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4 Things to Note Before You File Those Immigration Documents for Your Nigerian Bae

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Exhibit 1:
Phillip meets Irene at a wedding; he gets the information that she is a doctor from the US visiting for Christmas and he immediately imagines how fabulous life would be with her resources and connections abroad.
Although a retired Yahoo boy, old habits die hard. He knows he is handsome and has the swag. Luckily, he isn’t doing too badly financially either. His job does not pay much, but the title is quite fancy and he has enough cash on the side to play the game.

He introduces himself to Irene and they exchange numbers. Irene is in her early 30s. Her friends are all married. There are very few single Nigerian men in the US, and she had never gotten attention from anyone as handsome as Phillip. Although her family warns her against this man and she has her suspicions too, she kicks off a relationship with him. He couldn’t be out to scam her. She is Nigerian like him, only she is also a citizen of the US.

Before long, Phillip tells her he loves her and shares his vision of furthering his studies abroad. He does not want to spook her by suggesting he moves in with her abroad and gets married to her. He even refuses to collect any money from her and insists on paying for the first part his tuition on his own.
Phillip’s plan is to travel to the US, get married to the lady, get her pregnant so that she is persuaded to make investments in their name; that way, she cannot divorce him and leave him dry. He would be married to her and live the kind of life he wanted anyway. He would not have to give up his womanizing way.

Phillip applies to any random school in the US. The idea is to just cross over. Irene is too obsessed with him to think straight. Luckily, Phillip’s visa is approved. He moves to the US. He spends the first few weeks with Irene before heading to his campus. He proposes to her before he starts his schooling too. Before long she is giving him pocket money and supporting him with the hope that she is investing in the bone of her bones. They come back to Nigeria a year later to hold their traditional wedding. Irene feels safe spending her money on everything because, well, he is still a student.

While in Nigeria for the wedding, Phillip reconnects with his ex-girlfriend who he now realises is his soul mate. He promises to bring her over to the US too. After the wedding, he travels back to the US with Irene. Phillip applies for a green card. Things are no longer the same. He starts to cheat on her just to spite her. Everything about Irene irritates him. Even her pregnancy does not sway him. He starts to abuse her both verbally and physically. The minute the green card is processed, he asks for a divorce. Meanwhile, his ex is finally in the US and also with child. Irene finally realises she has been scammed but is too ashamed to report to the authorities.

Exhibit 2:
Bertram, a white German meets Nigerian girl, Lola, on a dating site. He falls in love with her very quickly. She tells him about her life and how difficult it is for her in Nigeria. He sends her money and after a while, she insists that he visits her in Nigeria.

Upon visiting Nigeria, he marries her at the Apapa marriage registry in Lagos. All through his stay in Nigeria, he never meets her family or siblings. They spend all their time at his hotel. He leaves after 2 weeks and files a petition for her to move to Germany as his wife. After a rigorous process, she is granted a visa and she heads to Germany. Bertram is excited to finally welcome his wife to his homeland. He waits to pick her from the airport. Her flight is announced but she still doesn’t show up. After about two hours of waiting, he goes to the airline’s booth. He confirms that she was actually aboard the flight and certainly arrived Germany – only, she was missing.

He is not willing to accept the fact that Lola had pulled a fast one on him. He tries to get the police involved for a search. He insists she’s been kidnapped. The police start the search. A week later, he gets an email from Lola apologising for the scam and explaining that her real husband was a Nigerian in Germany hustling and she had been looking for a way to reunite with him. She wishes him good luck with his life. Bertram not only loses about 15000 euros in total on Lola, he has his heart broken.

***
The two scenarios above are actually mild cases of Nigerians pulling love and marriage cons on foreigners for green cards and citizenship. It is amazing how so many stories have been reported over the years, yet, people still fall victim to this kind of scam. Even the Nigerian baes who scam, no longer want to spend money on sham marriages where they pay a foreigner to marry them for citizenship. They want it all free, even if it is all to the detriment of the other party.

Some people have actually argued that the Nigerians dumping their “oyibo” spouses, to get freedom is not necessarily a scam. It could be the normal consequence of a bad marriage. This argument is based on the belief that people change after marriage and sometimes fall out of love. They make promises during the honeymoon stage of their relationships or courtship, but when the reality of life sets in, their real character starts to surface. But, Why did the Bae have to wait till after the green card was sorted to fall out of love? Why did they wait to gain entrance into the foreign country before they realised their foreign spouse who gave them the best opportunity they ever had, was super irritating?

