Aunty Bella: Miss. My Relationship Is Not Working

Hello good evening. Please pardon me for the way I typed. Please, I have an issue with my boyfriend. From the beginning, I always felt he was a broke person, but I’m beginning to think he isn’t a good saver, or is he being stingy? Moreover, I have always given him career advice but he hardly ever listens. I don’t see him as the hardworking type, but he tells me he isn’t lazy. I have given
him links.

I feel a guy at his age shouldn’t be too dependent on his parents; because all the guys I know, even girls, do little jobs with school to survive – especially since he never has money. I stopped helping him when I realised I spend #1000 for 3 days,but he spends the cash I send him for a day. It was a sign of extravagancy, so I stopped helping him financially, because I felt he would never learn by helping him.

We have been dating for 4 years now but he hasn’t really given me a gift,he gave me a purse once and that’s all. Whenever he visits me or meet he never gives me a thing. I do not even ask him. The few times I do, I always pay back.
There was a time a hypocritical girl I know, was saying what did he bring for me a time he visited, and she kept asking and said sorry o. Imagine…Though, I warned her never to interfere in my relationship matter again, that she doesn’t know who we are or how we do things our relationship. I just had to say that. It’s almost a year now. Then, he was a student, but now he is serving and earning from the company and NYSC. From the time we were to meet this period, he changed location of where we were to meet. He wanted indoors; though I disagreed,because I felt that was getting too much and getting boring. I need to walk around with you, we should talk, and also I had to tell him to get me something that I would pay him back, because I didn’t want to go back to school empty handed.
I don’t want someone insulting or thinking bad about my relationship – though he bought, but he didn’t collect the money.

Then few days after I told him my mind and was like when would you ever get me something, you only do when I tell you I would pay back. Like do I have to tell you everything? After that time he was usually ignoring me, only chats when I talk. This went on till his birthday. I wished him well, called throughout then brought up the
matter again two days after. He just snubbed me, and said that I was bad, I was this and that. Then our chats ended. He didn’t call me for weeks, deleted me from Facebook, then came back begging. I stood my ground not to go back to him, but people intervened and said stories on why I should give him a chance and I did.

Now, I try to bring topics up; we chat. It’s a month now after the comeback, but I feel he is
worse now. He hardly has anything to say. Nothing.

Chats are still dry; even worse,he hardly calls. Then I spoke to him that I wouldn’t like to fall out of love with you, because we are humans with feelings. That I remember how I would usually think of you to bed. He was the only one I saw, that I am beginning to feel less than that for him. Then he said I shouldn’t worry, he would make it up to me. He would surprise me, he would do this and that; but I asked him when would that be? That can’t even our chats be good? We start chatting by 8, you go to bed by 9. He sleeps early,even when there’s holiday. I told him that I don’t have to wait till you are a billionaire – that a nice person would be nice no matter what.

He apologised and spoke that he loved me more than the world. I was happy and went to bed only to wake up in the morning and plan to send him beautiful love notes. I halted, started chatting with him, only for him to stop replying. Then I asked, are you still there or you have gone to bed? Then he started saying “you, didn’t you say
you were just managing me last night, bla bla bla, I don’t care etc…

I was shocked and was like in my mind was he drunk last night? Now this night he called and was hailing me on phone, laughing. I couldn’t even say anything.

Please help. I don’t know if I should take a walk. The only thing I think of is the past, when I really loved him and his beautiful face, and wonder if he could still be that way. He tells me no one can love me like he does; though I never listen to that. But still I always have the fear of where would I start from…four
years!
Please advice,say harsh words. I don’t mind.
Thank you all.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime