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Sandra Dairo: Kisses Down Low – 5 Kinds Of Guys & How They Go Down

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The era of the internet and sexual awareness comes with it a need to explore in ways most people once thought ‘abominable’ or ‘wrong.’ And since women are over 70 percent more likely to reach their peak through oral administrations, the concept is starting to appeal to more and more people, both men and women.

I have never met a man who would admit to being a bad head-giver. They would swear up and down that women who came across them will be left with shaking limbs and incoherent thoughts. Considering the fact a very high percentage of women I have talked to, have said they have never received a mind-blowing head, something is definitely off somewhere.
I have spoken to a number of women on the kinds of heady attention they have experienced and why they will (or will not) accept future offers.
The experiences can be best categorised into five main kinds of guys.

The Munchers
Picture digging into a juicy piece of Shaki. The vigorous biting and sucking and gnawing all so that you can enjoy not only chewing into the goodness but also making sure you syphon all the juice from it. Now, imagine you are that piece of Shaki being attacked by a ravenous lion. Does that make you shudder a little?
These kinds of guys take ‘eating’ literally. They would leave you burning up and not in a good way.

The Thrusters
Somehow, some people got the idea that the tongue is supposed to simulate the ding dong, hence the quick in and out motions. This just feels unnatural and mostly uncomfortable. Having something so soft dart in and out of you is not a pleasant feeling. Plus, it’s absolutely useless and does nothing for anyone.

The Lost Boys
Ah, the lost boys. They have good intentions. They really put in the work and try very hard. It is very unlikely that these kinds are ever told how bad they are because you do tend to feel for them. They are passionate and enthusiastic. But they lack one important thing – actual skill. It’s like they do not know where they are going. Even though they get there, they will drift off again. Sure, you might try to guide them but it’s very unsexy when the bedroom turns into a lecture room. So, mostly, you just let it go – make the oohs and aahs and maybe fake it two minutes in. Then give them a nice pat on the head for all their hard work.

The Gold Diggers
With these kinds, you get the impression that they are down there digging for gold. The attempt to bury their mouth, fingers, nose and sometimes even head so deep inside that you wonder if they are trying to return to where they came from. They are passionate, yes, but unlike the lost boys, they are not gentle. They are hungry and will keep digging deep until they find… what? I’m not so sure.

The Headmasters
Now, these ones we love. Their skill, timing, dedication and enthusiasm will leave you with arched backs and toes so curled they will take days to return to normal. They are never in a hurry. They will make sure they get you there and they will have fun doing it. They know what to do and where to do it. They will make you forget who you are and follow them anywhere. They will make you beg, order, threaten, and maybe even cry tears of extreme pleasure. You will be tempted to give them all you have when they are done and very likely, you will never let them go.

But they are rare, so rare. Only a handful of ladies I know has met this kind. They are like diamonds.
And just like diamonds, they come in the oddest of packages. They are hardly ever the good-on-paper guys. They are not usually the six-figure earning, tall-dark-handsome, confident blokes. In my experience, they are usually in the places you never look.

So, if you have never met these guys, you might try widening your search pool. Who knows what you might catch (I’m not talking STIs)?

Share your thoughts. Have you met one or more of these guys? What was your reaction?

Photo Credit: Monkey Business Images | Dreamstime.com

Sandra Dairo is a creative writer and content creator. She finds humour in everything and believes life should not be taken so seriously. You can check out her adult-themed blog at thefiercelane.wordpress.com where she writes erotic stories, sex tips and more.

55 Comments

  1. LemmeRant

    April 11, 2017 at 7:26 pm

    Aunty, its the same for girls o

  2. Anonie

    April 11, 2017 at 8:01 pm

    The moment i read the first line of the lost boys, I literally cracked up!! lol, I can totally relate! I met a headmaster once, kai nne, and like you said, they’re never good on paper, this one was divorced and in his late forties. DAYUM!!!! I cherish that memory every day of my life. My fiance gives good head tho, hopefully will become a headmaster soon, but DAMN DAMN DAMN!!! That guy could eat!

