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Peculiar Okafor: I Need an Influential Boyfriend ASAP

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I witnessed something during my lunch break that I just had to share *drags my gossip ijoko‘.

So we were at an eatery when a lady walked in screaming. You know, she was one of these ladies that put the F in fashionably corporate. She was a beautiful lady, but she was screaming, requesting to see the manager. Apparently, her tyre had been punctured because the entrance to the eatery was bad, and a nail or so had spoilt it.

She kept demanding to see the manager and threatening to do something drastic if she didn’t see the manager. Unknown to us, she’d called a vulcaniser in between.

Before we knew it, the police arrived, because the manager had called them. Then I heard this girl shout ‘you called the police on me, I’ll deal with you’. The police men brought their patrol van to tow this car, while the girl kept trying to call someone.

Before we knew it, the team leader of the policemen received a call and almost immediately another call. Then the story changed; they started begging her, telling her they never planned to tow her vehicle. Apparently, this girl had connections up to the highest level, as her boyfriend was extremely influential.

Then the babe started crying, she said ‘so if my boyfriend isn’t influential, my car would have been towed? Am I a thief? Have I committed a crime?’ Your eatery has a bad entrance which is even wrong and for this reason, my tyre was damaged, I have to buy a new one. I know I was angry, but all I wanted was an acknowledgement of the validity of my anger. How can the manager refuse to talk to me when I’m a customer coming to spend my own money for God’s sake? All I wanted was to vent to someone senior and be told sorry.’

Everyone started begging her, even the ones who had previously called her rude. Who would have thought that this young girl driving a Rav4 was that connected up to the IG.

To be fair to her, the workers at the eatery kept saying she comes there everyday and was friendly to all even the cleaners, that she would walk in dancing to whatever music was playing and jokingly ask that they spray her. They had told their manager to go talk to her, because something else must have been upsetting her; but oga manager had to show himself. She later confirmed that she had left a meeting in anger to come and have lunch and cool off and her shouting was transferred aggression.

I learnt a lot from this incident and I’ll share them;

Customer service is an art
From what the staff of the eatery said, she was a customer that came there everyday, so she deserved an audience; but even if she wasn’t a regular customer, the manager should have given her audience. It seemed the babe only wanted to be listened to, and told ‘sorry’ She kept saying,’I can’t be angry and only the guards will be attending to me, I’m going to spend my money for God’s sake.‘ It urned out she had already paid the vulcaniser.

Nigerians have a scary dedication to age and respect
If you hear the way some customers kept saying, ‘This small girl? She should talk respectfully’. I was angry at this because you do not offend a customer, and say she should respect you. Why were people leaving the issue to talk about respect?

Our Consumer Protection Council needs to do their jobs
People’s right need to be protected so that they can feel safe and not have to descend so low, like fighting at the airport etc to get their rights. If CPC or whatever regulatory bod,y had done their jobs, then that incident wouldn’t have happened. The eatery would have been forced to fix their entrance. The babe kept saying ‘an eatery should have a hygienic kitchen, clean surroundings, a hygienic restroom and a f***ng safe entrance’. Abeg, lawyers  and food technologists in the house, is this true?’

Be careful how you treat people
We have heard this a lot, but this story brought it home for me. When the manager called the police, the girl sat down and I heard the manager telling his staff and other customers who were against her ‘see she has calmed down’ Omo, when the calls started coming in, the story changed and everyone started begging.

Finally, Nigeria is a country of connections and levels
There are armed robbers on the street and the police is coming to tow the car of a young girl because one manager of an eatery called them and offered them some little money?
Anyway, I’m looking for my influential bobo so that men can be calling to settle my matter. If you see the way the team lead that was forming before, started shaking… especially when the calls came in. To be honest, I knew the babe was connected when she called the team lead by name and asked him his command.
Nigeria we hail thee.

PS: Aunty Bella, how about you hook up some of your featured writers with correct bobos. Babes can’t be looking for TDHGRT (Tall, Dark, Handsome, Generous, Rich and Tush)  when we have you. Abeg organize a dating/ meet and greet event. Thanks in advance.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

Peculiar is a Marketing communications personnel, she believes that one can have a full life without being bitchy and she wants it all 'A good career, love, laughter, wealth, you name it. She blogs at www.daworkdiva.blogspot.com.ng.. Follow her on Instagram @daworkdiva and Facebook 'www.facebook.com/Daworkdiva'

35 Comments

  1. Iyke

    March 13, 2017 at 3:02 am

    Looking for a tall,dark, handsome,generous,rich and tush boyfriend?Look no further sweetie, there are apostles everywhere.

