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Cisi Eze: Letter to ‘Gals-Dem’ That Want Gender Equality

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Dear Folake,

(Sips cocktail) Ah! Sweetie, you need to have a taste of this cocktail I’m drinking! It is the tears of sexists, who cried because I told them I want a wife. (Laughs) Ordinary wife they are vexing. I didn’t know having ovaries meant I shouldn’t want a helper. Wives are helpers. Anyway, God has been faithful, gals-dem have been sending applications to be my wife. Babe, ask your other friends to apply. Move My Ministry (MMM).

Babe, you won’t believe my current location. Well, I’m writing from a place in Lagos and (screams like a deranged sociopath) oh my gwash! I just saw a unicorn prance over a mass of snow. IT WAS FARTING RAINBOWS!

Ehen, lately, I heard you have joined gals-dem that agitate for gender equality. Don’t you know getting equal treatment as men would wreck society? Any small thing, you guys will be saying, “Female oppression is the glue binding society.” As one gal I follow on Twitter, @NeNeEugene_, tweeted, “You need to perm your attitude. Relax.” Uh-hmm… Gals-dem need to perm their unruly attitude the same way they perm their beautiful afros.

You see, social institutions have scheduled how women should be in society. Men and women are different thus; they have different roles in the society. Why are you guys fighting for equality? You can never be equal to a man. Ah! This is where you say, “We are not trying to be equal to men. Men are not the yardstick of being human. We flatter men when we say we are trying to be equal to them. We only want a society where men and women have equal opportunities to make the best out of their lives. Giving your kids equal opportunities doesn’t mean you want them to compete for…” (Rolls eyes to Ibadan) Blah-di-da-di-da. Ruh- what? Rubbish!

Folake, I love you so much and I think you should drop this feminist attitude. What man wants to marry a woman that would be his superior? I know what you are thinking. In your mind, you’re saying, “Matrimony is not the validation of being human. Besides, only an insecure person would feel he/she is in a power tussle with anyone. Wanting equal treatment for everyone is not a competition. It’s only logical to treat everyone equally regardless of their creeds, sexes, and races.”

Anyway, you guys need to understand men are the leaders in society. Hope this is not the part where you start thinking along the lines of, “What makes men leaders; A part of their anatomy or their natural abilities?” Please, elaborate on this in your next letter.

Ah-ha! I recollect trying to give you reasons why women should accept their roles. All you said was, “These roles are mostly sociological, not biological. The only difference between men and women is the reproductive organs. (The) differences in brain structure vary from people to people, not from sex to sex. Research shows gay men have a slightly…” Whatevs!

You almost won me over to your side when you said, “People should be treated as people before being regarded as members of a certain social group/label.” With a sly grin, you asked, “Did we choose our sexes? Should anyone suffer prejudice, discrimination, and inequality based on something he/she did not choose?” I still do not have an answer.

One day, I will come up with an answer for you. Babe, I will ask around and get back to you. Is it not me? I will tell you why society should oppress people based on circumstances they did not choose.

But seriously, forget all this equality talk. Have you forgotten God made men first before women? Please, don’t ask how I know this brilliant fact. I read it from the scriptures written by people that watched the creation of humans. Okay, they did not watch the creation process, at least God whispered (explains how they, Israelites, were the ONLY society that heard the story) in their ears that he made Adam first. A snake LITERALLY walked and talked. I don’t even believe evolution, adaptation, and mutation. It’s a miracle Adam and Eve, two Middle-Easterners, mutated into four distinct races. Don’t tell me I sound illogical. Don’t tell me religion defiles logic. Don’t tell me religion supports racism and slavery, too. Last time, you had to quote Colossians 3:22 and Titus 2:9.  You even went on to say, “All forms of oppression are deeply rooted in religion.” Babe! I tire for you! If I ask you to stop questioning religion, you will say, “God gave me intellect, not religion. Religion emerged from man’s desire to understand the things in nature that exceeded the scope of his cognition. Science keeps unravelling…” Nne, durrh!

