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Onyinyechi Njoku: Here Are A Few Things Nobody Told You About Pregnancy

Onyinyechi Njoku

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So when we were growing up, it was always great news to hear that Aunty Ola or Aunty Seun had a baby. Being the first born in my own family, I saw my mum have five kids after me – although, I was only fully aware of three or four of them. So I can say I have had a front seat view of the pregnancy process, so I always thought “How hard can it be?” I’m going to shoot those babies out like a gum ball machine. Piece of cake.
Now here’s the thing, nobody prepares you for the realities of being pregnant. After all, women have been doing this forever, so it’s expected that as an African girl with child bearing hips, you should rise to the occasion with all tenacity. Our mums, grandmas and aunts tell us that pregnancy is a beautiful experience…’ashi ashi!’ as my people would say. LIES!

See, I am not here to scare anyone, but pregnancy is not fun. There, I said it. I have had a lot of people try to hush me when I say this – claiming that I’m being ungrateful! But, hey when we ladies gather in our secret places, we spill, we all agree that pregnancy is haaaaaarrrd work. As soon as you do the urine test and see those two crimson lies, you are to expect these and more:

Get ready for the waterworks down below
In other words (you go piss tire!) You laugh oh, you pee a little; you cough, you pee a little; you work out, you pee…I mean, any form of exertion makes you pee. Before the day is over you can go like 32 times. I was one of those women who could never pee outside, but one day in my seventh month, I went out with the hubs, there was no bathroom in sight, I just had to go. I took hubby along so he could cover me. We went to the back of our car and I did it under the beautiful Nigerian sun and it felt good.

Sex may become a chore
If you are the type who loves to get freaky between the sheets, please do not be disappointed if your libido wanes. For some reason you can’t even get wet. Hubby will whip out all the tricks in his box, yet my “wetin call” will be there staring at him, as dry as ever, like you are trying to draw water from a rock. It’s frustrating, I tell you; and when your belly is a lot bigger, heaving the extra weight around mid-coitus isn’t fun either. So all these people who say that pregnancy sex is the bomb, please share some of your tips, because my “huuhaa” didn’t get that memo. Key me into your “rhea”.

Sound sleep will become a luxury
So my fave sleeping position is to lie on my belly. Of course, you can’t sleep like that when your belly gets bigger, and these doctors’ advise that you should sleep on your left side, which gets pretty uncomfortable after a while. Coupled with your having to visit the bathroom 9 times before daybreak. It’s no wonder you can’t get some decent shut eye. Even when you do get to sleep, your snoring will probably wake the whole house. Hubby had to leave the room for me a number of times.

Your looks may take a nosedive(literally)
One of my fave features on my face is my nose. I love my nose; so, imagine my horror when 7 months down the line I couldn’t recognise this pretty part of me. The thing swelled to almost double its size. In fact I`m yet to see any woman who has escaped the preggy-nose syndrome. Then, I had hyper-pigmentation. My legs got swollen. Mine wasn’t so bad anyway. My cousin had to deal with skin issues, huge pimples on her face, even inside her ears. I have seen women have serious eczema. A friend of mine had to deal with huge, dark varicose veins on her limbs.

You may get depressed
I hear about post-natal depression a lot, but no one seems to talk about what happens to your mind while you are still pregnant. I was heading toward depression when I was pregnant with my first child. I hated looking at the mirror because I didn’t like what I saw. It was also frustrating when the shirt I wore 2 weeks ago wouldn’t button and I had nothing cute to wear. I had serious morning sickness, so I couldn’t keep any food down.
I am a very active person so when pregnancy slowed me down I felt helpless. One warning: don’t ever Google your observations. When you feel something is off just go to your Ob/Gyn, because Google will send you to your death with their suggestions of ectopic pregnancy, eclampsia and other scary stuff. It’s great that we have the extended family system down here, the support can be really helpful. I had relations come around to take my mind off things when hubby wasn’t available.

You will hear a lot of unsolicited, weird advice
I loved coke when I was pregnant with my first. You know coke that is “mortuary standard”. Cold with a little ice in it. So I was drinking coke straight from the bottle, then this women told me, “my dear you shouldn’t be drinking from the bottle or your cervix won’t open at delivery, use a cup”. Chineke! How? What is the relationship between the bottle, my mouth and my cervix? Just Negodu! Then another told me not to cross my legs that baby will come out bow-legged. Don’t eat Okra soup or snails, so that your baby won’t drool a lot, and these are two of my favorite things. Then when I passed my de date, stop drinking cold water, do my exercise you have allowed the baby to relax. Some old lady even suggested I drink gin to shake the baby up a bit.

