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Allen Dew: The Period of Waiting

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Are you waiting for something? How long have you waited for it? Do you sometimes feel lonely in your waiting period? Do you have this feeling that people are judging you because of your predicament? Lastly, do you sometimes feel like giving up?

Let me be honest with you, if the answer to the questions above is “Yes”, it doesn’t make you weak, it means you are “Human”.

I have had to wait for something for 11 years. Mine was career recognition; but for others it could be marriage proposal, a godly spouse, children, job, financial breakthrough, health and many more.

The waiting period is not easy, even for the lion hearted. Sometimes, even as strong as you think you are, you sense that people are judging you, and it affects your morale. There are times that you are so positive that “this is my year” and then, life happens and your opportunity goes away. There are times that you know that you have given your “all”, it’s all on the table and yet things are not happening.

I feel you and honestly, I really don’t know what to tell you, other than to just share a part of my story. It may cheer you up and give you the courage to continue.

It’s always easy for humans to talk about things they don’t have emotional connections with. Talk is cheap, people say. I like to hear from people going through “fire” and also look forward to hearing their stories after the storm is over. I like to hear from people who refused to stay on the ground, even when all hope was lost; people who were pushed beyond their elastic limit but refused to give up.

There is a lesson in this story for humanity; whenever you come across an individual who has been waiting for a long time, the first thing is not for you to encourage them; that’s for later. The first thing is for you to listen. Allow them to pour it all out, especially when they feel comfortable sharing it with you. Don’t interrupt with the “show courage” sermon, trust me, if you have not been there, you don’t know what it feels like. Please, keep mute and LISTEN. No words please; if they cry, cry with them in silence but keep LISTENING. Now is not the time to share your own story (be it fake or real). Encourage them to pour it all out, show empathy, be a good person and show love (only good people show genuine love).

I used to know a lady who had issues with her career. Nothing was working and she was going to lose her job; you could tell that she was worried because of all the financial commitments. She had been waiting for some time for the situation to change but nothing was changing. She knew that leaving that job (as at then) would be like jumping from “frying pan into fire”; there was no other job out there. She had to tough it out till the situation changed.

As at when she had this discussion with me, she had been waiting for things to change for about 5 years. She needed someone to talk to and found me to be a willing listener. After pouring her hearts out, she said something that baffled me; she said “Allen, you really can’t understand what I am going through. You are not in my shoes”. Our cases were both career related but different. What she didn’t know is that even though I listened, I had also been waiting for about 7 years for my case to be resolved. So, I told her that I was not “in her shoes” but I could relate with her story. I encouraged her to keep believing and stay positive; God resolves all issues if we faint not.

I know some good people waiting for a spouse; some of them have been waiting for many years, and sometimes you wish you could do something about their situation but you can’t. There are people who have been waiting for children; they have tried their best but nothing seems to work. Let me give you this encouragement: someone once told me that “it’s never the end until everything works out”. Even if you have waited for 10 years, the fact that you have not met that handsome and Godly man, it’s still not the end of your story. Don’t let spiteful people put you down; waiting is hard but never lose the essence of yourself while waiting.

There are people whose life took a wrong turn at a certain period due to decisions they took. I know a couple guys like that; a lot of people judge them but when I had personal discussions with them, I realised one thing: they waited for so long and when things were not changing, they decided to change the essence of their “being”. No, don’t do that to yourself. No matter how long it takes, stay true to who you are. Don’t get bitter, envious or jealous. Be happy for people who did not have to wait.

My heart goes out to you. Cheers.

Photo Credit: Nanditha Rao | Dreamstime

In life, there are 10% saints and 10% very bad people. The remaining 80% are "good people with one or more faults". I write for the 80% because I am one of them. My name is Allen Dew; you can read my stories at www.allendew.comShare your stories on www.allendew.com; there is a real world waiting to hear your story. Send the story to [email protected] or [email protected] Allen Dew blogs at www.storieshumanity.com

28 Comments

  1. E

    September 15, 2017 at 3:57 am

    Thank you Allen.

    It is 3;53am here, I am really getting tired of waiting and crying.

    It is really difficult for me at this point but I am hopeful.

    • Olanna&Odenigbo

      September 15, 2017 at 6:19 am

      From one ‘waiter’ to another….. I pray that life gives you enough reasons to continue in spite of whatever desires are yet unfulfilled.