Folake, my dear friend! I’ve missed you! I can’t wait for you to write back! Hope you’re still in love with Tekno. When are you guys getting married? I can’t wait for BellaNaija to carry you guys’ wedding story. You can use chartreuse and burgundy. I still owe you a reply to that question. Be safe, sweetie! No find trouble. I hope you consider your feminist ways, though.

Cisi

P.S. Eh-hen! Do you remember that my neighbour I told you is in an abusive relationship; that one that her husband turned her skin to a canvas by painting her blue, black, and red? A snake just walked and talked to her o. It told her, “Some things are useful, not necessary. Gladly, those useful things have substitutes.” You should help me figure out this snake’s riddle. I remember you saying, “Genesis story is but an allegory. Why should we base female oppression on a myth, an allegory? (…) The snake in that story represents wisdom. This explains why religion is to logic what water is to oil (…)”  Maybe this snake here has said something wise. Babe, do and write back, joor! I miss you! I should definitely get us twin unicorns this New Year. Bye, lover! Mmwaah! (That’s a big kiss.)

Photo Credit: Mheim301165 | Dreamstime.com

Cisi Eze is a Lagos-based freelance journalist, writer, comic artist, and graphics designer. She feels strongly about LGBT+ rights, feminism, gender issues, and mental health, and this is expressed through her works on Bella Naija and her blog – Shades of Cisi. Aside these, she has works on Western Post NG, Kalahari Review, Holaafrica, Mounting the Moon, Gender IT, Outcast Magazine, Rustin Times, 14: An Anthology of Queer Art Volume 1 and 2, and Sweet Deluge (Issue 2). Her first book, published by Tamarind Hill Press, UK, is titled “Of Women, Edges, and Parks”. Cisi’s art challenges existing societal norms.

32 Comments

  1. Vee

    January 3, 2017 at 3:36 pm

    Title should be ‘Letter to Folake’,I think

  2. Xoxo

    January 3, 2017 at 3:51 pm

    What did I just read?? I’m really kinda confused..

    • A Real Nigerian

      January 3, 2017 at 4:02 pm

      “What did I just read??”
      Bad satire.

  3. Chief

    January 3, 2017 at 4:18 pm

    It’s biologically proven too but feminists are special snow flakes who think that’s just patriarchy giving magic strength to men that they are keeping away from women.That women are equal(on average) to men physically is probably the most baffling feminist contention.It’s proves conclusively they are bunch of fuckwits.

    Another idiotic feminism agenda is why men should kneel down to propose.kneeling down is definitely a symbol of surrender and also a symbol of giving up your power as a real man unto your woman.Standing face to face shows respect and honor in the context of integrity without sacrificing the inner strength needed to work together towards a common bond.

    This is a cultural aspect that i have always struggled to accept..I will advise my younger ones to propose to their wife with one knee,i wouldn’t ever and i just couldn’t.And even though i am very diligent on forming my sons as a true gentlemen.i feel inclined to discouraging them from doing so, rather i advised them to propose in the most comfortable manner possible.Kneeling down is a sign of submission and worship.Shouldn’t women descend to her knees to say yes to men?

    A man kneeling down during proposal was put on this younger generation heart and mind today out of no where.It came to me rather fiercely and viscerally which compelled to look into it.Any way whatever point y’all disgruntled feminists like to make about how men should do proposals is nonsense.

    • Someone

      January 3, 2017 at 6:36 pm

      Listen.That men are physically stronger is due to testosterone and nothing else.The x chromosome is even stronger than the y.So imagine one that has xx,hence a female embryo or foetus is more likely to get to term than a a male.This is just to tell you that physical strength should not amke men think they are superior.Remove the testes(its cells produce testosterone) and a becomes a vegetable.

    • someone

      January 3, 2017 at 9:23 pm

      *and a man*

    • Bimbo

      January 3, 2017 at 8:07 pm

      Equating brawn to supremacy is the dumbest thing iv ever heard from someone living in the 21 st century. You obviously are dumb as rocks.

  4. EE

    January 3, 2017 at 4:26 pm

    I don’t even know where to start. I’m not the sort to criticize without stating exactly where I disagree, but this is so terrible, its like you didn’t try at all.

    Maybe you should expose yourself to other side of the argument, reconsider certain beliefs you’re clutching like a medal.