I could go on and o. The craziness is limitless; but after all said and done, when the doctors put that little piece of heaven in your arms. It’s all worth it at the end. That’s why afterwards we go back and do it all over again.
I swear women with plenty children dey try shaa. It also annoys the hell out of me when I hear that a pregnant woman was physically abused. Pregnancy is hard enough, as it is. How can you add to her stress?
Don`t mind me if I have in any way discouraged you. It’s all for fun. If it’s that bad, I won`t be looking to do a third journey, “see my mouth na”.

There are some perks though. Nigerians become really nice when they see a pregnant woman. You are allowed to not wait your turn at queues. You get lifts from nice people. You get discounts in the market as well. Oh, and your boobs get huge too! So if you are pregnant, keep your eyes on the prize. Enjoy the ride and have a safe delivery.

If you are looking to conceive get ready for the time of your life, because it will happen and don`t say I didn`t warn you.

So, comment and rant on what you dislike about being pregnant.

Photo Credit: Photowitch | Dreamstime.com

My name is Onyinye Njoku, A wife, mum and an accountant. So when I`m not bending over spreadsheets or catering to my family I`m listening to the random voices in my head and writing down what they say to me. I also have a terrible sweet tooth. ☺

59 Comments

  1. T

    January 12, 2017 at 9:53 pm

    I was just full of smiles reading this cos am experiencing every one of them especially snoring at night. My hubby practically has to leave the room for me and the peeing is just out of this world. But all in all I think am enjoying my pregnancy.

    1
    • Uberhaute looks

      January 13, 2017 at 12:29 am

      The only moment I liked most was the first time the baby kicked!
      1. Heartburn
      2. Nausea
      3. Edema
      4. Cyst
      5. Threatened abortion
      6. Waddling
      7. Urine and blood tests
      8. Pigmentation
      9. And many other crazy stuffs.

      When I had my baby, breast feeding was so stressful for me… I just hate it..It felt so weird and strange and even now, Had a very painful cs and I don’t think I can ever forget the experience.
      I’m kinda reluctant cos @32 weeks, i was already tired of the load but, I’m grateful to God for a super active, healthy and beautiful baby.

    • Onyinyechi Njoku

      Onyinyechi Njoku

      January 13, 2017 at 11:45 am

      So glad I made you smile, and that’s the spirit, enjoy the ride and keep your eyes on the prize.

  2. Annabelle

    January 12, 2017 at 10:13 pm

    ‘Ty Onyi,nice article if i may say,though am nt married or a mother,i was with one of ma aunt during her pregnancy,her case was that of reverse,she hated beans with a passion but the instant she took in,we ate beans [email protected] first it was funny to me bt wit tym it got tiring,imagyn everyday beans!d most annoying part,she cudnt stand d smell of anyoda [email protected] particular tym,so we(ha husband n I) had no choice bt to stick wit beans until she passd dat phase

    • Onyinyechi Njoku

      Onyinyechi Njoku

      January 13, 2017 at 11:46 am

      Lol, I can imagine, I don`t really have those cravings, anything goes, I just stuff myself.

  3. Anon

    January 12, 2017 at 10:23 pm

    I’m currently 12 weeks pregnant and it looks like I’m 6months pregnant cos I’m expecting twins. That peeing every minute thing no be lie. I had a bad cough from weeks 6 to 10 and I refused to take any drugs for it cos i did not want to harm my babies. My BN people, I suffered in those 4weeks. Any small movement has urine trickling down my legs. I had to practically live in the toilet, take my bath over 10times daily and of course couldn’t wear pants. On two occasions, I woke up to find out I had bedwetted because I was coughing while sleeping and leaking urine while coughing. Thank God for hubby, he jejely took the mattress out and cleaned me up. On that sex issue, no go there o. My juices are flowing like a tap. If i had my way, na everyday we go dey do but hubby is scared of pressing my belly and he doesn’t want to come from behind because he says he doesn’t want to scare the babies with his something *Rme*.
    How come you dint talk about the hunger? That is the worst part. I was a one meal per day person before pregnancy but now I eat every two hours. My bag is packed full when I’m going to work. All manner of fruits and nuts and of course food and before office close by 5pm, my body don dey shake. The tiredness nko? It’s on another level. Weight gain nko? I weighed 68kg before pregnancy. After 12weeks, I’m weighing 79kg. I dont don’t know how to go about that one. My noobs feels like blocks on my chest. Wearing bras irritate my breasts and hurts my chest but wetin I go do? I gasts wear bra na. I remove it once I’m inside the car tho. Mi o le wa ku. Best thing so far is my skin. So fresh, So clean, So supple, no pimples, no acne. This is the freshest my skin has been since i was a teenager and I pray it continues that way. If you are a First time mother, join nairaland pregnancy group. You will learn a lot. Also,try to have the Babycenter app on your phone. It really helps. As much as you can,besides registering for antenatal in your HMO, Also register in a govt hospital, especially the maternity ones and attend ANC classes there. You will learn a lot.

