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The Nwando: How I Almost Married A Gay Man

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To help yourself, you must be yourself.” ~Dave Pelzer

Hello, my name is Nwando and I almost married a gay man.

Years ago I had a meet cute; a meet cute is a scene just like you see in the movies where a future romantic couple meets for the first time in a way that is considered adorable. The months and year that followed were truly magical. The more time we spent together, the harder the butterflies fluttered. He really was a great friend, the perfect gentleman (he respected my choice of celibacy and never pushed) and on paper, he ticked absolutely all the boxes of what a ‘marriage material’ should represent other than the giant elephant in the room. He was gay.

I remember the hollow feeling I felt when I found out that I would never have the right combination of beards and testosterone to ever really be his type. The many ways my heart broke when I read his conversations of his future plans of using viagra to get a physical reaction. The discussion of how he would use insemination as alternative choice for childbirth, after I’d been ‘trapped’ successfully.

He was as gay as a rainbow, and it struck me that gay no dey show for face. I just never saw it. It’s not always the stereotypical effeminate dressing and finger snapping. Sometimes a gay man is the manly man that’s a homophobe;  he is the one that complains about homosexuals on television forcing a lifestyle while he refreshes his page on Grindr to see if he has any new matches.

I think that it’s a new level of low to meet, date and eventually marry a good woman, always with the knowledge of who you are. I understand the need to appear to be as normal as the next guy with a good job, a beautiful wife and intelligent kids; but what if that’s just not your reality? A wolf in sheep’s clothing is still a wolf. Why pull someone else into your fantasy of who you want to become without said person’s knowledge and approval?

I’ve come to realize that this is apparently a common thing and I guess I just have questions. So here we go; why do gay men seek to deceive and marry women? Is it actually sustainable? Would you marry the man of your dreams even though you find out he’s gay? If you do marry him and you live a comfortable life with the knowledge that you never have to worry about your generation’s well being in terms of wealth and material things, would it be worth it? Is a woman marrying a gay man as bad as a man marrying a lesbian? If not, why the double standards?

Years later, I’m able to talk and be amused by this situation but it really isn’t a funny one. The psychological trauma that comes with dating a gay man is real, so I can only imagine the one that comes with actually marrying one. It’s important to take the time to consider the implication of our actions on others. Don’t be so busy trying to save yourself that you don’t notice you’re drowning someone else in the process.

Love x Light,

N.
Photo Credit:  Dmytro Zinkevych | Dreamstime.com

77 Comments

  1. Iris

    July 3, 2017 at 2:44 pm

    While i agree that the deception is all shades of wrong, your question about why they deceive women should be as obvious as the sun is bright. What you should be asking is what we can do in society so that gay men no longer feel the need to deceive women so that they appear ‘normal.’

    • nedy

      July 3, 2017 at 5:51 pm

      Clap for yourself. In all this push for gay people to feel among, you all are ready to push other humans into the Atlantic ocean. So we should donate $1M for kidnapper Evans so he can stop kidnapping abi? A gay man deceives a woman and gives her hell and you blame the society. Would have been hilarious if it wasn’t very sad.

    • Sirl

      July 3, 2017 at 7:09 pm

      Is this really about society or about integrity?

    • Iris

      July 3, 2017 at 8:00 pm

      @nedy okay now. Siddon there and they will continue to marry straight women who when they’re dating will be thanking God that they’ve found someone who respects their choice for celibacy. The most you can do is curse at them when the truth comes out. LOL
      Mtchew continue looking for plaster to stick on the problem. Plaster will eventually finish.

  2. peter

    July 3, 2017 at 2:47 pm

    Grabs popcorn and soda..Let the comments roll in..lol

  3. Weezy

    July 3, 2017 at 3:00 pm

    Thanks for the read, homophobe.

    This piece is so devoid of specifics, I find it hard to believe that you”almost married a gay man”. Sounds like you hung out with someone many years ago, didn’t date him, clearly didn’t sleep with him (if you did, you would state it). Being friends with a gay man, does not mean you almost married him.

    You’re angry about something, but God knows what. And don’t even try to tell me it’s about beards. If it were, your examples would be specific, more than one, and recent.

