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Mya Williams: My Extremely Painful Waxing Experience

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dreamstime_l_41978869In October last year, a very dear friend from university got married in Dubai and so a handful of us friends all went for the wedding. As I made a to-do list for the trip, I realised I was forgetting something critical if I was to enjoy the beach residence we were all staying at. I had to have that “area” taken care of. The sheer thought of writing down “get a bikini wax?” (Note the question mark), on the list sent shivers down my spine, as I remembered my first and only bikini waxing experience eight years ago.

That fateful day, my best friend came over to my flat saying how she needs to get her nails done. So we stroll down to the nail place on the high street and she sits down to get her nails done. It was a beauty parlour where you can get all sorts of beauty treatments done. My friend is an avid bikini waxer and gets the area “situation” every two weeks without fail; she had just gotten hers done the day before and was beguiling me with tales of how she felt so smooth and so fresh down there. Honestly, I should have just left it at “oh that’s nice” and focus my attention on the Cosmopolitan I was reading but no, I had to ask questions!

That was the beginning of the most painful experience of my life till date. The moment she found out I had never gotten a bikini wax, she did not let me live it down – “I cant believe you’ve never gotten a wax” “OMG so how do you keep that area tidy” erm, I use Veet hair removal cream for my bikini line, thank you very much! Either way, she wasn’t having it and insisted I try it. Curiosity eventually got the better of me, after she pointed out that she was having Shellac done and I had at least a 30-minute wait. She also LIED to me that it wasn’t painful at all – “after the first stab of pain, you don’t feel anything” – LIES!!!

So up I went to the waxing room and lay on the hospital-like bed, covered in crisp white sheets. The beauty technician proceeds to ask me if I wanted the Hollywood, Brazilian or Bikini line; when she saw the confused expression on my face, she explained:

Hollywood – ALL the hair comes off, ALL – the entire region is bare, only skin!

Brazilian – You can opt to leave a thin strip of hair down the middle – also referred to as a “landing strip”.

Bikini Line – As it suggests, the majority of your pubic hair is left in place except the part of your inner upper thighs that will be visible when you put on your bathing suit.

Believing my friends lie, I opted for and paid for the Brazillian, as I liked the sound of the landing strip. The technician prepping while I got changed, I told myself that it couldn’t be as bad; after all, I get my eyebrows waxed.
When she applied the first coat of wax on my inner thigh, I took a deep breath as the heat sank in but absolutely NOTHING could have prepared me for the pain that coursed through my body when she stripped off the piece of cloth from my skin. The pain was so aggressive but because I wasn’t expecting that level of pain, the shock didn’t let me cry out. I bolted up with my lips pursed tightly together and looked at the technician with my bulging eyes, as though asking her “ what did you just do to me?” She smiled this, it’s alright smile, as she patted the area of skin she had just savaged.
She moved on inward, closer to my vaginal lips and as she applied the wax again, I took another deep breath, silently congratulating myself for sucking it up the first time. As she stripped away the cloth this time, I couldn’t believe it could get worse. My scream pierced through the walls of the entire establishment, so much so that my friend and two nail technicians from downstairs came running to the waxing room. I was in full crying mode; complete with runny nose. By the time I looked down I was bleeding from my pores, small spots of blood from each and every pore that had just been stripped. I honestly cannot describe the pain to you; it was like a million knives stabbing me in that area at the same time. I just lay there cursing myself for allowing this to happen knowing fully well how non-existent my threshold for pain is.

My friend had the nerve to try to rationalise it, that it is because the area was a bit bushy and that the skin around the labia is especially sensitive.
You Think??!!!

Anyway, as I lay there motionless, still trying to recover from the throbbing pain in my pelvic area, I felt the technician starting to apply another coat of wax on the other side – short of insulting the life out of her that day. I asked her what the hell she was doing? She replied that she was continuing the procedure that she assumed I had recovered enough – just imagine this! She went on to explain further that I had paid for a Brazillian and that what I currently had was a “quarter bikini line”, so she wanted to complete the job. I lost it completely:
Me – Do you want to kill me, can’t you see that I am in excruciating pain? Can’t you see I am bleeding? *More tears*.
Her – I’m so sorry ma’am but I cant leave it like this.
Me – Why? Did I tell you I minded?
Her – It doesn’t look good ma’am and you’ve paid for a Brazillian
Me – As I limped off her hospital bed, “it’s okay, leave it like that, me I don’t mind, keep the change too, I don’t want it”

At this point, my friend who was done with her nails and had come to check on me was half laughing, half crying. I limped all the way home, leaning on my friend for support, while cursing her out. I popped 2 Ibuprofen and crawled into bed till the next morning. It was only in the stark light of day and after the pain had significantly subsided, that I could laugh at the “design” that was on my bikini area. I later walked (very gingerly) back to the beauty parlour to apologise profusely to the technician for my outburst (which my friend termed an understatement). She very graciously accepted my apology with a broad smile, and even offered to complete the job, I very quickly declined.