    • kilipot

      January 13, 2017 at 4:19 am

      Please and please (for emphasis). Biko. Try and wear bra o. You possibly need a new size or ones without under wire. I also didn’t like wearing bra. Took them off while In the car and was fully naked at home. You may not like what they become after pregnancy. I’m just 2 months post pregnancy and Olympus has fallen.

    • Onyinyechi Njoku

      Onyinyechi Njoku

      January 13, 2017 at 11:50 am

      My sister if we begin talk everything, na thesis oh…Oh my Gosh! the hunger is on another level, I took cereal one sunday morning, only for me to get to church and start shaking, it wasn’t even offering time yet, as far as I was concerned the preist was talking to himself, my body was screaming for food, literally, I kuku left to go get something to eat, I couldn’t just endure

    • Biz

      February 16, 2017 at 3:57 pm

      OMG!!!!!….I didn’t think the shaking thing was connected to pregnancy sha, thank you for this piece. I tried going to church one sunday without the food, my sister, the headache that followed me home ehn, never again!! I am currently 14 weeks and before preggy, my first meal of the day was usually between 11am and 12am, but now, as early as 6.30am, bfast is served and eaten!!! the backpain nko……not for jokes o!!

    • ThatGhanaChick

      January 13, 2017 at 1:35 pm

      I laughed so hard at the bra part. My dear I woke up this morning with my left leg stiff as ice! all because i have been sleeping on that side through out Kai! you forgot to mention the muscle pulls that wake you up at night? smh come and see me wailing like a baby 3 days ago, I just couldn’t help myself, before i got pregnant i had never experienced a muscle pull ever. For me I am unable to eat and I haven’t gained even up to 7kg in this 28 weeks. I have no cravings (except for pringles every now and then). My feet will swell if I don’t elevate them, I mean this journey has a mind of its own. I thank God all the same. Abeg let me go and pee as it is pressing me wella. brb

    • ulumma

      January 14, 2017 at 7:45 am

      Ahhhhh the muscle pull is so annoying. I had to hit my husband so hard one night as he didn’t hear me screaming right beside him. The screaming only took my mind off the coast excruciating pain. It a lot of massaging and toe stretching to stop the pain.

    • Mumof3

      January 13, 2017 at 3:56 pm

      This hunger thing many women talk of I have never experienced it. This is my 3rd baby and during pregnancy one meal a day is enough for me. I also lack cravings but love water and drink lots during pregnancy.

      On another note how do women cope with questions from people like when are you having a boy? Awww sorry you don’t have a boy etc. I’m on my 3rd girl. It makes me feel low a time times when people say such things because I have never felt anyway about having girls. I just wanted healthy children.

      1
  4. Selina

    January 12, 2017 at 10:28 pm

    I concur. I did experience some of those “blessings” if l am allowed to call them that but not all. My face wasn’t puffy nor my legs swollen. Truly when my babies came, I fell in love with them instantly.

  5. Lala

    January 12, 2017 at 10:33 pm

    Chai, nne, you finished this matter. I am pregnant now and l feel like my life was disrupted. I stopped work (even though I am self employed) I was slightly depressed for most of the first 3 months and my mouth was severely bitter. One good thing is that I have only vomited twice. I have some weeks to go and yet everyday I keep saying, God, let this thing be done and dusted for good, I don tire.

    I am an extremely active person but because I got to my mid thirties before be coming pregnant, I chose to put business and anything major aside as I can’t risk adding stress to this pregnancy. Mehn, the baby’s kicking is not a small something. Plus in this abroad,there’s little or no help.

    Every woman who works whilst pregnant, I salute you although pregnancy is effortless for some women. Let us never compare ourselves with others as no 2 women’s pregnancies are the same.

    Finally, to every woman who has carried a pregnancy and lost the baby especially after 9 months, may God Himself comfort you and recompense you according to your heats desire. After all the pain and stress and anxiety and depression, to loose a baby is hell and may no one have to bury their children this year in Jesus name, amen.

    • Lala

      January 12, 2017 at 10:39 pm

      Hearts desire

    • Onyinyechi Njoku

      Onyinyechi Njoku

      January 13, 2017 at 11:53 am

      Thanks a lot, your compliments mean a lot…and I echo a big Amen to your prayer…Having to go through all this only to have a dead baby must be the worst thing ever. I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks, and I cried my eyes out.I can only imagine that happening when the pregnancy has really gone far, or even having a stillbirth. May God not allow us to cast our young.

    • dazzy

      January 16, 2017 at 9:29 am

      I remember that incident ???. In oda news u have succeeded in scaring Me shirtless ????