    • Iris

      March 13, 2017 at 5:14 am

      Ah ah Iyke you’re still here? I thought you and Mz Socially Awkward would be working on the second baby by now

    • Iyke

      March 13, 2017 at 5:25 am

      My sister we have been trying ooo… Waiting on the Lord!
      Actually,we are saving towards our nuptials….the grow together kinda love.
      Plan was initially to have a very quiet and an intimate affair this spring but madam prefers the gathering of igwe mmadu so that we will be sprayed enough money.As madam don talk,we had to reschedule till pepper rest.But e go happen shaa.Our help is the Lord!

    • Peculiar Okafor

      March 13, 2017 at 11:18 am

      Asin eh, Iyke, I’ve already saved money for asoebi oh. IykeMSA 2017.

      If money is the problem, us Bella Naijarians will contribute, I’m sure the BN team will also pitch in.

      Let Madam Bella organize a meet and greet for the rest of us, you are taken by Mz socially awkward..

    • Mz Socially Awkward....

      March 14, 2017 at 1:20 am

      @Sister Iris, no be small working on baby number 2. ??. Abi na through wifi we go take dey born these pikins? ?

      @Sister Peculiar, I came to say “weh done” for your article (it was hilarious + made great points), before Sister Iris waylaid me with this her kweshon. ? Nicely written. ??

      @Brother Iyke, you’re just a case. ??

    • peter

      March 13, 2017 at 12:01 pm

      Haba… u no get church mind ohhhhhh

  2. Las

    March 13, 2017 at 4:29 am

    Too funny…let us know how it goes with finding your TDHGRT.

    • Peculiar Okafor

      March 13, 2017 at 11:22 am

      I’m glad you enjoyed it.

  3. Iris

    March 13, 2017 at 5:13 am

    That’s how they are. The age thing infuriates me. I had an issue with my phone which I got from one of those dumbass fake fancy stores in V/I. I went there three different times and each time they’d have to reset my phone to factory state and I lost my data. On one occasion they even sent me to Ikeja. Give me a new phone now, wahala. Keep in mind that I’d had this phone for less than two weeks. Come and see the manager speaking English, telling me what I had was a warranty (which covers phone fixing) not a guarantee (which is for replacement). The way my mouth hung open in shock…All this time I’d been going in casual clothes or corper’s uniform. After they ‘fixed’ the phone the fourth time in three weeks and it packed up again within one day I deliberately went straight from work wearing corporate attire and heels and makeup. The first thing I did when I entered was to shout that if they didn’t give me a new phone I would shut that place down by taking all the customers with me to the phone place across the street. At first they were snubbing me like I was crazy until an older gentleman customer started listening. When I started talking about my phone issues someone else said she had the same issue and ALL the customers started listening to me and someone started wondering aloud whether they should even buy a phone from them. Then the manager started begging. Bloody idiot.
    Nigerians only respect madness and age, and in some cases for age it only matters if you’re a man.

    • Chi

      March 13, 2017 at 12:26 pm

      If this fancy shop is on Saka Tinubu, I have also had an issue with a phone they sold to me. This happened on the same day it was sold to me.

      Though I am middle aged, when I went back the next day, they were trying to pull the nonsense definition of the warranty thing with me.

      It was my madness and shouting that helped me get another phone of a different brand. It was very embarrassing for them and a lot of customers actually turned back when they heard that the phone I purchased the previous day had packed up. In Nigeria sometimes, the street side of you just comes out because that is the only thing some people understand.

    • Iris

      March 13, 2017 at 1:33 pm

      Lol we are probably talking about the same one

    • Udegbunam Chukwudi

      March 13, 2017 at 1:59 pm

      Abeg make una drop the name oh.

    • Udegbunam Chukwudi

      March 13, 2017 at 1:58 pm

      ????

  4. Pink

    March 13, 2017 at 8:20 am

    Thoroughly enjoyed this!

  5. adambano

    March 13, 2017 at 9:29 am

    LMAOOOO!!!!! Hahahahaha!!! I know too well the power of having an influential bobo!! The happiness and satisfaction I get from showing those so called people that they cant just be talking to people anyhow cant be measured nor quantified!!! I will tell my own tales one day, but I thoroughly enjoyed reading this, super relateable!!!

  6. Obi

    March 13, 2017 at 9:35 am

    Tbh, if you dont show a little bit of madness in this country, you may never get what you want. And truly its good to be connected. It saves you from all forms of nonsense as i have benefited from it before and it kinda felt good. It was a good article/gossip. Thoroughly enjoyed it.