  3. john

    April 11, 2017 at 8:09 pm

    The honest truth is most women pu**** smell like rotten fish..I swear most women should go to hygiene school even the ones you think are the slay queens/ big girls, their own even smell the worst.. it puts a lot of men off….. This how one of my guy tried giving head to is now EX,not knowing the girl didn’t even clean her shit /excrement properly..we had a good laugh about that… anyway a tip for women .lesbians give the best head..u can try it

  4. Spunky

    April 11, 2017 at 8:28 pm

    What’s going on here today?! Aunty Bella, how’s it doing you today?…you have join bad gang fah? When I was in the world, I once texted a very stubborn crush I’d lick her plate for 1hr straight up (was in a tease mood). Later that evening I get a text from crush asking if I was home and free…of course I was free. Exactly past 9pm, she’s at my place looking radiant, better than I ever imagined….

    • PRAY TELL SPUNK

      April 11, 2017 at 10:22 pm

      SPUNKY PLS CONTINUE,…..LOL

    • Rike

      April 13, 2017 at 3:38 pm

      I will faint oo..biko kontunu jor

  5. Nike

    April 11, 2017 at 8:51 pm

    You forgot to add The Slurpers…..the ones that will use saliva to destroy your hoo-haa and all your sexual pleasure….then attempt to kiss you when they come up for air….*shudders*

    • penelopeia

      April 12, 2017 at 9:52 am

      That would be my husband!! He has made me cum like 5 times during my 9 years of knowing him. He is a good hubby and father but mehn he is bad at love making. Now he says he gets sores in his mouth when he gives me a head. i have not had head in about 8-10 months. Poor me!!

  6. Tee

    April 11, 2017 at 9:13 pm

    I opened this out of curiosity. As usual, I couldn’t read the whole hmmm up there. I don’t know if anyone else feels that way. I can’t give any man head, if you like be pure as snow. I don’t want it too. I can count how many times I’ve made love without taking my shower firsthand. Yes, 10yrs of marriage. Thank God I married a man like me. I don’t have anything against it or people that do it, it’s just me. The one I have problem with is the ish I read here on BN sometime ago about how some women even do back to keep their man. Hmmmmm

    • Papacy

      April 11, 2017 at 10:53 pm

      Do you know you can be prosecuted for that? *in the popular instagram clip voice* Lol. Kidding. To each his or her own. For me o, I must be “headed” and I must “head”.

  7. xplorenollywood.com

    April 11, 2017 at 9:33 pm

    It’s tough to find that diamond, so peeps dint even get it and once you try to talk about it, they curl up! Why though?

  8. mimi

    April 11, 2017 at 9:42 pm

    i have only ever experienced one headmaster in my whole adult life of dating or flings….it’s truly rare…and everytime i think of it my body still shakes….this is coming from someone used to vibrators and all kinds of stuff oh…..it was a long distance relationship….my first one ever….and that was the only reason i held on for so long…he knew the exact pressure needed and exact spot….mindblowing

    • Amaa

      April 12, 2017 at 1:36 am

      To be a head master isn’t a prerequisite for good sex life but because of the secrecy and mystery surrounding this act people have turned it into the 8th wonder of the world. It’s not rocket science any woman can teach a man to be a headmaster if only they would calm down, listen to the womans body and do as you are told. Simply put a woman body responds stimulus in different ways and you have to listen to the subtle message and drop all your arrogant, what you think you know (from all your waka) and let that body tell you what it wants you to do.
      Unfortunately the porn industry has ruined the sacredness of sex and what it was made to be . Men think it’s thesame for all women how it’s is for Nkechi is not how it is for Mariam, Eka or mobola.
      It’s her body she let you know what pleasures her.
      Unfortunately women haven’t been taught that it’s ok to enjoy sex and speak up when you don’t
      The church has done a good job in that regards to councillors and their team should involve certified see therapists in their marriage councils especially as chastity is now envogue again befor sister Betty and brother Pius will regret ever saving themselves for marriage only to get the shot end of the stick . Talking about sexual is still a taboos in our culture I am not of the opinion that we should throw everything that we stand for as a society and embrace the western way of talking about sex but we have to be a bit more creative in our approach to this tricky topic. I watched that seemingly deeper life looking woman dissect sex on LIB and I was impressed by her tactics and creativity. Apologies for the epistle

