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BN Hot Topic: Is it or is it not Rape?

BellaNaija.com

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Peeshaun, one half of music group Skuki, shared a story on his Instagram of a man and his sexual encounter with a woman who is accusing him of rape.

They had met during their National Youth Service Corps year, and, according to the guy, everyone in his office had a crush on her.

He didn’t start hitting on her until after the end of the service year, he wrote, and although they had “lots of sexual talks,” she made it clear nothing was going to happen between them.

They decided to go on a date in January 27, and because he stays alone in Ajah, they visited the mall in Sangotedo.

They returned to his house after the date, after dark, and they proceeded to make out, then have sex.

After the girl reached orgasm she withdrew consent.

As soon as she finished coming she started hitting my chest that I should get off her. I told her to chill that I’m about to come too, she started hitting and saying no, she didn’t want anymore. It was as if she just realised we were actually having sex.

He didn’t get up. Instead, he held her hands down and continued until he too reached orgasm.

Peeshaun asked his followers if they thought it was rape or not, and the people are divided.

People saying it is rape say she withdrew consent and he went on, even held her down.

People saying it isn’t rape say she should never have consented in the first place. They made out, had oral sex, and still she did not withdraw consent. Why did she wait until after she had reached orgasm before she withdrew consent? She is selfish.

But isn’t such thought hinged on the belief that sex by definition must end only after the parties involved have reached orgasm? Because we know that is false – several times, a man rolls off after he is done, asks the woman, “Did you come?” Another thing: Are we saying consent can only be withdrawn before sex begins?

Also, what exactly is the definition of rape?

See the full story below, and let us know if you think it is rape or not.

87 Comments

  1. californiabawlar

    February 7, 2018 at 8:03 pm

    Hmmmn, Odiegwu. Water don pass garri. Let me loosen my belt and balance well for chair. This is going to be hella interesting.

    It’s like BN has banned zobo and popcorn hawking in the comment section, I need some refreshments,

    • A Real Nigerian

      February 7, 2018 at 9:37 pm

      You and all these your foolish comments ehn. Kai.

    • californiabawlar

      February 7, 2018 at 10:02 pm

      Awww! Welcome back from the yard. Today is truly my lucky day sha! I knew this post was going to bring the VIP crazies out of their holes.
      Now, chop chop… you may go forth into the comment section and provide some delicious hate-filled entertainment for me.
      **sips zobo**

    • Fleur

      February 8, 2018 at 1:10 am

      The guy slept with a mentally unstable person. Here are my questions for him. Is he a high value target for extortion? That is one thing to look into. Alternatively, the girl has serious mental instability, perhaps schizophrenia. Initially I was thinking that she objected to his release inside her. Perhaps she did want that to happen. I cannot tell if they were unprotected. But then, in reading the chat, it seems she is claiming insanity or mental age of a child and was supposed to be saved from herself from this guy. Guys, the world has changed. You may need to get a signed sheet from your girls now agreeing to have sex with you, especially if you are a potential valuable target for the female partner. Some of these people hear about metoo and other meaningful initiatives and totally take it to mean something different. She was not raped. There are two consenting adults here. He is only wrong because he insisted on reaching a point she did not want to reach. He should have let go. I think she would still accuse him of rape.

    • Engoz

      February 8, 2018 at 10:05 pm

      @Fleur
      Citing mental instability harms your position. Mentally unstable people can’t consent without a legal representative. If she’s mentally unstable, then the man in this scenario has taken advantage of protected class of people. You have only succeeded in adding more criminal charges to the accused. Lmao. But that is not the case in this scenario. She’s not unstable. You can call her selfish, wicked but it is still a basic human right to change one’s mind. And that I believe trumps all subjectivity to this case.

  2. randommer

    February 7, 2018 at 8:14 pm

    Man o man. It is rape sha. What I find most interesting is that the text messages tell a different story from what the guy was narrating. So before she went over, she said she didn’t want anything to happen, why did the guy now narrate that she was down?

    • Fizzy

      February 7, 2018 at 10:18 pm

      How is that rape Osanobua? She gave blow job. She gree am suck bobi and finger works and she even cum and then cry stop? How? She raped the poor boy and yep I am female. Cheap proud girl for nothing.

