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Diaspora Chronicles: Could it Be the American Water? by Kiki Daniel

Diaspora Chronicles

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I have known Femi since he was a toddler and he was the sweetest and most hardworking child any mother could ask for. It therefore did not surprise me that he excelled in academics while schooling in Nigeria and got a scholarship for his undergrad study in the US.

I had promised his mum that when he came over, I would keep an eye on him; but with him living in the West Coast which is far from me, seeing him regularly was almost impossible. I did keep in contact via phone and social media.

One Christmas, Femi was not able to go to Nigeria so I invited him to ours. When he came, I noticed a change in him, but I couldn’t really put a finger on what it was, so I just brushed that feeling aside and took his evasiveness to just him being shy.  On this day, Femi left his phone on the kitchen counter and when it rang and I made to pick it up to hand it to him, the picture on the screen was of him kissing another guy.

I am not one to judge people by their sexual orientation, but I was thrown off that the phone nearly fell into the boiling water on my cooker. I placed it back on the kitchen counter, to avoid him knowing that I had seen it and I called him to come collect it. He did and I didn’t say anything about what I had seen, but I started watching him closely after that. His mannerisms over the next couple of days and his reluctance to hang out with other younger female friends who came to spend Christmas within the neighborhood confirmed my suspicion. I didn’t know if to tell his parents or not, although I reasoned that if it were my child, I would probably like to be told.

Running the issue by another friend of ours back home in Nigeria revealed that this was a becoming a common issue – relatively heterosexual children sent to America or Europe to study were coming back having homosexual tendencies. I wondered if it is the water here turning them gay, or if it was inborn and the permissive environment, in the US, was allowing this orientation to flourish.

Casting my mind to my growing up years in Nigeria, I recall we knew tom boys and boys who had effeminate behaviour, but these same boys all grew up and married people of the opposite sex. If you went to same sex boarding schools, we knew of those who dabbled in lesbianism, but we felt it was just a case of raging hormones and a lack of the opposite sex. The new reality of homosexuality is becoming scary. It is not that homosexuality is not on the rise in Nigeria, but it is still a “shadow event”.

As I was getting over the shock of Femi, I also heard of another friend’s son whose mother stumbled on bestiality on his laptop. Let me educate those that do not know: bestiality is sexual relations between a human being and a lower animal. Let me put it in better perspective, while you are thinking your son loves his “Bingo” so much and that is why he sleeps with him on his bed, the boy may just be getting down with it.

I also heard of another young girl who came back to Nigeria with her supposed “oyibo” best friend for her sister’s wedding and the mother, of course, kept the two of them in the same room. Unfortunately, as a typical Nigerian mother, she barged into her daughter’s room and saw what any mother should not see – her daughter getting down and dirty with her best friend. She screamed and fainted. When she came to, her daughter calmly informed her that this was her partner and that in fact they were married and she was planning on telling her after her sister’s wedding.

I know of yet another young girl in secondary school in the UK who disavowed her parents and became a ward of the state because she told her parents she was gay and the mother slapped her. On reporting to the authorities, they emancipated her from her parents.

Some secondary schools in the UK have gone as far as allowing children who are born of one sex but think they are the other sex to sleep in the dormitory of the sex they feel they are. What I mean is a boy who feels he is a girl can stay in the girl’s dormitory. What is this world turning into and what will I not hear?

Some people have reasoned that homosexuality was present in the 90s and early 2000s too, but because it was demonized then, the perpetrators hid in the shadows. As it is becoming acceptable, they have decided to come out in the open. Nigeria from all indications still has relatively low known numbers of gays in the universities and colleges. In view of this, some parents who would ordinarily send their children to school abroad are now beginning to second guess their decision.

I know as a group, we Nigerians like to feel more Catholic than the pope (myself inclusive) but we tend to hold close our traditions, cultures and religion and as such this homosexuality thing goes against everything we believe in. The joke amongst some friends now is that if your child is caught with someone of the opposite sex, after shouting on them and raising blue murder, you go back in, smile and say, at least, he or she is not gay.

I don’t know if there is going to be a solution to this as they say that you cannot un-gay a gay person, but with the decaying schools in Nigeria and the desire for parents to give their children better opportunities, the risk of heterosexual children returning to Nigeria as gays will have to be one of the considerations on if to allow your children to school in America.

N.B.
Please note that America in this piece is being used as a metaphor as it could be any other western country.

***

Story written by Kiki Daniel of Diaspora Chronicles.

For more stories like this see our blog – www.diasporachronicles.com; Instagram – @diasporachr; Facebook – diaspora chronicles.