    Your cocktail of tears was funny though.

    • EE

      January 3, 2017 at 5:08 pm

      Putting further thought into it, I’d like to ask a question. Are Human Beings equal?

      The sensible answer is clearly no. That is all there is to it. Human inequality is not about race or gender, hell even sexuality but about your perceived value to society. In short, you’re treated according to how much society values the things you can do.

      Second question, why is it that in all societies, no matter how “patriarchal”, there is always, has always and will always be powerful females. From gods to queens or just the local brothel madam? I mean why does “patriarchy” always do such a shoddy job oppressing all women?

      The sensible answer would be that patriarchy does not exist. Men died for Queens Elizabeth, Catherine, Amina e.t.c, then they’d go home and backhand their wives for serving dinner a minute late. Speaking of which, Queen Amina was a slave raider, Madam Tinubu was a slave trader, as in male and female slaves. Everyday millions of men worldwide get down on their knees and count beads, because a woman told them to. Japan, arguably the most male dominated society in the 21st century worships the female goddess Amaterasu. I’ve got tons, but this will do.

      Its rather simple, maybe rather than whining about how an invisible construct has it out for you, maybe look at how society treats the men who aren’t as educated, useful to ‘it’ as you are. The driver who hangs his head and apologises as you yell at him, because you employ him. The boy who helped you carry your market buys to your car for N100, the soldiers dying for you, sold lies of patriotism when they earn far less than you do, the man who clears your waste, who drains your soakaways, jobs you’d never touch in a million years because you’re too educated, valuable for that.

      Feminism is a hoax fighting a phantom which ironically is its own creation. There is no patriarchy keeping women down. What however exists, is a hierarchy keeping society stable. Within that pyramid, people cluster according their value to society. Y’all really think that if patriarchy existed, Madonna would be a multi-millionaire while soldiers can barely afford healthcare?? Come-off it, at a certain point naivety has to end.

      One day, the men with guns realised the truth and that was the day civilisation collapsed. The ending to one of my favourite poems puts it well:
      “If in some smothering dreams, you too could pace
      Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
      And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
      His hanging face, like a devil’s sick of sin;
      If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
      Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
      Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
      Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,—
      My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
      To children ardent for some desperate glory,
      The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est
      Pro patria mori.”

      But of course, patriarchy has sent hundreds of millions of men to die for their countries, because it loooooooveeees them so very much.

      Yes, yes, yes. Its too long, but humour me, a new year’s gift as it were.

    • Iya ibeji

      January 3, 2017 at 6:45 pm

      How can you look around you and say confidently that patriarchy is an invisible construct? Gender equality is about equal opportunities for both male and female, about women making their own choices rather than it being forced on them just because they are females. I know for sure that there are female soldiers, the disparity in number between them and their male counterparts is because for a long time society has told the woman that she can’t do certain things but as we can see WE are breaking out and choosing to paths.

    • AceOfSpades

      January 3, 2017 at 6:57 pm

      To be honest, I still get confused about feminism. On BN, it is almost always about relationships. Even the almighty Chimamanda was putting lots of relationship talks in it but when we point it out, females will ask us to go and read what it is ‘really’ about? Pray tell me what it is then.

      If I had a property and I give my daughter 40% and my son 60%, is that not a choice that I made? Like that is how I choose to share my property! I wouldn’t give my son 30% if he is the type to spend anyhow. I’d rather give my daughter is she’s frugal!

      When we were younger, if there was electrical fault. It has to be the guy that will fix it! If theives came around, it’s the guys that will be asked to pick sticks and stones to go out and fight. Does anyone remember the Titanic story? How many men survived? Women and Children were saved first and what about when there is war and people have to be evacuated, it would be women and children. The few women who ever led wars become great because it was/is something UNUSUAL!

      You claim inequality but we have people like Alakija (you think there weren’t Men who wanted that spot too but didn’t get it? Or you think qualifications got her the bloc?). Did I mention Okonjo Iweala, Dora Akunyili. You want to tell me there weren’t men who could have filled those positions yet it was given to them? Truth is some of you ladies are just lazy and want 5 star treatment because you have a hole. You forget all this men that dominate places went through hell to get there.