    • oluwaturnup

      February 7, 2018 at 10:29 pm

      for a girl that has practically had sex already willingly??!! The guy didnt force dick in her mouth, Lmaoooo she even came before she said STOP!!! Rape my ass!!!! Practical story of “i just use the guyy cum!!!”

    • Ottawa Queen

      February 8, 2018 at 1:25 am

      As I read through the story, on getting to the point where he refused and pinned her hands down! I just screamed rape!! Haha!. . .All he could have done at that point was to get up as she wished and find out why. She’s human afterall, not a sex doll, her moods could have switched, He should be caring and not selfish to continue enjoying the mood when the other is down! Besides must you ejaculate inside her? You’ve had your way all through already! You spoilt the friendship by just insisting your spermatozoa must be deposited into her system….Oga o! U no do well!

    • Emjay

      February 8, 2018 at 9:48 am

      For the fact that she said she didn’t want anything does not mean she didn’t really want it. that one na ladies talk of showing they are not loose. She won show selfish act be that now, She enjoyed her self and the guy too shud…..Morally; they are both at fault.

    • Abiola Makanjuola

      February 8, 2018 at 9:39 pm

      But she kissed, made out without objecting. How did he rape her when they both consented. Bruh! Let everyone take responsibility for the role they played in the act. Kappish

  3. Adanna

    February 7, 2018 at 8:20 pm

    It’s rape. For the simple fact that she said stop and he didn’t. Instead he proceeded to hold her down against her will. It doesn’t matter what stage, No means No. He should have asked her from the beginning if she was okay with this. I totally get what she means about pestering and the need to just give in even when you don’t want to do anything. I feel for her…….

    • anany

      February 7, 2018 at 8:45 pm

      stop this madness!!! did she carry her legs and go there and do all these things with her clear eye???!!! Rubbish!! common sense is no more common

    • Layo

      February 8, 2018 at 12:46 am

      I don’t get this women as helpless creatures that because you are being pestered, you gave in to sex that you didn’t want. Pls separate this “pestered” narrative from rape. Rape is a heinous crime and is forcefully having sex with someone without the person’s consent.
      You cannot consent to sex and then turn around and accuse the guy of rape because “he knew I wanted to keep my virginity and he didn’t help me keep it”.

    • Abiola Makanjuola

      February 8, 2018 at 9:43 pm

      Ehm he didnt force her though. They were having sexual conversations prior to hanging out,. If she knew she really didnt want to do anything, she shouldnt have gone to his house in the first place knowing the kind of conversations they were having and what was bound to happen. She needs to take responsibility. You dont want it, dont go near it, finish!

  4. Lol

    February 7, 2018 at 8:27 pm

    It’s rape. She told you to stop and you continued. Yeah she’s selfish and that’s a story for another day. But sir you raped her. End of story.

    • Wendy

      February 7, 2018 at 9:01 pm

      I mean, he didn’t even try to say that he was carried away! He KNEW what he was doing. You are not an animal with a one track mind. If, anything this email is complicit and very telling that men CAN control themselves, they just choose not to. He also didn’t deny holding her hands down. He definitely violated her so whatever he did is for sure on the rape spectrum.
      Lastly, one thing is sure, the girl is dealing with some type of trauma. She kept saying he was doing nonsense.
      I’ll keep saying this, men need to be careful when they meet up with women, you don’t know who’s unstable and dealing with stuff. Seek clear consent. To sum things up for now, dear men, if you get caught up in messy situations like this, IT IS YOUR FAULT. Yup, tables are turning, enjoy the bitter pills until we find a middle ground as a society.

    • miss_nk

      February 8, 2018 at 2:22 pm

      exactly, she was selfish and didn’t care for his pleasure but he still raped her

    • Abiola Makanjuola

      February 8, 2018 at 9:45 pm

      REALLY???? HE RAPED HER???? WOW! JUST WOW!

  5. A.D

    February 7, 2018 at 8:28 pm

    First of all I think we need to go back to what the definition of rape is. It seems to me everyone is twisting this to suit themselves. Let’s not take away the grieve from those who have genuinely been through sexual abuse. I was VIOLENTLY RAPED FOR SIX YEARS FROM THE AGE OF 6 UP UNTIL I WAS 12. I would let y’all picture the PAIN AND AGONY that comes with that experience. So I ask again is this RAPE???????