  9. nwa nna

    April 11, 2017 at 10:47 pm

    Funny article! But, it’s not as straightforward as the writer makes giving head seem.. Now, let me clarify, there are some highly skilled headmistress out there that enjoy making a grown man’s toes curl but they are not that common either.
    As for men giving women head, it depends on the woman. I’ve met some women that know exactly how they like being licked and if you listen to their subtle moan and groans you’ll know when you’re on to something… That deliberate slow lick make them confess and speak in tongues!! Just gotta know the woman you’re dealing with 🙂

  10. Anonymous

    April 11, 2017 at 11:06 pm

    …met this dude, went on one date,wanted to call it off. But then, he came to my house at midnight, before i could say ” jack” , his tongue was all over my plate; dude ate the resistance outta me. I had a big orgasm….well..i ended up…. head game -10/10….rod game 4/10

  11. angela

    April 11, 2017 at 11:56 pm

    Av experienced all kind of heading. My headmaster refused to marry me Cos I am not igbo.i got married to another guy with a small dick cos he can head for Africa. After our trad and went for marriage class in the Catholic church and in one of those classes they said heading was wrong. When we got home,my hub said he will never head me again and I told him that if I had known this I wouldn’t av married him.wev been married For 6yrs and he heads me sometimes but it I don’t feel anything anymore cos I feel he is not doing it from his heart..i can even give him head cos is dick is small and hair…am a sexually fusrtrated wife!!!

    • Wunmi

      April 12, 2017 at 8:36 am

      Do u know your picture is showing??

    • Tola

      April 12, 2017 at 10:35 am

      Oh my goodness! Angela! I have died a thousand deaths and risen a thousand and one times. @ Wunmi, I was going to same (like can’t you see your picture’s showing) till you said it. Kai!

    • Tola

      April 12, 2017 at 10:35 am

      *was going to say same

    • Nakoms

      April 12, 2017 at 8:50 am

      Sistah, Name ya real pishure be that.

    • vicious

      April 12, 2017 at 9:19 am

      chei ayaf hear/see sontin today o
      kuku kee me

    • roxxi

      April 12, 2017 at 1:03 pm

      Eyaaaaa …LOL

      Sorry i actually LOL

    • Nema

      April 12, 2017 at 10:26 pm

      I damn near died of laughter!!!!

      Thanks Angela, i needed that

    • Anon

      April 13, 2017 at 8:28 am

      I hope you are the owner of that pic?…cuz that way beyond the line(too much info.)

    • Stuz

      April 13, 2017 at 12:47 pm

      Lmao Angela, i raise Beyonce hand for you, with ur pic showing and stuff.
      Point of correction however, the Catholic Church never said giving head is bad. What the Church said is that whichever ways couples choose to have foreplay is their business, but that however, they should ensure that ejaculation does not occur anywhere outside the vagina.

    • Bayo

      June 4, 2017 at 12:35 pm

      Angela you need counselling & Help ASAP……send a mail [email protected].

  12. Anonymous female

    April 12, 2017 at 12:50 am

    Men that gives good head are truly rare and are found in places where u ain’t looking.
    The first and so far only guy that has given me a good head happens to be the opposite of what any woman wants in her man (not good looking at all) it’s that bad that I can’t kiss him cos of his looks. But hey he knows the right spots to go better than the good looking dudes. Yuck!!!!
    I broke up with him but I get wet each time I think about how he gives me head.

