Connect with us

Features

Cisi Eze: Every Woman is a Prostitute

Cisi Eze

Published

 on

“I knew that my profession had been invented by men, (…) men force women to sell their bodies at a price, and that the lowest paid body is that of a wife. All women are prostitutes of one kind or another.” – Nawal el Saadawi’s “Woman at Point Zero”.

Prostitution is “engaging in sexual activity with another person in exchange for money or other valuable goods.” Prostitution is sex trade. It is between two parties. Why do we denigrate only one party?
If there were no buyer, would there have been a seller? This goes both ways.

Society grooms girls to see romantic relationships as a source of income while teaching men to see income as a source of romantic relationships. We should not pretend an AVERAGE Nigerian girl does not go into romantic relationships for money.

Some guy once tweeted about a girl he asked on a date. It turned out the girl asked for “hair money” before the date.

“I’m broke,” a girl says.

“Don’t you have a boyfriend?” her friend asks and goes on to say, “My boyfriend does not miss it. He sends me 40k every month.”

How did having a boyfriend become an occupation? As I often say, Prostitution, like blue, has several hues.

Having sex with my boyfriend, a man that pays for my weaves and all that, does not make me different from that woman that sleeps with different men to get money to pay for her weaves and all that. Is it because she sleeps with different men? (Are humans naturally monogamous? If you are bringing in religion into this, aren’t we all fornicating? Is it not the same eternal damnation?  People that claimed they went to school still believe “the vagina gets loose” after “too much sex”. Really, they should read and re-educate themselves.)

Most men believe it is their duty to cater to their ADULT girlfriends and wives. I am yet to understand why a physically fit adult has to cater to another physically fit adult. I could easily decide to get married this year – I’d call any of the men that think they are in love with me and I’d say I’m now interested in getting married and become a trophy wife. Does a boy, my age mate, have the same choice? Would he not face ridicule for being a trophy husband? I live in a society where a girl tweets, What is your role as a boyfriend if you can’t provide everything your girl wants? Do we hold girls to the same standard?

One of the foci of gender equality, a.k.a feminism, is getting rid of double standards in all aspects of human life. People, regardless of their sexes, should be held to the same standards in ALL aspects of life. Until we get rid of the double standards in respect to how the sexes view romantic relationships, I am afraid female sexuality would remain a currency.

Women should stop feeling entitled to men’s money – we should stop viewing romantic relationships as moneymaking ventures.

Men should stop feeling responsible for women. They should stop seeing money as a way to “find love”.

There is no point getting sanctimonious in the presence of sex workers if we believe men are obligated to cater to women while women are to be catered to. That would make us hypocrites.

P.S.
I love you… but you are a prostitute if your main aim in that romantic relationship is to make money off your “bae”.

You enable prostitution if you feel you NEED money to get love, affection, and sex from a woman in the guise of “romantic relationship”. “I need money to impress her…” Bro, swerve!

P.P.S.
The Functionalist School of Thought in sociology believes prostitution is beneficial to society. You could read that up on your own. Often, I ask myself what makes prostitution different from plumbing. They both render services. Is it because of sex? What is this thing about sex?

P.P.P. S.
Do you look down on sex workers because “it is morally and spiritually wrong”?  Do you realise you have a habit that is “morally and spiritually wrong”? It could be that you’re signing into the office at the wrong time. A lie is a lie even when coated with white. So, calm down. If sex workers want to go to hell, let them go to hell in peace. Are they affecting you negatively in any way?

P.P.P.P.S.
I am in awe of women that have put a price on themselves – they have not let people put a price on them. Cheers to every woman that has understood society has made our sexuality a currency. Do you think it is easy sharing yourself with people? All that courage! At times, I wish I could bend myself in a way I would not mind trading my sexuality with a man for money. Men seem to have more money. Cher Dieu, mais pourquoi! Those of us not trading our sexuality for money should start asking ourselves if we lack business acumen.

Photo Credit: Jason Stitt | Dreamstime.com

Cisi Eze is a Lagos-based freelance journalist, writer, comic artist, and graphics designer. She feels strongly about LGBT+ rights, feminism, gender issues, and mental health, and this is expressed through her works on Bella Naija and her blog – Shades of Cisi. Aside these, she has works on Western Post NG, Kalahari Review, Holaafrica, Mounting the Moon, Gender IT, Outcast Magazine, Rustin Times, 14: An Anthology of Queer Art Volume 1 and 2, and Sweet Deluge (Issue 2). Her first book, published by Tamarind Hill Press, UK, is titled “Of Women, Edges, and Parks”.Cisi’s art challenges existing societal norms.

95 Comments

  1. Beard gang

    February 27, 2017 at 8:33 pm

    abeg I go like be trophy husband o!

    • Tina

      February 28, 2017 at 12:33 am

      This is such a stupid, offensive and myopic write up. You think being a prostitude is only about sex that you have the guts to call all women prostitude. Go and talk to some people in the trade and you will understand what emotional and psychological trauma they pass through that some even commit suicide. Why is the Bible ok with sex in marriage but not furnication or adultery? Forget marriage, how can you compare sleeping with one partner at a time to sleeping with the whole village. I condemn prostitution, runs or whatever they call it these and will continue to do so, will never have respect for those who engage in such. Not to talk of increase risk of deadly diseases and accumulation of souls you sleep with.

    • FasholasLover

      February 28, 2017 at 10:45 am

      Naaaah. I don’t think so. If you were to stop being sanctimonious, step back and reflect, the girl told no lie. I don’t get it when women call other women prostitutes, biko what do “prostitutes” do that you as a woman do not do? You bat your eye lids for a range rover, a house etc and get it, what is that? Is it because the other woman stands by the road side to solicit? Do you sleep with a ma/menn? Do you have multiple partners? A monogamous sexual relationship packs up and you move to the next and have sex still. What is that again?? When parents instill in their daughters to only look out for well to do suitors who will take care of them, what is that?