As for Dubai, I did get a wax but I only did a “Bikini line” and I popped the 2 Ibuprofen BEFORE the procedure.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

Mya Williams is a fiercely passionate and fun loving rebel/nonconformist. She loves to write in her free time. She emphatically believes that certain societal customs and norms must be challenged if one is to have a truly fulfilled and happy life.

36 Comments

  1. banana

    May 6, 2016 at 2:16 pm

    Never had one, never will.

  2. trudy

    May 6, 2016 at 2:22 pm

    I’m dying! lmao

  3. Ebere

    May 6, 2016 at 2:33 pm

    Hahaha, thanks for this bit of info, will do just fine with shaving. Never waxing

  4. sultana

    May 6, 2016 at 2:38 pm

    pele dear! I feel your pain even though i’ve not been thru it. i think it takes getting used to.

  5. Mizzy

    May 6, 2016 at 2:44 pm

    im dying of laughter n my colleagues are asking what it is dt im reading…… LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO @ d conversation she had with d lady “Why? Did I tell you I minded?”

  6. Angie

    May 6, 2016 at 2:55 pm

    Oh no! Sorry for your experience.
    Waxing down there is definitely painful. I don’t know why your friend lied to you.
    Anyway, I am team wax all the way. I even do it myself. The only thing I shave are my legs ( they just waste wax)

  7. MamaD

    May 6, 2016 at 3:01 pm

    I’m rolling with laughter such that my 6 month old baby is laughing with me. Lool.
    Water, soap and shaving stick have been my hit back to back. I don’t think I can stand the wax.

  8. pinopino

    May 6, 2016 at 3:03 pm

    This is hilarious, hehe.
    I will just stick to shaving then. I’m sure the Mohawk style I’m rocking down is way better than the waxed landing strip, lol . This article made my day.

  9. Mimi

    May 6, 2016 at 3:06 pm

    Pele. I’m team Hollywood wax. Every 3 weeks. It hurts less if you pop the pain killers about 30 mins before. And yea the first time is horrible!

  10. honey omo lekki

    May 6, 2016 at 3:10 pm

    I enjoyed the write-up.

    As interesting as the waxing sounds, i don’t think i will ever try it, Why oh why will i put myself through such pain when veet never finish for market.

  11. olu

    May 6, 2016 at 3:10 pm

    LOL
    Now….this is an interesting article …..forced me back into posting a comment.
    Not gender bashing!
    Brilliant!

  12. Tutu

    May 6, 2016 at 3:14 pm

    OMG! I’m laughing so hard!!!! The only area I’ve gotten waxed are my brows and the first time was so painful. I think I’ll just do laser when I’m ready or stick to my veet. Ain’t nobody got time for waxing that “area”. Lovely write up.

  13. Person

    May 6, 2016 at 3:17 pm

    LOL. Pele o! It’s not really bad to be honest 🙂

    When I lived in the Middle-East, I used to wax my whole body. HEAD to TOE. It was ridiculously cheap, in the privacy of my home and I used a lady using techniques that had been in her family for generations. They do sugaring, also called halaweh. Was it painful? Slightly, but not excruciating pain like you have described. The first rule is that you must exfoliate!!! So important. Second rule: the hair has to be a 1/4 of an inch long. Not shorter, not longer. Just enough for the wax/sugar to adhere to the hair. Too long and you have EXTREME pain. Too short, no hair comes out 🙁

    • Emen

      May 6, 2016 at 9:36 pm

      I do the sugar waxing too, for my legs, hands and “bum bum”… It leaves the skin soft and smooth and it lasts for a month.. I prepare the wax myself and carry out the procedure myself..

