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Peculiar Okafor: Why So Angry Though?



Growing up, we were told that ‘if we had nothing nice to say, we should keep quiet’. We were also told that ‘there was a way we would say sorry and earn a slap’. Diplomacy, tact and a serene aura were virtues to admire. Being a veeeerry noisy and playful teenager with a sharp tongue, I had a hard time. My mother actually made me take a Bible concordance and write down every verse where tongue, mouth and lips were written in the Bible; I was to read and memorise them. I grew from the sharp mouthed teenager to someone who will find the best way to air my opinion- if it was necessary at all. All things are lawful but not all things are necessary, besides some things are better left unsaid.

But on social media and in the world today, people see being rude, harsh, abrasive and uncouth as ‘being ourselves‘, ‘speaking our minds‘, ‘being real

People who are calmer and gentler are called pretenders; so, even they have to start being noisy…so that they can be real.

I have no challenge with realness and all. However, I believe, we should be ‘our BEST selves’ and know that only ‘a fool utters all his mind’. There is a place for diplomacy and tact. I am more concerned about the seeming anger and rashness our society seems to have gotten into.

Nigerians are witty, and have royalty on comebacks, but there was a time, we used that wittiness to cheer each other up. There was a time we genuinely loved. Now, it seems to me like we are all shouting and angry at something. Everyone is trying to outdo the other at being mean, uncouth and razz. We go to a person’s social media page and decide to unleash venom.

God forbid that a person be calm around us, we will immediately label them as formers or people with low self esteem. Anyone who dares to have a contrary opinion to ours is shunned abrasively.

And so I ask, why are we shouting? Why are we this angry? Have we always been like this, but I was too young to notice? Or did we change along the line?

I personally believe that the latter is the case. Maybe, good values no longer paid, and we faced a lot of intimidation. We carry around unfulfilled dreams. There is so much lack, that we hold on to every shred of esteem and try to feel better about ourselves by lashing out at others – hurting people do hurt others.

My darlings, why exactly are we angry? I wish someone could explain this…or should we just blame it on the government – as usual?

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

Peculiar is a Marketing communications personnel, she believes that one can have a full life without being bitchy and she wants it all 'A good career, love, laughter, wealth, you name it. She blogs at Follow her on Instagram @daworkdiva and Facebook ''


  1. Anonie

    April 10, 2017 at 9:11 pm

    I read that anger is a secondary emotion. We express anger but what we really feel is belittled, hurt or frustrated. We can’t admit to those feelings so we cover it by showing anger.

  2. Sel

    April 10, 2017 at 9:47 pm

    Nice article!

  3. Zinay

    April 10, 2017 at 9:54 pm

    Lol.. Dear writer, I don’t understand it, but we are all guilty in one way or the other.. I lashed out once on social media, posted a picture of some lady I totally loved and was praising her creativity. Some babe came and called me a bully, unfortunately that time I was really not in the mood. Regardless, I’m forced to bridle my tongue and let stuff go, because like you said, only a fool utters all his mind. #TeamSavage is the new cool… Until it’s your turn

  4. Peju

    April 10, 2017 at 10:12 pm

    I think we are frustrated much more than we are angry,as odd and hard as this may sound,I think a response in love can help soothe those keyboard ninjas and internet trolls pain.

    May GOD heal our hearts in JÈSUS name.

  5. Somto

    April 10, 2017 at 11:06 pm

    Beautiful article ?? I have often asked myself that same question. Why all these insanity in our society. This is not the Nigeria I grew up in

  6. Peculiar Okafor

    April 11, 2017 at 4:49 am

    Thanks Somto and sel

  7. Thonia

    April 11, 2017 at 6:17 am

    oh finally someone noticed! I share the same view as Somto on this.Thanks a lot for this article.

  8. Anonie

    April 11, 2017 at 7:54 am

    @ Peculiar, I posted a comment in support of your article but BN in their wisdom decided to swallow it. Just so you know. Well written. Let’s see if you see this one.

    • Peculiar Okafor

      April 11, 2017 at 9:58 am

      Hehehe. Thanks dear, I’m glad you enjoyed it.

  9. john

    April 11, 2017 at 9:02 am

    sweet and beautiful and educative of the best here..I have always believe social media brought out the worst in Nigerians..every body is looking for 15mins of fame and every one thinks they have right to troll another person about their media has its advantages and disadvantages like every decisions we make..we just have to hope that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

    • Peculiar Okafor

      April 11, 2017 at 9:58 am

      Wow, thanks a lot.

    • nona

      April 11, 2017 at 12:33 pm

      Isn’t that what you do here? Trolling women who seek better treatment, calling them “femtards”?

  10. Dora

    April 11, 2017 at 3:37 pm

    To answer your question, I AM ANGRY, because I am frustrated with the things I see around me and I can’t seem to change. I am angry because of the glaring injustice I see everyday in Nigeria. I am angry that smart and talented men and women are wasting, with no hope and no future and resorting to evil. EVERYTHING I see about Nigeria makes my heart sore. I am angry that a Nigerian man’s thought process never goes straight, it always is crocked, conceives lies and wicked things. I am angry about how dishonest people are. And yes, I am angry at how angry everyone is. Last but not least, I am ANGRY at the way people drive in Nigeria. I can go on and on, but whenever I touch down to Nigeria, I become an person. I find myself very defensive and ready for the roller-coaster. I can’t control it, that is just the way it happens to me and the way I feel about the country. God save and help Nigeria. And help me too:)

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