      My brother’s friend told of how on a second date, the girl said she wanted a blender. His question to her was “am l your father”? If he ain’t your father and you deploy all manner of wiles to get something off him you have no right to cast aspersions. As for men who call women prostitutes, you have a mother/sister okwaya? I don’t take offense/and will not if anyone were to refer to me as a prostitute nitori “Iran obinrin lo nse ashewo” Translation: It is in the lineage of women to prostitute. Pls. let the Almighty be the judge of who is who. To yourself be true.

    • Wale Vintage

      February 28, 2017 at 12:00 pm

      All she needed to say is that we (men and women) are ALL harlots. Everybody is buying or selling something. Some try to sanitize it and make it more exclusive than others, a la husbands and wives, or those in socially acceptable relationships; while others give it all away. In most societies everywhere in the world, a man ( or male / dominate figure; I am being sensitive to the new LGBT roles) is expected to be the provider in exchange for love, comfort and loyalty from his/her less dominate spouse. Most woman expect to be protected and provided for (code word for financial security and safety) so she and her children are comfortable. So this lady’s article is actually really profound. But she just didn’t articulate it. Yes, Wives are prostitutes too! It is just a cleaner more socially acceptable form of prostitution. It is only when you give is all away without something in return or something to show for it that you know you have a problem- you have been had!

    • Jezebel

      February 28, 2017 at 4:52 am

      Two reasons I like reading Cisi’s articles:

      1. They are thought and debate provoking;
      2. She says things like foci.
      ??

    • Ogbuefi

      February 28, 2017 at 9:50 am

      Lol… The write-up made sense to an extent but should have used a subtle theme. To paraphrase her thoughts; If you engage in sex in anticipation of material gains as babe/wife from your guy/husband etc OR as a compensation for money spent on your babe/wife as a guy/husband, you have engaged, aided & abetted prostitution. However, if you engage in sex out of show of love, it is not prostitution . I agree because sex is an act of love and money can never buy love.

  2. Mawi

    February 27, 2017 at 8:40 pm

    I don’t understand. That opening quote up there, what does it mean? It sounds like it was coined by a woman from a radical Islamic society where women are subjected to harsh conditions. But it sure as hell doesn’t apply to the Nigerian society which ur write up focuses on. I mean, how do men ‘force’ us to sell our bodies? How are the wives prostitutes too? Even the lowest paid? Over here, are we forced to enter relationships, marry or stand by the road side waiting on ‘customers’? Writer sorry o, but is that ur personal opinion or the quote just sounded nice to u? Besides, it is a contradiction to the rest of ur write up. It claims u are forced, but the rest of the article admits that women/girls CHOOSE to be in relationships for monetary gains. Tbh, the article is all over the place.

    • Anon

      February 27, 2017 at 8:57 pm

      The person means that women have sex with their husbands and do all the labour eg cooking and cleaning for very little money in exchange, sometimes for free. While prostitutes have sex with the man and may get paid even more than what the husband may give his wife

    • A Real Nigerian

      February 27, 2017 at 8:58 pm

      Wow.
      You really need a class in reading comprehension.
      All the questions you asked have been answered in the article.
      Maybe read again?

    • truth

      February 27, 2017 at 9:00 pm

      i think my dear mawi, you misconstrued the quote used and not the writer. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but in the future be more analytical and have less emotional inclination when reasoning. In Nigeria many mothers raise their sons to believe that as long as they have money that finding a wife should be easy, while a woman is encouraged to marry a man that will take good care of her. If you haven’t noticed Nigeria, is still patriarchal society. Though I do not like the writer’s intent, I do understand where she is coming from and if I might add if you go to the north of Nigeria, you will see women subjected to inhumane harsh conditions, so whether the north or south, this ideology definitely applies to the Nigerian Society. If there wasn’t a market, would there be sellers?.

    • Mawi

      February 27, 2017 at 9:32 pm

      Hmm… I see your point. I really didnt get it & i thank you for taking ur time to point it out unlike others up there who just throw insults when I clearly mentioned that I didn’t understand.

    • LemmeRant

      February 27, 2017 at 9:54 pm

      “In Nigeria many mothers raise their sons to believe that as long as they have money that finding a wife should be easy”

      Nope this is a reality that slaps you in the face when the time comes.

  3. Sonia

    February 27, 2017 at 8:52 pm

    Cisi, I really like this article. I kept laughing all through cause I’m guilty in Judging sex workers and ‘runs girls’. Thanx for this

  4. john

    February 27, 2017 at 8:53 pm

    @mawi u still do not get it…smh..olodo nice and one of the most genuine realist article here

    • Mawi

      February 27, 2017 at 9:00 pm

      I may be olodo o. Please educate me, because ‘since I was young, & now I am old’ no man has ever forced me to sell my body. Abeg enlighten me oga. I’m serious, I really don’t get it

    • A Real Nigerian

      February 27, 2017 at 9:34 pm

      So because it hasn’t happened to you means it does not exist?
      Impeccable logic.
      And why do you keep thinking she is talking about blatant prostitution?

    • Me

      February 28, 2017 at 2:11 pm

      Shut up already. Stop being a cyber bully kilode. She said she doesn’t understand. Simple English.. Let her be. @ real Nigerian or what ever you call yourself.

  5. Chinma Eke

    February 27, 2017 at 9:02 pm

    Cisi!!!!!!! They are coming for You!
    Me I like sha!?

  6. Rwen

    February 27, 2017 at 9:04 pm

    All women except those of us that have been celibate all our lives and intend to remain so ;-)…..very liberating!

    • Liar Liar Mohammed

      February 27, 2017 at 10:00 pm

      Celibate my foot. With sex toy? Or with fingers? Or with porn? Hahahahaha. Your holiness. Continue. Lmao

      If you are a celibate you will be announcing it like an award. Lmao. Continue

    • Me

      February 28, 2017 at 12:13 am

      Mr mentally messed up. Yes there are celibate people and virgins who do not use sex toys, pornography or their hands. If you do not know such kind of people, I am glad to inform you that they do exist.

    • Rwen

      February 28, 2017 at 12:13 am

      Sorry to burst your bubble but it is possible to be celibate without toys or fingers or porn. I put the comment out there to encourage others like me. We may be few but yes, we do exist!

