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Seun Akinlosotu: Blooming Woes – The Rush To Become a Woman

Seun Akinlosotu

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dreamstime_xl_33328187I was a late bloomer.

My much younger version was just a late bloomer at everything. From math to boobs, it took forever for everything to fall into place. I just felt I was a natural born olodo; it explained everything really, but nonetheless I couldn’t understand what being an olodo had to do with my boobs not growing. Girls my age in my dorm and classroom were already wearing brassieres.

I was 14 when I starting becoming body conscious. I can be so aloof and very unaware of the world I’m in. My joy and pride back then were in books. I loved reading novels and totally immersed myself in them and used to win prizes for best student in English and English literature so I guess I was not a central olodo. Anyway sha, maybe because of all the reading and mentally teleporting myself to another world constantly, I didn’t realize on time that I was the only one without boobs, and the only one who was not menstruating at that time. It was as if we all went on one long holiday with zero boobs and looking like bamboo sticks; but everyone returned 2+ months later with curves and brassiere (those white cotton ones with lace at the top), and Always sanitary pad. Some even had boobs that could feed a whole nation… Everyone except me.

On resumption day, we would check out each other’s provision cupboard stylishly to see what we all brought; those of us besties would merge our provisions together because in boarding school, provision alliance was the key to surviving until the end of the term. I saw the tins of Peak Milk, Milo, Cabin Biscuits. Yes….yes, but what were these green and white sanitary pad packs prominently displayed in the cupboards? I swear I believe each girl did this so that anyone passing by would know she had gone through this transitional rite of passage phase. Everyone except me, that is.

Upon realizing that I appeared to be the only one without an Always sanitary pad and a white brassiere, I cried myself to sleep almost every night. I then decided that I would join this elite group of girls by all means. I spent every moment I had eavesdropping on conversations about boobs and periods and hips and how to grow these things. Then one day I heard some girls talking about an insect that spins round and round on sand, and you can’t really see it unless you dig for it. All you see while it spins is the circular movement in the sand. For the life of me, I cannot recall its name.

Until I heard this gist, I had never heard of this insect before but by the description, I knew I had seen those circular shapes in sand before but never gave it a thought. Apparently, you take the insect from the sand, and you put it on your chest where the boobs ought to be and let it hang out there for a bit. Repeat on the other side of the chest because you know we don’t want one boob now, abi? Then you discard of the insect.

When my dad came to pick me up for the holidays I was super elated to hear we would be spending the weekend at our country home in Ondo town before headed to Lagos. I knew there was no way I would find that insect in Lagos, because there was no sand like that where I lived so Ondo was the place to find it.

I found this insect under the palm trees in front of our house. I took it to the bedroom and sat staring at it, trying to sum up the courage to put it on my chest. I picked it up many times and thought to myself, Seun you must do this thing otherwise you will graduate from secondary school without boobs. You will be the only person in the assembly hall writing WAEC with no boobs. Is this how you want to go down in history?
The more sensible part of me remembered her father is a Pharmacist and mother a trained nurse; haven been exposed to many talks on health & medicine I should not try this because my parents will kill me, should I catch some disease from this thing riding on my chest.

The latter prevailed. I returned the insect to its abode.

Then 2 days before school resumed I had a brilliant idea to cut into pieces an old Ankara cloth that belonged to my mum. I cut it into round shapes, took a couple of her bras and started practicing. I would stuff my bra. There was no way I was returning to school without boobs. No way at all. I returned to school and no one even said anything about my new boobs and the fact that there was nothing there when I showered in the presence of other girls as was customary in my school, but there was a soft rise under my uniform when I was fully dressed. I went through all this trouble and these people did not even notice! Hiss.

Then one day the Senior Prefect whom I had been secretly dating showed up in a classroom where I used to go hide to read a novel in other to escape corporal work. He then decided he wanted to kiss me for the first time. He kissed me lightly and then his hands gradually moved from my shoulder trying to proceed to the boobs. Yepa…mogbe…my eyes flew open kia kia at the realization of what was about to happen, and I ran. I ran from that classroom like Forest Gump and didn’t stop till I got to my hostel. I’ve never run that fast in my life, not even on Inter-House sports day. Touch my boobs and then find out they are pieces of cloth?