On the other hand, a few Nigerian men and women who have scammed foreigners and gotten them to agree to marriage have ended up living with the foreigner, even staying married for life. You can literally see of these Nigerian scammers worshipping the very grounds their foreign spouses walk on. In fact, the most baffling are when you find men who were once misogynists, fiercely independent and proud acting soft, sensitive and overly romantic, chasing after their “Oyibo” wives. Such sights make you wonder what initiated the transformation and how their heart and soul was touched.

The truth is that a number of these transformed men have warped mentality that makes them believe that everything white is good and desirable and so must be had! Therefore, “owning” the foreign spouse makes them feel abundantly blessed and grateful.

Of course, Nigerians are not the only ones who engage in this callous game, but it is important that foreigners, who somehow find themselves with a Nigerian Bae, stay sharp and keep their eyes wide open when filing papers.

No Physical Contact, No Travel
If the romance has been completely virtual and you have not seen each other or had any physical contact, please, “hep us to hep you!” DO NOT, under any circumstance, assist them with any travel application. If their excuse is that they want to come and see, and the love is really ‘shacking’ you too, tell them not to stress themselves and insist on visiting them instead. In the case where you have agreed on marriage, tell them not to bother relocating to your country, you will relocate to theirs.

Instant Love? Run!
If he told you he loves you after a few hours and proposed after a few days. Please dust your shoes and run. Love, no matter how real, can never be that deep or magical. Also, if they kick off a sexual relationship immediately after they first meet you in person, be alarmed. He or she is probably trying to hold you down and turn your brain to mush with the power of what they have between their legs. It could even be some kind of Juju, you never know. Keep yourself and observe them first no matter how your body is ‘sweeting’ you.

Meet the Family
Have you met their family? How involved are your families? Of course, it is possible that they work with their family members to pull off the scam. Basically, if they hit the jackpot with you, the family will stand to gain from it as well. But then, from the Nigerian point of view, it is not normal for someone to be getting married and not have family members around. Even if they are marrying a witch, a few people will still show for the Jollof rice and Fanta. If he/ she keeps you completely away from their family, it means something extremely suspect is going on. Their plan may be to marry you quietly, get the papers and get divorced quietly without anyone knowing.

Obvious Poverty & Mismatched Financial Status
Is the bae from a poor background? If you have come all the way from Canada to visit your Nigerian bae and the two of you are jumping Moluwe and eating from Mama Iyabo, please, shine your eyes because very soon, OYO(on-your-own)will be your case. You are being scammed. This is not to dissuade the kind love that conquers social status and financial barriers. It is also not to suggest that anyone should not love a person from a ‘humble’ background. But to be honest, someone from a good or even ‘ok’ background in Nigeria won’t stoop so low to scam you.

Another point flowing from this is, the question of how long before Bae started showing interest in what you do, how much you make and your financial standing? How long also did it take before they started asking you for loans or even upkeeps? Again, ask yourself: who is financing the relationship, the traveling to meet each other, the marriage events, the paper processing, e.t.c.? Are you both carrying the weight or is it all on your shoulder? In the case where you are already married, mysterious spending or “missing” money and constant pressure from the Bae to buy property in your foreign country or overseas that they can lay claim on should there be a divorce, are red flags.

Have you ever fallen victim to a Nigerian Bae’s love scam? What were you experience filing papers for them…and what was your reward? Please share in the comment section below.

Photo CreditMonkey Business Images | Dreamstime.com

Nkem Ndem is an energetic and highly accomplished Media Consultant who loves to help small businesses, especially women-led, grow their online presence using the right digital strategy or transition from traditional organizational boundaries. With years of experience in Copywriting and Editing, Content Branding and Strategy, Social media, and Digital Marketing, she is clearly obsessed with Digital Communications. She is the Head of Content and Lead Consultant at Black Ink Media - an Ideation and Content Agency that excels in providing fresh, creative digital services to content-centric businesses. Find out more about her at www.blackinkm.com or send her an e-mail at [email protected] Also follow her on IG: @nkemndemv, Twitter: @ndemv.

73 Comments

  1. Tinuke

    April 12, 2017 at 2:26 pm

    RUBBISH. im Canadian
    ive been married for over 7 years to a man that i met on a 5 day visit to lagos. best decision of my life. He was actually making about 183k per month in Lagos and he came here with nothing (about 5oo$) and we just bought our first home April 1st this year. Trust me i barely made any contributions to the home. he is now a Business Analyst and we also have a set of twins.

    dont let peoples bad experiences ruin yours.

    • Baymax

      April 12, 2017 at 2:46 pm

      For every one case of good experience, there’re ten cases of bad experiences so don’t call her article Rubbish.

      A few days ago, a commenter advised someone who asked for advise on how to get permanent residence in a foreign country after the end of his programme to “knock one akata up and marry her”. Several likes on his comment and a commenter hailing him showed that it is not an uncommon tactic to use.