      Scientific composition of your body doesn’t even agree we are the same. Men are not superior to women but we are not the same. Before we say go now, some very low thinking females will want to pay to visit Chimamanda’s brain! *long hiss*

    • Anon

      January 3, 2017 at 7:38 pm

      @ace of spades we need feminism so Alakija, unlike her fellow male billionaires doesn’t have to tell us that she washes her husbands pant everyday. Or “how do you balance home and work”

      Also, so women don’t have to Bend over backwards when they earn more than their man. Also, so women won’t be picked on for leaving their messy marriages. So women won’t feel “lesser”” for being raped

      You people act like women didn’t have to protest for girls to go to school. Like women aren’t still stopped from going to school. Like 8 year old girls aren’t seen as wives instead of pupils. Like the Nigerian constitution doesn’t have a provision that permits a husband to beat his wife. Like there aren’t traditions stopping a woman from inheriting property. It is NOT illegal for a man to rape his wife, or to marry a 4 year old girl

    • Hypocrites

      January 3, 2017 at 11:56 pm

      So EE makes an intelligent comment; factual, sensible and logical, and she gets a few likes.
      Some other person will make a dumb, smelly comment with all the abusive words, insulting Nigerian men (which includes their sons, brothers and biological fathers), and they will get lots of likes in 10 minutes.
      I pity una.
      The only consolation is that many Nigerian girls are far more real than the average Bella Naija self-made, confused feminist.
      Great comment EE and Aceofspades.

    • EE

      January 4, 2017 at 2:19 am

      @Iya Ibeji. Most female soldiers are mostly in logistics. The vast majority of frontline soldiers are/have been and likely will always be men.

      Blaming it on what “women were told” is absurd.

      1. Women were considered more valuable back in the day, because they could make more soldiers. Men for lack of a better word were expendable, still are in many ways.

      2. Men were better soldiers through trial and error. You forget, our species is 200,000+ years old, settled civilisation is only 9,000+ years old. In those intervening years, it was truly survival of the fittest. There is a reason we’re the top of the food chain.

      3. Either patriarchy is an all consuming construct designed to put women down or it doesn’t exist. Fact is that the vast majority of men live absolutely miserable lives. They die younger and die more, they do the shittiest jobs. Diamonds aren’t a man’s best friend. Think of all the men who have died mining it, so either patriarchy does a really shitty job or it doesn’t exist. The only time women realise how terrible it can be for them is when the walls of anonymous men protecting them fall, when the barbarians are at the gate.

      Which is it?? Because feminism can’t try to have it both ways.

      As I said, society is hierarchical not patriarchal. The less valued your skills, the further down you find yourself, the more valued your skills, the further up.

    • EE

      January 4, 2017 at 2:54 am

      @Anon. Yeah bullshit.

      I’ll need proof for your assertions that they were protests for women to go to school. Everything you mention is due to poverty. Rich men didn’t/don’t need feminism to tell them to educate their daughters, poor people simply can’t afford to.

      “We need feminism so Alakija, unlike her fellow male billionaires doesn’t have to tell us that she washes her husbands pant everyday. Or “how do you balance home and work.”

      Ms Alakija does that because she wants to, she can well afford to hire a man to wash her husband’s undergarments, no?? Why did a patriarchal society like Nigeria even allow her that position?? Think of it this way, post the civil war, Nigeria reduced the worth of every Igbo to 20 pounds, why not do the same to women?? I mean its not like they’d beat us up.

      “Also, so women don’t have to Bend over backwards when they earn more than their man.”

      So you admit, that women do earn more than men, in our non-feminist society. Shocking! Pray tell, what exactly happens to a woman who refuses to bend over backwards?? Is she beaten? killed? Becomes a legal non-person? All 3 of these would have happened to a black person who didn’t bend over backwards to a white person at a certain point in our history, true oppression. A woman faces very little in comparison, a lot of things meet with societal disapproval, a man marrying an older woman, an Igbo marrying an Osu, inter-religious marriage, poverty e.t.c

      “Also, so women won’t be picked on for leaving their messy marriages.”