  13. Naina

    April 12, 2017 at 3:33 am

    Wawu!!! I don’t even know whether we were dating or not. But I us this lover who was damn good at licking the plate. Big time player. He’d be licking mine like it was the best dish. And I made sure to showers before and after. His head game was strong. Orgasm percentage was 100%. Had the rod only once. And since I wasn’t sure we were dating or not, I enjoyed the head game as much as I could.

  14. aj

    April 12, 2017 at 4:26 am

    chai all the freaky girls are out in this comment section!

  15. Ada

    April 12, 2017 at 6:29 am

    I think I’m one of the few ladies who are indifferent about head. Please don’t tell me I’ve not gotten “good head” that’s why. I have gotten impressive head from a plethora of guy but to me I still consider it as foreplay. Do it for like 2/3 minutes so I can be crazy wet and then fuck the shit outta me. Yup. That’s the shit I like. Lol ?
    I can’t ever orgasm from head. Heck, I don’t even have the patience to find out if I can orgasm from head. Penetrative sex is it for me abeg.

  16. Ghostmode

    April 12, 2017 at 7:54 am

    Ha! i don’t pray for my enemies to experience a Muncher!! Omo the dude thought he was chewing sugar coated Haribo!!! What he did to me was genital assassination! For days peeing and washing was a painful experience. I rejoiced when the situation-ship ended.

    • Maxie

      April 12, 2017 at 10:11 am

      Lol….

    • yellow!

      April 12, 2017 at 11:00 am

      rotfl! I can totally relate sister! been there too. dude felt he was eating watermelon……

    • dahplumb

      April 12, 2017 at 5:37 pm

      Oh my! i had an ex who refused to give head as he wasnt into it…..later on we broke up and became friends. Then one day years later while we were playing too much he told me he now gives head and i was like oh ok. no harm in trying as i wasnt with anyone at the moment… Epic Fail! i experienced the same ordeal you went through and that was the last time i ever let him touch me. His rod game was below par anyways so there was no need playing around with him.

    • Idomagirl

      April 13, 2017 at 2:12 am

      You should have slapped and pushed his head away after the first bite.
      Which kain nonsense chewing?

  17. Young lady

    April 12, 2017 at 7:56 am

    I am dating someone who has sworn he’s not into all this head-giving/receiving crap. Tall, dark, handsome, intelligent and successful bloke. So, Sandra, you may just be right. Penile sex doesn’t do it for me and with him, it’s 5/10 maximum. I believe one can’t have everything in life and so I’m sticking with him. Not having a head for the rest of my life is not a big sacrifice, I think.

    • Pussy lover

      April 12, 2017 at 9:10 am

      You can be visiting me during lunch hour na…..Take orals during the day and penetration during the night…… 😉

  18. Nuna

    April 12, 2017 at 9:02 am

    I just look at all of you and I dont even know sef. Head o, penetrative sex o, I dont ever cum. Like EVER. I’m almost 30 years and I dont think I like having sex

    • Amaa

      April 12, 2017 at 11:10 am

      You need to see a second therapist certified one quickly

    • going anon here...

      April 12, 2017 at 9:40 pm

      you’re not alone…. i hate getting head because it dries me up.

      Never ever had an orgasm…… while dating, while married, never circumsized……..

      and im just newly married few months oh. I’ve resigned to fate…. it may never come. maybe afte pregnancy. i hope. i neeeed to “cum”

  19. Pussy lover

    April 12, 2017 at 9:21 am

    You can be visiting me during lunch hour na…..Take orals during the day and penetration during the night…… 😉

  20. Omoté

    April 12, 2017 at 9:45 am

    Wow! Wow! Wow! Too much info Angela! And not in anonymous mode either! I hope ur husband never gets to see this oh! It would mean the beginning of the end of your marriage oh! This is something you discuss with ur husband behind closed doors nah, when u want to rant do it in anonymous mode babe!