  6. that uptown girl

    January 12, 2017 at 10:33 pm

    I can relate, I had my baby recently. When I first knew I was pregnant I thought cool, no period for 9 good months? Awesome! By the sixth week I wished for period to come again. The nausea was weakening, the tiredness, constipation, heartburn, just horrible. I stopped feeling like a human being. Then in the last trimester, when you get real heavy, to turn from side to side on the bed or even to get up is wahala, then multiply that wahala by how many times you have to pee every night. As horrible as pregnancy was I didn’t believe I’d miss it, but for a day or two after my baby came I missed having her so close inside me and all the symptoms.
    There are a few good things though- pregnancy sex is just the best, well, right until the last month when we couldn’t find any suitable position and it became two awkward and tiring trying, people are usually nice and considerate, on a more personal level, my husband did everything for me except cooking, he pampered the hell out of me. I tease him and say you do all that because you love me he says it’s because I am pregnant and when I give birth he’ll stop, but I know say na lie.

    And no one tells you that labour is that painful

  7. Neerah

    January 12, 2017 at 10:46 pm

    Well, my pregnancy was mostly fun,apart from the morning sickness I experienced in the first 3 months, I didn’t gain weight, I had no cravings, I didn’t pee all the time, in fact there were days I only peed once or twice a day, no spitting , I slept well, in fact I overslept during my pregnancy, no stretch marks also. Ice was much best friend during pregnancy, I so loved to chew on ice. My sex drive however went down the drain, the mere thought of sex irritated me, hubby understood n stayed away, lol….however around 36 weeks, my BP started to shoot up and I had to be induced at 38 weeks. Meeting my beautiful princess was the best feeling ever.

    • mee

      January 13, 2017 at 1:43 am

      Wow!…sounds exactly like my sister’s pregnancy..from her ice cravings, to not adding a single weight, to her BP shooting up, to delivering her pretty princess at 38weeks….I mean everything!

    • mee

      January 13, 2017 at 1:44 am

      She was also induced!

  8. Anny

    January 12, 2017 at 11:11 pm

    Nice piece. My pregnancy was a miracle from God simply amazing honestly and having elder sisters I had seen all manner of pregnancy drama lol. I never had morning sickness, I barely had appetite my husband would come home from work with snacks,fruits,food practically anything he could find appetite say for where. The only symptom I had was swollen feet because I taught in a school for a bit. Delivery nko Hmmmmm, I was almost ready to pop not one single pain Infact that one na story for another day. Lol

    • Razor

      January 12, 2017 at 11:47 pm

      I dare say you are a lucky woman, Anna.

    • ThatGhanaChick

      January 13, 2017 at 1:45 pm

      Wow Anny You had a supernatural child birth. I thank God for you.

  9. Zinny

    January 12, 2017 at 11:27 pm

    I am 33 weeks and whilst I waited for 4 years to get pregnant, I can’t wait to have this baby. I have a new found respect for women who have more than 3 children. I can’t particularly say I have had a bad pregnancy all through as I am still working 12 hour shifts, However I dread night time. I wake up every hour to pee, I need a crane to turn me. My gums are swollen and painful, my vagina hurts for no apparent reason , my nose bleeds daily , My sex drive is dead and I have not had sex since week 15, I almost yanked that thing off the last time hubby dared . I am praying to God this baby come by week 37 cos I can’t imagine doing this till 40 weeks. I know it will be worth it when I meet my little bubba.

    • Onyinyechi Njoku

      Onyinyechi Njoku

      January 13, 2017 at 11:57 am

      Awwwww! Congrats, God will surely perfect what he has started, you are already there.

  10. BDA

    January 13, 2017 at 12:15 am

    Hmmmm. Like i told my friend a few days ago, i miss being pregnant. My son was just so good to me. No nausea, vomiting, sleepless nights etc. I had swollen feet tho and I told doctor during ANC and he gave me tablets and fiam, the thing disappear. My appetite was ok and I always wanted cold water. Sex was good too, supple skin (my face was freshest), I worked till the end. I left work by 8pm on Saturday, had my 4.5kg overdose of cuteness by 7am on Sunday to the glory of God. I’m indeed blessed.

  11. Tosin

    January 13, 2017 at 1:06 am

    ???

  12. o

    January 13, 2017 at 1:09 am

    No swollen nose, no swollen feet no weight gain for me. In fact at every docs appointment during my antenatal, I had lost more weight. My tunny was so small like I just ate too much, not like pregnancy. Even my neighbours upstairs didn’t know I was expecting. I loved those days…..

  13. Fasholaslover

    January 13, 2017 at 1:35 am

    Spitting?? Inability to keep food down except water. A certain bottle water coy should sign me on as a rep’/face of their coy. The coy that Manufactures Complan too. Perfume? What is dat???? Haa nobody told me o.