      I can’t even explain how I feel…can only cry for now and just continue living. My current life is 50% hopeful 50% heartbreak and retired…… it’s literally an hourly struggle…. I cling to every opportunity of experiencing joy cos I don’t know how long it lasts before the heaviness returns… much as I can I try to focus on the good things in my life…..cos there are those too… so….

      Xoxo.

  2. ty

    September 15, 2017 at 5:34 am

    I can totally relate to this article. I struggled in college (Fake friends, failed relationships, wrong courses and other circumstances beyond my control) and had to be let go. I asked for help and was roundly ignored. I waited for almost 6 years and now I have decided to enroll elsewhere. They accepted my grades from the college i did well in and now I am starting next year spring. God help me. Thank you Allen for this article. God bless you …..it came at the right time. P.s I go on snapchat to look at snaps of students in colleges in my area just to get into that undergrad mindset.

  3. dandelion

    September 15, 2017 at 7:52 am

    I’m so tired of waiting, I’ve waited all my life, tried severally to change things, it seems my best is not always close to enough, I’ve lost everything, at 22, I’ve nothing to show as an accomplishment,life is really hard.

    • Nikky

      September 15, 2017 at 12:04 pm

      Be patient with yourself. 22 is still very young. You have your whole life ahead of you. Your latter days will be better than the former. Believe this and you will be just fine. Smile because in the end, you will be ok.

    • ty

      September 16, 2017 at 2:53 am

      Girl you are still young and God has so many blessings in store for you. I know the feeling of waiting all your life. You will get through this. cheer up sis.

  4. Waiting too

    September 15, 2017 at 8:26 am

    Thank you so much Allen.
    Some days are better than the others in this waiting phase. I’ve had days of rolling my eyes at God (honestly), other days I’m like “you know what, whatever, I’m still alive and I’m certain God has a plan”.
    As a believer, the folowing scriptures have gotten me through the harder days …Gal 5:22 {AMP version – see what it says about waiting}, Rom 8:28 {AMP version}.
    I pray in the end, our wait will be worthwhile and we won’t have lost ourselves in the wait.
    E-hugsssssssssssss

  5. Sophia

    September 15, 2017 at 8:57 am

    I feel all you have said. I practically struggle all day of my life. Had to leave a job of 12yrs because I was constantly harassed psychological and mentally. Crying has become a norm in my life. But for the saving grace of God, men has failed me in keeping to their promises. Don’t have any friends, it’s really tough, won’t lie about that. Really tough. But I will survive.

  6. Tee

    September 15, 2017 at 8:59 am

    Waiting is difficult, I’ve been waiting for something for over a year. But I am learning to enjoy my life and do other things while I wait.
    I’m learning to leave what I cannot change and just let God. It may take a while but the hope I have is that the wait will soon be over.
    Let’s keep our hopes alive. Cheers

  7. FinchleysFinest

    September 15, 2017 at 9:35 am

    I remember clearly 2010,2011& first quarter of 2012. I was waiting …waiting for things to just be fixed…. all my friends were either in school…graduating/graduated….married /or planning marriage… and I was just there….

    I remember listening to this song (John Waller – While I’m Waiting) while hoping everything will fall into place ..

    All of a sudden …APRIL 2012..God picked up my call… I tell you ..Im year ahead of my peers now…Whatever you’re going through… Just know its not too late… God is never late.. he’s always on time.. Just keep working…praying..praising…

    Now Im waiting on the next phase… Waiting is one bit we go through as human…for every next level..there’ll always be a waiting time… iT IS WELL.

  8. wendu

    September 15, 2017 at 9:46 am

    Beautiful piece, thanks for sharing.

  9. Aderonke

    September 15, 2017 at 11:11 am

    Thank you Allen for this piece….God bless you.

    I have experienced the period of waiting for several things, and I am still a “waiter” (pardon my english) in other things as well.
    I had people to compare events with and that made it worse but I always console myself with “IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE” so i create terrible scenarios in my head and be like haa thank God for me o..lol but shcokingly I latter hear stories of those scenarios are for real!!!
    As in people go through such? And I am like Lord have mercy!