    • slice

      July 3, 2017 at 3:21 pm

      She said she was celibate and he respected​ that choice

    • Ada

      July 3, 2017 at 3:50 pm

      Lol. Do you know her personally? Why are you so sure this is made up and all in her head? You sound angry oh

    • Corolla

      July 3, 2017 at 5:27 pm

      @Weezy, se o fori gba ni?

    • nedy

      July 3, 2017 at 5:40 pm

      This man never proposed to you,never slept with you…no details at all. Truly this is just some girl trying to get reactions. People with issues are quiet and you are wailing.

    • Rubby

      July 4, 2017 at 1:00 am

      Did u really read d article, or were you just obsessed with finding something to criticize???

  4. No Headaches Please

    July 3, 2017 at 3:03 pm

    There’s this huge hole in your story.
    And it’s one I want to siiiiiink in.
    HOW did you find out?
    And when you found out, did it occur to you that you may have ignored many obvious signs?

    I’m a woman.
    I would stake anything on a woman’s intuition.

    While I hope you come back to fill me in on all the missing pieces, I’ll just settle here comfortably with my coffee waiting for aaall the delicious comments to roll in. *literally shaking with excitement

    • Nee

      July 3, 2017 at 3:21 pm

      She’s lying. I don’t know why these BellaNaija contributors feel the need to make up stories about things happening to them. If you want us to come here and argue about gay people, just ask the question right from the beginning. Spare us the made up stories.

    • slice

      July 3, 2017 at 3:24 pm

      She stumbled on messages where he was talking about his plan. I agree this may not be the most explicit article but it’s not as devoid of details as you seem to think.

    • Sheri

      July 3, 2017 at 3:32 pm

      Honestly it’s a good topic…but the story was obviously fictional. She should have just said its a fictional story because I can tell she’s lying.

    • Ada

      July 3, 2017 at 3:50 pm

      Maybe she would rather keep that detail to herself?

    • Mama Z

      July 3, 2017 at 4:19 pm

      You guys simply don’t read to understand, but to throw dark marks on people’s stories. Don’t you think, that the every writer on Bella is lying, is becoming STALE.

      She found out via snooping on his text messages nd conversations, when she said, and I quote
      “The many ways my heart broke when I read his conversations of his future plans of using viagra to get a physical reaction. The discussion of how he would use insemination as alternative choice for childbirth, after I’d been ‘trapped’ successfully. ”

      Read ND understand before displaying ur I too know attitude.

    • Neloshalo.com

      July 3, 2017 at 6:39 pm

      Maybe you could consider her lack of specifics to be, she does not want to give the person away. The man in question may not be out of the closet still and it is not her job to out him. REmember she is not writing under a pseudonym but with her real name. there will be people who read and know her.

    • Bad

      July 3, 2017 at 8:06 pm

      Who were the text conversations with? His mom? Dad? Certainly not bestie because they would have talked about it face to face…who else? Unless the text conversations were with you his ‘girlfriend’ and that would be ODD! Closeted gays don’t just go about texting their marital concerns…fake story!!!

    • Bad

      July 3, 2017 at 9:49 pm

      @neloshalo.com
      If writer used her real name, then the gay boyfriend already knows its him she is writing about and her friends and family who know who she dated now know too who she is writing about…so she already blew his cover… the story is a figment of writer’s imagination, it never happened… I understand she is speaking out for people (heterosexual men and women alike) who have been or being deceived into forever by gay and bisexual people but she shouldn’t have put up this ridiculous far-fetched ‘real life’ illustration…this is a slap on the faces of analytical and deeply intellectual adults…lol

  5. Tre

    July 3, 2017 at 3:19 pm

    Stupid article vague and pointless

  6. Enny Heart Heart

    July 3, 2017 at 3:19 pm

    Ha! It’s Lotanna. Hey girl good job on your writing

  7. A.E

    July 3, 2017 at 3:20 pm

    Sure you didn’t see the part were she stated she wanted to be celibate until marriage. Not everybody is a homophobe. People are married to active gay men and are experiencing real mental trauma. It’s not always about the gays. Victims of such deception matter too.