  14. Lola23

    May 6, 2016 at 4:02 pm

    My first waxing experience was just like yours, The woman left my vagina red raw and i didnt have another wax for 6 plus years . My work colleague went on and on about waxing , but the fear that was in me kaiiii, i refused to do it again . One day i decided to do some research and now i live by waxing . I can just stand in the mirror and admire my body for hours after a bomb wax. I normally get a hollywood wax , which is everything off and they wax your idi too.. future tips for new waxers 1) Pop some pills 2 hours before your wax 2) Avoid waxing near your menstrual date , you are extra sensitive to pain , making the wax more painful, 3) ex foliate and moisturise the area , dry skin usually comes off with the wax causing more pain 4) DO NOT and i repeat DO NOT have overgrown hair 5) Stick to waxing or shaving don’t flip between both 6) Try Sugaring or Hot Wax , they are proven to be less painful and Hot Wax doesn’t use any strips . Therefore you don’t have to worry about your skin coming off or bleeding . .. Happy Waxing 🙂

    • Jo!

      May 6, 2016 at 4:26 pm

      My love, one hot wax took off my skin ehn, I was bleeding so bad. It was the babe that did it sha, I’m sure, my usual babe wasn;’t around

  15. Jo!

    May 6, 2016 at 4:24 pm

    Why haven’t I ever heard this pop painkillers before the do tip before? I’ve been dying here

  16. Ajala & foodie

    May 6, 2016 at 4:32 pm

    I thought waxing was bad until I tried threading and this was not my situation area at all. Gosh that was the day I understood what “biting so hard until you taste blood” means. It was like the let loose some blood sucking demons on my face. I called my sister who had suggested it and yelled at her. She was just laughing. Never again will I try threading. That is a blood sucking procedure.

    • Miss_Flygerian

      May 6, 2016 at 5:30 pm

      Threading eyebrows? Tufiakwa mehn. Suffice it to say that the first time I had that procedure done was equally the last. Thankfully, my eyebrows grow in a natural arch so I just have to tweeze out a few stray hairs. I can’t shout biko.

  17. Tom

    May 6, 2016 at 4:44 pm

    LMAO!!!!! Thoroughly enjoyed your write up.

  18. Don't kill me

    May 6, 2016 at 4:50 pm

    God I fell off my chair twice lool interesting article as for me I did home waxing d first time d pain mehn, made me wax only one armpit left the other saying I no do again

  19. Becca

    May 6, 2016 at 5:08 pm

    I’ve been waxing for years – bikini & hollywood but never had the lips waxed. No need just shave them, that area doesn’t suffer from nicks & ingrown hairs.

  20. Primp Beautician

    May 6, 2016 at 5:24 pm

    I totally agree with Person and Lola23, probably cos I am a wax beautician. Waxing isn’t painless but shouldn’t be excruciating if pre and post-care takes place. Lola23 is a pro cos she’s got it the rules down pegged. As a rule, never accept to be stripe (or cloth) waxed on the bikini, face, and underarm areas, hot wax only. if you want to try your first experience for yourself or get your treatments in Lagos, holla at me.

    • NaijaPikin

      May 6, 2016 at 9:03 pm

      I don’t necessarily agree with not using strip in bikini area. I have used both hard wax (no strip required) and other wax (with strips). Found out hard wax wasn’t for me. Loads of ingrown hair cos of hair breakage. My last 2 wax beauticians advised against it. Strips work perfectly fine for me

    • Olekanma

      August 20, 2018 at 2:43 pm

      Do you still do home waxing?

  21. Dee-USA

    May 6, 2016 at 6:49 pm

    I’ve been getting waxed Hollywood style regularly since 2004. Never even tried the other two options first. Everyone has a different tolerance level to pain, so there’s no need to scare everyone off. If you were used to “chesting cane” through your secondary school days then this experience won’t be as dramatic.

    Having said that, I think it’s important to know that the first time will be more painful than subsequent visits. Your hair is coarse and stronger at this point, and therefore more difficult to uproot. This is why first-timers typically get the hard wax treatment (thicker wax pulled off by hand and not cloth.) If you maintain appointments after this (six weeks is ideal for non-fast hair growth) then your hair would be smoother and lighter to uproot. It is more advisable to use the soft wax (thin cloth placed over wax and then pulled) from this point on. I learned this from my regular wax lady after I realized the previous person was using hard wax on my skin, causing a few too any bumps from in-grown hair.