I don’t think so, not in this 1996 abeg.

Do you have any stories to share?

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

Seun Akinlosotu is a Tech Analyst by day and an aspiring Writer by midnight. She's a self proclaimed Romanticist who likes to write light heartedly. Her write ups are geared at a cross mix of audience, none of which will need an Oxford Dictionary to understand her. There's more to read from her at www.lovedeyshackme.blogspot.com. & on IG @Chechecosmos

28 Comments

  1. Qej

    July 7, 2016 at 5:24 pm

    Some even had boobs that could feed a whole nation…lol nice piece, am one of those that had boobs dat could feed a whole continent in my sec sch days! Hehehe

  2. King Bae

    July 7, 2016 at 5:30 pm

    LMAO, this story made me laugh… hahaha. But anyway, there was a period in my young adolescent that most girls seemed to be so pretty and extra gorgeous. All the senior boys gawked at them and always fancied them… me the late-bloomer, was always ignored, in my head i was like.. “ah God, when would i be fine and beautiful like them?”… Fast-forward to many years now, i see some pics of old school mates, and am i like “What the hell happened to you?” “Is this what they were dying for?” LOL. Sometimes early bloomers don’t turn out HOT and sometimes late bloomers turn out total unrecognizable(in a good way) in the future. #ProudlyALateBloomer #SuperHottie. I’m to die for now LOL… okay bye…. great read Seun 🙂

    • Nkem

      July 8, 2016 at 4:59 am

      I can totally relate! Except when I look at old photos of myself, I was always beautiful. Just the comparing myself to other girls and constantly worrying about guys liking me stopped me from seeing my own beauty.

  3. AA

    July 7, 2016 at 5:52 pm

    Hehe, interesting read and i can relate. …. but you didn’t tell us how big the boobies are now.

  4. Oma

    July 7, 2016 at 6:23 pm

    Such a fun read Seun, thank you. I was a late bloomer too, like you was distressed about my booblessness, i even prayed fervently about it, lol. Annoying thing though is that after all the long wait, i still have small boobs, lol, but i like them sha cos they are so forward looking… and not in danger of facing north anytime soon :))

    • Oma

      July 7, 2016 at 6:24 pm

      *facing south, i mean jare

  5. realchild

    July 7, 2016 at 6:27 pm

    Ah, ah, AA! Tell you how big her boobs are now? Don’t mind her/him jor, Seun. Lol. That was an interesting read, though.

  6. realchild

    July 7, 2016 at 6:29 pm

    Quite an interesting read!

  7. olapeju

    July 7, 2016 at 7:27 pm

    Interesting read I must say…
    Begs the question, is early blooming a curse? Within the space of 2 weeks I have heard of 16 year olds (2 of them actually) engaging in sexcapades and getting pregnant while at it. I am still heart broken as these girls are well known to me.
    What is it with teenagers and their thirst for sexual exploration? Hormones? I just dongerrit!
    Is it not better to remain flat chested nigbayen.

  8. bola

    July 7, 2016 at 7:39 pm

    very funny story, I was a middle Bloomer lol,going to a day school helped too, I remember a.friend wore a tight fitted top in ss3 and then another screamed ah na your breast small like this!she was so ashamed,i could see d tears forming.i remeber wondering why her boobs looked like coke bottle cover then too,but u need to see the babe now, some figure 8 something

  9. pheavour

    July 7, 2016 at 7:44 pm

    love this! dey need to know what we passed thru at dis stage.
    luv ur piece of writeup

  10. Early bloomer

    July 7, 2016 at 8:29 pm

    Nice piece… I was an early bloomer pubic hair at 7 boobs at 10… My mother was so strict with me chai it was so bad I couldn’t even say hello to a guy somehow it affected my selfesteem and I wasn’t a confident adult… Thankfully I scaled through university a virgin at 21 and then the pressure to get married swung in… Hmmmm finally married at 25 and today at 27 I’m wishing I stuck to my gun and pursued my career, got an MBA etc my marriage isn’t bad but I feel like I haven’t lived life ? But motherhood and wifehood have slowed me down. Anyway once my baby hits one I’m getting my life back ?