  7. Uberhaute looks

    March 13, 2017 at 9:36 am

    We have no customer care nor care giver attitude in this country. Anywhere you experience great customer service care in this f**king country, know that the person or establishment is run by sane minds

  8. Chaiqie

    March 13, 2017 at 9:39 am

    Simple respect! It doesn’t take away anything from you. The manager could have just heard the lady out, but unfortunately he wanted to show he had connection, but the lady’s connection was super duper that’s why it played out like that. Imagine if it happened to someone ‘not connected’ smh! Police would have tolled her car, she go come dey beg on top her right (I no follow for police na 10k) plus the tyre she will repair. @Perculiar, I understand the struggle. [email protected]

  9. Asa

    March 13, 2017 at 9:54 am

    You forgot one part. The part of the “be careful how you talk to him, he is a married man” or the “I have a wife at home and she cannot talk to me like this”. I bought things from one man and he inflated the prices so badly I paid double for everything I bought from this man. Karma was quick to notify me of his sharp practice even before I left the vicinity of his shop. I went straight back, told him he had defrauded me and asked for my money back. Oga refused and said I was crazy, before I knew it he said he would call the police. I gave him the washing down of his life and asked him to go ahead and call the police. I also told him I would make sure the police when they came showed him pepper. Before I knew it, people in his shop started telling me, “he is a married man o”! Ah ah?! So if a married man is a thief, he should go free? I told them that he should have thought of his married status before stealing from me. If someone’s husband and Father is a thief, I will call him what he is.

    • mallam

      March 14, 2017 at 12:13 pm

      This he is a married man or she is a married woman is a whole different issue, people make it seem as if being married is a licence to get a certain level of respect or attention.

  10. Nelo

    March 13, 2017 at 11:35 am

    Enjoyed reading this. Sadly it is the reality in this country

  11. MadamYe...

    March 13, 2017 at 11:59 am

    LMAO…we have a ‘Consumer Protection Council’ ???

  12. peter

    March 13, 2017 at 12:04 pm

    Miss Peculiar ur TDHGRT (Tall, Dark, Handsome, Generous, Rich and Tush) Is much available just Hala… me okay???

  13. Lacey

    March 13, 2017 at 12:26 pm

    Peculiar Okafor I can relate this article!!! Nigerian eateries , restaurant and hoteliers are overly rude, especially when you come in not wearing a ring, to show you are married!!! I have lovely brothers and guy friends who have stood up for me, especially when a dirty looking manager told me he had a wife at home!!! I told him who , I really do not care about your status,because I can pay your salary for one year!!! See the reason why women rush into marriage and rush out, because they believe a man at their side will give them covering in our myopic society!!!
    At the end these men end up abusing them because of their desperation to marry!!! I do not really give a hoot about what anyone thinks about me!!! I only live to please my Baba God!!! Although I have had excellent customer service from a young chap in Mama Cass on Ajose Adeogun!!! Another bad customer experience I have had is Nigeria banks. especially Access Bank that wants customers to use ATM by force!!!! I was bullied because I wanted to take out money over the counter!!! Access Bank is beginning to go cray cray because there is no where in the world , a bank staff will customer , they can take their own money unless I use ATM, only Access Bank!!! Crazy bunch of nitwits!!!

    • Lala

      March 13, 2017 at 12:54 pm

      @Lacey, was the , …. I can pay your salary for one year necessary. He should respect you as a customer not because you are loaded, I think.

  14. xxx

    March 13, 2017 at 1:23 pm

    Customer service!! in Nigeria just forget it,I had a KFC manager in Bodija Ibadan call me an idiot and other unprintable names because according to him I parked wrongly and I even had the gut to complain and ask him to move his car, sigh! Do I blame him!! No be me carry my money go there.

  15. Abby!

    March 13, 2017 at 1:27 pm

    Peculiar!!!!!! This article deserves to be published everywhere!!! How does age affect the fact that their rubbish entrance spoilt her tyre? And the nerve he had?! calling the Police to tow her car… The problem is not only with the dimwit of a manager, but the police sef follow join the madness. God help this country’s citizens… and to think that my CDS is Consumer Protection Council (irony of life) hehehehhe

  16. Ms B

    March 13, 2017 at 2:42 pm

    Excellent article! Too many issues arise. 1. Should the police be an instrument of personal vendetta? Manager called and they came rushing. If twas thieves now; they would say they have no fuel.

    2. Why on earth should the entrance of an eatery be a hazard???

    3. Not sure of consumer protection agency mandate but it’s worth reporting to them. The phone company in vi falls squarely within their purview. I bot a car battery in Abuja some time back and within 6months it packed up. I promptly reported to CPC and within a month I got my money back 100%. I had initially confronted the seller who said ‘it was my luck’. That statement galvanized me to report and i felt excellent afterwards ☺☺.