  7. Bimbo

    February 27, 2017 at 9:07 pm

    This is a Nigerian or should I say African thing! I was shocked when I found that people behave this way. I am dating a Ghanian guy at the moment. Quite cool and level headed, doesn’t give me too much stress. However, anytime I say I am short of cash he is like “please tell me what you need. I find it embarrassing that my girlfriend has money issues.” I go like “when did you become an atm that I can withdraw cash from anytime?” He goes like “I am your man and it is my responsibility.” I am like ????? Who made you responsible for me. We are both functioning adults with brains that can work and make money. So who is responsible for you if you are responsible for me??? The whole thing kinda irks me. We go out and I offer to pay or split and I see thr embarrassment on his face when that happens. I am like why do you think like this for heavens sake? Last valentine’s day in my workplace was a live comedy show for me at least. Young, beautiful nurses and doctors comparing and constrasting their vals gift and complaining bitterly about how their partners are not up to or “performing” while lauding their colleagues who they deemed to have better gifts as “sensible” for their choice of partners. What humoured me the most was that NONE of them bought anything for these men(assuming they are all heterosexual). I asked one of the collegues why they behave like that and she said I should not let her food choke her by asking stupid question ans if I like I should go and feed all the men since I have all the money in the world and that afterall I make more money than her. I decided there and then to not ask about relationships and how they work in Nigeria. Sometimes I get worried that I might be missing something everybody seems to see with how relationships operate here. Nigeria is a country that you just have to love. Very fascinating way of life. I have never thought anybody was responsible for me in any way, shape or form. Any assistance I get from anybody is seen as a favour and nobody whether it is a man or woman is obliged to look after me, no matter what that person is to me.

    • Me

      February 28, 2017 at 2:19 pm

      But what o. You split bills when your boyfriend takes you out??? Not friend o, not colleague.. Your man!!! Are you serious right now? You’re a serious learner… As in first class learner.

      I’m not in support of leaching off any man.. Boo or not. But you seem too proud and your deliberate show of independence is highly unnecessary. You can be independent and still allow yourself to be pampered and cared for every now and then. Calm down madam. Jeez.

    • anon

      February 28, 2017 at 11:43 pm

      maybe she’s a feminist. did that occur to you? I always split cause i want to. If he wants to take me out eg to be romantic, he’ll pay. Me too, if i want to be romantic, I pay. Yes, I’m proud, but it’s also because I’m a feminist and I see a man as my equal and not my provider. He also cooks, we split who cooks by week, or based on who comes home first. He sees me as his partner, and not his cook/nanny

  8. Spunky

    February 27, 2017 at 9:30 pm

    I like…

  9. Joy Ajuluchukwu

    February 27, 2017 at 9:43 pm

    Pretty interesting read. Basically sex is a commodity that is traded and the society tilts largely in favour of men. It allows them purchase as much as they want with little consequences whereas, were the case reversed, women would be bashed.
    The sex is what makes the man(not all though) do certain things for women and not love.

  10. ButtercuP

    February 27, 2017 at 9:54 pm

    Harsh but true

  11. cocozee

    February 27, 2017 at 10:02 pm

    A million likes for this comment.
    The buyer is as guilty as the seller.

  12. cocozee

    February 27, 2017 at 10:02 pm

    Post *

  13. Mawi

    February 27, 2017 at 10:13 pm

    @A Real Nigerian: it’s funny how u don’t see where I ask for explanations & insight. As per ur usual self, u bring out this angry, quarrelsome attitude everytime. You didnt even comment on the article or commend the writer; you just came for the one who disagreed with what u accept. Typical of you, always angry & unaccepting of anyone else’s opinion. You must know it all i guess. Some commentators were kind enough to give more insight, but not u. You couldn’t even be graceful enough to just ignore my comments. It’s not like I was aggressive towards anyone o. Na wa. I hope you find some peace. Cheers

    • Lacey

      February 27, 2017 at 10:41 pm

      @Mawi you are so right! This is the most senseless article I have ever read on BN! I had serious brain block while reading this write up ! Cray cray women in Nigeria, all they sleep and eat is sex and man!!! Lord have mercy like my American sisters would say!!! Outright garbage write up!!!

  14. Sherri

    February 27, 2017 at 10:40 pm

    Girl after my heart! Looooove your mind!!

    I hope you know beyond any doubt that you are a mind to be treasured and you don’t need a mirror or anyone to tell you of your beauty.

  15. Beli

    February 27, 2017 at 10:40 pm

    This is silly being a wife far outweighes any prostitue. You get a home, shared responsibilities, anything you can wish for, loving support system, money to blow if you wish or invest. I mean the list is endless, good release ?. I could go on..

  16. rugged Obi

    February 27, 2017 at 10:41 pm

    In a couple of minutes someone just ridiculed the female race with one careless post and there are actually people hyping her and calling her article alright. It’s alright. If I see her on the road and call her a prostitute hope it won’t be misconstrued cos she just called every woman a harlot and readers are cool with it.

    • Mawi

      February 27, 2017 at 11:48 pm

      Imagine if it were written by a man. Just imagine the backlash he would have received. It is now okay to be equated to a prostitute because you CHOSE to get married. So why get married? As for those in harsh conditions under strict patriarchal rule, how can they be termed prostitutes when they are simply victims of suppression? I definitely agree with certain points in the article but I also think this is a carelessly written post & maybe that would have been clearer if it were written by a male. My opinion.

    • C

      February 28, 2017 at 2:58 am

      Honestly I thought it was a man cause I was like no way a woman could write this bigotry but oh was I wrong. Na she be ashewo oo my own na by what I feel like role playing that day ;D

  17. funmilola

    February 27, 2017 at 10:43 pm

    I know a girl who once lived in my neighborhood, guys says she’s “loose”,she sleeps around,bla bla bla….got into an argument with a friend of mine who agreed too and he was shocked when I asked him about the guys that sleep with her, they are “tight” abi? or is she sleeping with ghosts?
    as long as you sleep with a prostitute, you are one too.dazall!