  11. "changing moniker"

    July 7, 2016 at 8:30 pm

    I was a late bloomer as well. I remember praying for boobs. …haha…The joy of not having anything to bother about but boobs… lol….lol remember touching my best friends boobs once wondering if I would ever have such. ..lmao. …still a c cup….sigh. Some things are hereditary.

  12. Jewell

    July 7, 2016 at 8:45 pm

    Nice write up, could we be soul sisters. I was a late bloomer too, from boobs to period to brains and to beauty to personality development. I felt odd then and sad and all of a sudden towards the end of secondary school and first year in university, I transformed even to my own amasement.

  13. Babe

    July 7, 2016 at 9:28 pm

    Haha, well I was an early bloomer- grew boobs at 8 and it was a horrible time for me, everyone made comments about them and my annoying sisters would tease me about them and touch them with the all the soreness. I kept bending my back to hide the boobs(I have a bent posture now) and wore double clothes to make them invisible but somehow people still noticed and just had to comment. Like that wasn’t enough, I began menstruation at 10 and I hated my life. I was confused at first and thought I got injured ‘there’ then reality dawned on me. I went to the toilet and cried. I remember washing my pants one after the other till I exhausted all. I was devastated. I couldn’t even talk to anyone. So I started stealing my sisters’ pads and secretly buying too till I was 12 and the period was getting regularly and I couldn’t cope with being dodgy and secretive(talk about when I forget my pad in the sink and rush to get it before someone else gets there and sees it) anymore and buying pads myself. I told my mum and she was glad for me. My sister still taunted me with those annoying “you’re now a woman” talks but I didn’t really care like I would have when I first started. My friends in school on the other hand were late bloomers. They would wear pads and hope for a miracle period. They were totally flat-chested. So I was the only one with boobs though I used to take my bath very early in the morning and very late at night so no one would see my boobs. And I didn’t tell them I had started my period. Till I got stained and they saw it and were jumping for joy for me. I sha pretended like I just started and the whole hostel heard about it. Pffft! . They treated me specially, blah blah. And they were askng me to pray for them and transfer the period anointing to them *rme*. And yes they bought bras and stuffed them like you did. Well fast-forward, four years later, they blossomed from total flat-chest to D-cups in barely three months. All three of them, while I was a B-cup(still am). Was a shock to everyone. And they grew big butts too and were looking so ‘womanly’ lol. I was happy for them sha, at least all the attention I didn’t like was going to be gone.

    PS: Are there any early bloomers who feel like their boobs haven’t grown bigger since they started growing them ?

    • Babe

      July 7, 2016 at 9:33 pm

      Damn, please pardon my errors. Didn’t proof-read.

  14. Tamy

    July 7, 2016 at 10:28 pm

    Hahahahahahahahahaha funny article, I was a bit of a late bloomer but I wasn’t in a hurry. When the boobs came I hated bras cos they made me feel uncomfortable so my mom got me these sports bras and they were my bras everyday till ss3. As for my period it came when I was 13 abi 14, oh okay I hated that one too (still do though not as much as then), cramps were not an issue as I didn’t have that I just hated the fact that I had to wear something in between my panties for some days every month. I was really nonchalant about such stuff maybe being the first girl contributed to the nonchalance, maybe not. My sisters started earlier than me and are more blessed than I am in the boobs not bum region, not a bother to me shall at least I get something front and back to differentiate me from a dude?

  15. Yeyeperry

    July 8, 2016 at 9:30 am

    At S.S 3, I had no boobs. God knows how much i prayed for it and even wore bras on my flat chest. But you know when God is ready for your story to change na sharp sharp. lol. In a few months i went from “no breast” to the “bustiest”of all my peers.

  16. Violet

    July 8, 2016 at 9:34 am

    LMAOOOOO!!!! Oh my days! This just reminded a lot of high school… sigh.

  17. Violet

    July 8, 2016 at 9:38 am

    Well, i was a late bloomer too… in fact, it never grew pass a particular size, lol. but i still dont care, im not ‘endowed’ but i’m one beautiful lady. I’m content.

