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Their Love Story Was Cut Short By Tragedy But 20 Years Later Kemi’s Heart Bursts with Gratitude

BellaNaija.com

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Kemi is the mum of a BellaNaijarian, Tolulope – who shared her beautiful story with us. In a sweet ode, Kemi wrote about her late husband:

20 years long, you took me down the aisle and promised me the moon. You were energetic and a visionary, I believed you. You promised me nothing but an interesting life with you. I whispered an Amen so earnestly which made you smile. 20 years ago you made me a proud, hopeful and mesmerised bride. I was enchanted, willing to stay by your side till ever.

I bargained for ever.
Ever was only 6 years.

How do you describe the feeling? The pain! the agony! The pity…especially the pity?!

This is 20 years after. Exactly 20 years and I am standing here, clicking 45. Still relishing a brief but amazing life with you.

We wanted to know more about Kemi, so we reached out for more details. Her bitter-sweet story is one that is uplifting and inspiring. In spite of all the difficulties, her song of gratitude rings true and honest.

 

Who is Kemi?
I am Oluwakemi Ajala, widow of Olusiji Bode Adeoye. I went to Ansar un Deen comprehensive high school Isolo – Class of 1989. I then went to Ondo State College of Education, Ikere Ekiti where I studied French/ English.

Meeting Olusiji & Starting Our Family
I was still in secondary school, class 4 – when I met him Olusiji. I went for my aunty’s wedding in my village, so he came for my aunty’s spinsters night and we met. He just finished his youth service, so he came to the village to see his parents too.

Well, I wouldn’t say I knew he was the one, but he kept saying I love you and I want you be my wife and it was quite funny, because I was still young.

I had two girls before he died who he always called his two princesses.  I was pregnant for the third, a boy.

How He Died
He woke up on a normal working day, healthy and able he said he was going to work; but offshore this time. He needed to visit one of their biggest plants, which he’d been looking forward to know. It was his first, and never knew it was going to be his last visit to the place. It’s called Brass. He said he needed to escort some community men to their offshore plant. They had gone and were coming back to Port Harcourt in a helicopter, when they said the helicopter lost one of its engines. So the pilot managed to turn back, facing Brass.  On their way back, the propeller of the helicopter hit the Porter cabin, so the helicopter lost control and then lost the 2nd engine immediately. This made the pilot lose control and then sank into the mud.

Four of them died that day: the pilot, co pilot, Olusiji my husband, and then one of the community leaders. Eight people survived.

Coping with Loss & Raising My Kids
Wth the help of his loyal friends and the business I was doing, I was able to do educational trust fund and then I did some investments here and there.

I have not said it’s been easy raising my three children all alone. When I couldn’t cope with the school fees and my business was not really moving as I thought, I decided to leave the country Nigeria relocate to Ireland  – remembering I had my last 2 children abroad. They were, and are still entitled to free education. Rather than kill myself over school fees, I left with the two, and left my first behind, so she won’t break off from school. She was in university and had gone far in Nigeria.

In order  to break into the system in Ireland, and to keep myself busy, I enrolled into a night class which I attend twice a week, which enabled me to get a good work over here.

The Joys of April 2017
The 12th of April was the 20th anniversary of my marriage to Olusiji. I look back with gratitude to God for the journey thus traveled. I turned 45 in April and my 1st daughter finished her final year exams in April. I’m a proud mum of a graduate. Isn’t God wonderful?

Aspirations & Looking to the Future
I desire to finally settle down and remarry if I see any God fearing and humble man by God’s grace.
Raising children as a single parent is not easy. I advise widows not to depend on anybody, because help might not come as they will only promise.
They should try their best to either work or go into business, and God will direct their path – if they believe in him, because God said he would be the father to the fatherless and protector of the widows.

Word
Word is golden Kemi, so dance. 14 years of a lone journey is unexplainable, so go on Kemi, it’s OK to dance. 14 years of a journey with a first and lingering love is too painful to spill. So I danced. “

24 Comments

  1. Toluwalase

    June 12, 2017 at 10:20 am

    This is inspirational, i was raised by a single mother too. I pray God reward all mothers for their scarifices.

    • Beyondfaces...

      June 22, 2017 at 1:02 pm

      AMEN! to your lovely prayer.

  2. Lalaland

    June 12, 2017 at 10:24 am

    Wow. Just Wow.

  3. marlee

    June 12, 2017 at 10:29 am

    lovely. i salute you madam

  4. marlee

    June 12, 2017 at 10:30 am

    better to focus on yourself and your children, instead of looking for men who might mistreat you and your lovely kids.

  5. Frida

    June 12, 2017 at 11:11 am

    Inspiring! ?