  14. Ah Be De

    January 13, 2017 at 3:07 am

    You know when you see that little bundle of joy, the kind of joy you feel is unexplainable. Sometimes i even feel like i’m obsessed with my baby.

    My pregnancy was tumultuous…Jesu oluwa o. I cannot wish what i went through on my enemy o. I spent the first few months crying because the pregnancy came like a disruption to my life. I wanted to start a new job and was actively hunting only to find out miss red had disappeared. Who will hire a pregnant woman? It was still early and not yet showing but I then started having ‘PREGNANCY BRAIN’, that thing is real y’all. My brain just became dull. I couldn’t remember information, I couldn’t get past two pages of a Book, I was studying for a licensing exam, I had to put it off as I couldn’t assimilate anything anymore.

    I had terrible mood swings. I could be laughing this minutes and shedding so much tears the next. My husband got tired one day and called my mum to help him?. My mum said, ‘if you keep crying like this, you’ll give birth to a child who never stops crying’. I don’t know if thats true o but my brain just received some resetting after i heard that and I reduced my crying. I remember my mum also saying, ‘you better don’t frown when you’re in labor or your baby will come out ugly’?.

    I used to throw up every day, the moment a toothbrush with toothpaste enters my mouth, next thing that erupts is yellowish substance. I vomited bile everyday till my third trimester.
    And then just as I was entering my third trimester, I was diagnosed with preemclampsia (without severe futures) and in a couple more weeks Gestational diabetes. I had to check my blood pressure 4 times a day and poke myself four times a day to check my blood sugar level. I refused to take all the glyburide and metformin i was prescribed, I controlled my sugars with diet. I couldn’t exercise so blood pressure doesn’t shoot up.

    Chei! I just thank God I survived and my baby didn’t die because at every visit to the hospital doctors were giving me bad news. My life is a testimony. Glory be to God.

  15. Sugar

    January 13, 2017 at 4:41 am

    I’m so thankful for this article and the comments. At 31 weeks I’ve asked that God in His infinite love will keep me going to the 38th week. It feels so good that I’m not alone and can relate with other people in this amazing journey.

    1
  16. kilipot

    January 13, 2017 at 4:42 am

    Pregnancy is hard……post pregnancy is harder ( maybe it’s just me). I was balling till I got to my 8th week when all day sickness started. I had it all dizziness, headaches, nausea, vomiting , motion sickness ( stopped going to work cos i couldn’t ride in a car without throwing up) basically Hyperemesis Gravidarum.. heartburn, spitting, metallic taste in mouth, haemorrhoid, pelvic girdle pain abi is it SPD that one that makes ur pelvic bone snap while turning in bed or getting out of bed feel like you pelvic bone are grinding on one another. I couldn’t really walk properly – going up and down the stairs was a major work,…. people said all sorts to me. I was compared to other women who carries theirs easily but I thank God for my sister and mother.
    Fast forward to delivery.. my contractions started reducing at 6 cm having been I latent phase of labour for over 24hr and active for 12 hrs. I was told I needed an emergency c section. The pain afterwards is indescribable. The fast forward to breast feeding. I couldn’t even hold my baby close the pain, milk didn’t come in till the 3rd- had to introduce formula then latching issue came up. And then low milk supply. I felt i wasn’t “woman” Enough. Been depressed and all that. All in all I thank God for a good and understanding husband. Having gone through all these , then the issue of exclusive breastfeeding came up- In-laws made me feel like a failure the more. They remembered everyone who pumped 3-10 bottlers of milked before going to work lol. I thank God I’m in a better place. I’m finding myself back again. Oh and my body changed drastically – stretchmarks in places I through i had on lock doown. I will return to the gym in the nearest future as I’m almost mentally ready.

  17. theinformedmum

    January 13, 2017 at 7:00 am

    No one told me hemorrhoids could be a souvenir of pregnancy and childbirth. Now some favorite lovemaking postures remind me of that souvenir.

    Second trimester with my first pregnancy, I learnt of fibroid degeneration ;the pain was out of this world. I am yet to decide that and labour pains which hurt most.

    Currently ‘incubating’ my second child and swearing not to thread this pregnancy path again. Two pregnancies are enough for my lifetime. Shout out to all those mums who went through pregnancy more than twice. They are the super-women.

    Abeg, who was it sef that said women are “the weaker sex”?

    • Protom

      January 16, 2017 at 5:46 am

      Lol. “Two pregnancies are enough for my lifetime.”
      I can relate. Witnessed almost every single day of the entire 9 months Wifey’s first preg and I too concur that one should be enough for us. For now. ?

    • Protom

      January 16, 2017 at 6:01 am

      One more, I mean.