    P.S- I am not looking for sympathy, someone just needs to reiterate what this #metoo movement is all about and how do we curb this menace in our society and also lend an helping hand to the real victims here.

    • Abi

      February 7, 2018 at 8:38 pm

      A.D, I empathise with you and hope you find healing. But your own experience cannot invalidate someone else’s.

  6. Cocolette

    February 7, 2018 at 8:34 pm

    Not rape. The girl feels guilty and is trying to pass on the blame to make herself feel better.

  7. Ehn

    February 7, 2018 at 8:36 pm

    Hahahahaha….guys now u have to hurry ooh, b4 consent disappear. Guys jus need to find way assess a gal for mental illness b4 u get naked oh.

    U no satisfy her, dem go cuss u, u make her cum nko? U must stop. Ds sex thing na 2 way thing, he brings, she brings, collision happens.

    Abeg stop to be minimise d seriousness of rape!

  8. Enigma

    February 7, 2018 at 8:39 pm

    If you stay the night at a guy’s place intentionally or merely just visit, and something goes wrong, you can claim rape all you want and we will listen to you but you must also be ready to take responsibility for your own part of the story. How is this even rape? Pls I don’t understand. They were almost done with sex and she had ‘come’ and she realised at that point that she didn’t want it again just b4 the guy came too? If she had told him to stop b4 penetration, I will understand. Ladies please wise up and stop fooling around. Guys, Stay away from unstable people and those that send mixed signals to avoid this kind of story story. it’s either you want it or u don’t, u can’t sit on the fence in sexual issues(too sensitive). It’s either u bluntly refuse or u willingly submit.?? this story is messed up

  9. Nahum

    February 7, 2018 at 8:47 pm

    Dude this was rape. The minute she said “stop” no matter how far along they had gotten, he should have jumped off her like she was hot lava. But bros decided to hold her down and continue despite her protest. Don’t defend a rapist

  10. Cam

    February 7, 2018 at 8:49 pm

    This is RAPE. A person can withdraw their consent at any point of the sexual encounter. That she had an orgasm and “enjoyed” it does not diminish the fact that he “pinned her down” until he had an orgasm before he withdrew. Even though the sexual acts prior to that point was consent, his act of continuing the penetration after she had resisted is rape.

    • Fleur

      February 8, 2018 at 1:14 am

      We are taking this too far. Can a guy claim rape as well? is consent one sided? Can a guy decide midway that he was hoping the girl dissented so that his inner demons could be managed, and therefore completion = rape? People close ya legs rather than get into this useless situations. there is AIDS, herpes, Hepatitis, etc and rape is a life damaging condition especially in these days of social media.

  11. Ela

    February 7, 2018 at 8:50 pm

    Amazing! Not too long ago, everyone knew if you put yourself in the situation described above, you covered your face in shame!

    Now someone is talking about wilfully engaging in sexual activities with another until you’re satisfied. And then you’re done. If the unsatisfied party chooses to get satisfaction as you have, you COME OUT BOLDLY to call it rape?! You don’t know what rape is. Don’t insult true victims.

    Or…this your idea of #TimesUp?!

    • A.D

      February 7, 2018 at 9:06 pm

      Thank you Ela. She could probably claim assault but not rape. This was exactly what the Brooklyn photographer did to Aziz Ansari the comedian and everyone felt it was a date gone wrong. PLEASE DONT INSULT TRUE VICTIMS. @Abi I am sorry if I came off as invalidating her experience, that wasn’t the intention, it is just bothersome how everyone is throwing the word rape around. Why take him to her brothers (that’s a threat by the way) take him to court instead and hopefully you would be able to prove beyond reasonable doubt that he raped you.

    • Ela

      February 8, 2018 at 7:55 pm

      I hope she gets to be okay. There’s something really wrong with her unfortunately.

      But on the other hand…thinking of the man… We never should get to a point where we become animals and are unable to control ourselves. That’s a sickness. A healthy human being shouldn’t be that way.