      Besides, you don’t know tomorrow. Some take years before showing their true colours, especially when certain situations arrive.

      So thank God that your case was different, recognizing that all cases are not the same.

    • Tinuke

      April 12, 2017 at 2:51 pm

      Yimu. Bad experiences seem to ring louder. How many Africans in the diaspora are successfully married to people they got papers for.
      Marriage in general is HARD. we have to careful with generalisations. take any of the bad experiences and remove the issue of papers from it, you will find that it happens in all marriages Period.

      i cant emphasise enough use your own brain in all circumstances.

    • Tinuke

      April 12, 2017 at 2:55 pm

      If at this point anything happens in my marriage i wont say its because i gave helped him get papers. I feel like that was my part to play as a team our partnership.
      that would be quite dumb and self deprecating of me to assume he has left me after i helped with his papers.. IM realistic enough to know that just like EVERY other marriage out there nothing is guaranteed.

    • Whocares

      April 12, 2017 at 2:50 pm

      Exactly! Can we spread more positive stories!!?!!!!

    • Gloria

      April 12, 2017 at 2:51 pm

      Sorry Tinuke, point of correction, this is not rubbish.! Your experience might be a good one but I have friends with worst experience than that. I think it’s important that someone educate us about these issues. My Nigerian friends born in the UK and USA need to know this. These are not made up stories, they are real. They have been successful marriages but not all. I think that this article is telling us to open our eyes and don’t be fool by love. #imhappilymarried

    • Ferrie

      April 12, 2017 at 3:02 pm

      Oh please. Everyone knows someone who has scammed or being scammed for papers. You should acknowledge the fact that you are an exception. Just because you have had a great experience doesn’t mean you should disregard all the bad experiences out there. Simply say this advice is not for you and keep it moving instead of saying “rubbish” when statistically speaking, your isolated lucky break is not the norm and you using your singular experience to generalize is the “rubbish” here.

    • Nuna

      April 12, 2017 at 3:23 pm

      LOL dont discredit this article just because you were lucky.

    • Tinuke

      April 12, 2017 at 4:12 pm

      I dont think i was lucky. neither was i an exception to the rule and i feel like the writer could have been more balanced in her approach. but i still give Kudos to the writer for even bringing up the topic at all.
      . There are just as many success stories as there are the bad ones. if not that i had time today. I wouldn’t have commented. and all the comments here would just be a negative rhetoric.

      Marriages are hard in general

    • Nuna

      April 12, 2017 at 4:48 pm

      OH well you were still lucky. Many have not been

    • madman

      April 12, 2017 at 3:25 pm

      She had been FASTING and PRAYING for a HUSBAND. Why won’t she marry him in TWO (2) DAYS.

    • osa

      April 12, 2017 at 7:11 pm

      Infact tinuke is fighting some serious insecurities and looming issues . Your husband may be the most patient bird. So it wont seem obvious tuat is what he married u for. He might have even told himself that it was all he needed in a woman and you were the first one he came across to hit the specs . After 5 days! 2 desperados ???

    • Memoir

      April 12, 2017 at 3:34 pm

      Tinuke you are right and so is the writer. Every experience is different. The writer wrote from their experience and you are narrating from yours. We all need to work out our own way in life. Is your man’s name Chima? Sound like a guy I know and he has twins too. All the best.

    • Olushola

      April 12, 2017 at 5:42 pm

      Well as much as you think this article is rubbish……its just an eye opener on what is going on and the kinda negative image Nigerians have abroad…….i believe in the fact that you can love and get married in months if it’s “TRUE” and both parties are sincere, I’m married to a citizen myself and I’ve heard a lot of stories especially from those negatively affected by all the scams and all but that still didn’t stop my wife and I getting married. You are not lucky to have your own man but you’re blessed with someone with a good heart and intention, some have not for whatever reasons. I pray God continue to keep you both and I pray same for myself.

    • AsMyself

      April 12, 2017 at 6:08 pm

      You are quite the rude one! Simply state your case and keep it moving without rubbishing an article that someone took time and pains to write. Better still, write your own and state your perspective and watch people rubbish it. Haha!

    • Omoj

      April 12, 2017 at 6:21 pm

      The article is just telling others who may not been as lucky as you to be careful. It is not rubbished. I almost fell for one. He even bought a land in Nigeria in my name. It doesn’t get any better than that. Thanks to my dad who stated that he feels uncomfortable with a man making such a great investment on a girlfriend. He asked I take it slow. Months later, the boyfriend asked when are we getting married because he needs to tidy all things in Nigeria and move abroad as he is tired of the wait. Well I said I will prefer to move to Nigeria instead. That was it, he broke it off. Needless to say that the land was returned.