    • Jayn

      July 3, 2017 at 5:37 pm

      That part is a lie too! The entire article is made up.

  8. Jide

    July 3, 2017 at 3:22 pm

    This article is quite silly. Was he planning to continue sleeping with men after marrying you? (assuming he wanted to marry you at all, which I don’t believe at al) Or was he ready to be faithful to you as your husband?

  9. MurdaSheWrote

    July 3, 2017 at 3:24 pm

    Wow, just wow. I can’t wait to read our resident gay boy, Mohammed’s thoughts on this. He probably would not do this. So Mo, if you’re around please comment o. Would you try this just to save face in Naija?

    • Mohammad

      July 4, 2017 at 1:52 am

      You’re right. I would personally not do it because thankfully, I have put myself in a position to be open with my immediate family and friends about my sexuality. However, I know very many homosexuals married to or planning to marry members of the opposite sex. I do not condone it (and not simply from the point of view of protecting the other person from “psychological” harm as this writer appears to only be selfishly concerned with, but because I have decided to live my life to the fullest, most honest, and as a result, most satisfying extent of my capabilities).

      I also understand that not many people have the strength of character and/or support network of family or friends to withstand the pressure in society to confirm and be married by a certain age. Sadly, situations like these can only be met with schadenfreude by victimised and now angry gay people just so they can be afforded the right to live in peace.

  10. Rae

    July 3, 2017 at 3:25 pm

    I strongly believe my ex-lover is gay as well. I was celibate during the time and he was comfortable with it. I mean we will kiss til I was crazy with pleasure but brother-man will just push me aside and say he is not doing.

    He loves his male friends and will do anything for them. When we go out he is always quick to tell people I’m his girlfriend but I never ever felt like a girlfriend cos he was only present enough but never as a true boyfriend.

    I know my story might be confusing but if you have ever been in a situation where everybody but you says you are in a relationship with a certain person, you will know what I mean.

    He was only truly passionate when he was high or should I say drunk. If he isn’t drunk, he never kisses me passionately. I always used to think it was cute that he was afraid to crush me cos I’m tiny but I got to realise that brother only loses control when he was drunk. If he isn’t drunk, the kiss was just blehhh.

    One day I decided to give him head but brother didn’t get an erection. Was I shocked? no but how can a woman be willing to give you head and your kini is just flat like deflated balloon. That’s when my suspicions began to grow but I loved him and just ignored.

    My dear, love still covered my eyes until one day things just came to a head and I decided to walk away. The whole thing was baffling. But thinking about it now, I just decided brother-man might be gay

    • Jide

      July 3, 2017 at 5:40 pm

      You are a typical foolish Nigerian woman whose understanding of the world is limited to the foundation on her nose. So, you think that, a man being close to his male friends is a sign of suspicion? Would you have been happier if he were willing to do anything for his female friends?

      And secondly, maybe he didn’t get an erection because he simply wasn’t horny? A gay man, just like a straight man, can get an erection whenever he wants by simply picturing something he finds truly sexually attractive in his head. If he wanted your blow job, he could simply have let you do it while imagining it was a hot man sucking him off instead. Maybe the problem is you? Maybe you just aren’t as attractive as you think, and your oral sex is not as appealing as you want to believe!

    • Ear

      July 3, 2017 at 7:25 pm

      Brother might be gay because??? He doesn’t react to Head? You were celibate and he was comfortable with it? Na wah oh, He nor wan kiss until he is high means he might be gay? Seems you need to know what a might be gay person is – its someone that’s attracted to only guys. If a good guy decide to stay celibate you might think he is gay?

    • funmilola

      July 3, 2017 at 9:45 pm

      Wow jide, you are very rude!
      You would have simply opposed her opinion without insulting her.

  11. Malik

    July 3, 2017 at 3:51 pm

    Its such a silly write-up. I don’t even know where to start from. See you talking about the psychological trauma of dating a gay man without caring about the socio-psycholological trauma of being one or being labelled one.