      When you can’t stop yourself, and you have to forcefully – using an unwilling victim – find a way to sexually satisfy yourself, you’ve crossed a line. And at that moment, sorry to say guy, you’ve become just like a rapist. Even though it didn’t start out that way.

      I hope you guys would do all you can to keep your identities secret. While this has been educative to everyone, if your identities are revealed unfortunately, it will be what you’ll both be remembered for. Always.

  12. Smh

    February 7, 2018 at 8:55 pm

    This girl is not at all serious. So you kissed him, had your boobs s**ed, gave him a BJ, and now you are talking about being pressurised into doing what? Can people please apply common sense?!

  13. Akara Pancake

    February 7, 2018 at 8:57 pm

    Sorry it is rape. The “principle ” of rape is clear. There must be consent at “every stage” of the coitus. There must be “consensus ad idem” ( a meeting of the mind, body and soul) otherwise known as mutual consent. Even if she blew you from here to China, and rode you like a stallion, once she changes her mind, you have to disembark.

    Remember the rules you should follow if your clothes catch fire? It is the same rules you should follow if you body catches fire and is in the throes of desire: STOP, ROLL and DROP. STOP the act of intercourse immediately. ROLL over from on top of her. DROP transport money for her, so that she can leave (if that was the prior arrangement), or DROP her at home. Or call DROP (Taxify) for her.

    Fellas, granted there are girls you promise you a night of passion, but then start catching ” guilty feelings” once you start sexing, and accuse you of forcing yourself on them, as a kind of defense mechanism. You can protect yourself from those kinds of cases by doing the following:

    – Read the situation properly and dont be carried away by your lust. If the girl sounds like a tease who is more bark than bite (no pun intended), then stay the fuck away from her. She could be bad news. Abstinence has never killed anyone
    – Ask for consent before, during and even after the act of sexing. Do not assume anything
    – Set the right expectations with any chick before you smash. Do not make her feel that the sex would lead to a relationship if that is not your intentions. Let her understand the reality of the situation.
    – Even if you are just sexing for fun, don’t maltreat her afterwards. Treat her like a lady, and let her down gently

    By the way, the fella in the example above has just sewn himself into a web of trouble, by exchanging those texts with the girl, hence somewhat implicating himself. She now has enough material to “kobalize” him. The new sexual offences court in Lagos may have its first hearing.

    • Meee

      February 7, 2018 at 10:07 pm

      Best comment hère. You’re 3rd comment is especially important. Most ladies take sex seriously, there is an expectation that sex would lead to a relationship automatically. Guys need to set the record straight so there are no hurt feelings which could lead to this kind of accusations. I feel that was the same case with the Aziz Ansari case. But in the meantime no is no no matter the stage. Same goes for the women folk. Once a man says no it is no! ?

    • Fleur

      February 8, 2018 at 1:17 am

      So theblow job was sex with consent, her coming part was sex with consent, and the guy coming part was rape? How do you partition this in court? Do you sign consent forms indicating all manner of activities that would happen and also that consent cannot be withdrawn once the dotted line is signed?

    • Barrister

      February 8, 2018 at 1:23 pm

      According to the guy, they smooched and did other oral stuff but he was silent on when she withdraw her consent. Could it be that she had cum before penetration?! From their chat above, he felt he had satisfied her and he needed to be satisfied too. He decided to pin her down and forcefully penetrated (raped)her, because he needed to be satisfied too.
      Therefore, the question is, when was consent withdrawn? Was it before penetration or during the sexual intercourse?!

    • D.C

      February 8, 2018 at 4:33 pm

      You are now my favourite person, thank you for breaking this down like this, hopefully, people can now stop behaving like Lustful Baboons… God bless you.

  14. John Matilda

    February 7, 2018 at 9:03 pm

    The girl is an idiot sha, I’m just pissed off. John please come and do justice to this girl matter.

  15. St Cathy

    February 7, 2018 at 9:30 pm

    The CrIminal Code Act defines rape as ”unlawful carnal knowledge of a woman or girl, without her consent, or with her consent, if the consent is obtained by force or by means of false threats or intimidation of any kind, or by fear of harm, or by means of false or fraudulent representation as to the nature of the act, or in case of a married woman, by personating her husband.