    • osa

      April 12, 2017 at 7:05 pm

      Tinuke you are sounding unreasonable and so defensive. The write-up is brilliant! Are you sure your superman bae is not beginning to exhibit the signs in the write-up?
      If you put yourself in jeorpardy relationship and it worked for you, congrats. But dont underscore the essence of this advice

  2. Tinuke

    April 12, 2017 at 2:28 pm

    i should also mention he proposed within the 5 day trip.
    EVERY SITUATION IS UNIQUE – use your brain in all circumstances

    • Abi

      April 12, 2017 at 3:07 pm

      You are just one of the lucky few! Thank God it worked out so well for you but this writer made a lot of sense in this write up! Apart from you, I actually have never heard of any success story relating to this issue. I am British and lived here practically my whole adult life and every story I have heard/read about sums up this writer’s point.

    • Baba

      April 12, 2017 at 3:30 pm

      You roll with the wrong people.Do you know how many partners left a good job to live with their spouses abroad.Like everything,marriage is difficult,regardless of paper or not. Most of these bad experiences were pre-democracy,when it was difficult getting a visa to the western world.Any Nigerian man or woman who knows his onions these days will not leave whatever they are doing in Nigeria to leave abroad.I have seen the nos reduced since I migrated.

    • Biker Chic

      April 12, 2017 at 3:47 pm

      Good man wanted to go to the abroad, he met miss available and desperate. Shit happened. Enjoy ur marriage.

    • Celine

      April 12, 2017 at 4:40 pm

      I’m so sorry Tinuke but you got lucky! Someone proposed within 5 days of knowing you. And it never crossed your mind that……okay o..
      This article is very apt, also there are scammers that are based in the US who come to Nigeria looking for wealthy older women to marry and steal from them. Use your church mind to judge and let God guide you.

    • Jade

      April 12, 2017 at 6:17 pm

      Madam Tinuke, your story is an exception. Take it easy. You are one in a million cases. He proposed within the 5 day trip?
      Did you guys know each other prior? Were you guys introduced to each other? Or you both met fresh within the five days and there was a proposal. I’m not sure what to think. But that’s not everyone’s story.
      My cousin is married to a man that was on a visit in the U.S. There definitely wasn’t any proposal that soon, they dated for two years. They fell in love and are happily married for 5yrs now. Of course, she filed for him. But true love was first.

    • Bebeone

      April 12, 2017 at 8:49 pm

      You should have just stopped commenting after the first.. you sound like you are holding a mic.. aunty we’ve heard you. Yours was a good experience. Bye now ?

  3. OJ

    April 12, 2017 at 2:31 pm

    My wonderful bros got scammed or let me say was used by his ex wife…hooked up with this girl in naija, got married and filed for her papers to come to obodo oyibo US of A…within a short space of time, wifee got residency papers and things began to happen at home. Next thing police got involved, she claimed rape, she claimed assault, bro was arrested but later released…to cut the story short, marriage ended sharp sharp and she lives with another guy in the same US of A! end of story!!!!

    • madman

      April 12, 2017 at 3:48 pm

      There are more stories like this. So sad.

  4. Tinuke

    April 12, 2017 at 2:34 pm

    I keep going back to read the article and i get livid.

    YES We entered bus in Lagos welllla!. when we married we got married his apartment was one where you had to jump gutter to enter. and i remember we ate mama put wella! very very well. his family house was in Ojota sef .

    There were days when i thought what was i putting myself into. and then i came to a point where i realised that if i Really liked this dude and he liked me too why wont i go out of my way to help him get his papers. I really couldn’t have asked for a better husband.

    Dont let these kind of articles make you miss your soulmate.
    im sure im not the only one with this kind of story. i wish more people would come out and talk. too many people are guided by materialism and miss out on greatness.

    go figure.

    • CovertNigerian

      April 12, 2017 at 3:01 pm

      If I may ask, did you meet your husband by chance? or did someone introduce you guys? A meeting and proposal within 5 days is quite uncommon. If you can, please share more about the circumstances.

    • Snazzy

      April 12, 2017 at 3:04 pm

      Please, take a chill. It is not about you. If it worked for you then all well and good. There are many it did not work for. But then you may have been desperate for marriage. Who marries someone they have only seen in a totak of 5 days?

    • madman

      April 12, 2017 at 3:09 pm

      She had been FASTING and PRAYING for a HUSBAND. Why won’t she marry him in TWO (2) DAYS.

    • Tinuke

      April 12, 2017 at 3:29 pm

      I got married at 25! i wansnt even at a time in life where i thought i was ready for marriage. it might have been a prayer point for my parent. but CERTAINLY not for me at that point in time.

      if fasting and prayers were my situation, i also have no shame if it was a situation where i fasted and prayed and my wants were answered. afterall what are prayers for. lol., i dont know when this became an abuse.