      Societal disapproval≠ oppression. Slaves were carted back to their masters and if they ran again, a part was cut off.

      “So women won’t feel “lesser”” for being raped”

      Yes, because raped men are sooooooo proud and forthcoming.

      “You people act like women didn’t have to protest for girls to go to school.”
      Yeah, proof, the suffragettes really struck you as uneducated? Simone de Beauvoir, if men had refused women education, there’d be no feminism. Ideology is a product of education.

      “Like women aren’t still stopped from going to school.”
      Yet step into the average Nigerian classroom and girls likely outnumber boys. Have you stopped to consider poverty as maybe the source of these problems?

      “Like 8 year old girls aren’t seen as wives instead of pupils.”
      Nigeria, well all the 8 year olds a married. Wait a minute!

      “Like the Nigerian constitution doesn’t have a provision that permits a husband to beat his wife.”
      Site the section, please. The Nigerian criminal act allows the state to kill its citizens, the constitution itself allows it to send them to die. The gender most affected by this, men. If that section does exist, then its abhorrent and should be removed like many parts of our constitution.

      “Like there aren’t traditions stopping a woman from inheriting property.”

      This property is stupid, inheritance is not a right. If a man’s will gives 100% to his daughters, wife or cat, that is his business. If a man knowing fully well his tradition does not create a will, then we can assume he didn’t want his daughters to inherit. That is also his business. This inheritance agitation is nothing more than thinly veiled expropriation.

      “It is NOT illegal for a man to rape his wife”

      Its only unfair if its illegal for a woman to rape her husband. Otherwise its merely inadequate law-making, easily rectified.

      “or to marry a 4 year old girl”

      That’s just sloppy arguing, you based your entire arguments on appeals to emotion, FYI, its NOT illegal to marry a ghost, to spend your life walking backwards e.t.c. The absence of something in law does not connote oppression and again, its only unfair to women, if they are prevented from marrying 4 year old boys. Just so you know, in some Igbo villages where women “marry” women to allow a name not to die out. Its often older RICHER women buying much, much!! younger poorer women.

      When in doubt look to poverty as the cause, not feminism’s imaginary enemy.

    • Hypocrites

      January 4, 2017 at 9:28 am

      So where are those BN feminists? Engoz? Nahum (who appears unable to complete a comment without calling others ‘stupid’, ‘foolish’, ‘rubbish’, or some other swear word)? Where are you guys? Kindly file out and respond to these comments by EE.
      EE’s comments challenge and dispute everything you stand for as a feminist. So it’s only proper that you react. But if what you’ll spill is still same abusive words with no factual basis, please don’t make any comment. I know it’s your right to write anything but please save me the headache. Yes, those empty, rude comments give me headache. They make me feel like the maker is someone I should never have had a conversation with in real life.
      And about the Nigerian constitution having a provision that permits a husband to beat his wife, dear EE, don’t ask for the section. There’s no such provision, there has never been.

    • Iya ibeji

      January 4, 2017 at 10:02 am

      I honestly believe that there is nothing I write that will change your ideas about female rights but I will try. I agree that society is hierarchical but what/who determines the hierarchy? Patriarchy/men. If this hierarchy you so blame for all society’s problems is oppressive to women, why do you find it difficult to understand the drive to change the hierarchical structure? I will use the case of the rich and poor which you mentioned in your comments…its because the odds work against the poor just like females thats why the poor sometimes rise against the rich because they are oppressed. Why do a large number of Nigerians feel disgusted by our politicians…because they represent the face of our oppressors. My point is I agree that currently human beings are not equal but fight to be equal and I think that’s exactly what female rights are about. The aim is to end/bridge the disparity between between groups for a better society in the long run. Just because one is poor or female does not make one inferior to the rich or male. Economics talks so much about bridging the gap between the poor and rich to achieve development, why is it so hard to see that access to equal opportunities for women and men is the way forward for society.
      You mentioned that skill set is what makes a person valuable to society and implied that men have more valuable skill set and are therefore more valuable than women. This is the simple ideology that we are trying to change. One gender is not better or more valuable than the other. A person is just a person and should be judged based on that and not on a generalised notion. You can read up on materialist eco-feminism to understand better the significant role of the informal economy(largely made up by women) in the formal economy which is largely made up by men.
      My point is let’s change the current hierarchical structure in our society that oppresses the poor, male, female, albinos ….in simple terms no human being should be oppressed by another.