    • all of them

      February 28, 2017 at 9:55 am

      ode ni e funmi

      the guys that slept with her is 1:1
      while she sleeps with a number of them

      The guys are in singles while she is d constant factor here sleeping with all of them

  18. B

    February 27, 2017 at 10:48 pm

    B.N, your writer’s opening quote or headline is very offensive and misleading. Misleading in the sense that she could not even explain ‘every’ woman as a prostitute except for those interested in relationships for money. The story is different from the headline. At first I thought ‘this person is mentally sick’ then I realised she was trying to be smart.

    • Becca

      February 27, 2017 at 11:35 pm

      There’s no such thing as a free lunch.
      Every sexually active woman is selling sex. Even if you’re married, then your husband is your sole client. You give him sex in exchange for comfort, compassion, ‘security’, that he sticks around, etc etc. If he didn’t give you anything back you’d close shop – as in your legs.

    • Sul

      February 28, 2017 at 7:45 am

      I disagree, its free sex if you both desire each other’s comfort. Sometimes sex is jst sex, satisfying each others needs no need to call urself a prostitute bcz of dat. I think we overthink things sometimes n lead ourselves to all these further maths conclusion n convince ourselves dat everythng we conclude is right and logical…dis article is a result of one of those moments.

  19. Livie

    February 27, 2017 at 11:19 pm

    I understand the underling point of this article but I also disagree some of the comparisons. It’s illogical to compare a marriage/ relationship with a generous man to prostitution because the dynamics are so different. In essence, what you’re saying is every woman who is financially dependent on her husband is a prostitute because her husband provides for her?! How does that even add up? A prostitute has sex with multiple men ( including strangers) for the sole purpose of financial gain and definitely not to cultivate any meaningful relationship or interaction of any kind. In a serious relationship or marriage you’re monogamous and committed to your significant other and your significant other may be very generous and loving, I see no problem with this or how it can be compared to prostitution. Please don’t go around encouraging stinginess and irresponsibility. Very soon you’ll have men using this article as basis for refusing to buy their wives gifts or make any financial investments in their families. You’re entitled to reject financial gestures from your boyfriend or husband but you have no right to impose that standard on other women and accuse them of being prostitutes. If a woman decides to be financially reliant on her husband and her husband is happy to support her financial , it really doesn’t make her a prostitute.

  20. Livie

    February 27, 2017 at 11:23 pm

    I understand the underling point of this article but I also disagree some of the comparisons. It’s illogical to compare a marriage/ relationship with a generous man to prostitution because the dynamics are so different. In essence, what you’re saying is every woman who is financially dependent on her husband is a prostitute because her husband provides for her?! How does that even add up? A prostitute has sex with multiple men ( including strangers) for the sole purpose of financial gain and definitely not to cultivate any meaningful relationship or interaction of any kind. In a serious relationship or marriage you’re monogamous and committed to your significant other and your significant other may be very generous and loving, I see no problem with this or how it can be compared to prostitution. Please don’t go around encouraging stinginess and irresponsibility. Very soon you’ll have men using this article as basis for refusing to buy their wives gifts or make any financial investments in their families. You’re entitled to eject financial gestures from your boyfriend or husband but you have no right to impose that standard on other women and accuse them of being prostitutes. If a woman decides to be financially reliant on her husband and her husband is happy to support her financially , it really doesn’t make her a prostitute.

  21. RiRi

    February 27, 2017 at 11:32 pm

    Clearly the headline is a bait to read how disoriented this writer is. A bit all over the place in my opinion..Where do you stand??! You want to get paid, you don’t want to. You want to be the man, you don’t want to, you fantasize about prostitution or you empathize with them……. Are you trying to share what you did or didn’t do last summer??
    Clearly……. Somebody needs to get laid. Another somebody needs to get luxuriously spoilt, Another somebody needs to take prozac and calm them nerves, Another somebody needs to go for confession, Somebody needs to get a job, Another somebody needs to stop taking control substances (unprescribed), Another somebody is trying so hard to justify a terrible decision they made by putting everything (women) inclusive in a box. Another Somebody needs to take that blood test. Another somebody needs to go to church next Sunday. Another somebody needs to get a new hobby.
    In life we leverage almost everything.
    You study to get paid
    You work to get paid
    You focus on a hobby and get paid
    You preach and get paid
    You kill( the law, judgement, the force) and get paid
    You are appreciated, you get paid if you leverage wisely. Etc etc etc.
    Should everyone and everything then be labeled prostitutes and prostitution. Nope!

    If you are hungry and steal to eat, you have satisfied the hunger but you have broken the law and there are consequences. At the same time, hunger is so wrong if it’s making you ill.

    Concerning prostitution and those who just read the headline and decided, oh well I might as well, country hard, .. Hmmm, If you choose to sleep with a different person every time and you expose yourself to diseases, ridicule, pain, etc, you face the consequences. It’s not just the act, you give a bit of your soul each time. You don’t see emotional scars, they are deep and dangerous and the substance you take (alcohol,drugs, cash) to numb your feelings whilst prostituting wear out and you still feel empty and a deep void that marriage and kids after the act can’t fill….. It’s a trap. Turn away!

    The man has a unique position in life whether we choose to accept it or not or whether they act the way they ought to or not, I say this cos they are the common denominator in this article…lol

    Smh.

  22. AB

    February 27, 2017 at 11:52 pm

    How do you equate prostitution to dowry paid to marry a wife legally and before witnesses , where the woman happily obliges! I’m sorry Hun I am Nigeria and I have met Nigerian girls from diff sides of the coins ! As a matter of fact not all of them are what you describe here! Some yes will have sex with their boo as part of the relationship which is fornication yes but don’t ask jack shit from their boys! They want hair, they buy it for themselves Infact I can put my hand on d bible and tell you now that I have never in my life dated a guy and slept with him for his foolish money ! Yes ! I just said that! Every Chanel bag, weave , Gucci shoes I have I saved up, worked hard to get em and I move in a circle of girls who do same because we work in d same industry and literally live together …fair enuf this is just a Minor percentage but to make a blanket statement that all women are prostitute? Hunny, check your line and stay right there– aka prostitution! If that floats your boat!!! Darn! I read and see a lot of Bs up in here ! And none of y’all should come for me Biko, counter what I have said and let us argue like adults not shildren !!