Photo Credit: Vadymvdrobot | Dreamstimev

Diaspora Chronicles specialises in insightful stories, articles and news that will help the newbie settle abroad. On the occasion we do write stories that border on entertainment. Our differentiating factor is that we will not share gossip hence our tag line "gossip is so last year"! Check us out on our blog www.diasporachronicles.com, [email protected], Facebook -Diaspora Chronicles and [email protected]

27 Comments

  1. Loool

    November 9, 2017 at 9:54 pm

    I know this is the kind article BN likes to publish. Meanwhile couple of people have mentioned sending in articles which y’all refused to even acknowledge. Yeye

  2. True

    November 9, 2017 at 10:14 pm

    Real yeye

  3. Maumau

    November 9, 2017 at 10:30 pm

    Please, it is not the water here turning them gay oooo. They were gay inside but waiting for the freedom America gives to get loose. Stupid people. Ntoo!!! to rich people as it is a rich people’s problem. The rich also cry !!!!

  4. bodunade

    November 9, 2017 at 10:41 pm

    *Bait* lololol.

    When I was in Uni in Lagos a couple of years ago homosexuals were not hiding o. Same institution Bobby resky ( osheyy barddesst ) honed his now profitable social media persona.

    BTW aunty Kiki what’s your business with what adults are doing with their holes and extensions. Its obvious the purpose of this article is to incite outrage amongst the educated, posh and westernised BN readership.

    Please go watch Luther Vandross’ Secret love video,let US normalize homosexuality and make the world a better place.

  5. Kee

    November 9, 2017 at 10:58 pm

    Homosexuality is a sin period… And yes they were heterosexuals before they traveled….. I know this because I studied here in the states…. American guys approached me thinking that I could be interested…. But I told them that we do not allow homosexual activities in africa….
    I am yet to have children… But I will never train my children here in the United States I pity those who are sending their kids abroad.

  6. BlueEyed

    November 9, 2017 at 11:51 pm

    I stopped reading this crap at “relatively heterosexual children were sent to America to study and coming back with homosexual tendencies”…..I think that has to be the most ignorant and borderline dumb statement I have heard in a while, on this same site where we have people like John and the rest. This article is so ignorant and very embarrassing on all fronts, even people arguing on the other side would disown you on this one.

    • Corolla

      November 10, 2017 at 1:01 am

      I concur with @BlueEyed. Dumbest statement ever.

  7. Weezy

    November 10, 2017 at 12:00 am

    This Kiki Daniel nawa o
    What are you doing in America? Please go back to Nigeria where you can be as judgmental and superior as you want. As for Femi I really pity him having you for an aunty.

  8. Mohammad

    November 10, 2017 at 12:31 am

    Wrong, wrong, wrong, and wrong again. Ma tun fi “wrong” leekan si! This article no get head nor tail, conflating homosexuality with bestiality; resorting to wild conjecture and scare tactics to link both; not to mention the poor use of language to describe something that they clearly don’t understand. “Perpetrators” is the word they used for oduduwa’s sake!
    Where do I even start?

  9. Flower

    November 10, 2017 at 12:57 am

    This is actually the most ignorant article I have ever read on BN. Good job Kiki, your ignorance is truly remarkable.

  10. Maumau

    November 10, 2017 at 5:55 am

    Kiki is writing from his or her perspective or observations. If you have a different take, express it without rudeness. We are all judgemental in one thing or the other and should all stop acting holy because they have not touched on a topic you have a bias about. Some people have shared their experience that they were approached and some maybe were never but that does not change the reality that it is more prevalent in the western world and more prevalent amongst younger people. These are facts and not sentiments. Argue facts and not sentiments or conjectures.

    • Uloma

      November 10, 2017 at 2:26 pm

      Thank you Maumau, the lazy mind resorts to insults when they cannot justify their argument. The author asked a rhetorical question and went ahead to provide the reasoning behind that question. At no time did the author say every child schooling in the states or wherever turns gay. The author said parents may now need to put a lot more into consideration when sending children to school abroad. If you speak to mothers of some gay children they will tell you that they regret ever sending their kids abroad. The question now is was it really “the abroad” that made them gay? Someone presents an argument you take it and present your own understanding of it. Let us learn to confront the truth and stop hauling insults at every given opportunity.

  11. THE MUMMY

    November 10, 2017 at 7:04 am

    IF YOU PRAY FOR THEM THAT THEIR CHILDREN BORN AND UNBORN WILL FOLLOW THIS PATH THEY LOVE AND SUPPORT VEHEMENTLY, THEY WILL BEGIN TO DANCE KOKOMA UNDER MY COMMENT AND SAYING ‘ BACK TO SENDER’ TO MY PRAYER. CONFUSED LOT. LOL

    • Just Negodu

      November 10, 2017 at 2:34 pm

      You are really dumb you know. You really cannot argue intelligently – can you? What is your take on the post. At least try and write your thoughts on this topic and fight your corner. Olopa ewo ntekpe? Dumb ass Mummy GTFOH once again.