    • madman

      April 12, 2017 at 3:36 pm

      It is not an abuse, wondering why you are DISMISSING someone else’s experiences. Your stories are all right. There are no right or wrong answers.

    • iyke

      April 12, 2017 at 3:18 pm

      My question is ‘ What is actually in this so called ‘PAPER’ bullshit? I have seen a lot of the so called folks with papers abroad, actually doing nothing and living off the state.
      ‘There are no men in US,UK,Ireland and Canada’ they say…yet won’t marry the ones in Nigeria without accusing them of scamming or loving them for their papers.Has the so called ‘papers’ become a curse for the eligible single ladies?
      My advice – find love where ever you are and move on with your life. And if you happen to fall in love with someone in Nigeria, ask the important questions and help him/her come over if that is the case.If it works, awesome, if it doesn’t, life goes on.

    • Mama put

      April 12, 2017 at 3:27 pm

      Sounds like desperation to me

    • Corolla

      April 12, 2017 at 4:15 pm

      @Tinuke, you are exasperating! This article is not about you. There are many cases where these marriages work out, and also many where it turned out to be a scam. We all acknowledge that It is not a one size fits all, but the article is simply saying “shine your eyes”, as there have been countless cases where one partner had ulterior motives. Now, please give it a rest and don’t pop an artery…dang!

    • AsMyself

      April 12, 2017 at 6:04 pm

      please loud it! I don’t get why she is taking it so personal. Hian!

    • Tinuke

      April 12, 2017 at 7:12 pm

      I agree. i ‘over commented’ honestly, oro yen ka mi lara ni.

    • m4

      April 12, 2017 at 4:49 pm

      There is something quite off about your cinderella story.I just can’t really figure it.out,but the whole thing doesn’t sound legit.

    • Mymind

      April 12, 2017 at 7:50 pm

      Goddammit Tinuke shut up! This article is NOT ABOUT YOU! Jesus Christ! Why would you denigrate this article just because your case was different? Oh I forgot, the world revolves around you abi? Your story is everybody’s story abi? How ridiculous! RME
      This article is not for you, obvi, but to discredit it is to pretend that there aren’t people out there who are about to take the plunge with a stranger now or in the future. When did writing a word of caution become a crime??????? Ehn???????? Those of us who KNOW PEOPLE AFFECTED by this issue find your comments arrogant, disgusting, selfish and quite frankly offensive. For me, it triggers the anger and pain I felt for my dear friend in Pennsylvania who was scammed and who until today is afraid to get married again. For her sake, and for anyone out there affected by this, please shut up and swerve!

    • Bebeone

      April 12, 2017 at 8:52 pm

      Thought you mentioned 100k monthly ..

    • person

      April 12, 2017 at 9:56 pm

      All this wella happened in 5 days? #solomongrundi thins.

    • Indigo

      April 13, 2017 at 1:39 am

      Shut up please..
      It’s okay..
      You where lucky..
      Doesn’t warrant calling the post rubbish..

  5. MisFit

    April 12, 2017 at 2:47 pm

    I think some things in this article can be misguided if you take it all word for word. A rich guy can also be wanting to cross the border and still pull a fast one on you, so wealth is not necessarily a determinant for whether you’ll be shammed or not. I’ll definitely say take time out to study this person, but we all know that some people can pretend for Africa…Based on logistics, just be wise sha!

  6. Whocares

    April 12, 2017 at 2:48 pm

    As an immigration solicitor, this is quite fatalistic and very unhelpful article. I say unhelpful because in the current political and social climate, writing pieces like this that aims to “educate and point out the dark side of immigrant love” doesn’t help anyone. I’m not saying these instances aren’t real, but they are the stories always bandied about when you hear of two so called mismatched couples, so really and truly the article is another story in a sea of million negative kinds not actually helping anyone. Who does the article purport to help? The love drunk “better migrants?”, The so called immigration scammers? It might be that I am being too sensitive to immigration issues considering the trump/ Theresa may nonsense going about where attitudes to immigrants and immigration is anything but positive and people are starting to initiate that thought and behaviour as it concerns immigrants; I don’t rate this at all.

    • Memoir

      April 12, 2017 at 3:38 pm

      @whocares of course you do not rate the article because as an immigration solicitor, it is bad for business. Typical soul-less Nigerian. You read from a standpoint of gain and monetary aspect. Next time read from the soul and you will have a better deductive reasoning and judgement.

