks ago. Xx

  15. BE

    May 10, 2016 at 3:42 pm

    Lovelyy!!! Happy birthday Toyosi! 🙂

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