  21. Tools

    April 12, 2017 at 10:38 am

    I live for my husbands’ head!!! He is the best Headmaster!!! makes me drip…*wink* lol…
    A few guys I dated before him were crap – never came close; and yes they come in unusual packages.

  22. Wee

    April 12, 2017 at 10:40 am

    BN pls take Angela’s comment down, pls protect her identity and marriage, I’m sure she didn’t remembers her pic was there

  23. Jide

    April 12, 2017 at 11:30 am

    For some reason, Girl with clean pussy are hesitant to open their legs to receive head. The girls with smelly and repulsive pussy are the ones that quickly open their legs for head, like it is an entitlement. The hygienic condition of the virgina can also play a huge role in the quality of head. Some women’s virgina just sink really bad, you just have to blank your mind to give them head.

    • Lisa

      April 12, 2017 at 10:33 pm

      You shouldn’t be putting your mouth near anything that smells, gross

  24. vicious

    April 12, 2017 at 12:06 pm

    All these are played in your head and thought process!

    Definitely, not everyone is at their best but what affects what you feel is the crush/ love you have for the person. If your crush licks you, you might come 20x but if a random guy sucks you, might be just once….you get the drift?

    Now, reason why many guys dont perform to their best…(i as an example) is because most ladies aint clean down there. If you aint clean down there, a guy will not be motivated to explore 100%, he will just do 5% to please you, against his wish.

    There are ladies you suck that you have to go get antibiotics immediately….cos you will definitely catch some infection.
    1. This could be due to the fact that they have abstained for so long and the first series of cum would be concentrated and full of all sorts.

    2. Some have multiple sexual partners and it is very easy to identify a girl like that. Even though i like this one and she is always on my case but i cant cos she has multiple guys and will infect you if you go down on her.

    3. Girls are worse off in sex. Go and see your men do one quickie in clubs/lounges with girls who are specialist. You dont know how to touch his dick, you dont know how to suck it, you dont know the sensitive part; you just lie on your back expecting him to do all the do……my friend jump on his dick and fuck his brain out!

  25. yummymummycumchick

    April 12, 2017 at 1:21 pm

    everybody is eating somebody these days…………….. wawuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu ! normal . i for one can blow a brain out*grins* …….. v experienced a headmaster 2wice…….. so cool….

    • going anon here...

      April 12, 2017 at 9:41 pm

      hahaha heard this in this new movie. Chips!!!! everybody is eating everybody these days….

      haha

    • Anon

      April 13, 2017 at 8:26 am

      Nope! not everybody…I don’t eat and will never ever!!!! It’s disgusting (personal opinion).

  26. Nunulicious

    April 12, 2017 at 1:25 pm

    Chop knuckle to my husband. Headmaster toh bad. Before you there were munchers and slurpers. After you, there was is no other. Since the fork cannot work, the tongue will work.

  27. zee

    April 12, 2017 at 3:30 pm

    sometimes even head so deep inside that you wonder if they are trying to return to where they came from ”
    ??

    • going anon here...

      April 12, 2017 at 9:43 pm

      lmao… never experienced this…dont let them gimme head. i dont want. thanks

  28. A2

    April 12, 2017 at 4:59 pm

    I told my gf i wasn’t going to read this article, but here i am…
    well…Its good taking more leanings in addition to thats already there
    Aunty B….osheeey.

    And as for me, i try making “head” a hubby….thats how much i love it and i believe she loves it too

  29. Tipsy

    April 12, 2017 at 6:50 pm

    Wow!!! I mean what a wow!!! from the write up to the comments here, you guys hilarious and freaks at same time.At first i thought i was on a different blog..hmmm Aunty Bella naija thank you for showing me/us the other (room) side of you lol

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