    • Whocares

      April 12, 2017 at 4:05 pm

      Lmaooooo. Boy are you stupid. You think what I wrote was from a soulless perspective? When my main point was about the way immigrants are being treated by society and the stance Trump and therase may have taken against immigrants which is ridiculously harsh, as well as the racist reactions towards immigrants daily.. if you did not get that from what I wrote, you are too ignorant for me to even talk to or reply; but I will, just so it is in black and white nonetheless and can swrve as the first point of education for your ignorant ass. Now, Google is your friend darling, run along to it now and get learned! Btw the things I have seen as an immigration solicitor is what makes the article ridiculous to me as it paints the people I have met as opportunist and they are rarely that.

    • o

      April 12, 2017 at 4:04 pm

      Are you based in USA or Canada please?

  7. Olu

    April 12, 2017 at 3:07 pm

    @ Tinuke, God bless you

    Let’s be real here. Love is no longer blind. we all go into it for one thing or another …love, companionship, fame, wealth, comfort, religion, children, whatever. A lot have gone into it for either or some of these things and they ended up finding more or less. IT IS A RISK! …worth taking? you are free to answer that.
    Outsiders may think you left the marriage because you got your papers, but what if you actually left for some other reason (emotional or physical abuse or incompatibility or maybe your spouse keeps reminding you that they made you??) A lot of such people keep quiet (mostly guys) so people are quick to come to their own conclusions.
    A lot of eligible people have missed out on good guys or girls because of articles like this ….I live in the U.S and know a LOT of couples who were paired up to help themselves in one way or another and they’re still going strong. There are also those who didn’t end well for one thing or another. but I know for sure the number of success stories far exceed the negatives.

    If you good about the relationship you are in..whether the person is poor or not, use ur head and go for it….again… is it a risk worth taking?

    Thank God for people like Tinuke….I’m glad your choice worked for you and you spoke up for him.

    In every aspect of life, there is good and also bad. Will you shut your eyes because you think everything is bad? that would be such a waste.

    Apply caution and follow your heart.

  8. Gloria

    April 12, 2017 at 3:10 pm

    Now listen, we all travelled back to Nigerian for my uncle’s wedding to a lady he had been seeing for 3 years. On the traditional marriage day, all Igbo traditions were performed, whole family were present from far and near. After marriage, bride went missing with the money collected on wedding day. For 4days, no one knew where she was. We started searching, police and everything. We found her at Lagos airport with her boyfriend who stupidly thought that he could board the plane with my uncle’s passport and airticket to USA. Although he had bribed customs at the airport to change the ticket date. They were both apprehended and arrested. Again, we should all open our eyes and be educated.

    • Authentic Sunshine

      April 12, 2017 at 10:42 pm

      Say Whaat! !!!! ?. Just when I think I’ve heard it all. Something comes along and tops it.

  9. madman

    April 12, 2017 at 3:10 pm

    I will say this, money is NOT everything. Find someone with whom has qualities that you seek. Hardworking, humble, kind… Papers sef is not everything. REAL MEN LOVE LAGOS.

  10. Be warned

    April 12, 2017 at 3:14 pm

    People, be careful.

    Tinuke may be a guy/girl who is planning to scam/has scammed a victim and is pissed that this article is published.

    Keep going back to read the article, you hear?

    I personally know and have heard of people who have scamed and are scamming both Nigerians with citizenship abroad and foreigners.

    Be warned.

    The economy is so bad that even people from the ok class who have good jobs in Nigeria are doing it o. Once they hear “green card”, they become past all normal sense.

    • Tinuke

      April 12, 2017 at 4:08 pm

      Im not a scammer. im pretty sure i dont sound like one either.
      My advise to all ; Use your brains and be vigilant.

      None of the indicators mentioned in this article are a sign of a deceitful spouse.
      That a man falls in love with you quickly doesn’t mean he is fraudulent. maybe you are easy to love. maybe he wears his heart on his sleeve.

      that someone is from a different background from you or ”poor” doesn’t mean that he isnt looking for love too. or isn’t the man you want to grow with . dont go into a marriage with a poor person expecting he will become rich. ask yourself. if everything remains the same will I still love him. i remember feeling like if i failed at life and marriage i would still be OK with my choice of spouse.

      Be sensible, be reasonable, be wise! above all . approach things with a pure heart.
      Don’t marry out of desperation. I’m Happily married but marriage isn’t an end all be all.
      know they type of person you are first it will help you find a good spouse.
      whether in Nigeria or Abroad, always look for the goodness in people.

      Also people who are able to find a balance in self love or being critical of themselves are also able to do the same with others. when you can judge a person properly you are less likely to fall into trouble.

      The good thing about this article and my harsh comment (giving myself some credit here) is that it has sparked up the conversation. if you are making your decision to marry someone based off an article or my comment, you are not ready to make the grand decision of choosing a lifelong partner

      i cannot emphasise enough use your own rain to judge your decisions.