    Then, what sort of conclusion is it that gay men seek to marry women??? Based on what statistics, biko? It’s not a desire, it is what the Nigerian context demands. See what Nigerians do to the likes of Bisi Alimi?

    It almost seems like you’re suggesting gay men place a tag on their foreheads to prevent ladies from forgeing relationships with them. You neglect the Nigerian context and the impending imprisonment or mob lynching that could accompany such honesty.

    Our dear writer, how about a more balanced use of the word “reality”. How about a little more empathy and a little less desperation for social media attention?

    • slice

      July 3, 2017 at 4:29 pm

      She should empathy for someone after he wasted her​ time with his fake relationship. Dear God and stop asking from another what you cannot give

    • Iris

      July 3, 2017 at 4:38 pm

      Honestly your first paragraph just summed it up, but i was trying to be sympathetic so i kept quiet about that part

  12. bruno

    July 3, 2017 at 3:57 pm

    u are a liar and a fraud. u have never met a gay guy before neither have u ever dated a gay guy. u wrote this article based on stereotypes and assumptions.

    ” The many ways my heart broke when I read his conversations of his future plans of using viagra to get a physical reaction. The discussion of how he would use insemination as alternative choice for childbirth, after I’d been ‘trapped’ successfully.”

    pls how did u stumble on the conversation. where was he having the conversation? on whatsapp? BBM? with who? which normal thinking person has this kind of conversation sef. talking about artificial insemination. who does that?

    ” I understand the need to appear to be as normal as the next guy”

    just see homophobia and ignorance. can u tell us what a “normal guy” is? define what a “normal guy” is for us.

    ” If you do marry him and you live a comfortable life with the knowledge that you never have to worry about your generation’s well being in terms of wealth and material things,”

    why do nigerians believe all gay people are rich? such a stupid stereotype. nigerians belive all gay people are extremely wealthy which is a huge lie.

    ” Years later, I’m able to talk and be amused by this situation but it really isn’t a funny one. The psychological trauma that comes with dating a gay man is real,”

    typical nigerian woman. even tho u never dated a gay guy u are already claiming physiological trauma. u are already playing the victim. even tho nothing happened to u, u are already saying ur a victim. tomorrow u will carry banner and start marching with tontoh and co. claiming victim even tho nothing happened to u.

    this girl that wrote this article is mentally unstable. this kind of chic is a chic that will frame u up if u mess with her.

    u remind me of that mad woman from the movie gone girl. beautiful in appearance but a deadly psychopath. nigerian men u better avoid this chic. she is crazy. for someone to make all this up and claim it happened to her, she must be really bat-sh!t crazy.

    • chapter 29

      July 3, 2017 at 4:04 pm

      Bruno, Live your truth. your female hormones too much kilode

    • Nayna Somto

      July 3, 2017 at 5:12 pm

      How can u tell for sure that this didn’t happen to her. You cannot call her a fraud because the human mind can conceive anything.so it might just as well have happened

    • BrownAnne

      July 3, 2017 at 9:55 pm

      Bruno you are shouting, why are you shouting???

    • Jeff

      July 3, 2017 at 9:57 pm

      Lmao you must be gay???

  13. remi

    July 3, 2017 at 4:00 pm

    Gays on BN are out in full force defending and attacking her

  14. iou

    July 3, 2017 at 4:10 pm

    I wondered why people questioned the truth in the story until I read Rae’s comment/ story. Rae walked you through what it feels like to be in that situation, it felt real , I guess that’s what the article is missing although. I would not be quick to say the story is false

  15. Benita

    July 3, 2017 at 4:13 pm

    Are you a gay? Cos the bashing is unbearable.

    • Rhonda jackson

      July 5, 2017 at 8:18 am

      The way you phrased the question “Are you a gay?” Shows you are a very ignorant and idiotic judgmental illiterate person. What has voicing his opinions and trying to educate backward and 18th century jungle nomads like you got to do with him being gay himself?

  16. bruno

    July 3, 2017 at 4:16 pm

    I had a brief conversation with someone who has german ancestry on his mother side.
    I am going to write an article for bellanaija. this will be the heading of the article.

    my name is bruno: I NEARLY MARRIED A NAZI.

