Why do some of ladies seek validation everywhere else other than within ourselves? Why do you need someone to tell you, you’re good enough, you’re beautiful, smart or worthy. If you don’t begin to tell yourself these things, no one else will.
Some women complain that their partners/husbands don’t love them anymore; he doesn’t show affection, he doesn’t say she’s beautiful; he’s cheating. Some women say that they have done various things to change themselves so they can be more desirable.
Before one of my friends got married, in the looks department she was a 9/10. I used to tell her that if I had the figure she had, or her legs, I would cause major problems in the world. Now, she marries this man and the next time I see her, it felt like I was looking at a totally different person. She had put on a lot of weight, and was on anti-depressants. Nothing I said to her mattered or made any sense.
I don’t know if it’s the institution of marriage that does this to people or the partner you marry, as it just seemed like I was dealing with a total zombie. The man she married used to spread rose petals on the floor she walked on, but now he couldn’t stand her. He would beat her, and verbally abuse her. On top of that, they had to move out of town – because of his work. She couldn’t get a job out there because it was in a desolate part of town. The anti-depressants contributed to her weight gain and mood swings, so of course the downward spiral of her mental state was inevitable.
I made it a project to help her out of her depression, but who was I fooling? The fight was hers not mine. The drivers of the ability to begin her healing lay in her hands and her hands only. She needed to work on her mind, take charge of her body and get back to where she used to be.
Your happiness lies in your hands, your beauty, your confidence your outlook and zest for life is all on you. If you’ve gained a few pounds, start working out. If you lack motivation join a boot camp or enlist a buddy to work out with.
If you have the money, get liposuction, have a facelift, Brazilian butt lift – do whatever you can that makes you happy period. Just never wait for anyone to validate you, if you do, you’re always going to need to be reassured, you’re always going to need to be encouraged.
Make yourself a priority, nurture a relationship with yourself and start small challenges with a goal to build up the momentum you need for a bigger change. Sometimes, we trust other people more than ourselves, accepting another person’s opinions and views as more valid than our own.
Somehow, we think they know what’s better for us than we do – or we’ve been told that so often, that we’ve come to believe it.
When someone you count on for support refuses to acknowledge your positive qualities and abilities, it can undermine your self-esteem and confidence, thereby keeping a person needy and dependant.
You must assume responsibility for the circumstances in which you find yourself if you wish to change them. If your mind is suffering, it will have a knock-on effect on everything around you. Many events in life happen to us, which we have no control of, but our only control is our response to life’s situations.
Having said that ladies, let this year be a year of YOU taking charge of YOU and looking after YOU.