  11. o

    April 12, 2017 at 3:18 pm

    I have a friend who relocated to the UK in (1999). I always tell her to have an open mind when she visits Nigeria. She said NO she’s scared because of stories like these. She’s almost 37. I know ppl are wicked but if that’s all you think of, you’ll be grey and still alone. She really wants to settle down (with a Nigerian). Don’t know why it hasn’t worked with Nigerians based in the UK but she just won’t give someone here a chance because they just might be using her for papers.

    My advice will be use your brain and follow your heart. There’s a place for common sense and a place for love. If it’s feels wrong, it probably is. But I know a lot of ppl who relocated due to a partner filing for them and they are truly happy together. We need to hear more of the positive stories too.

    • DNice

      April 12, 2017 at 10:38 pm

      @O
      Tell your friend good men are still in Naija and the PRO of Association of Good Men (AoGM) will like to meet her If she is willing.
      [email protected]
      Take a chance

    • DNice

      April 12, 2017 at 10:40 pm

  12. concerned9a

    April 12, 2017 at 3:47 pm

    Hypothetically speaking….if say a Genevive or Banky type met someone from the Diaspora….they are chances it would work..why?…exposure!!
    Reason for some of these problems is….some folks need to be in control and as a consequence hook up with someone not quite on the same wavelenght…
    Now what do you think is going to happen??

    • Chika**

      April 12, 2017 at 9:45 pm

      You are so right!!!! It is all about controlling them. I know of someone that left his girlfriend of 6 years to marry a 22 year old girl in Naija. He controls everything and the girl works for him too. If she happens to get a job somewhere else and stops doing everything like she used to because she is tired…na that time yawah go enter. He would now say she is disrespecting him. The girl is young and probably doesn’t know who she really is. A couple of them I know of that went to Naija to marry, they are all having problems with them now. You can’t control someone forever you know.

  13. Puzzles

    April 12, 2017 at 3:49 pm

    Hahaha. Typical.

    26 comments already.

    Nkem, this is the market. Once “relationship” and “marriage” is mentioned, comments shall flow.

    Really nice article by the way. Not all cases are the same though but the bad cases seem more. Two guys i know have married foreigners last year to escape Naija’s harsh economy. Na so we see am.

  14. demash

    April 12, 2017 at 3:57 pm

    Exhibit III: #Yorubademon from my home state starts to date nice young lady working in the branch of my the bank I have an account with. They date for a few months and he relocates to America on a GC, comes back home a short year after to marry her and puts her in the family way. I see her heavily pregnant and asks about hubby and when she’s travelling over to give birth. Then I discover guys reluctance to bring her over – apparently an American babe is now in the picture. Lady gives birth earlier this year and I visit and attend the naming. Grandma is so welcoming and I figure something is amiss. Lady tells me Husby is not excited about the baby and cannot confirm when he’ll come around. Lady call last week, husby is around and has agreed to have a baby dedication next week. Apparently husby has another baby in Yankee with suspected American side-chick with incontrovertible evidence. Husby has gone to visit his people in the village to come back in time for dedication. She tells me she’s gonna leave him and drop bombshell on dedication day while presenting hardcore evidence to Family and Friends. I agree with and tell her she deserves much more and would see her and baby when I return from a trip. The guy is a total jerk.

    Exhibit IV
    Friends sister introduced to a guy from their State. She only gets to see him physically 2 weeks to wedding. They come meet me in the airport some 9 months after their marriage (she went to join him 3 months prior) to send stuff home. They look happy together.

  15. Fola

    April 12, 2017 at 5:26 pm

    The truth is most of the people that claimed to have being scammed for paper would have seen warning signs before the marriage but would have chosen to ignore the signs and still go ahead but actually God will locate any man where he has to be to be blessed like someone said there are many people abroad not really achieving much with their paper .The best thing is to put God first in all your decisions and he will guide you right but a lot of us have forgotten how to do that

  16. Yahoo

    April 12, 2017 at 5:31 pm

    This issues has a lot of dynamics, immigration scam is quite on the high side here in the UK. I tell u!, i’ve got loads of aunties that does this match making thing, they’ve all stopped. They couldn’t hook me up as well, go to churches and mosques they’ve all stopped “singles meet” except few. Nigerians can do anything for that paper,

  17. Jigsaw

    April 12, 2017 at 5:56 pm

    How about folks marry folks in the countries they are resident in? Why remain close-minded and insist on importing some rando from Naij, Ghana etc. ?