    • Jezebel

      July 3, 2017 at 7:43 pm

      ?????

    • teem

      July 7, 2017 at 1:44 pm

      Lmao

  17. rutty

    July 3, 2017 at 4:18 pm

    just passing

  18. ms lala

    July 3, 2017 at 4:24 pm

    Mannnn…Nigerians cannot see or read between the lines. She did not lie about dating that guy, I don’t know if they were serious but he is real and you all bloody love him. She dropped hints and y’all missed it. The man she is talking about is real real real and is a very sweet guy that will never come out cuz he is now engaged

    • C

      July 3, 2017 at 4:47 pm

      Spill tea pleeease 🙂 patiently waiting. Banky married, 2Face obviously sperm attack women lol who else we all love like that idk …

    • Cocolette

      July 3, 2017 at 5:24 pm

      See gist! Give clues abeg… is it who I think? Yekpa!!!

    • sweetzie

      July 5, 2017 at 2:29 am

      Ah this is serious o??. Let me read this article again.

  19. john

    July 3, 2017 at 4:29 pm

    it is like this writer and nkem ndem went to the same school of make believe…what about lesbians..in fact they are more lesbians in Nigeria than gay men… is it not some naive poor dude marrying those lesbians..most of the female actresses and nigerian women u see are hardcore dykes..and nothing can satisfy them except their fellow women’s fingers and tongue..No wonder they dont play with oral sex

    • C

      July 3, 2017 at 5:00 pm

      I’d say there’s no such thing as a lesbian. Here’s why you have a man that can eat it out good or woman or man finger and dick it down good or woman or dildo. We just like clit stimulating and vaginal orgasms as well. I find Men deliciously attractive like I want to lick their beautiful chocolate wonder but I’m very aware a woman eating me out or tribbing me will also feel great cause that’s all clitoral stimulation which a man or even solo I can do. I could fuck a guy in the @ss with a dildo but why would I want a b!tch as a man but on the other hand there’s nothing a woman can do to a woman sexually that a straight man can’t or would refuse and if he does it well there’s no “lesbian” that turn him down thus I say women who only want women are weird or never had the right guy yet. Lesbian and Gay porn still the best though Gay porn guys always hot unlike reality and Lesbians porn do like everything. Women are the biggest freaks but guys don’t know that.

    • john

      July 4, 2017 at 8:55 am

      but I’m very aware a woman eating me out or tribbing me will also feel great cause that’s all clitoral stimulation which a man or even solo I can do. Lesbian and Gay porn still the best though Gay porn guys always hot unlike reality and Lesbians porn do like everything. Women are the biggest freaks but guys don’t know that……………[email protected] , girl u better come out of the closet and be free..but I have a feeling either way , sex with u will be fun and grep though..and also u right in some of ur comment, one of the best sex I have experienced is with a hardcore lesbian when I was doing my studies in UK and by hard core , I mean the sinn sage hardcore type( which is her favorite porn actress( I didnt know at the time but later she was honest with me and I respect her for that and we are still friends till today) as far as ure oral and finger game is good..ure good to go

  20. Nwaoma

    July 3, 2017 at 4:34 pm

    Well the one I know a good friend of mine actually married a gay , she said she will endure and bear the cross without Viagra no show, but the guy never showed feelings or affection , she walked out of the marriage and bride price was returned. So gays. Marry but my own is tell the person ahead before commitment

  21. Sunshiney

    July 3, 2017 at 5:15 pm

    I don’t believe that gays or bisexuals have a right to lie about themselves. If you realize that someone who’s straight likes you, set them straight (for want of a better word) on your issue. If you lose a friend then they were never your real friend anyway…

    • Ffam

      July 3, 2017 at 9:38 pm

      Pause. So if the person sets you up, exposes you or reports you to police, what next? Baby you have no right to be angry at us o. You can’t say you will arrest us and then turn around and expect us to expose ourselves. I for one am a handsome chappy with a girlfriend and a thug boo. I’m not going to jail for anyone so until your country decides to live my truth, I will continue to shield myself with your sister. Bye!