    Same Act further defines unlawful carnal knowledge to be complete upon penetration. So, yes, only a woman or girl can be raped under the Nigerian law. But that is an aside.

    Since penetration is the key element here, and the girl gave consent to be penetrated, is it then possible for her to withdraw same consent after penetration had occurred and the act that is being regarded as rape is a continuous one that flows from the same one for which consent was given? As in, It wasn’t that he withdrew at a point and the girl said, no, you can no longer have access.

    Conversely, let’s say, for instance, I invite a guest to my house and we’re having a good time, suddenly, for good reason (like the guest becoming violent or unruly) or for no reason at all (like me just getting bored or needing some rest), I tell the guest to leave. Can the guest refuse to leave and insist that he/she has the right to stay because he/she was invited in the first place? wouldn’t the guest be accused or guilty of trespass if he/she continued to stay after being asked to leave?

    Although it may sound selfish or unreasonable that the girl withdrew her consent after reaching orgasm, I am of the opinion that the same principles apply here. and the girl ”might” be able to claim that she has been raped since she withdrew her consent and the man continued to forcefully have his way.

    On whether the man pestered her until she succumbed. I agree that incessant pestering is frustrating (from personal experience). However, the Criminal code Act is conclusive on what acts constitute unlawful carnal knowledge. Pestering was not considered. Or perhaps it was but did not make the final cut.

    • Engoz

      February 8, 2018 at 9:10 pm

      I like your viewpoint. Will the Nigerian law classify this as rape? That will be debatable and the defense and prosecution will need to provide convincing arguments to their side. The Nigerian law does not specify whether you can withdraw consent or if initial consent before sex means you can’t withdraw consent afterwards. So it’s open to whom can produce a convincing argument. Nevertheless, it should be everyone’s human right to withdraw consent during sex. In the UK and the US (except NC I believe), since consent was withdrawn and he still went ahead, he will be guilty of rape.

  16. rada

    February 7, 2018 at 9:30 pm

    I do not intend to offend victims of rape or belittle their experience with this post, and if any victims read this and are offended i am sorry! Everybody screaming rape are just saying this to be PC. I consider myself a “male feminist”, and i have been on the front line advocating for consensual sex and knowledge of sexual boundaries. I have marched, donated my money, my time, and my expertise towards this cause. People can change their mind during sex, and persistence will be considered rape. So i am not saying that because she came to your house and and gave you head, that was consent for sex , and it is possible to sexually assault a prostitute after a fee has been negotiated with the intent of a sexual activity and sex has been initiated.Also, there is also spousal rape. The fact that she reached her climax first and immediately after didn’t want to continue speaks volumes. My advice is that you shouldn’t have brought this to social media. Contact a lawyer (even charge and bail lawyer), just in case shit wants to go left. In my opinion this is just bad sex or miscommunication ( AZIZ ANSARI’s case). It is unfortunate that me too movement is allowing people make random and false accusations . this will inevitable hurt the cause in the long run. There are difference types of sexual assault and rape is a category. There is a difference between sexual harassment, misconduct and assault. Were both participants old enough to consent?
    Did both participants have the mental capacity to consent?
    Did both participants agree to take part? these are the three conditions necessary for a consideration of rape. Yes they are still gray areas, and yes consent is sometimes a gray area, but from my experience with trafficked women, prostitutes and women who have been raped, rape is strong word to throw around. Casually calling everything rape nowadays may have the unintended effect of normalizing rape. A case of sexual coercion? hmm mm maybe…..rape? NO!

  17. Doinz

    February 7, 2018 at 9:41 pm

    rape is when you FORCE someone to have sex against their will! I didn’t see anything forceful in the build up/foreplay! she let the yung man in she should let him finish as well. Though the guy get him fault sha he should have stopped when she said its ok but she cant jst give consent and withdraw it at anytime. Now she’s spoiling the guys rep!

  18. Jenna

    February 7, 2018 at 9:44 pm

    Regret is not rape. However the moment she stated stop in clear terms and he held her hands down and continued, it became rape. Everything else up until that moment whether pressured or not was not rape.

    • oluwaturnup

      February 8, 2018 at 10:34 pm

      LOL.. So the rape started after she had came ???