  18. Ada

    April 12, 2017 at 7:40 pm

    Mscheweewww na today we don dey see people with passport…my husband is Nigerian British and I have a residence permit…and I just moved back to Nigeria…to hell with yo passport…not a big deal people!!!!!!

  19. Ghostmode

    April 12, 2017 at 7:52 pm

    I like this article and more people should read it! Of course there are cases where the union is for real but there are lots of cases where people get married to other people for papers.
    Its better to be informed and then make your decisions. The writer only highlighted the red flags to watch out for but we all know when people fall in love its hard to be objective and we ignore the glaring signs

    I have someone close to me experiencing this same issue and my heart bleeds for him, its really heart breaking to find out that you were just a pawn in the game, used for a selfish purpose. No one should go through it.

  20. Theresa Ramos

    April 12, 2017 at 8:04 pm

    I wanted to write a book. yes I was scammed but im a weird way. I got a friend request from a handsome white man from Texas. we could stop chatting we felt like we knew each other forever in just 2 weeks. then I asked him to call me and he hesitated. finally ve agreed and when he called I was surprised to hear an African accent. I told him and said I was never talking to him again. he was upset and said he was wet sorry but the real him truly liked me. oddly I liked him too….soon after the Nigerian man who claimed to love me asked me to send money to help with his sick father. End of story……..Never believe a man you meet online….

  21. My story

    April 12, 2017 at 8:36 pm

    This is my story “Is the bae from a poor background? If you have come all the way from Canada to visit your Nigerian bae and the two of you are jumping Moluwe and eating from Mama Iyabo, please, shine your eyes because very soon, OYO(on-your-own)will be your case. You are being scammed. This is not to dissuade the kind love that conquers social status and financial barriers. It is also not to suggest that anyone should not love a person from a ‘humble’ background. But to be honest, someone from a good or even ‘ok’ background in Nigeria won’t stoop so low to scam you.

    I was ready to sacrifice my life for this naija babe I met online turns out sha had two “catches” she was playing for papers. I got lucky, I found out and helped the other guy find out too. I no longer believe in Hollywood type of love with naija girls.

  22. DD

    April 12, 2017 at 9:12 pm

    It’s hard, & impossible to read people’s minds. it’s only the person that has evil intentions knows in his or her mind. If only we can read people’s minds. But we are not able to read minds, this would have been the only solution, other than that, it will continue to happen to people, no matter what the amount of precautions you advice here. So unfortunate.

  23. Paper Lol

    April 12, 2017 at 9:34 pm

    @Be warned
    I stand with Tinuke. She is bold and her personal experience cannot be discountenanced and she cannot be blackmailed with yeye remarks.
    The expectation of this article was to floor the comment section, with bad news and tales of sorrow and misery but a goodnewser came boldly along and they are angry and calling it a one of. One of how? Why are we always expecting bad things to happen and when it happens we complain. Which kain people we be sef. It always starts like…
    I know one person that knows two other persons that will soon know another close friend of a family member who is going through the same situation bla bla. They are not quick to share good news but quickest to spread the bad.
    The writer is a known shallow writer who picks on soft topics and puts her lame spin on it to play on peoples fears to generate comments. She has no idea what writing is all about .Tinuke thanks for speaking out else they would have turned it to another nigerian men and nigerian image bashing piece. I married a womam without papers and It never occured to me that it was something to waste my thoughts on. I saw a woman I liked and married her. Nothing material. Igbos say forget what sticker on a bus abd enter the bus if that journey matters to you.

  24. Cynthia

    April 13, 2017 at 4:28 am

    Don’t miss out on opportunity. I am a Canadian and my husband is from a poor family(live in a mud house). While I was in USA studying he waited until I moved to Canada. We have been together 17years – I met him inside danfo (yes I love exploring my world) though he said “I knew you’re from wealthy family the moment I saw you because you look expensive… Did I tell you he mentioned marriage to me the first day? He was a man full of potential but no money non shoe or shirt. He has one shoe that he used cardboard to patch.

    Before he joined me in Canada in a house I bought and he continued where I stop. He worships the floor I walked and he has NEVER cheated on me. He’s so cute and my son looks exactly like him. The best decision of my life. If you travel to Nigeria open your eyes and follow your instinct and brain. Also, if you are from a wealthy family, remember to give poor people equal opportunity to date you.

    • Here they come again

      April 13, 2017 at 9:04 am

      Akuko uwa..next please!!!

    • What is this one saying

      April 13, 2017 at 12:03 pm

      I call bullshit. This is probably someone mining the internet to meet rich people. Don’t go and work and sweat the way the people you want to meet are working and sweating. Equal opportunity my left leg

  25. Nne Umu Boys!

    April 13, 2017 at 12:44 pm

    Very well written Nkem! Let them that have ears hear

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