      1
    • The Real Oma

      January 3, 2017 at 8:26 pm

      @Aceof Spades, i was actually reading your comment thoughtfully until i got to the last paragraph. That’s a serious gaffe – feminism is never about sameness but about equality, i thought that much has always been clear. I mean, how can anyone claim men and women are the same?

      1
    • AceOfSpades

      January 3, 2017 at 11:13 pm

      @The Real Oma you read me wrong! I don’t want to talk about relationships concerning feminism here. I saw someone already talking about washing and bending over blah blah….no. If you want to die for your husband or not it’s your choice and has nothing to do with feminism. Even women don’t agree with themselves on that part of feminism if it exists!

      The same that I mean is relative to roles. Roles will be different always. Women here talk about paying bills at home and they are holding on to it! If you really believe in equality, you wouldn’t be saying it. You believe it’s the man’s role to do that so when you do it, it feels unusual and then it becomes a point you hold on to. Why don’t you talk about how you get children prepared for school! That would sound off right? It sounds Alpha to talk about you paying the bills tho, does that not tell you that we aren’t the same?

  5. Nitomeya

    January 3, 2017 at 4:34 pm

    Cisi I am let down by this article, maybe next time you will do a better job. This one was all over the place, apart from the questions relating to the creation of man (Logical questions which can’t be answered by faith and religion) I don’t know what the rest was about.

    In all, I like the way you write as it is different and thought provoking. Please do better next time.

  6. Anon

    January 3, 2017 at 7:45 pm

    @ace of spades, also, who are these “low thinking females” you refer to. I’ve been on this blog for years. All feminists do is assert their rights, then the. Non feminists gaslight them, exaggerate their comments and tease their reactions. Is it a bad thing that a woman is angry that a fellow woman is in an abusive relationship? Or that she’s not seen as anything beyond marriage material (or the lack) Or that she HAS to bend over backward i.e. Be meek and humble and must cook to be worthy of marriage. Or that it’s easier to sue buhari to court than to get justice for rape, even in your own office. Or that when you have only daughters, people tell you “ayea”. Or that you’re expected to manage your husbands adultery and abuse, as death is better than divorce. Expecting women to explain why they want equal rights in an obviously masochist and patriarchal country shows that you don’t want answers. You just wrote that long comment (like EE does) to act like you care but tell us that Feminsm is stupid.

    1
  7. Cindy

    January 3, 2017 at 9:23 pm

    The write up is so terrible that I don’t even know what side the writer is on. I’m more confused than I was when the day started.

  8. Moniker

    January 3, 2017 at 11:57 pm

    It’s early in the year, BN with their ever divisive posts. This gender thing isn’t a competition. Live and let live. The real people that need this change are in the rural communities. Not educated but faceless fighters.

  9. Derin87

    January 4, 2017 at 1:48 am

    The whole feminist thing confuses me as well, especially when people start to shout ‘gender equality’, like! Can we just focus on women’s rights, that makes more sense to me

    • Derin87

      January 4, 2017 at 1:51 am

      I mean, I get that gender equality should be equal rights, but when people start to link it with relationships, they lose the plot

    • Anonymous

      January 4, 2017 at 2:26 am

      Of course BN commenters will and should talk about relationships when discussing feminism. Relationships are extremely defining of people , especially in African society. Perhaps relationships are where middle-upper class women face the most inequality i.e. Pressure to marry, Rape, bullying from inlaws, being expected to tolerate adultery and abuse etc. You people should stop acting like you don’t know what people are talking about abeg. If we were Pakistani women or women from northern Nigeria or any village where women aren’t expected to go to school, we’d be talking about education. Most BN commenters are probably in the early 20s to late 30s. Same BN feminists also discuss child abuse, child’s marriage etc when it comes up.