  18. Aadey

    January 13, 2017 at 8:05 am

    As i read other people’s symptoms i began to wonder if i was normal. I pee alot but not as d writer and other people have described. Sometimes some other experiences are sooo different and difficult. I dont have cravings, i sleep all tru d night till abt 4am when the urine comes, apart from regular headaches and breast aches im fine! Iv vomited only 6times. Yes there were days i felt extremely ill but i think im getting over that now. But no one told me hair would grow in weird places, under my boobs, i have moustache now, my belly, my legs, my hands and den my nails are soooo hard and strong as well. D pubic hair is x2, i have tiny boils all over my private. Those are symptoms people rarely talk about. But like they say it will all be worth it when the precious one arrives!. Goodluck to everyone

  19. Preggy

    January 13, 2017 at 9:42 am

    I am in the last week of my second trimester.
    The First eight weeks was awesome no symptoms of any sort then came week 9-18 and Man oh Man i went through hell. The nausea was tremendous, smells irritated me so bad that i stopped using perfumes, deodorants, cooking, eating and seeing people, indigestion was real, severe pains in my pelvic, pregnancy brain, i lost so much weight i didn’t look pregnant for the most part.
    Then from week 20 till now, nausea has subsided but i still experience indigestion, pelvic pains, terrible pregnancy brain, my nose has felt the impact, I have no cravings, the funny thing is i am always hungry but i cant or don’t eat because the food doesn’t go down for hours and i mean 12-18 hours so frustrating. By the way since my 8th week my sex drive has been dead and hubby understands but I still take a painfully conscious effort to do it weekly. Oh i forgot to mention I sleep a lot now….
    I wish there was a platform for expecting mothers and first time mothers to share experiences

  20. Kee

    January 13, 2017 at 9:43 am

    I am expecting my first baby at 36. I took in the first week of marriage, was not expecting it would happen that soon. Hubby (maybe because he’s a doctor), was the one who first informed me at the 3rd week that I was pregnant. “You lie boo”, I told him, I didn’t want it to be true.
    Here I am, 14 weeks, 4days. I can’t wait for it to be all over. My weight is at a constant 65kg, hasn’t changed much from what it was before the pregnancy except for the time I lost 2kg. I got slowed down after the 4th week and I’m only just getting my energy back. I am still barfing bile (it started somewhere around the 5th week), every time my toothbrush goes in, yellow comes out, so I have stopped brushing at night (and to think I used to be a strict night brusher!)
    My skin literally glows, I radiate, people have said, many already guessing I have a bun in the oven even though my stomach is just slightly bloated. My appetite is off and on, sex-drive zero, my hair lustrous and doing so well. Some nights (and days) I sleep so well, and on other nights I might just get in about 2 to 4 hours. My breasts are beautiful :), and well I am pretty much doing ok.
    I mostly feel like there’s an alien controlling my body, and my mood and can’t wait for him/her/them to come out so that I can get my revenge ;]. I guess it’s mostly the feeling that my life has been changed forever by one tiny miracle that leaves me reeling most days.
    I have a new found respect for mothers.
    Of ten, five or just one. You rock!

  21. Kofo

    January 13, 2017 at 10:45 am

    Hmmm no one also talked about been “Bloated” ,i was super bloated at the first 4 -10 weeks, i was super showing,some people thought i was nearly due, but that was far from it. Right now i am 20 weeks gone(happy i have passed the first trimester)as i had threatening abortion twice due to hermatoma,and i am battling with fibriods too. Though the bloating has stopped,but my belly is still so huge(fibroid)my Doc said i should just assume i am carrying multiples .But in all i give God the praise as it took us 2 years to conceive, this is my first and i am 35 so it hasn’t easy. Every week Doctors appointment after the 2 threats i had in my first trimester. Pregnancy though,its just a different ball game…I pray for a very healthy baby and safe delivery too. Please join me in prayers Y’all. Thank you

    • Ammie

      June 2, 2017 at 7:34 pm

      You will deliver safely in Jesus’ name. Amen!

  22. This is precious, only a mother will truly understand her experience.
    #MumRules

  23. Jazzy

    January 13, 2017 at 12:44 pm

    Hehehhehehee, it ain’t easy! Where to start, where to pause!? Am in that phase where the say u feel little flutters that endears you to the fact that you’re going to have a little cute bundle! Omo! Am beginning to think doctors have all the fancy words to coat a lotta bullshit! The little bundle now holds football premier league in my nether region, and am yet to feel a flutter! And each movement leaves u holding your breathe like what just happened? I came to that realization long ago that the cute pregnancy pics, and stories all are illusions! Pregnancy ain’t play! And yet you feel like you found the cure for Ebola! When the come rolling out. I haven’t met my angel yet! But I can’t help feeling like a heroine. With a feeling like that who wouldn’t go back down the road again? Smiles.

