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Mya Williams: This Is For You… Yes, You!



dreamstime_l_13528992This is for the ones that find they are constantly explaining, whose ideas and outlook on life are somewhat unconventional; not “traditional” or not what others expect. All you seem to do is anger the world because people just don’t feel like you are “allowed” to feel the way you do. They say “there must be a reason, why do you not want that OR why do you want that OR why doesn’t it bother you”. The rhetoric is endless; you just cannot win and it frustrates you, it annoys you. More than anything else, it is EXHAUSTING; you just want to live in peace with your choices. That should be okay, Right?

This is for the man who constantly has to explain that he doesn’t want to pop numerous bottles of champagne to fit in, and he’s not sorry about how you feel about his decision. He is happy buying drinks at the bar.

This is for the adult who doesn’t drink at all and has to field intrusive questions every Friday out on the town and every Saturday at a wedding as they enjoy their non-alcoholic drinks. Be placated because that eye roll isn’t about you, it is the person not understanding that YOU JUST DON’T DRINK and that is all there is to it.
This is for the woman who doesn’t want kids but God forbid she mentions this at the dinner party table. The responses such as “you are selfish”, “you are immature”, “you will change your mind”, “what if your parents didn’t have you” and so on aren’t about you. They are about someone not understanding that everyone cannot share the same outlook in life. Psst, stop trying to explain, just sip wine (if you drink, haha).

This is for the man or woman who likes nice things and CAN afford them. Don’t pay attention to those wondering “how” you are affording it, because based on their own assessment, it is not technically feasible. Hey, if it’s legitimate, enjoy it!

This is for the single woman who isn’t curled up in a corner belabouring the fact that she is not dating or not married but getting on with her life and thriving. Do not pay any mind to those asking why you are not worried; it is akin to them how in our society of today, you can genuinely be happy and content with your full life without killing yourself over the fact that you are yet to meet someone.

This is for the woman who does not want to get married. I know you constantly have to convince people you’re not just “saving face” and that you haven’t come to this decision because you cant find a man. Its not you, it’s them!
This is for the young unmarried man who still lives at home to cut costs and doesn’t intend to get a place until he’s getting married. You’re dealing with snickering from the women folk you date, talking about “why don’t you get your own place”. To the women snickering, like really? When he proposes and you’re planning a wedding, naturally where you both will live will come up. Till then, kindly hold your horses.

This is for the single or dating woman who isn’t married but wants to get her own apartment. Stop trying to make people see reason, most wont, in Nigeria anyway. They probably will still talk about you potentially being a slut and if not that, it’s how you’re going to chase away any potential man because you may come across too independent.

Girl, move in and furnish your apartment beautifully – inject some colour and consider a feature wall.
This is for the guy who drives a regular car. People keep asking when you are going to “upgrade”, concluding automatically that you possibly couldn’t be content, when in fact you genuinely couldn’t care less. Just a note to say, a huge number of girls are attracted to confidence, it’s not always about the cars.

This is for the married woman who isn’t taking her husband’s last name; if it’s cool with you and your husband, please drown out the noise from the world with Beyoncé’s “Sorry” on repeat. People would NEVER stop wondering, asking, judging, you just have to zone out.

This is for the pregnant woman who has chosen to give birth abroad and the world wont let you be. Mr. and Mrs. captain obvious even go as far as giving you a list of “excellent” hospitals in Nigeria, as though you had never heard of them. They reel off the financial consequences like they are your account managers. Thank them for their concern and book your flight; once your medical, accommodation and any miscellaneous costs have been accounted for, why even bother your cute little head with their opinion?

Finally, this is for the woman trying to conceive and seems to be surrounded by the world’s most insensitive human beings, who just do not know how to talk. Emotional intelligence is still lacking greatly in our society, as difficult as it may be sometimes, please ignore them and literally walk away. Be unrepentant about preserving your mind body and soul.

Now, this is for the world, CAN WE LIVE?

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

Mya Williams is a fiercely passionate and fun loving rebel/nonconformist. She loves to write in her free time. She emphatically believes that certain societal customs and norms must be challenged if one is to have a truly fulfilled and happy life.