Allen Dew: The Period of Waiting

Are you waiting for something? How long have you waited for it? Do you sometimes feel lonely in your waiting period? Do you have this feeling that people are judging you because of your predicament? Lastly, do you sometimes feel like giving up?

Let me be honest with you, if the answer to the questions above is “Yes”, it doesn’t make you weak, it means you are “Human”.

I have had to wait for something for 11 years. Mine was career recognition; but for others it could be marriage proposal, a godly spouse, children, job, financial breakthrough, health and many more.

The waiting period is not easy, even for the lion hearted. Sometimes, even as strong as you think you are, you sense that people are judging you, and it affects your morale. There are times that you are so positive that “this is my year” and then, life happens and your opportunity goes away. There are times that you know that you have given your “all”, it’s all on the table and yet things are not happening.

I feel you and honestly, I really don’t know what to tell you, other than to just share a part of my story. It may cheer you up and give you the courage to continue.

It’s always easy for humans to talk about things they don’t have emotional connections with. Talk is cheap, people say. I like to hear from people going through “fire” and also look forward to hearing their stories after the storm is over. I like to hear from people who refused to stay on the ground, even when all hope was lost; people who were pushed beyond their elastic limit but refused to give up.

There is a lesson in this story for humanity; whenever you come across an individual who has been waiting for a long time, the first thing is not for you to encourage them; that’s for later. The first thing is for you to listen. Allow them to pour it all out, especially when they feel comfortable sharing it with you. Don’t interrupt with the “show courage” sermon, trust me, if you have not been there, you don’t know what it feels like. Please, keep mute and LISTEN. No words please; if they cry, cry with them in silence but keep LISTENING. Now is not the time to share your own story (be it fake or real). Encourage them to pour it all out, show empathy, be a good person and show love (only good people show genuine love).

I used to know a lady who had issues with her career. Nothing was working and she was going to lose her job; you could tell that she was worried because of all the financial commitments. She had been waiting for some time for the situation to change but nothing was changing. She knew that leaving that job (as at then) would be like jumping from “frying pan into fire”; there was no other job out there. She had to tough it out till the situation changed.

As at when she had this discussion with me, she had been waiting for things to change for about 5 years. She needed someone to talk to and found me to be a willing listener. After pouring her hearts out, she said something that baffled me; she said “Allen, you really can’t understand what I am going through. You are not in my shoes”. Our cases were both career related but different. What she didn’t know is that even though I listened, I had also been waiting for about 7 years for my case to be resolved. So, I told her that I was not “in her shoes” but I could relate with her story. I encouraged her to keep believing and stay positive; God resolves all issues if we faint not.

I know some good people waiting for a spouse; some of them have been waiting for many years, and sometimes you wish you could do something about their situation but you can’t. There are people who have been waiting for children; they have tried their best but nothing seems to work. Let me give you this encouragement: someone once told me that “it’s never the end until everything works out”. Even if you have waited for 10 years, the fact that you have not met that handsome and Godly man, it’s still not the end of your story. Don’t let spiteful people put you down; waiting is hard but never lose the essence of yourself while waiting.

There are people whose life took a wrong turn at a certain period due to decisions they took. I know a couple guys like that; a lot of people judge them but when I had personal discussions with them, I realised one thing: they waited for so long and when things were not changing, they decided to change the essence of their “being”. No, don’t do that to yourself. No matter how long it takes, stay true to who you are. Don’t get bitter, envious or jealous. Be happy for people who did not have to wait.

My heart goes out to you. Cheers.

Photo Credit: Nanditha Rao | Dreamstime