  24. queenofeverything

    January 13, 2017 at 12:59 pm

    I am 32weeks and it has been interesting reading all of the comments.. i knew i was always going to be a spitter because even when i get malaria,i spit but doing it for all the 9months is difficult!! I am always carrying my cup around and its even nauseating to me how much more others..
    I havent had any major dislikes or cravings, i just cant drink cold water so its room temperature all the way for me..(i drink water a lot too,like 6litres a day)
    I am a lover of all things high heeled so not been able to werk it now is really frustrating but i werked it for the 5months full day but now,even an hour brings me severe bodily pains..
    my libido is still very much active, i think its on the high now more than ever,no style is out of place for me..i am versatile like that..
    oooh and i hate the size of my nose now…its enlarged unfortunately for me
    But so far so good, i hate the heartburn too so i dont eat after lunch,the struggle to sleep in the night even after drinking a tin of milk isnt worth it..
    i really admire women who do this 6x on different occasions,even one with not soo much major changes and i am tired..i cant wait for 37weeks when i walk into the hospital and take her out(i have vowed never to give birth naturally,i dont think its worth the pain of 2nd degree tear and all that pains,sorry elective CS for me all the way)
    and yes now i really feel for women who go throw this for 9months and have still birth or the child dies..that breaks my heart..

  25. Bade

    January 13, 2017 at 1:26 pm

    A few other things no one will tell you, ESPECIALLY in the dreaded 1st semester when you can’t even really tell anyone you’re pregnant:

    -You can’t sleep

    -But you’re always sleepy

    -You lose appetite

    -You easily run out of breath, especially when speaking

    -Your nausea (aka morning sickness) isn’t just in the morning. It’s also in afternoon, evening, night. All day every day.

    Funny enough, despite all this, I miss being pregnant. Something transcendental about it that makes you all goo goo on the inside.

  26. Chioma Nwabuko

    January 13, 2017 at 1:31 pm

    Loved the article… I remember having to take extra underwear in my handbag.. Plus the fact that it was always too hot to sleep in bed, I always ended up sleeping on the floor( God bless whoever discovered tiles).

  27. Wunmi

    January 13, 2017 at 2:09 pm

    My first trimester was hell, I couldn’t eat nor drink , I stopped using deodorant even the smell of soap irritates the hell out of me, Vomit ko, once I sight toothpaste on my brush the vomit comes. I couldn’t talk or do anything I was terrible sick.
    I was so ugly and very dark, swollen legs, face, nose every part of me was so big. My pastor walked past me one day and didn’t recognise me until I spoke. Sex was no go area for me, I can go on & on,
    All this would have worth it if I met my son, he died few mins after he was born. That was 3yrs ago and I hope to go on that journey soon IJN.

    • Kee

      January 13, 2017 at 3:03 pm

      *tight e-hugs*

    • ThatGhanaChick

      January 13, 2017 at 4:23 pm

      I am so sorry for your loss, ,I pray that God will put a smile on your face soon.

    • Ama

      January 13, 2017 at 9:01 pm

      Wunmi my heart just broke for you over that last paragraph. I am so sorry for your loss. May Jesus give you this joy again. Amen.

    • Ty

      January 14, 2017 at 10:06 am

      So sorry dear

  28. ob

    January 13, 2017 at 3:30 pm

    This is an interesting piece, i have just been laffing especially at Onyinye Njoku’s piece. Mine has just been so interesting. I eat anything, sleep well, no swellings at all. My skin is just fantastic. Still maintained my weight. No morning sickness at all. If its like this to end, i wouldnt mind another fast. Hahahahhahaa. God bless all First time mums! God all the way through this journey.

  29. TJ

    January 13, 2017 at 4:00 pm

    At 34 weeks now I’m really expectant to meet my little one!

    I’ve experienced all the symptoms by the writer and i bless God for an understanding hubby who would come home to do dirty dishes and make his own meal?

    Most frustrating for me is the little/non-existent appetite coupled with constant hunger bites even in the middle of the night?

    Just like the writer mentioned each person carries pregnancy differently but I guess in our culture people tend to criticise you for being open about your challenges and tell u to be grateful instead?

    My Aunty actually told me to stop complaining cos she worked till she was due with every symptom I’m having now! Imagine!

    I wish everyone a safe delivery and we will all hold our bundles of joy ijn amen??

    #mycaseisdifferent#psalm126

  30. Dike Maureen

    January 13, 2017 at 4:03 pm

    I kept on smiling while reading your post, my first trimester was so hell for me, vomitting, fever, headache, can feel the taste of anything that goes into my mouth etc. I still find it difficult to sleep on my left or right side. In a day I pee not less than twenty times, especially at night. Sometimes I can’t sleep, lay down on the floor, sit down on the couch, walk around the house. I thank God because is such a wonderful experience as a woman. Am almost due can’t wait to hold my bundle of joy as a first time mom.