  22. LemmeRant

    July 3, 2017 at 5:26 pm

    In all of this, me I’m just confused.

    Why I’m confused is simple: Now if I have a fiancée who says she wants to be celibate (Note before you can pull this stunt you must also be a virgin.)
    Am I now gay for trying to respect her decision?

  23. Aminat

    July 3, 2017 at 5:57 pm

    I am side-eying the hell out of this article. How can you say something caused you psychological drama but you cannot clearly articulate your story? It really just feels fake. I do believe that you want to start this discussion but I don’t believe this is your story.

  24. Jite

    July 3, 2017 at 5:59 pm

    So I read through and it seems that a lot of Gay people are present on this post.

    On reasons why a Gay guy would want to marry a girl is obvious,once you clock a certain age and you don’t have a Gf or a fiancé people will shine a light on you definately

    Its hard having a different sexual orientation in Nigeria and so most people are forced to enlist a human shield to cover up their homosexuality.
    Nice write up but its feels too fictional

  25. A.D.A.

    July 3, 2017 at 6:12 pm

    So you believe homosexuality is abnormal but for the life of you can’t fathom why some gay men may try to marry women?? This a mystery for real; someone get Sherlock Holmes on the phone so we can make sense of all this…

  26. Ivieknows

    July 3, 2017 at 6:36 pm

    @bruno, you maybe a gay man like many Nigerian men who cannot define that they are, and This is a problem. Please don’t trivialize the article because even if her story is allegedly fake, this is a real concern in the Nigerian community. There are many African gays suffering from confusion, because there’s no one in the culture available to help them understand. Therefore; women and men who are gay don’t even know to. figure it out & define themselves, they don’t know how express their sexuality instead they frustrate their straight counterparts.

    For a straight woman, unafraid to live in her truth, discovering you are dating an undercover gay man is messed up. I get it is hard to be a strong black man and be gay. However it is even worse to live a lie, and be a passive aggressive asshole, because you an insecure person, and” hurt people, hurt people”. I think it’s a real dilemma that a man can be married for years and not touch his wife – and only want to have sex for the sake of procreating, this is a clue, I don’t believe in asexual dudes or girls.

    Other clues to look out for;

    1. If your man in unusually too accommodating; and sometimes you want to say ” hey gf” – how you doing?
    2. If he has too much lubes, like over a dozen around his room.. side eye
    3. if he has a hard time staying hard during sex
    4. if he notice everyman that looks at him or you
    5. if he thinks other people sexual behaviors are beneath his, for example he thinks other people are animals
    6. If he is aggressive to other men for no reason
    7. if he too self righteous – lol

    For girls;
    1. not sure; I do suspect girlfriends who make me their man along the way. e.g. you don’t tell them where you going, and they need you all the time.

  27. No Headaches Please

    July 3, 2017 at 6:54 pm

    Ladies and semi – men.

    I’m not denying the veracity of the poster’s story.

    How could I?

    I don’t know her and I wasn’t there.

    When I said ‘a huge hole’, I meant bits and pieces of her story that just seemed… incomplete…

    If we knew even half of what happens in the world outside our window…

    Ehen, so only one person has recounted a personal experience?? Why na??

    Gosh, and I’ve been refreshing my cup for nothing??? ???

    • No Headaches Please

      July 3, 2017 at 7:47 pm

      I just wanted to do amebo today I confess. ?