  12. anonymous

    November 10, 2017 at 7:38 am

    One thing Nigerians do is generalize. Do you have any statistics to back your assertions? Attention to details matter a lot so as not to scare people who want to send their children here for a better education. Some of us have grown up children and have been here for decades. Over what period of time did you conduct your study if at all? Folks please don’t believe this.

    People’s sexual orientation does not change just by studying here. We Nigerians like to make generalizations without data, maybe because of the scarcity of reliable data in Nigeria but please this topic is too serious to approach in the usual manner!

  13. Debby

    November 10, 2017 at 8:04 am

    LOL.
    Man I don’t even know what to say. For one, there is no explicit proof that everyone who is gay was born gay. There are people who have CHOSEN to be gay.

    Happened to my brother. Went to the US and decided to be have a full on relationship with a guy. In his case, he likes guys and girls but he told me he’d always dated guys from secondary school back in Nigeria.

    Didn’t have my first lesbian experience until I got to the US as well.

    • Californiabawlar

      November 10, 2017 at 9:12 am

      Sis!! Lemme follow you reason this gist… so your brother was smashing boys since sec school in Nigeria? Errrr… biko why is you still blaming Uncle Sam? The history is not even complicated at all ??‍♀️??‍♀️

      Oh before I forget… NEWSFLASH: you sef been done gay/bi since Naija ?

  14. THE MUMMY

    November 10, 2017 at 8:27 am

    @debby, who did your parents offend?

    • John

      November 10, 2017 at 2:33 pm

      lol… a gay son and lesbian daughter..that is the stuff of nightmares..maybe they offended a gay god in their previous lives..karma…Who knows

    • Just Negodu

      November 10, 2017 at 2:39 pm

      STFU. You piss me off you know. I hate very unintelligent people. So, your parents wasted money sending you to school. Is this how you pay them back? Dancing up and down on blogs unable to express a view of your own? Shioor. Write what you think lets debate your views.

    • Cali-B

      November 10, 2017 at 2:59 pm

      @John… if you don’t shut your woman-hating gayass up! ??? Everybody is talking you too are contributing… nightmare ko, fantasy ni. See him mouth…
      #trolololololololo ?

  15. larz

    November 10, 2017 at 9:59 am

    How to be gay:

    Drink water from developed countries for at least 365 consecutive days.

    That is how someone sent me a spam on whatsapp that if you drink fresh lemon water first thing every morning, it will prevent and cure cancer- all cancer oh from brain to cervical to b-cancer.

    Lets not get it twisted, all the developed country have done is to accept what is already there and let you live free. Which tbh, it is better in the long run. There was a time when closet homosexual (i guess it still does happen), marry and put their family through hell because of a) their frustration for being in the closet and b) not being able of love their spouse the way they should c) putting themselves in harms way by visiting underground homosexual prostitutes. No one needs that kind of hassle. every one please identify yourself so like will meet like.

  16. Just Negodu

    November 10, 2017 at 2:45 pm

    You are either gay or you are not. The western world only provides the enabling environment to be yourself. About time Nigerians let people be what they choose to be so long as they are adults and not hurting anyone. Too many hypocrites living frustrating lives just to please society. There is nothing in the water – do what makes you sleep well at night. If your child is gay. love and support them that is your job as a parent. Enough of sanctimonious attitudes. Do you.

  17. whocares

    November 10, 2017 at 3:16 pm

    I think i just lost a thousand brain cell reading this bs. what exactly was the point of this? Kilanfani? Firstly, there is a difference between sex, sexuality and gender- once more, pls google for more information as i don’t have the time or inclination to start schooling a person on bn; there is a difference between sex, sexuality and gender. its why a person can be tomboy, identify with their gender as female (regardless of what society deem their boyish tendencies) and still maintain heterosexual orientation and vice versa.. you see the difference? pls educate yourself further on this before you come on bn and start writing embarrassing stories.
    OK, lets move on- you have given examples of homosexualism and people prone to beastialty in the same article- what is wrong with you?
    and finally – lmaooooooooo sending children to school outside of Nigeria “exposes” them to homosexualism and so they come back gay; not that they identify with their sexuality? noooo the american authorities probably vaccinated them: its the new way they are trying to destroy nigeria and colonise us anew you see- turn everyone gay because being gay means they no longer have common sense, cannot function as proper adults in the society; noo all gay people want to do is gay sex and watch bestial porn! they are no longer humans with feelings too i bet! GTFO.
    LMAOOO

  18. Engoz

    November 10, 2017 at 3:53 pm

    Sorry o, your innocent kids were already gay in Nigeria. Stop blaming America.

  19. The real dee

    November 11, 2017 at 3:38 am

    Kiki, there’s nothing wrong with your article and it is neither dumb nor ignorant. Don’t let them bully you into accepting what is morally reprehensible. Even animals are not homosexuals, but human beings who have higher intellect can’t seem to do better than animals.

    If you want to be homosexual, by all means do. But please stop insulting straight people because we do not practice your lifestyle.

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