    I waited for a while before getting a good job, I had to be a contract staff when my friends were already managers, I had to wait for a good husband when my friends were already celebrating their children’s birthdays, paying school fees etc, I had to wait to fly a plane once locally when my friends have been round the world but when ‘my waiting period’ for those areas were over the LORD GAVE ME SPEED!. He compensated me well, too much sef and that is why he is the GREAT REWARDER, THE BREAST PLATED ONE, THE ONE WHO GIVES ONE AND TURNS IT TO TRILLIONS, OLOWOGBOGBORO THE GOD WITH NO TIME OR SPACE LIMIT!

    I got married in my mid thirties and the devil brought fears that I will still wait some more for fruits of the womb but within three years I have 2babies…..hahaha as if that wasn’t enough I became a career pillar and source of strength for those around me!
    Within a twinkle of an eye i forgot I waited! YOU WILL FORGET SOON IN JESUS NAME!

    DO I STILL WAIT? YES I DO, I still wait for other things to happen but I now wait in faith and with joy because he has done it before and he will do it again!
    I still wait for my family to get their dreams achieved,
    I still wait for my friends and loved ones to receive their heart desires, I even have a list of their names and when the Lord answers I mark and thank God for the others.

    Please dearest know that we will all still wait at one point or the other, the duration may differ though but in all remember the other things he has answered, stick to your dream, speak positively using his words, hang around those who truly love and believe in you and most importantly never allow the devil steal your JOY. It is yours and yours alone!

    I am a waiter but love waiting on the best of the best blessings instore for me!

  10. I am a testimony of Waiting on God

    September 15, 2017 at 11:44 am

    Can I just encourage all those waiting and tell you that waiting on God is very worth it. It is.

    I remember graduating from uni with a first class and yet nothing was falling in place, interviews being rescheduled or even missing the cut off scores of aptitude tests by 2 marks. I remember saying to myself is this an attack of the devil or a trial from God? That was all I wanted to know so I could approach it correctly. My classmates and friends at this point had resumed work and shame won’t even let me pick their calls, imagine being the best graduating student and still being home after a year. Plus the taunts from neighbours who made snide remarks. I remember being indoors for days at a stretch sometimes, I remember the tears BUT I also remember Psalm 27:13 which kept me going all through this period – I believe I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

    Well, guess what? God in His mercy came through. Not only did I get a full scholarship for my masters, but also afterwards when I returned to Nigeria I got a job with a MNC, which also had a waiting period involved, but to cut the story short, they couldn’t find a role for me in Nigeria but only in the UK and so funded my relocation. Today as a result I’ve got my British citizenship, and a property of my own, things I couldn’t even dream of growing up.

    It is never easy waiting but God gives the grace.

    God is faithful. Hold on to Him.

    • Banke

      September 16, 2017 at 12:11 pm

      THank God for you!

    • bea

      September 18, 2017 at 3:35 pm

      Indeed I thank God for you

  11. I am a testimony of Waiting on God

    September 15, 2017 at 12:28 pm

    I also came to realise that my relationship with God needs to be my number one priority all the time, God is close to the brokenhearted. My biggest blessing in all this is not the things He’s given me but the gift of knowing Him. Nothing can take that away from me wherever I am / whichever situation I find myself.

  12. LostInSpace

    September 15, 2017 at 12:32 pm

    Waiting is what makes us human and alive.. We will always wait for one thing or the other at every point of our lives, but I pray that God grant us the grace to carry on.

  13. Yellow sun

    September 15, 2017 at 12:46 pm

    In his time..he makes everything beautiful
    ALL in his time

  14. Ghostmode

    September 15, 2017 at 12:52 pm

    I have waited for things and i’m still waiting but in the waiting period what i do now is not to forget to live and understand what i’m meant to learn and experience from this waiting period. Looking back at all of my waiting period i’m so glad they happened because when the wait was over it ended at the perfect time not the time i wanted but at the Good Lord’s willed time. I have learnt not to compare myself with anyone, to be content and grateful to be alive and know that as long as i keep pushing hard and giving it my best what is mine will come at the designated time. E-hugs to everyone going through a waiting phase.

  15. chi

    September 15, 2017 at 2:31 pm

    Stay close to God while waiting, never give up. ur time will come n u shall recover all speedily.