      See eh, if you don’t support feminism, say it with your chest “I don’t support gender equality”. Because trying to find analytical reasons to demean the movement that gave women the rights to vote, be educated, and know their rights with rape, is weird. Really weird. It’s 2017 when it’s time to split the bills, but it’s unnatural and unafrican when it’s time to let women assert their rights (rights they were legally excluded from for years).

    • EE

      January 4, 2017 at 3:05 am

      Equal rights is a fantasy, Outcomes are determined by the relationships and resources you have. all over the world, even in feminist paradise Sweden, this holds.

      Two people commit a murder, who do you think gets off easier?

      The rich man with the best lawyers money can buy, the ability to make a discrete donation to a politician’s upcoming campaign, probably him or his children roll in the same circles as the judge or the poor guy with the overworked State’s attorney representing him?

      Conversely, the tiny feminine probably good-looking woman gets less jail every-time over the hulking brute of a man. If parents can’t love their children equally, then how can equality exist?

      All we can try do is reduce barriers, not pretend they don’t exist. A small loud minority in Nigeria really wants us to fritter away the 21st century arguing over ideological inanities when we can focus on the simple task of creating a richer economy.

      The Chinese didn’t need to argue about feminism to make some of the 21st century’s most liberated, rich and well educated women, they just got rich.

  10. Bowl

    January 4, 2017 at 3:16 am

    The woman , is a mystery(big mistery) .Created later, but , the stronger and better resourceful of the two sexes.Feminism is a natural force. Whether by noise or silence , it will continue to evolve and get to a deafening peak . The world won’t know what hit it.

  11. Bowl

    January 4, 2017 at 3:32 am

    There is even no need for a feminism movement or the clamor for equality. It is the age( time) of the woman . Feminism tends to be noisy and men do not like noise. Silently ,like a birth process , it will naturally achieve its ends. What was the world thinking when it payed more attention to the upbringing of the female child( not referring to formal education).This upbringing stroked the embers of a latent force put in place by her maker. Thus, even they (women)who are against feminism ,do not even know they are ardent followers. Like I said earlier, the world won’t know what hit it !

  12. Omolegho

    January 4, 2017 at 12:28 pm

    I really don’t know why people found this confusing. It’s satire. I get the message she was passing across, all these people fighting against feminism don’t even know what it is about. It’s sad really to read some of the comments, though it seems intelligent but am convinced some people just want to argue for arguing sake. If you truly know that feminism is all about equal rights for every human, equal opportunities for both male and female economically, socially, etc.. You will just calm down. I hate it when people act like feminism is about women wanting to be the same as men, I mean how now? No two women are the same sef, no two human can be the same but all human beings should have equal rights, no one should be restricted, degraded or demeaned just because of their gender. You can close your eyes and act like you truly don’t see the néed for this cause, it’s alright. I read a comment that kept talking about how the rich oppress the poor and blah blah, please don’t mix it up. Am sure we can agree that there are so many things wrong with the world and Nigeria but right now we are talking about equal rights for all. Can we focus on that please? I tire o

  13. EE

    January 4, 2017 at 4:16 pm

    @Iya ibeji I feel we are literally this close “…….” to a meeting of minds.

    “I honestly believe that there is nothing I write that will change your ideas about female rights but I will try.

    You’re right, that is because, women have rights. Last I checked, women can vote, are legally entitled to their income, can own property e.t.c. You have rights, do you not??? Slaves were legal non-persons, women, 21st century women aren’t.

    “I agree that society is hierarchical but what/who determines the hierarchy? Patriarchy/men.”

    Nope, society does, if men determined hierarchy, there’d be no women on top. The route to power in society is control of capital, property, ownership of labour e.t.c right. Are women blocked from the above?? The same society that makes Tiwa Savage a millionaire is also the same one that consigns the female petty trader to poverty. Its unfair, but it is just how it is, you can’t control what society deems valuable, well you can but, it isn’t advisable. If a Nigerian woman cures AIDS tomorrow, do you think men will beat her, claim her inventions or will she become rich powerful e.t.c??

    “If this hierarchy you so blame for all society’s problems is oppressive to women, why do you find it difficult to understand the drive to change the hierarchical structure?”