  31. Isioma

    January 13, 2017 at 4:51 pm

    During my pregnancy, I can’t fix my hair, all through the nine months of pregnancy. Weavons/ extensions irritate me, I can perceive them from afar and would be on the verge of throwing up.

    Am usually very strong all through the preg period and would work till my due date. It was only in my first preg that my baby gave my body a hard time. I collapsed several time because my body was not strong enough to manage the stress. I don’t eat much but I was carrying a heavy eater for a baby. Soon as she wakes up and I’ve not eaten something especially early in the morning, I would almost or actually pass out. I would be like a phone that the batt has run out. I won’t even be able stand, I would just fall, sometimes without knowing am about to pass out.

    What about that time during preg that one sweets like a ram to be slaughtered.
    The labour and delivery nko. Very painful experiences. I thank God for the grace to bring life into the world. Its a privilege given to only women.

  32. effy

    January 13, 2017 at 8:01 pm

    I love all the comments! Am 32weeks gone and I thought my own pregnancy is different until I read through this article. Has anyone experience inconsistent scan result as per the sex of the baby? Have done 4 scans and the result is conflicting. My fellow ‘Iya ibejis’ what can I do? #firsttimemum#

  33. Bee...

    January 14, 2017 at 1:50 am

    Reading all the comments at work and i’m laughing in tears…
    I’m a first time mum, almost 24weeks..Its different for me because i had a 8-12weeks miscarriage(didnt even know i was pregnant). I was over working then, took a day off when i found out i was expcting but then i lost it 2days after sadly 🙁

    I had little or now symptoms during the first trimester (i just find it so hard to sleep at night), then i became normal after that, food is now my favorite thing, appetite has skyrocketed. then i’m about 3times my normal size, i had to buynew clothes (lol). even me that use to be in the small boobs league is now competing for large size (funny).
    My ultrasound recently showed that my cervix is short and it keeps getting shorter (this can cause premature birth before 7months and deformity in the child according to the obg) So i had a cervical stitch surgery just to keep it close, Obg said the stitch would be removed at 37weeks and no sex till further notice. Libido was high before nowbut protuding tommy is preventing it, now its on a shut down. I’m so praying to have a natural birth. and i plan on working till few days before EDD God help me, just because i started this job bout 2/3months ago and i dont want to look unserious.

    God help us all and keep our babies and unborn alive for us to see 🙂

  34. Preggo

    January 14, 2017 at 9:04 am

    I am 28 weeks gone. The poster is so right, no one tells u how bad it can Get. My first trimester wasn’t so bad, loss of appetite and I only had nausea for 3 days. Was tired all the time and very dizzy. Then came second trimester and it starts getting weird, my hubby calls my nose rat nose. I could smell anything anywhere. I hated perfumes and deodorant, as in can’t stand it. Had to change my bathing soap cuz the smell was too strong. Food nko? I cudnt eat my own food (still can’t). Someone else has to make it and it has to be fresh. If it’s reheated, I can’t eat. Even the smell of raw eggs make me throw up. Wat about all the pimples on my face, chest, shoulders and my whole back? Stretch marks nko? Like tyre tracks on my stomach, upper bum and my hips. My face nko? I don’t recognize myself in the mirror anymore. Nose is double the size, cheeks so big and I look so pregnant! Constant peeing in the night and the hunger in the middle of the night and as soon as I wake up. Can’t sleep most nights cuz I can’t get a comfortable position. I could go on and on. But my little munchkin has turned my belly into football stadium. Kicking all the time. Feels good to know all these is happening to me cuz of it. I feel for those who lose their babies, I cant imagine the pain and depression. God be with us all #firsttimemum

  35. Protom

    January 16, 2017 at 6:00 am

    Onyii! Your signature ability to interlace sweet flowing prose with a good measure of humour was replete across the story. Nice read. And see how everyone owned the story. I smiled and laughed through almost every paragraph.

    Was virtually a house-hubby through Wifey’s first preg and I can completely relate with your experience. That craving for “mortuary standard” coke, Wifey took hers a notch further – pure ice blocks. What a craving. She’ll want cold coke, water etc on ice rocks and she won’t take “no NEPA” for an excuse – I had to keep the alternatives functional. She also had this “hatred” for noise. In one particular instance, public power supply was out for days and everyone was on generator. By the third day of the outage, she insisted I lodge her into a nearby hotel or she’ll run mad. House-hubby, enwekwaranu m choice.

    I however held one thing as compensation during the entire period – I don’t like pregnant women spatting their way to delivery – Wifey didn’t. Nobody told her that before hand too. It was pleasant!

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