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Mya Williams: Why Wait Till Death to Eulogise Those We Love?



Photo credit: © Mrslevite | - Young Woman PhotoIn the movie “The Fault In Our Stars”, the lead actor (cant remember his name right now) asks his on screen girlfriend (Shailene Woodley) to eulogise him. They were both sick with Cancer but his was advancing at a more rapid pace. She gave a beautiful eulogy and her boyfriend wept as she delivered it. He wept for her sincerity, the honesty in the words she used to describe him and for the pain in her eyes as she wrangled with the thought of one day never seeing him again. Lastly, he wept because he felt exactly the same way. That day he received a gift in the form of genuine empathy, honesty and love that he felt. A gift he was able to enjoy because he was there to hear it and also see her emotion.

A lot of people will not have the luxury of such a gift, because they would be dead and lying in an open coffin in the front of an altar, as opposed to sitting in an empty pew in the church, while your loved one eulogises you from the pulpit (as was in the film). Once in a while we tell our loved ones we love them; maybe on their birthdays, on a special occasion or perhaps when they’ve done something nice for us. However, do they REALLY KNOW that we love them and most importantly, do they FEEL that love? We should tell our loved ones and those we care about how we feel about them much more often, rather than wait for a cliché birthday message. We needn’t wait for a special occasion; let them feel the love now! One of the most beautiful quotes ever reads:

I’ve learnt that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel” – Maya Angelou

A feeling will never be forgotten. It may be conveyed through words, actions or inactions but it wouldn’t be about what you said or how you said it, it would be about how it made the person feel. So lets make our words and actions count as much as we can. Show love to those you care about NOW, let them know how you feel, there really is no time like the present. However, do not stop there, also show love, compassion and empathy to those you don’t know and those who may not be able to repay you.

A very Merry Christmas to the BN family!

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

Mya Williams is a fiercely passionate and fun loving rebel/nonconformist. She loves to write in her free time. She emphatically believes that certain societal customs and norms must be challenged if one is to have a truly fulfilled and happy life.


  1. bumble bee

    December 13, 2016 at 5:04 pm

    Wow… I remember crying all thru that movie and it’s true. Sometimes we wait till someone is dead b4 we tell them how much they mean to us.. happened to me recently.. someone I used to date died, till today I carry the guilt of not remaining friends even after he tried severally to remain friends and I rebuffed his offer each time, seen him in my dreams twice and each time I want to talk to him, he laughs and smiles and walks away.. I wake up trembling.. trust me this has changed my life forever.. The pain of not reaching out and being friendly far outweighs the emotional pain I thought he gave me

    • sweetzie

      December 14, 2016 at 12:55 am

      But why would you carry the emotional pain and guilt. You guys dated. You probably dont want to deal with emotional attachtment that comes with being friends with him. You should let go of this feeling or better still, speak with a therapist. May your friend continue to rest in peace.

  2. lonelygirl...

    December 13, 2016 at 5:30 pm

    Eulogy… ” A speech that praises someone who has died” or ” a commentary oration or writing especially in honor of one deceased. ” thats why we wait tiil death to ” Eulogise” those we love.

    • Heartminders

      December 13, 2016 at 10:23 pm

      I just gave you about 20likes

  3. Beard gang

    December 13, 2016 at 5:56 pm

    @lonelygirl that is not the only meaning of eulogy.. i think what writer is trying to say is tell people that you love, care and appreciate all they do for you while they still draw breath.. eulogy also means speaking highly of someone..
    bellanaija commenters constantly on attack

  4. esther

    December 13, 2016 at 6:12 pm

    Felt goose bumps reading this.

  5. Awiase

    December 13, 2016 at 6:26 pm

    Sad but still the truth.Just like in Africa where we wait for people to die on bad roads before mending it,bridges to break down and kill people before mending them.

  6. Heartminders

    December 13, 2016 at 10:30 pm

    Very deep!

  7. chic wen sabi

    December 13, 2016 at 11:49 pm

    An amazing write up. instead of people to always look at the lessons or inspiration of some write ups/articles etc they will be looking for errors.

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