Aunty Bella is our agony aunt column on BellaNaija. We launched this column in the early days of BN and periodically feature issues sent in by BN readers.
We hope the BN family can offer insightful advice.
Hello team BellaNaija,
I luckily started reading your blog recently because a colleague made noise about how her wedding guest outfit was featured. She forced us all to go and click. I went through your Aunty Bella posts and I would love to lay my heart out.
I am deeply suffering emotionally and I need help. I have been working with this organization for two years, four months
now. I served as a Youth Corp Member with them and got retained. I have had great satisfaction from the work, even though my salary barely sustains me through the month, I have gained good experience from working there, and I am grateful.
Recently, It has become quite straining working there. Aside from the lack of compliance to paying our salary, the tasks given to me is quite worrisome. I work from 9 AM – 7 PM weekdays, and recently I have been enduring working on weekends too. It is not like I get help getting home after staying at work and leaving when the place is dark. I have endured harassment on some days that I have been stranded after work. I complain, and I hear things like, ‘you are a fine girl, you don’t want men to talk to you?’ All these for a salary of N25, 000.
My bosses make it even harder, making promises of giving bonuses to get us working during the weekends. We never see these bonuses. It has become an environment of terror and disrespect. I am extremely lonely. I can’t communicate or have a sustainable relationship with friends. At 24, I can’t point to anything happening socially for me. I rarely know what is happening around, which explains my recent addiction with your site to indulge in some pop culture.
The extent of harm coming from everything happening reflects in my interaction with people around me. I have always been uptight (the extremely serious girl), and critical about climbing the successful career ladder. Unfortunately, it is not happening as I expect it to.
Family members think that I can take care of everyone’s needs because I work. I mean I receive the strangest calls with demands on everything. I barely have needs of my own. I lack friends. I totally lack a life outside of work.
I would have loved to apply for my masters and further my education starting from the beginning of 2018, but here I am unable to afford even a Masters form in Nigeria! And I work, Really hard too! I have not seen the salary for September, or the month before. Excuses continue at work. I am barely surviving. Depression is growing louder and I have been acting quite irrationally.
My emotional frustration has created a seriously mentally unstable person out of me. There are attributes I am beginning to trace in me. For example, I am beginning to crave attention from people so much that I would do some of the strangest things, just to get attention.
I also fear for my health. Extreme dizziness occurs sometimes. At night, I lack sleep. By day, I lack mental concentration. I need help! I want to talk to people that have encounters to share because I have tried asking Google for help. Not working. I have tried visiting loud places to indulge in some new activities but it only leaves me feeling worse.
Can you connect me for some genuine conversation with some of your Aunty Bella readers with my email: email@example.com
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