  18. Zeeebby

    July 8, 2016 at 9:54 am

    CHAI…… we thank God. I was a late bloomer oh and I was short too; just imagine the combination. Funny enough, I never felt any different at all I was always the happy go lucky girl, wasn’t bothered much about not having a bf but I def liked it when I did. The only thing I was crazy about was starting my period because that was the only way to get out of morning prayers and enjoy more sleep. I had been faking periods 2 years before I even started, every time the matron comes to wake us for prayers in the morning, I would say I am on my period….until one day the woman said “oya off pant I want to see” OFF COURSE THERE WAS NO BLOOD JUST A DRY SANITARY TOWEL……..The frog jump I did that day ehn….. I will NEVER Forget.

  19. Damilola.

    July 8, 2016 at 10:12 am

    I can totally relate! Had my first period in jss3 and i didn’t start wearing a bra till i was in ss2. i had such small breasts and i used to wear singlets and bra tops because there was simply NOTHING on my chest. I had pimples, i was geeky too, wearing thick glasses and i was super skinny and very tall. i hated myself so much and i felt hopeless. However fast forward to year 2 in unilag, i suddenly had the biggest boobs in my room lool and my body started filling out. Now i’m a yummy 5″10 with big breasts, a pretty face and so many people drooling over my figure, tbh i wonder what i was actually worried about in secondary school!

    • "changing moniker"

      July 8, 2016 at 5:22 pm

      i know you……Aren’t you my Dam K?

  20. Latebloomer

    July 8, 2016 at 10:29 am

    So my boobs started growing in primary school inc my friends too. But their boobs grew bigger than mine and mine just refuse to grow past A/B cup coupled with I wasn’t pretty at all lol so I thought. Bam secondary school came, I became engaged in every sport, fiammm hips appeared, but still boobs no show even till now. I wore chicken fillets in my bra for a good few years till my looks finally improved hahahahaha then all the boys wouldn’t let me rest. Stopped wearing chicken fillets age 22/23 from age 17/18 and stopped caring for my small breast, my winning personality, beauty, hips and ass came into play. Still no breast o but my breast are better even after I had my son sha. It’s defo in the jeans, my mum has 3 sisters who have breast that can feed a continent but my mum no get nothing o and same mother and father too, is just not fair jare. I have made peace with my breast since discovering not all guys like big breast lol. My husband loves me just the way I am. Also it’s defo how you carry yourself, regardless of anything just be confident in yourself and keep your chin up.

    Not to self-I must pay attention to my daughter when she is at this stage.

  21. Nonye

    July 8, 2016 at 12:22 pm

    Reading your story reminded me of a friend in Comlag 97 set. Oh my days…lol. So, Ada had small sprouting boobs and needed them big. One mischievous Chichi babe in Tiger House told her this same story of putting an insect on your boobs for it to bite you. She told her the insect was around the auditorium. Before you could say Jack Robinson, Ada sprinted to that location in search for the rare insect.. Still laughing at the foolishness.

    May I add, I was a late bloomer and still have small sized but out there boobs. There were fables of how to get them bigger boobs. E.g. guys smooching you, drinking plenty milk…. Thinking about this just makes me laugh.

    You should write about all those myths about puberty sometime.

  22. Esther

    July 8, 2016 at 5:11 pm

    I didn’t wear a bra until I was in 100level and up till now my mom still teases me that my boobs are not big enough to wear a bra.
    Because I was a tomboy I was glad I didnt have boobs while my mates were having even up till SS3 it was just nipples. I was as dry as a stick yet I started my period before most of them. Those days were the woeful days when I avoided everybody like a plague and cried to God to just permanently make me a boy.
    Fast forward to after graduation from uni, and my mom is like “where were these curves hiding when your mates were growing”
    The boobs are still as tiny as ever but I’m not complaining nothing a properly padded bra won’t do. Plus I get to pull off plunging necklines and going braless without shame of any extra jiggling anywhere. Besides the hips and bum make up for the lack of boobs

  23. osaretin

    July 8, 2016 at 5:18 pm

    Very funny read! Enjoyed it.

  24. mars

    July 8, 2016 at 9:37 pm

    I can totally rrelated

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