Growing up, we were told that ‘if we had nothing nice to say, we should keep quiet’. We were also told that ‘there was a way we would say sorry and earn a slap’. Diplomacy, tact and a serene aura were virtues to admire. Being a veeeerry noisy and playful teenager with a sharp tongue, I had a hard time. My mother actually made me take a Bible concordance and write down every verse where tongue, mouth and lips were written in the Bible; I was to read and memorise them. I grew from the sharp mouthed teenager to someone who will find the best way to air my opinion- if it was necessary at all. All things are lawful but not all things are necessary, besides some things are better left unsaid.
But on social media and in the world today, people see being rude, harsh, abrasive and uncouth as ‘being ourselves‘, ‘speaking our minds‘, ‘being real‘
People who are calmer and gentler are called pretenders; so, even they have to start being noisy…so that they can be real.
I have no challenge with realness and all. However, I believe, we should be ‘our BEST selves’ and know that only ‘a fool utters all his mind’. There is a place for diplomacy and tact. I am more concerned about the seeming anger and rashness our society seems to have gotten into.
Nigerians are witty, and have royalty on comebacks, but there was a time, we used that wittiness to cheer each other up. There was a time we genuinely loved. Now, it seems to me like we are all shouting and angry at something. Everyone is trying to outdo the other at being mean, uncouth and razz. We go to a person’s social media page and decide to unleash venom.
God forbid that a person be calm around us, we will immediately label them as formers or people with low self esteem. Anyone who dares to have a contrary opinion to ours is shunned abrasively.
And so I ask, why are we shouting? Why are we this angry? Have we always been like this, but I was too young to notice? Or did we change along the line?
I personally believe that the latter is the case. Maybe, good values no longer paid, and we faced a lot of intimidation. We carry around unfulfilled dreams. There is so much lack, that we hold on to every shred of esteem and try to feel better about ourselves by lashing out at others – hurting people do hurt others.
My darlings, why exactly are we angry? I wish someone could explain this…or should we just blame it on the government – as usual?
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