  28. Kinikan

    July 3, 2017 at 7:35 pm

    Guys I kinda believe this thing.
    I think my husband is gay or is still in denial he’s gay.
    I’ve had boyfriends in the past and I know how it feels when a man wants you even when he was not in the mood and you seduced him, at the end he just holds like he won’t let go.
    There’s also a strong emotional disconnect, this emotional connection is necessary cuz that’s what makes sex passionate and ordinary kissing will get u guys panting.
    I think he’s very kind to a particular guy friend he has, I have snooped and snooped and all I find is normal men talk betweeen them so maybe he has a crush on his friend and his friend is straight. But my husband will do anything for this guy kinda like when you’ll do anything for the one you love
    My husband doesn’t get horny, we can go months without having sex cuz even me I’m tired of seducing without the right response.
    He’s always complaining how wigs don’t let him get aroused or how the little pubic hair is not visually appeasing meanwhile guys I’ve been with in the past just dive in even if they complain it’s after the sex cuz they couldn’t just hold back
    I truly don’t want to say I regret this marriage but the only reason I got stuck here is cuz I had some bad experiences with the guys in the past and decided to stay celibate till marriage, this my husband comes along with some holy holy attitude and from some other marriages I looked up to I saw that he could as well fit in the shoes of a good God fearing husband.
    To be honest what’s worst is the unknown, my intuition is strong but dear Lord I need a confirmation. I am just hanging in a limbo. The only time we were active sexually is when we were trying for our kids and the sex was planned.
    I don’t have a good sexual lifestyle and I tried masturbating at a point but that’s just not who I am . I need the warmth of a hug and all that mushyness.

    Sorry for the long epistle but we need to get Nigeria to be conducive for gays to come out so we won’t have traps like these.

    • bea

      July 4, 2017 at 2:42 pm

      Wao. i hope your intuition is wrong but if you ever find any proof you can apply to annul the marriage.

      You can also keep seeking counsel (spiritual and professional) because I am suspecting that just as you used him for cooling off after your bad experiences he may as well have used you while his heart is with some else (female).

  29. I laugh in Latin

    July 3, 2017 at 9:17 pm

    Lol. But the writer is gay! Wasn’t she in a fight with Doyin F and Sharon A?? My dear, stop lying and be gay in peace!

  30. Ballerina

    July 3, 2017 at 9:50 pm

    Seen

  31. Ballerina

    July 3, 2017 at 9:52 pm

    Could this story be the other way round? Perhaps he almost married a lesbian ? You know the truth.

  32. Just asking

    July 4, 2017 at 3:51 am

    was his name Rodriguez??

  33. Jadore1

    July 4, 2017 at 4:53 am

    I’m not sure if this article is real or fake;however, Nigeria government needs to legalize same sex marriage so people can marry and love who they want. I live in the U.S. and I voted for the legalization of same sex marriage because as a woman, I tell people I don’t never ever want to get married to an undercover man or a man that is still afraid to come out of the closet. I made sure I told everyone in my face to vote to it. I don’t have problems with the gays or the lesbians. I want everyone to be happy and I’m also protecting me. There are a lot of gays and lesbians in Nigeria, but they are afraid to come out cos of the consequences they will encounter. Nigerian women better get use to marrying undercover brothers for now stop complaining cos they have no option. ????

  34. Jadore1

    July 4, 2017 at 4:55 am

    *** I made sure I told family members to vote for the bill to pass****

  35. keke driver

    July 4, 2017 at 9:07 am

    ………….WE HAVE MANY OF THEM ON BN “Sometimes a gay man is the manly man that’s a homophobe; he is the one that complains about homosexuals on television forcing a lifestyle while he refreshes his page on Grindr to see if he has any new matches.”.

  36. keke

    July 5, 2017 at 3:08 am

    Yes i hear there are some #gay nigerian men who have kids, careers and wives in Canada. Often times the organizations they work for is run or heavily influenced by gays too. #openyaeyes

  37. Rose

    July 6, 2017 at 3:09 am

    I laugh whenever i see women insulting gay men . As long as homosexual men cannot live in peace they will keep using us to cover their sexuality .

  38. Theresa Doghor

    July 9, 2017 at 10:59 pm

    Any man I marry must choose to please God above all else.

    The believer lives above sin

    I can’t pretend to understand the man who copes with being raped by a cousin, uncle or friend by becoming gay but I pray that the Spirit of God comforts all and gives power to live above sin in Jesus name, amen.

  39. RR

    February 4, 2018 at 2:22 am

    I stumbled on this article while searching for others who have been through what I recently experienced. The narrative sounds exactly like mine. May God expose all the Gay men pretending to be straight in Naija just to hook women. I have no problem with Gay people, I just do not like those who marry straight women to cover up their shame. I pray God heals my heart, it has been over a month and i still feel the pain.

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