    • sunshine

      February 28, 2017 at 9:10 am

      A million likes for this comment!!! Thanks for the article Cisi but some of us don’t wait for guys to buy us stuff. We work, make the money and indulge ourselves.

  23. ogeAdiro

    February 27, 2017 at 11:52 pm

    Everybody likes a rich guy oh, not just women. It’s probably the survival instinct in us. Haven’t you noticed that guys that have money usually walk around with an entourage. Unless you’re quoting Bible (eye of the needle yarns), there’s not a lot wrong with wealth. So I’m not sure why you’re asking the moneybag man to swerve. I agree with some of the prostitute related points. A lot of us are like prostitutes in some ways. But I believe that the world of prostitution is way darker than having a rich boyfriend. There’s a reason we have advocacy groups for prostitutes and not plumbers. I also agree with the one of women making their own money, and men stopping with the foolishness.

  24. AB

    February 27, 2017 at 11:53 pm

    *Nigerian

  25. EE

    February 28, 2017 at 12:17 am

    Dude!!! You too dey tire me. Will you ever reconsider these wrongheaded beliefs you have clutched to your chest “like it were a medal.”????

    I know I’m falling into the trap set by being outraged, but mbah!!!

    To start off, I actually agree sex is transactional, I’ve stated it here and basically everywhere time and time again, no such thing as love, people are simply looking to propagate their genes e.t.c

    But ebe nsobu no dizie is this simplistic idea of blaming it on men. Its that sort of stupidity that irritates me about you third-wavers. The reality:

    I’m sure we’ve all heard the term “a bitch in heat”? are all aware that humans are merely higher animals and have all seen other animals banging. Did men “invent that too” or are we just BOTH merely following our genetic predispositions to procreate?? “Multiply and subdue the earth” as it were.

    Now, why is sex transactional??? Ohh I dunno, maybe because the female wields a ton of power!! Think it through, eons ago, when lizards were in ones and twos, as Cisi’s people would say, there were humans back then in what we historians term the paleolithic, life was well nasty. Living as foragers, in a harsher, colder environment in which we had yet to become the apex predators, what do you think our ancestors would have considered most important??

    If you thought survival, congratulations, hammer on the nail! Now again stay with me here, who held the key to said survival?? Hmmmm, maybe the gender that could I dunno, give birth to the next generation. Again, think it through, women were physically weaker in an age when strength was needed, worse, they became absolutely useless every 9 months or so, consuming scarce food and the ones that cramp up monthly, ohh boy.

    Put yourself in the shoes of a people in a period when infanticide and cannibalism were common place, where the elderly were killed off and eaten (those fairytales you heard growing up, about animals eating their parents in times of famine, yeah that was real and likely our ancestors), so why weren’t women killed off???

    Again, because women held the key to procreation. So again, please stay with me, you the leader of your tribe, you want to survive, to survive, you need………people. Do you:

    A. “Invent a profession FORCING women to sell their bodies”

    B. Pamper women, because you know that any pararam and your future will be miscarried.

    So progressing from there, you can see why “society” has trained men to seek to please women, because most of you have something we prize, supple breasts, well that and the ability to have children, something rather important to us. So important even, that our fellow mammal on taking over a new pride, proceeds to kill all the children of the male that came before, but I digress.

    The important takeaway from Cisi’s proselytizing, third wave feminism IS A CANCER!!!!

    P.S.: No, I need money because I want my children to have a comfortable life, every sane non-feminist knows that money does buy happiness, you’re now equating trying to make my family happy to prostitution???? Dude! Happy Mother=Happy Children=Happy Me when they’re making the family name proud, only a Feminazi would try to make this simple equation rocket science.

    P.P.S.: Then the functionalist school should be drawn and quartered. More sensible people have shown that stable two parent households contribute immensely to better outcomes for children. Try and guess a leading cause of divorce?? Infidelity, wanna guess what sleeping with prostitutes qualifies as??? Now try this simple equation, unhappy, dumber children= ——-Society?

    P.P.P. S.: Do you not look down on Hitler because soldiers had to do the “morally and spiritually” wrong thing of killing to stop his madness??? Dear Nigerians who read BellaNaija, was not joking about that cancer thing.

    P.P.P.P.S.: Well that’s because dear, you’re about to finish the koolaid, but its good to see some part of your Nigerian common sense still lingers, there might be hope still.

    P.S from me: For those of you considering partaking of Cisi’s koolaid, I suggest you look at stats like suicide, alcoholism, depression and notice their massive rise since the feminist era of “liberation”. When you’re done, read up on the decadence that led to the fall of Rome.

    Individuals are all but worthless, 80 years on average and we’re gone, our achievements turn to sand, what matters are the societies we build and strong capable societies require duty, virtue, sacrifice, from both genders. Thousands of years from now, humans on Mars, Titan, wherever will read and admire the Romans as a collective, unless you’re Shakespeare, Caesar or Newton in disguise, I’d suggest we all prove willing to make sure they remember Nigeria too.

    Cisi included.

    • californiabawlar

      February 28, 2017 at 12:48 am

      Yo!!! you have to chill bruh! How chatty are you in real life? dayum.

    • EE

      February 28, 2017 at 1:14 am

      You and @Curious are dealing with confirmation bias, I have a reputation for OCCASIONALLY writing long comments, so when I write long comments, its like I do it all the time. In actual fact, its only occasionally, like 1/20. I’m actually rather shy and withdrawn, but sometimes some things are so dangerously wrong, they have to be refuted, point by point.

      @Curious I’m so sorry, now you’ve read one thing from me that isn’t arrogant and pompous. So you gonna point out out errors, falsehoods or nah?

      I can live with being right, but “convoluted”.

      “I feel sorry for the people who have to put up with you in real life;”: Never heard the Paula Abdul classic “Opposites Attract” I’m guessing. Sorry for hitting a nerve, but online interactions are never that serious.

    • Curious

      February 28, 2017 at 1:03 am

      @EE, typical! Just verbose for no apparent reason. I never read anything from you that doesn’t reek of absolute arrogance and pomposity. In a bid to come off smart, you always write convoluted crap that is never as great as you think it is. I feel sorry for the people who have to put up with you in real life; it must be exhausting! Sheesh!