  19. Jummy

    February 7, 2018 at 9:44 pm

    Na wa oh.

    Staying celibate is now looking like the best option for everyone.

    Even better anyway, since everyone now treats sex like food.

  20. The Real Oma

    February 7, 2018 at 9:47 pm

    While the girl is either really daft or very unstable, this is rape, as proven by the statement “He didn’t get up. Instead, he held her hands down and continued until he too reached orgasm” which the guy didn’t deny.

  21. Anonymous

    February 7, 2018 at 10:09 pm

    Then, most men have been raped by women that kept on riding the horse after the man had said stop.

    • oluwaturnup

      February 7, 2018 at 10:56 pm

      Asinnnn!!! Or they will bring up the ideology of “Is he not a man” Hence, he cant complain!!! Bullsh*t!!!

  22. oluwaturnup

    February 7, 2018 at 10:49 pm

    I cant believe the level of ignorance most people here are on. Are you people okay??? How can you call this rape???? She clearly wanted the sex. What sex entails has fully occured before she apparently started yelling No..LOL. She just wanted to use the guy and cum abegg nothing more to it!!!!

    P.S feel free to come at me, but before you do make sure you have the definition of RAPE right!!!

    • mami

      February 8, 2018 at 9:02 am

      With the comments i see here, i feel so sorry for men now….lots of unstable women around, y’all have to be very careful who you decide to bed…

  23. Luchi

    February 8, 2018 at 12:10 am

    This guy is a fool for posting their chat. She can sue you and win thanks to your post.
    Yes, you raped her. She asked you to stop and you held her against her will to escape you and continued your act. A NO means NO regardless of when it came.

  24. Chi

    February 8, 2018 at 3:15 am

    As some of the some others have said, the fact that he ‘used force’ when she withdrew consent, he may have created a case for rape. In some countries there are laws that term this ‘rape’ even when they occur between married couples.

  25. enigma

    February 8, 2018 at 7:37 am

    Consent to sex but no consent to orgasm, bravo babe, na you try pass ahswear. “I go to the cinema, bought tickets for a movie, added popcorn & yoghurt, sat down and enjoyed the movie so much it made me cry, a couple of scenes to the end I was screaming that the movie be stopped because I already know how it will end or they refund me my money if not I would sue the cinema”. It baffles me how bang stupid and immature this generation is. You really don’t want to know what rape feels like, trust me.

    • Skree

      February 8, 2018 at 6:34 pm

      Actually your analogy would be more accurate if you had tried to leave the cinema and were stopped/prevented from leaving…wouldn’t you be offended and try to claim damages then?

  26. CrazyWorld

    February 8, 2018 at 7:56 am

    This is what happens when you give a girl too much attention and everyone is making her feel she is all that. Next time when you see this type of girl, offer her chewing gum to help her ‘bad breathe’ so that she will come down small from that her high horse.

    Everyone in the office is in awe of her, how won’t she do this? She wouldn’t want to risk you spilling and then making her look cheap. We know she is being manipulative but she has a case against you sha because you still forced her at some point. It is still rape no matter how nonsensical it sounds.

  27. CrazyWorld!

    February 8, 2018 at 7:57 am

    This is what happens when you give a girl too much attention and everyone is making her feel she is all that. Next time when you see this type of girl, offer her chewing gum to help her ‘bad breathe’ so that she will come down small from that her high horse.

    Everyone in the office is in awe of her, how won’t she do this? She wouldn’t want to risk you spilling and then making her look cheap. We know she is being manipulative but she has a case against you sha because you still forced her at some point. It is still rape no matter how nonsensical it sounds.

  28. Uberhaute_Looks

    February 8, 2018 at 8:06 am

    Sincere question; did she really reach orgasm?

  29. LemmeRant

    February 8, 2018 at 8:58 am

    I’ve said it here constantly. Listen to women at your own peril. They are very unstable creatures who never take responsibility for their actions.

    When they cheat, its their boyfriend/husband’s fault. When they bleach, its the guys fault. Now you carry your two legs waka enter house, f””k, give blowjob, scream “yes, yes, harder, harder” and now when you’ve cum, you scream rape.