    Waxing may not be for everyone, but I can never not wax it all off. I’m actually contemplating going to laser soon. I’d recommend waxing over shaving (itching and lots of in-growth) or hair removal creams like Veet and Nair (serious itching.)

  22. Mabel

    May 6, 2016 at 6:50 pm

    I wax my legs at home by myself and I really don’t feel it. My sister’s think I am batsh*t crazy for waxing at all. I have never ventured to wax my little bits though, a close trim is enough for that area. Nobody could pay me enough to wax down there.

  23. Koffie

    May 6, 2016 at 7:02 pm

    First of all, I can’t imagine opening my hooha for another human being’s viewing pleasure. I just use veet/nair for that region but I must admit, the ingrown hair palaver is a biatch.
    I want to try waxing my legs and thighs and butt though. If my skin peels off in those areas, I can still manage but I literally clutched the vagina area of my trouser when I read that the writer’s skin peeled off in her ‘down there’.
    @ Primp Beautician, do you wax eyebrows? I need brow intervention so badly. Also, you didn’t put your email address or anything through which potential customers could contact you.

  24. yinx

    May 6, 2016 at 7:23 pm

    Lol! Why go through this when you can simply get laser hair removal? Waxing and shaving would just make the hairs thick + you’ll have ingrown hairs. I get my laser hair removal done at Laserderm clinics in Victoria Island. Still surprised people would go through this kind of pain. Na wa!

    • NaijaPikin

      May 7, 2016 at 9:29 am

      Laser is still a relatively new technology (under 20 years). Dem never sabi long term side effects. As I never born pikin yet, let me just hold off on laser jussssssssst in case.

      I just wish theres a permanent hair removal process. For now i’ll continue to thread brows, laser lip and chin, wax down low and underarms, epilate legs and thighs. Sigh!

    • Idomagirl

      May 8, 2016 at 5:18 pm

      I also read that the side effects of laser treatments for those of us with dark skin are worse.

  25. o

    May 6, 2016 at 8:09 pm

    I laughed so hard, the chicken bone I was devouring fell out my mouth…lolllzzzz. I started waxing my brows 2 years ago, was painful then and still painful now. I just always brace myself, but my brows are very thin and takes forever to grow so no biggie…I wax them every 3 months.

    As for my pits, and down below, I have never shaved nor waxed….I have nothing there. My pits Zilch! down below; just a few strands, totally negligible. Infact ppl don’t believe it when I say it until I show them my armpits. I guess I’m lucky. I jokingly say that its a miracle I have hair on my head sef..lol

  26. NaijaPikin

    May 6, 2016 at 8:59 pm

    If your friends waxes every 2 weeks she must be hairy as hell. The suggested period is between 4-6 weeks depending on your hair growth. That way you ensure there’s enough hair to wax and you don’t have hair breakage that leads to ingrown hair.

    Been waxing for like 14 years now. Yes it hurts but i think my body is used to the pain. Also started epilating ny legs (I hate hair so I’ll take the pain)

    Pointers
    – exfoliate!exfoliate!exfoliate! Can’t stress this enough. I have my loofa and scrub in my bath tub so I use daily.
    – Go to a professional waxing place. The type of wax used and the technique used has an effect on the pain level. Also you want to ensure they are observing best health practices. (No double dipping). A lot of the Asian nail places double dip.
    – The more consistent you are with waxing, the lesser the pain. Your hair grows back thinner (less coarse). Don’t be a summer only waxer. Cos the pain will feel brand new when you return next summer.

  27. Cynical

    May 6, 2016 at 10:24 pm

    ROTFL…..this article was hilarious. It really made my day. As for this waxing business,my problem will even be to go and lie down and expose my ‘cuntus’ to the beauty technician. I know how difficult it is for me to open for the doctors. For now o,its trusty hair removal cream to keep down below tidy.

  28. Bebabe

    May 7, 2016 at 8:05 pm

    Hahahahahaha…… You just put more fear in me as I am just about to book for the Brazillian. though I regularly wax my underarm and thread my brow but I heard that down under is a total different ball game. I think i’ll try the Biniki first and follow Lola23 tips (Thank you for the tips).

  29. Idomagirl

    May 8, 2016 at 5:19 pm

    I still consider threading to be more painful than waxing. Threading is like tiny electric shocks…

    First time I threaded my upper lip I saw stars.

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