    Because flattening hierarchy is impossible, the communists tried it, didn’t work. Worse society as presently structured guarantees the best outcomes for women. Right now, for example I’m taking time out to contribute to a female owned site. Right, my eyeballs in turn earns her money, making her richer and thus more powerful than I, somewhere there is a lady on Facebook doing same to a male-owned company. That is how hierarchy builds, people making conscious choices based on their likes and dislikes.

    “I will use the case of the rich and poor which you mentioned in your comments…its because the odds work against the poor just like females thats why the poor sometimes rise against the rich because they are oppressed.”

    People usually revolt under the most dire circumstances, starvation, slavery. Women aren’t facing that. Further, note that its the poor, male and female vs the rich, male and female. Power knows no gender. When the revolutionaries storm the gates, the Marie Antoinettes die, same as the Louises.

    “Why do a large number of Nigerians feel disgusted by our politicians…because they represent the face of our oppressors. My point is I agree that currently human beings are not equal but fight to be equal and I think that’s exactly what female rights are about.”

    Human beings also fight over our interpretations of God, we fought for communism, we fought for slavery, we fought to overthrow white masters only to have black ones take their place. Point is, we always fight for the impossible and non-existent.

    “The aim is to end/bridge the disparity between between groups for a better society in the long run. Just because one is poor or female does not make one inferior to the rich or male.”

    Actually it does, you can’t compare the Oxford educated daughter of a Nigerian rich man to the Aje pako conductor living in Mushin. You can’t end disparity, except you want to kill everybody, its literally impossible. Humans always want the best for their relations, they put all their resources towards that. The richer your parents were, the more likely you are to have a better life. Male or female.

    “Economics talks so much about bridging the gap between the poor and rich to achieve development, why is it so hard to see that access to equal opportunities for women and men is the way forward for society.”

    Certain things can be made equal. You can make education open to all, as is already in Nigeria. You can’t stop the rich hiring tutors and sending their children to private school, you can make health open to all, again already existing in Nigeria, you can’t prevent the rich seeking better health-care. Equality is simply an impossibility, philosophically, logically, physically. All you can do is try and remove overt barriers, Nigeria does this. As all the high-earning women we have prove. Economics tries to create a rising tide, not flatten the curve.

    “You mentioned that skill set is what makes a person valuable to society and implied that men have more valuable skill set and are therefore more valuable than women.”

    I stated that you’re likely to find more men in valuable fields. That is simply fact, meritocracy at work. Men and Women write their SATs, JAMB, GCE e.t.c, without a quota, more men will cluster at the top and the bottom, that’s just how the IQ curves pan out. Thus you find more men in the sciences, sciences end up being more valuable than the arts. This however is not discrimination, the women in these fields earn more than men outside of it. A female doctor earns more than a historian, Sheryl Sandberg earns more a male English teacher, e.t.c. How many Fortune 500s were founded by women?? 0?? Conversely women are more likely to own sucessful small businesses than men. Men tend to be either exceptional or useless, average women are smarter and more successful than average men. Its just our differences, not oppression.

    “This is the simple ideology that we are trying to change. One gender is not better or more valuable than the other.”

    I disagree, women are more valuable than men. Without you guys, our species cease to exist. I like women, I just don’t like feminism, it strikes me as stupid and ideologically virulent.

    “You can read up on materialist eco-feminism to understand better the significant role of the informal economy(largely made up by women) in the formal economy which is largely made up by men.”

    *Pause* Aren’t you guys the ones that want us to stop drilling oil, because the phallic drill penetrating Mother Nature is triggering??? Bad joke aside, I did acknowledge the importance of women in the economy at large. My point is mostly that feminism sets undue expectations that can only be met by disastrous social engineering. Women aren’t going to be represented 50-50 in every field and that is just fine, as long as society itself progresses. We ought not encourage violent competition within in-groups, “ape no kill ape”-Caesar. Feminism is clearly Koba in this context. Please tell me you’ve seen Planet of Apes, or that likely won’t make much sense.

    You’re very idealistic, good, but try not to break the wheel. It s what causes our progress.

  14. That-I-May-Fly

    January 5, 2017 at 2:11 pm

    Tongue in cheek…

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