  6. Bennie

    June 12, 2017 at 11:28 am

    Hmmmm, i feel you sis. Mine has been 7 yrs now, was equally pregnant with our 2nd child when he died. True a lot of people abandon you while some promise and still keep promising without doing anything to help, some help or pretend to help but with sinister motives while a few still stand by you and support you without any sinister motive..
    But if God be for us who can ever be against us, just focus on God, yourself and your family , work hard in getting ahead and watch God crown your efforts with success.
    @Marlee: you are right, though there are good men abound, am still sure if most widows are to talk about men right now, very few will have good things to say, this has nothing to do with generalization but just experiences of the world we live in and the way it is viewed that a widow seems to have no choice than to accept whatever is thrown at her! You will be surprised that most of the educated and seemingly happily married ones are even the culprits.
    Truth is just focus on ahead and move on, every other thing will fall in place!

  7. jinkelele

    June 12, 2017 at 11:29 am

    Nice

  8. Omoté

    June 12, 2017 at 11:30 am

    Wow! Had tears in my eyes reading this. She did what she had to. Her kids came first! They turned out good, women like this let us know, it is hard, it is terrifying but it can be done. She’s done raising her kids, now it’s time to seek companionship. Well done ma’am!

  9. G.baby

    June 12, 2017 at 11:50 am

    So inspiring, its been God all through that gave you such courage and wisdom. But all the same you have paid you dues and its time to also find someone that can take care of your emotional needs which is also important for you, later in life when the kids will no longer be there due to their responsibility to their future immediate family too. May God grant you the grace to make the right choice and marry a man that will compliment you.

    cheers

  10. Tolulope Bode-Adeoye

    June 12, 2017 at 12:19 pm

    Omg thank you so much for posting the story, I’m so excited ❤️❤️ God bless

    • Mosunmoluwa Adeleke

      June 12, 2017 at 2:26 pm

      Tolu, i may not have told you while we were in school but if i have any wprd to describe your mum, it is strong.i never met herbut i saw pictures,we spoke and i just knew, i knew she is a superwoman and strong and amazing and beautiful. I am so glad God gave her sweet songs to sing. She is a great woman and i wish her more laughter and more joy. I give God the glory and i commend you for not breaking her heart and for maintaing your hometraining???Thank you and thank God for enduring Bamidele’s notes just to make it to June 4. Congrats again baby girl…

  11. Busola AA

    June 12, 2017 at 1:20 pm

    Awesome mummy! You are inspirational!

  12. iJo

    June 12, 2017 at 1:29 pm

    She’s so awesome! God continue to bless you Ma

  13. Smallie

    June 12, 2017 at 1:43 pm

    I love this. Truly inspiring. God bless you ma & continue to keep you and your family.

  14. Funmu Femi-Adegbite

    June 12, 2017 at 1:59 pm

    For you to be able to achieve this you just have to be a strong willed woman. Tayo you are a strong woman Thank God for how He has been your help.Your best s yet to come. We miss you in Port Harcourt.

  15. john

    June 12, 2017 at 3:22 pm

    Now that is a strong woman..I raise my cap to u..may u find the happiness that u seek and deserve …nothing is impossible

  16. olabisi okikiolu

    June 12, 2017 at 6:26 pm

    Have known you to be a fighter. God is forever faithful. You will laugh last.

  17. Nene Akinnola

    June 12, 2017 at 6:27 pm

    You are a brave and strong woman. Uncle Bode has been watching over you with the Almighty God. It is already ending in praise and the end will always be praise all the way in Jesus name. Amen.

  18. Queen Mother

    June 12, 2017 at 7:18 pm

    Great Woman,I salute you and God bless you so much,You will surely enjoy the fruits of your Labour.

  19. Purplieciousbabe

    June 12, 2017 at 8:46 pm

    Hugs!! Raised by single Mum though not by choice. I thank God for how far you have come. Olusuji is proud of you and your efforts. I think you be proud of yourself too. God bless your journey and Testimony. X

  20. Tunde Akinwumi

    June 13, 2017 at 7:05 am

    God that has been your Source,Strenght and Solace shall continue to provide and guide you. Indeed you have done Great. The Grace and Glory of GOD upon you and your family, shall be multiplied in JESUS Mighty Name.

  21. Adebisi Akinfele

    June 13, 2017 at 8:51 pm

    Kemi, my sister, you are blessed!!!

  22. Ammai

    June 23, 2017 at 5:10 pm

    I can relate, i have been a widow for 8 years, my daughter was just 6 months old when her dad passed. In all honesty, as a widow you can only rely on God for help.

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