    Its not your fault. Its the White men forming modern and civilised giving you attention that’s causing all this. They never jam, they thought they were doing good, meanwhile they’re digging their grave. It started with child support. The women milked it and made a mess of it. Now the men are slowly regretting it. Now this. Not like we didn’t see this coming.

    Anyways I trust my Naija brodas. Na social media e go end. Its the white men that make me laugh.

    Just waiting for the time this whole movement falls flat on its face. Then nobody will take y’all seriously anymore. When that time comes, you will not remember all this bullshit claims and wolf cries you’ve been making in the past. You’ll not remember articles like this. You will only claim men are this and that.

    When that time comes, I’ll just be quietly chilling.

    • John

      February 8, 2018 at 11:17 am

      I didn’t want to comment on this click -bait article until I saw your comment.
      Nowadays,every woman is shouting rape even fish brains from Nigerians are following the bandwagon. In their mind , they are sticking it to the men. The only people that will suffer are women who were truly raped and I mean” truly raped”. The type that will make you unconscious in the hospital for days..those type of women are the ones that will suffer bcos no one will believe them bcos of the trend set by all this nicompoops like the girl in the story and dorcas and the short – sighted fish brains supporting them. Someone above, mentioned her true experience bcos she truly know how helpless true rape victims are and it what entails and she was kinda slyly attacked by BN slayqueens aka online feminists, bcos it doesn’t fit their narratives of taking responsibility of your own action. And this are the women that will go around preaching equality to who cares but when it comes to action, they start forming helpless victim and heaping the blame on the man

      As u said , na for social media the thing dey end…Anyway , I am happy today. I read an article on LIB, about a woman in bayelsa that was sentenced to death for hanging for killing her husband( I know this blog wont post it, it doesn’t fit their narratives of men are scum articles). ANYWAY ,This woman was sentenced to death by hanging . The line the judge used gave me an orgasm. It goes like this ~ I hereby pronounce my sentence. My sentence upon you is that you shall hang on the neck until you die. May the Lord have mercy on your soul.”. I just hope the judge handling that handling sanda’s case is reading this. I dont want to hear any funny or derail stories like her family connection or that it is bcos of her pregnancy (which I know is from another man). .no stories abeg oo

    • John

      February 8, 2018 at 11:21 am

      “Death By hanging”

  30. Ephi

    February 8, 2018 at 9:29 am

    I hope they both got tested. Foolishness of the highest order. I can’t burn energy to start writing epistle this morning abeg.

  31. Fyfi Salty

    February 8, 2018 at 10:21 am

    This matter shouldn’t be on social media for Christ sake. Unfortunately, in a country like Nigeria, it’s hard to explain the meaning RAPE compare to countries where offence of rape is set out in the Sexual Offences Act 2003.

    Rape trials in England are rarely a question of ‘who dunnit?’. It is often the case that the man on trial – the defendant – and the woman complaining – the complainant – agree the act of sexual intercourse took place. The trial usually turns onto the question of consent. Did the woman consent to the sexual intercourse, which the defendant agrees took place?

    If you thought rape is only where a man uses violence against a woman to have sex you would be wrong – violence is not necessary. If you thought rape is where a man has sex with a woman without her consent – you would be right but consent is not black and white. A man could be guilty of rape if he ‘tricks’ a women into bed; if he agrees to use a condom but then removes it or damages it; or, if he agrees to withdraw from her but refuses to at the end.

    In 2009 in the case of one woman,where a man refused to withdraw from his partner, despite the clear understanding that she only consented to sexual intercourse on the grounds that he did not ejaculate inside her. The relationship was marked by violence, dominance, control and sexual humiliation. The High Court said that “there is evidence that he deliberately ignored the basis of her consent to penetration as a manifestation of his control over her”. So on the facts the offence of rape may have occurred and a prosecution could proceed.

    So if the above incident happened here, that man would end up in Jail.

    • whocares

      February 8, 2018 at 1:58 pm

      you know Julian Assange is actually wanted for rape is it in norway(?) or some European country for this very reason. sex was consensual on the basis that he use a condom. halfway through the act, he took it off. The supreme court ruled that from the moment he took off the condom., consent for sex was withdrawn (and rightly so) and so it became rape.
      I used a similar analogy with the electricity company when they tried to take off some money from my card, i said i only gave them consent to take x amount of money, and taking anymore from me without consent or permission is theft… look who is sitting pretty and isn’t paying any fine now? 😉 buttt, i digress.