    • UNN gal..

      February 28, 2017 at 2:39 am

      Hey mama, ogini fio ga???

    • UNN gal..

      February 28, 2017 at 2:37 am

      Bia EE, go and come and either bido your own blog, write a book, join a talk show – moments with Mo, or start your own. This your argument requires back and forth forum/correspondence.
      Stay with you, stay with you, gi na onyekwanu??? lol.. Dont fight, this is a compliment – I already see your claws sticking out…lol. Look for a proper forum to unleash that LIONESS inu?
      Meanwhile, where my Moscato at, I need to catch up with Scandal,BMJ and all things Voila Davis biko…. and of course get some good loving afterwards…..Nka gbasa unu dia!!……lol

    • EE

      February 28, 2017 at 6:06 am

      My claws weren’t/aren’t sticking out. Why would they?? I’m lazy and value my anonymity, a bad combination for creative matters no? So you actually finished the whole thing, nah you sha.

      @Curious, fine then, good thing you aren’t the Mod approving comments. Speaking of rebuttals are you incapable of making them??? Surely my bad thesis ought to be easily disproved no? Merely saying its bad because you think so are the actions of a child. You can’t wish unpopular facts out of existence. Make you points, if you have them.

    • Curious

      February 28, 2017 at 2:43 am

      @EE so this your feeble rebuttal made sense to you? LMAO! I never said anything about you having a reputation for writing long posts; just that this particular one was a pointless thesis! I however stand by my earlier point; you write inane rubbish on here; waffling on about half baked notions. Lmao @ hitting a nerve, you need to get your head out from up under your behind because honey you don’t have what it takes to hit a nerve with me; at best you are like bacne; annoying yes, but not important enough to be a major bother.

  26. tunmi

    February 28, 2017 at 12:39 am

    This was actually a well balanced article in addressing both men and women. I like it. We’ll done Cisi

  27. Las

    February 28, 2017 at 12:56 am

    Ok, so by this logic if all women are prostitutes, then all men are pimps?

  28. oscar

    February 28, 2017 at 1:10 am

    The women are mad about been labelled a prostitute by a fellow woman, but the same women would go on and comfortably claim that all men are cheats…they neva get to accept a slight doze of their own medicine. BTW, why is that when a guy choses not to give that girl the money for her hair or weave or iphone, he is called a stingy guy? before you met the guy, were u not making ur hair before then? were u not recharging ur credit before then? they might not be directly practicing the form of prostitution we see at Allen or Ikoyi, but they definitely have that mentality of such

  29. Arlene

    February 28, 2017 at 2:31 am

    Most ignorant poorly thought out 1st year college basic useless fake philosophy trash per usual!! I mean my goodness!! Who thinks and writes this rubbish?? If you were a prostitute you’d be a bloody lazy one. Do you believe this nonsense excuse for an article with no basic simple critical thinking??… and first of all the monogamy not being natural is so old and obvious BS! We are clearly evolved as a species and yes monogamy is “natural”, we are not cave men/women anymore living in the wild, our evolution does not support polygamy or polyandry, evolution of diseases etc etc. it would take foo Long to correct your poorly thought out write up. Bella Baija why do you troll us with this BS.? Please come again. No matter what a prostitute is a prostitute and can never be compared to a relationship, money or gifts nonwithstanding! How do I even begin to break it down to you….
    And medically speaking of you care to do actual research beyond basic googling or playing in your lazy limited mind? God how do we allow people to put out this stuff? there are issues with having multiple partners which most prostitutes do daily. Sometimes 10 in a day. It’s a dangerous profession , they are abused, brutally beaten, exposed to all sorts of things daily! Pimps who take their money, often taken in as children etc etc. how dare you try and compare or normalize such a horrific thing? Have you ever treated a prostitite? Do you know any? Again please get a brain, do some research and change this stupid though process!! Ugh

  30. temx

    February 28, 2017 at 3:27 am

    cisi expressed herself to the best of her knowledge, but I don’t think a wife and a prostitute can be compared, I get the part of getting something in return for sex, but the duties of a wife doesn’t end in sex, it encompasses of more things that a sex worker can and will never do. Both genders enjoy the sex ,and in marriage its not just about what u get from the sex . its outside/before marriage that sex can be transactional; the man for the pleasure and the lady hair, phone , money or whatever. but your needs change when you are married.

  31. nikky

    February 28, 2017 at 4:50 am

    I agree that society has made sex a commodity, and has portrayed the sellers (often women) as morally bankrupt while the buyers (mostly men) go unscathed. It’s unfortunately people with your type of morality that perpetuate this type of thinking. Women in our society need to realize that what sex workers CHOSE to do with their bodies does not make them any less intelligent, hard working, excellent in other field or genuinely good people.
    In one of my sociology classes back in the day, when we were learning about sexual deviance our professor had a sex worker to come speak to us and surprise it was a student in our class. She was a sex worker who was into BDSM and she was so excited to talk about her life as a sex worker. It was one of my best moments in Uni, she talked about her family’s reaction when they found out through her uncle that was looking to patronize a “mistress” and came across her profile, her boyfriend, some of crazy requests she gets from her clients etc. That class was funny, surprising informative and my professor an older woman kept interrupting to ask about things like what golden showers and things like that meant.
    Honestly that was the day I realized I was really “in the abroad” cus this would never fly in a Nigerian University. Why because we are more interested in imposing our morality on other people rather than learning about people that are different from us.

    Sorry for the long comment.

    • EE

      February 28, 2017 at 6:10 am

      Society (global average) has also portrayed drug dealers (mostly men ) as dangerous, killing or jailing a ton of them, while expressing more sympathy for the users.

      We are all restricted by the mores and values of our society. Mores and values mind you passed down by (mostly) women, who afterall spend more time with their children who grow up to be (mostly) men.

      I’m curious are you arguing against the value of moral strictures in a society?

    • nikky

      February 28, 2017 at 4:35 pm

      The article was talking about how sex is commodity and how the sellers are looked down on. I agree with that, but I feel it happens because of how we (Nigerian society) view women who sell sex particularly prostitutes as immoral.

