Connect with us


Eniola Ake: 6 Mistakes Single People Make When Dating



The single phase is actually the most important, especially if you plan to get married and have a family. Sometimes, mistakes are made at this stage, but it is the period a woman can start working towards getting it right in marriage. It is at this point a wife-minded woman begins to make the decision of the type of man she wants to spend the rest of her life with. It is at this point she takes her time and carefully avoid making mistakes that are irreversible.

There are several wrong turns single women can avoid making before getting married, but here are six major ones that can save her.

Judging a man based on your past
Although, there are a couple of bag eggs, not every man wants to hurt you. Not every man is like your ex. Try not to compare him with your ex. Your past hurt or heartbreak may get you to start feeling some type of way around men. For this same reason you have been careful when with men, tried to stay low when it comes to relationships or not about to rush into marriage. You definitely do not want to make mistakes – which is good; but, do not miss spending a lifetime with a man that means well, because of a bad ex or experience.

Forcing connection
When you have been hurt too many times or disappointed by men, the fear of losing a good man that comes your way could make you think of manipulative ways to keep him. Fear is deceptive. Fear may want you to manipulate a man to have him. However, if something belongs to you there would be no need to force him the wrong way. Avoid making the mistake of using manipulative means to keep a man, so he can get married to you. Avoid setting the wrong foundation for a relationship that would naturally work out, with proper preparation.

Dating for the wrong reasons
When you finally find that man/woman you can connect with and boldly call yours, one that appeals to your heart, one that makes you feel loved and appreciated, do not ruin your opportunity of spending the rest of your life with such a person, by basing your relationship on selfish desires or wrong intentions. Selfish desires sets your heart on the wrong things; it makes you focus on things that wouldn’t make your relationship live.

Listening to discouraging advice
In my book, the Road to I do, I talked extensively about the major things that ruin marriages. Wrong counsels and false predictions fall in this category. If you want to have a successful relationship, avoid taking every advice, counsels, prediction or prophesy. Not everyone has been authorized to speak over your life and relationship. Also, because people’s experiences in marriage are unique, their definition of marriage is unique to them. Hence, taking another person’s reality as yours may be a mistake. It is important to avoid advice or counsel that may ruin your chances of being with the right man for life. You have a choice to reject any wrong advice. Bear in mind that you have been given the power to create what you want to see in your life and marriage. You are the creator of your own reality.
That a person has a bad experience with their own partner does not mean you would. Do not let people paint the picture of their own experience to become yours. Your own marriage can be better and successful.

Settling due to desperation
This is when a woman has reached the point where society and family pressure begin to question her single status. They do not want to know if you are ready to settle down or not, or if you even want to get married. Due to this pressure that mounts on her, the woman may settle for less, or anything that comes her way. The outcome of this is usually unpleasant surprises in marriage-  coupled with unhappiness.

Attempting to change hm/her
Sometimes, in order to make a person fit into your life, you attempt to change them. Usually, the right person is not one that you try to change. This action usually leads to trouble, instead of connection with this person. If you do not like something about them, leave them. You can not change anyone other than yourself.

Are you ready to settle down and have not found the right person yet? Do you need help identifying the right person? Connect with me via email- [email protected] Eniola Ake is the Author of “the Road to I Do” Book which is currently being sold in five major bookshops in Lagos Nigeria including Terra Kulture, Unilag Bookshop, Glendora Bookshop Murtala Mohammed International Airport Branch, JED Megastores inside The Palms Shopping Mall Lekki Lagos and Patabah Bookshop Adeniran Ogunsanya Shopping Mall Surulere. She coaches and helps singles to connect with, court and keep the right partner. You can connect with her on Instagram @eniolaake or

1 Comment

  1. Pamela

    May 1, 2017 at 4:31 pm

    Good piece! There are too many typos though. Please edit thoroughly before you post.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Star Features