A happy Christmas season to you all, especially the men, who at this time are in panic mode thinking about all the expenses and devising means to avoid them.
No need. Peep the broadcast I received last week, we’re on to you.
However, shout out to our men that have been partnering with us over the years, and have been helping with holding things down. You are the real MVP and we really appreciate you. In light of this, I have decided to do a “genuine” Men Empowerment Series that will actually be of benefit to the men.
Do you often wonder why during Christmas the shopping bill quadruples, even though you’ll pretty much be eating the same things you’ve been eating all year?
There are two reasons.
- Food is expensive in December
- Brazilian hair will not buy itself
I will be giving you the ingredients to make Jollof Rice, Fried Chicken and Plantain. I won’t bother sharing the recipe to make this happen, we know most Nigerian Men are allergic to the kitchen. Rather, I’ll be sharing the current market value of the ingredients, so that you can accurately calculate how much is needed to feed your family.
We’ll base our calculations on feeding a family of 6.
|Rice 1 kg||400||1 kg of Rice will feed 6 non-glutton adults conveniently|
|Red Bell Pepper||100|
|Oil 500ml||500||The oil should be enough to make the Rice and fry the chicken. If it’s not, pretend you’re fitfam|
|Chicken (2kg)||2400||You’ll get 10 – 12 decent sized pieces. Save any left overs for the New year, that’ll bring the New year bill even lower|
|Onion & Tomato for Garnishing||100|
|Zobo Leaves||100||Bonus, you can even afford a drink! Just pour into a glass and pretend it’s red wine. Better still make it 3 days in advance and allow it to ferment!|
Don’t let her deceive you into extracting more money for Fried Rice. Tell her to convert the money for the Tomatoes and Pepper to buy Carrot and Green Beans. Use the money for the Tomato paste to buy local Corn; boil with sugar to get Sweet Corn. (I’ve never tried this, if you do please tell us in the comments if it worked).
On Christmas day, when you get a whiff of the delicious aroma coming from your neighbour’s house and wonder why it’s not the same as yours, it’s probably because he didn’t read this article. As succinctly put in the words of our elders:
“Soup wey sweet, na money kill am”
In other words, you get what you pay for.
Here’s wishing you a lovely Christmas and prosperous New year in advance.
Photo Credit: Monkey Business Images | Dreamstime