      You are falsely equating drug dealers with prostitutes. What they do causes a lot of harm and burdens the health system. Drugs are dangerous, they kill people. Sex is awesome, especially when it is between consenting adults and safe.

    • EE

      February 28, 2017 at 7:36 pm

      “You are falsely equating drug dealers with prostitutes.”
      I’m not, they are perfectly equitable in my view, both sell relatively benign products that end up causing damage to some and both are controlled by criminal syndicates.

      “What they do causes a lot of harm and burdens the health system.”
      Technically, no! the most dangerous additives (alcohol+tobacco) are perfectly legal. Overdosing on anything, sex included is harmful.

      “Drugs are dangerous, they kill people. Sex is awesome”
      Sex like drugs if overdosed on, kills too.

      That said, in our present reality, both contribute to societal decay by inviting criminal control. I’m guessing you’ve watched Narcos, so no need explaining the drugs part.

      Prostitution on the other hand, encourages criminality. Think the girls smuggled into Italy, that aside, prostitution by its nature puts a woman and a strange man together, so as to assure her safety, she requires protection. Said protection is always usually criminal. Finally, aren’t most prostitutes coerced into the biz by pimps???

    • Nikky

      February 28, 2017 at 8:27 pm

      In my initial comment I was talking about sex workers who CHOSE their line of work. When they have no say in the selling their body for money that is where criminality comes in and I agree that It causes harm. However, you cannot equate a woman’s choice to sell her body in a safe consenting environment to drug dealers (ie people who sell prohibited substances like cocain, heroin, crack meth etc). It’s is a false equivalence, but I guess we have to agree to disagree.
      I’ve honestly never heard of sex overdose but I agree that too much of everything is bad. Drug overdose on the other hand is rampant and places serious burden on the health system and the society in general.

  32. Keeping it real

    February 28, 2017 at 4:52 am

    I remember a friend of mine that travelled across the pond to study. Anytime I send a simple text, she’ll feel the need to write me an essay, analysing everything. I kukuma told her to make new friends cos something has changed. It was as though she needed to explain to me, the meaning of my texts, her thoughts on my texts, analysis of her response and analysis of my anticipated response and in summary analysis of what she thinks was the reason I sent the text.
    I just deleted her number and blocked her out of my life. Ha!!! Kolo!!!
    All I asked was how are you doing sis…And how is school?

    • Curious

      February 28, 2017 at 3:18 pm

      If you check well, that person na EE relative…LMAO!

  33. Smackdown

    February 28, 2017 at 5:21 am

    Your mama nko?

  34. tobi

    February 28, 2017 at 7:20 am

    I see your point and see that in your EXPERIENCE you believe ALL women are prostitues. However in my Experience not all women use sex as a currency. I do not think your write up is offensive. I feel it depicts your experiences in life, your notion of yourself as a sexual being whether that is mirrored from your experiences from the opposite sex or the females around you. One thing i can honestly share with you is the fact that your views are limiting and myopic. One day when you fall in love you will realise that sharing your body with the person who loves you is the most natural thing on earth. And like most naturally ocurring things, there is no price place on it.

  35. southern

    February 28, 2017 at 9:08 am

    This article doesn’t sit well at all. Something is obviously wrong if you truly believe that the only motive for having sex by any female is because of what she hopes to get in return for doing so. If the idea presented by this article is supposed to be liberating then it’s failed abysmally cos this only seeks to make us accommodate a wrong interpretation of our actions (tying us down so to say). What about the woman who chooses to have a fling for the sole purpose of sexual satisfaction?? What is she a prostitute for?? Affection?? Intimacy?? You are suggesting she’s living a lie, no?? Did you consider the fact that she may have done it solely for her own satisfaction. Different peeps may have their own reasons for the things they do, but don’t come and generalize with that ‘every woman’ crap!!!
    Women should be free to do whatever they want with their bodies, without any one attempting to explain it away by a flawed logic that seeks to validate their own opinions and ideas.
    To the point where the writer calls a wife a prostitute?? Girlfriend, wives are meant to enjoy sex with their partners for the satisfaction it gives, full stop. Whether she is the breadwinner or not.
    Nonsensical article!!

  36. Victor Adegoke

    February 28, 2017 at 9:13 am

    Very interesting article. Cici’s article has its merits and demerits. Labelling every woman a prostitute is really bad. There are still some descent woman around. But our society, is so money-oriented, that even some women get married to a guy for financial benefits! That is what they would get in return.

    Citipoint Global Properties is selling their. Property at ibeju-lekki for 550k per plot. The name of their estate is Kinston Garden located at Ise Community,3 minutes drive from La Campagne Tropicana. It has Government Excision.
    Contact. Segun on 08052467442 for details.

  37. Aint Loyal

    February 28, 2017 at 9:18 am

    Yes, you are not a prostitute but

    1. Every time you come to see me from school, i must pay for your hair, pay to fix your nails, get you clothes, and give you TFC not less than 10k-20k….what is the difference between you and a prostitute.

    2. Whenever it is time for sex, you remind me of that money i said i will give you (when am i going to give you?); you remind me of your business or the cloth/jewelry…that you have always longed for, what is the difference between you and a prostitute? After all you both are bargaining.

    It wont even cost me that much to sleep with a prostitute than you coupled with your emotional garbage and demands.

    3. I met you in the club, we danced together, you followed me to my house, we had sex, you demanded for money…..and yet you claim you are not a prostitute…what is the difference between you both?

    4. I met you today, you claim you still dont know me and all about me, but you said you want an iphone, what are you if you are not a prostitute?

    5. The only set not included in this category are the married wives or gifrlfriends who truly sleep with their guys and demand for nothing in return….You all know yourselves as you read this. Many of you cannot sleep with your boyfriend/husband without demanding for something….just know that you are nothing but a prostitute

    Cisi, better tell them! The generation of girls we have these days ehn, na only God fit save person

    After all, These hoes aint loyal!

  38. Aint Loyal

    February 28, 2017 at 9:20 am

    Yes, you are not a prostitute but

    1. Every time you come to see me from school, i must pay for your hair, pay to fix your nails, get you clothes, and give you TFC not less than 10k-20k….what is the difference between you and a prostitute.