  16. chi

    September 15, 2017 at 2:39 pm

    sow seeds too, give to God and for God’s work to fast track ur miracles, check ur family tree to know the source of ur problems, get deliverance, enter into a covenant wit God on behalf of ur family n u to serve God only, pray (midnight prayers),read ur bible and build a personal relationship wit God, fast and praise God thru it. ask God for his mercy on u n ur family n build God centred family n all will be well. believe it, wit God all things r possible. there’s nothing God cannot not do. just surrender ur life God.it is well.

  17. Easy n Gentle

    September 15, 2017 at 6:08 pm

    To share parts of a poem that keeps me going when times get rough
    ——————————-
    You and I know deeper down
    There’s always a chance to win the crown
     
    But when we fail to give our best
    We simply haven’t met the test
    Of giving all, and saving none
    Until the game is really won
     
    Of showing what is meant by grit
    Of fighting on when others quit
    Of playing through, not letting up
    It’s bearing down that wins the cup
    Of taking it and taking more
    Until we gain the winning score
     
    Of dreaming there’s a goal ahead
    Of hoping when our dreams are dead
    Of praying when our hopes have fled
    Yet losing, not afraid to fall
    If bravely, we have given all
     
    For who can ask more of a man
    Than giving all within his span
    Giving all, it seems to me
    Is not so far from victory

    The Road Ahead, The Road Behind by George Joseph Moriaty

  18. T.

    September 15, 2017 at 7:36 pm

    Hi!
    I stumbled on this article on Twitter. Just at the right time. I’m currently in a waiting season of my life. And, oh boy, it’s hard. I’m expecting a financial breakthrough for some time now and it seems it’s not coming. I have done everything I know to do: pray, fast… I cry my eyes out almost everyday. Nobody to talk to.
    It’s hard not to have enough money. It’s hard not to find anyone to lend you as “small” as $150 for your son’s books for the new school year.
    But, I’m more encouraged and lifted up by this article.
    The word of God is the only thing that keeps me going. And my kids. I just pray for God’s grace and more patience to go through this season.
    This too shall pass.
    Right?

  19. Ogoo

    September 15, 2017 at 8:36 pm

    Lovely article Allen…thanks a lot.
    Am waiting for a lot (clear career path, is Msc worth pursuing, ‘my person’, financial uplifmen, moments of settlement n peace-no anxiety). I always feel God is far from me…don’t know why. Crying is like second nature, everyone expects I should have gotten my $hit together…can’t wait for life to start making sense.
    Am grateful for the stuff I don’t have because it’s coming.. Love x peace to fellow waiters.

  20. Emerald

    September 15, 2017 at 10:42 pm

    Waiting……
    Sometimes i do wonder y this……….
    I had to wait for three years before i gained admision into a university (despite that i passed…1st year..Unilag sold my admission MEDICINE….2nd year…recievd my admision letter a month after interview (school of nursing UI) three yr..OAU d same tin…
    By the time i was in second year…….80% of my class mates in sec school were married while four were doing there second degree…..they stop chating with me ignoring my calls n messages.(one returned my facebook message after 4yrs asking if i still remember her).
    Im almost 30 now done with Msc but no work,im tired of searching n just in a new relationship(second)…..the first d guy said i was distrubing him with calls that he will pay me off with all the finiacial assistance i rendered to him (we dated for 3yrs)…..no job…..relationship(Only God knows)
    Im thankful for MY LIFE..
    Im waiting Patiently for the best from God. …LET HIS WILL BE DONE

  21. Olami

    September 16, 2017 at 6:08 am

    I have also waited for years for things to change in my life. Through the wait I have made some terrible mistakes which has compounded my pain. Through the tears, heart wrenching pains I feel, the hopelessness, agony and despair. It has made me withdrawn and lonely. day after day, month after month. I wish this pain will go away forever. But I am hopeful still…………

  22. Stephen Alamu

    September 21, 2017 at 1:54 pm

    Friends waiting is not easy but if we can trust God to the end it will worth it. Joseph waited for 13years in the bible, Abraham waited… The children of Israel waited in Egypt serving Pharoa for many years before deliverance came. Everyone has one thing or the other to wait for just that the waiting time and length differ. But the testimonies too differ.
    We can afford to wait a little more.

  23. Yetunde

    September 21, 2017 at 3:35 pm

    A very good write up……
    Thanks for sharing.

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