    Don’t just assume that nothing works in Naija; take a step and you MIGHT be pleasantly surprised.

    • anon

      March 13, 2017 at 3:58 pm

      exactly, many of these goods and service providers are banking on you deciding to let it go, DO NOT LET THEM GET AWAY WITH TRASH! call them out on their bullshit service, make other customers hear, also report them to CPC and you will get results. companies like Arik and co will keep treating Nigerians like trash cos many people let them get away with it, report them and sue them and see if something won’t happen

  17. Ajala & Foodie

    March 13, 2017 at 5:28 pm

    Am I the only one that has an issue with anger transference? Agreed age has nothing to do with it but when does it become ok to transfer your anger unto another? You know it is all power play ( I.e I have more clout than you), she would and could not vent her anger on colleagues or boss(es) so it was just befitting to take it out on people in seemingly lowly position.

    Granted the manager should have given ear to her complaints especially considering she is a well known customer I.e not known to be given to tantrums I want to believe. Nevertheless, that does not excuse her bad behavior either and that should not be glossed over.

    Why are also quick in assuming the “oga at the top” was a boyfriend? Could it be her father, brother or uncle? I have called my “Aunty” (she is really my much older cousin), who was a top military personnel in Nigeria before and things definitely changed when she stepped in.

  18. dhoney

    March 13, 2017 at 7:15 pm

    ..Looking for a handsome, rich, influential, domesticated, loving, caring, faithful, highly spiritual, 6 ft tall …don’t worry babe…Jesus is coming soon..lol

  19. dee

    March 14, 2017 at 4:10 am

    Customer service in Nigeria? Mostly a tall order and a pipe dream. How can there be good service when functional illiterates run the show? I once asked for a diet coke many many years ago and the clerk at a popular fast food place in Ibadan told me that all the drinks were one 7 the same. Also, at another fast food place, i spied one of the cooks eating rice from the main course with her bare hands. Shocked, i called the Manager who left me perplexed when the first thing that came out of his mouth was that she was reducing rations or portions. He never even saw the safety issue.

  20. Nubia

    March 14, 2017 at 3:38 pm

    This reminds me of my visit to one so-called highbrow hospital on Bourdillon, IIkoyi just last Friday. I arrived at the hospital at about 3.45pm only to be told by the receptionist that there was no Doctor or medical personnel to attend to me because they were all in a general staff meeting. She further added “even i should be at the meeting”. I was shell shocked and had to ask “Madam, is this a hospital or hotel”. She responded that it was a hospital and walked right into my trap. Again i asked what she would do if a patient was rushed in as an emergency that minute to which she responded saying “that will be different”. I further asked when the meeting was likely to be over to which she non nonchalantly answered that she had no idea. At this point i was seething in anger and my voice immediately went from its normal tone to about 100 decibels. Shuo! is this a hospital or hotel i asked again? By the time i finished screaming the house down demanding to be seen by a doctor immediately, one kind member of staff intervened by calling the most senior doctor out of the meeting to attend to me. Imagine! every single staff in a hospital all going into a meeting leaving no one to attend to patients coupled with a nonchalant receptionist.
    It was later i learnt that the hospital had recently changed management and staff had not been paid since January. But still…….!

  21. Enny Heart Heart

    March 14, 2017 at 10:18 pm

    That was how I went to genesis cinema while visiting Port Harcourt with my bobo. We wanted to see different movies and he’s had started so he left me. I decided to wander around and found myself in the bar lounge. That was how two older looking men just started talking rubbish to me, when I couldn’t ignore them anymore, I stood up to leave and one grabbed my hand trying to pull me to him. I shoved him back and he grabbed both my phones from my hand, telling me if I wanted my phone’s back I should sit on his lap.
    I walked out and reported to the bouncer at the entrance, after listening to me he went in to check on the guys but after their conversation he just left and went back to his post. See my shouting like a mad woman! Demanding to see the manager, and no one answered.
    I then went into the theatre where I knew my guy was seeing his movie and literally dragged him out, cos he thought I was joking. When he didnt see my phones with me, he didnt even talk much. Just called the DPO, who called the CSO of Genesis, then the bar manager appeared and made a show of kicking those two men out.

    I swear my bf nearly punched one of them in the face as he was giving me back my phones. Bunch of a.holes.

  22. Ameh's love

    March 16, 2017 at 12:17 pm

    ummmm my pain is when i see the “cars are parked at owners risk” sign even with the presence of well armed security men and i do wonder if the security men are statues or robots.

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