    2. Whenever it is time for sex, you remind me of that money i said i will give you (when am i going to give you?); you remind me of your business or the cloth/jewelry…that you have always longed for, what is the difference between you and a prostitute? After all you both are bargaining.

    It wont even cost me that much to sleep with a prostitute than you coupled with your emotional garbage and demands.

    3. I met you in the club, we danced together, you followed me to my house, we had sex, you demanded for money…..and yet you claim you are not a prostitute…what is the difference between you both?

    4. I met you today, you claim you still dont know me and all about me, but you said you want an iphone, what are you if you are not a prostitute?

    5. The only set not included in this category are the married wives or gifrlfriends who truly sleep with their guys and demand for nothing in return….You all know yourselves as you read this. Many of you cannot sleep with your boyfriend/husband without demanding for something….just know that you are nothing but a prostitute

    Cisi, better tell them! The generation of girls we have these days ehn, na only God fit save person

    After all, These hoes aint loyal!

    • kwinny

      February 28, 2017 at 1:19 pm

      congratulations bro! you have found a business partner aka prostitute. walk away or don’t complain. nobody forced you

  39. all of them

    February 28, 2017 at 9:58 am

    it shall not be well with the person behind approving comments on BN
    You will be sacked soon, watch it
    People will take their time to read, digest and write constructive comments but you will not approve it….not on just this article but others….You will not last…You cant survive it

    If you want to be screening comments, then disable comment section

    • kwinny

      February 28, 2017 at 1:12 pm

      looooooool! my sista! (or brodaaa!!!)

  40. Ime

    February 28, 2017 at 10:46 am

    One of the best thought provoking articles I’ve read in a long while. Hit the nail right on the head.

  41. saide

    February 28, 2017 at 11:09 am

    I am not surprised at this article bcos i think this is period of debasement for the marriage institution.couples that had no biz getting hitched get divorced in 72 days and sudden champions of ‘the women cause’ are been created from broken homes upandan! my day wud always say “ur mom is the reasn y im alive’. u tink it wz always when he had great sex that he wud make that comment? u tink she carried 4 kids bcos he started payin higher bcos d sex got better as they grew ‘older’? One day sum! will cuman say that humans have been greedily breathing air foe too long and starving trees,there will be a name for it and people that folo nd THINK that the persn is correct.

  42. Online Naija

    February 28, 2017 at 11:17 am

    If a woman can say this, then I rest my case.

  43. Baby gurl

    February 28, 2017 at 11:33 am

    I thoroughly enjoyed the writeup. It was thought provoking. Funny. Sad. Downright hilarious. However I’m not so reeled about the fact that she did not recognise, whether subtly or glaringly the fact that there are those women that exist who have never, are not, and would never be in a relationship, married or not, for the monetary “plus”. We dey. We full ground. And from the sex angle, a subset of us are not gonna be a part of it until marriage. No porn or toys inclusive. So there you have it Cisi Eze and fellow comrades in the comment section. Ciao.

  44. kwinny

    February 28, 2017 at 1:17 pm

    Cisi, you’ve startedagain, okwaya? Last time, it was everyone is hypocritical. now, it’s all women are prostitute. I am not a prostitute, it’s probably you. And mind you, I am not judging you, shebi, they said “there’s dignity in labour”? Continue. But, don’t come and generalize with your one-sided and thoughtless analogy. There are women who ARE NOT prostitutes.

    Face your front (your life). Some girls are foolish sha.

  45. anon

    February 28, 2017 at 1:29 pm

    Dear writer
    If your partner knows were your GSPOT is you wouldnt need to trade ANYTHING for SEX, you would be BEGGING FOR IT. Also if you love him you wouldnt need to trade. Maybe the women you are talking about are with there men for money.

  46. Yugo

    February 28, 2017 at 2:16 pm

    Apt.

  47. Mez

    February 28, 2017 at 3:21 pm

    Million likes…

  48. P

    February 28, 2017 at 3:57 pm

    I think the caption was wrong… Well from my own understanding of prostitution I believe it’s engaging in sex with different partners in exchange for money or anything valuable…. Well in the northern region where some of the women are given out in marriage at a very young age without being given the ample time to grow into puberty and sexuality. A place where sex is viewed not as something to be enjoyed but as a duty that must be performed by these women with or without love… Please what are they selling, what are the valuable goods they get????? Pls throw more light on this aspect because i just don’t get it….

  49. Uju

    February 28, 2017 at 6:02 pm

    How did LOVE not find its way into this article and in the comment section?

  50. Maureen

    March 1, 2017 at 4:48 pm

    I read through this post with smile, AND reading through the comments have been quite hilarious too. I am glad I see someone who shares my exact sentiments. We should discourage laziness inn every way.

  51. Feso

    March 1, 2017 at 7:24 pm

    I cannot agree more with this post. Pondered about this as a teenager and arrived at a similar conclusion.

  52. Vic

    March 1, 2017 at 8:37 pm

    Talk against what she wrote all day, but the truth remains; placing dependent financial expectancies on “love” is selling self… POINT BLANK!!

  53. A.M

    March 2, 2017 at 8:00 am

    I simply want to offer a suggestion.. sisters and aunties, let’s find cici eze on all social media platforms and plaster “prostitute” on her various pages. Since we are allyl prostitutes, she’s our leader. Bella naija if you swallow this comment,,recession will hit you ppl this year.

    • e pain you reach dat level?

      March 2, 2017 at 10:08 am

      Since you all are prostitutes, just put “Prostitute” on your own profile and every other person will do….why do you have to go to her own page and do?

      e pain you ba
      deal with it

  54. Tootsie

    March 11, 2017 at 9:21 pm

    I agree with most of the writeup. I always said it that asking a guy for money for ‘this and that’ in exchange for sex is as prostitute as it gets. As a grown ass women, I can decide to sleep with you if I so desire. No strings have to be attached! I do so cos I’m feeling you big time and I REALLY like you!

  55. Tootsie

    March 11, 2017 at 9:30 pm

    I would probaly re-title it ‘every woman has prostitute tendencies’ 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Star Features

Advertisement
css.php