    • Fyfi Salty

      February 8, 2018 at 6:23 pm

      @ Whocares:- I thought the sexual assault case relates to his visit to Stockholm? The case was dropped last year May(Can you imagine – from 2010 to 2017?)…. Its been extremely hard to even serve that man with any notice(s).

    • whocares

      February 8, 2018 at 9:26 pm

      lmaooo. it finally got dropped? That man has some kain luck sha- if they had managed to make it stick he would have gotten extradited to stockholm and those ones would have just handed him to the U.S Authority… i’m going to try to find the decision if there is any legal reason for dropping the case as opposed to administrative, unless it was decided solely on the facts and the legal reasons still remain solid. thanks for this bit of info.

  32. Rida

    February 8, 2018 at 10:24 am

    The basic elements of rape are:
    1. Sexual Activity/Intercourse
    2. Lack of Consent
    3. Proof of intention to perform the said sexual activity (i.e. the mental element)
    It is rape when consent is not given during sexual activity and all the other elements are present,

    When consent is given initially but subsequently withdrawn (even right in the middle of sexual intercourse), any sexual activity after consent is withdrawn (with all other element present) is deemed as rape. You are mandated to stop any sexual act, immediately consent is withdrawn., despite the displeasure it may cause you.

    Dear young man you raped that lady indeed .

    We need to educate our men on this. Alot of men who are ignorant of this fact, have gone to jail especially in the Western World . Please men discipline yourselves (aka hold body) and save yourself from wahala.

  33. FinchleysFinest

    February 8, 2018 at 11:00 am

    This issue is twisted…and confusing..

    I can see so many of saying. this is rape… based on all your definitions.. Following the guys story.. the lady came … and wanted to stop everything altogether (selfish mofo) . This same thing works for guys… you cum and end sex like the girl shouldn’t have her own share of the enjoyment.. Let this stop in 2018….

    I think for cases like this…guys should have a letter that every party must sign before sex…since this consent thing is going out of hand…. Lets put a timing to it …lets have sed for 30 mins..( if we don’t cum..lets end it…)if I cum first and we have 10 mins left..then I have to finish of anyways… Sign and start this sex….

    Silly and annoying stories like this makes real rape hard to judge….

    But since consent is still this annoying …sadly..I’ll say its rape..

    Lets start signing documents before sex ( putting in some sort of timing to it )

    One another note: why did you visit a guy…and why did you sleep over ( GIRLS.. don’t sleep over if you are not dating… its simple.. he’s not your blood brother …)

  34. kristin

    February 8, 2018 at 12:22 pm

    I understand the concept of consent at every stage. Are men also supposed to seek and obtain consent for every thrust…. I am just asking for a friend o. Now to the matter, I think holding her down was taking it a step too far. That orgasm you got isn’t worth a rape conviction. The babe is clearly unstable.

    • whocares

      February 8, 2018 at 1:31 pm

      dont be too simplistic now.. but if someone is beating on your chest, clearly telling you no and telling you to get off her,.. what do you think that means?

  35. Anonymous

    February 8, 2018 at 1:06 pm

    Offer to take her shopping, she would be back in your bed again despite the rape allegation. From now on, a man must apply for permission to “cum” during intercourse.

    • Engoz

      February 8, 2018 at 9:45 pm

      “Offer to take her shopping, she would be back in your bed again despite the rape allegation.”

      You had better never leave Nigeria, because it’s your type that ends up in prison in the West.

    • Anonymous

      February 8, 2018 at 10:45 pm

      @ Engoz. I don’t even live in Nigeria. Rape cases are real however this is simply a case of regret after the chemical charge in the girl’s body has calmed down. All she wants is to feel more than a piece of one night meat.

  36. whocares

    February 8, 2018 at 1:30 pm

    lmaooooooooooo. oh man.. even the text messages. lmaoooooo im struggling so hard not to laugh out loud at work. lmaooooooooo. . ok on the one hand, no means no- this has been taken to mean that if a person gave you initial consent, they can actually withdraw that consent in the middle of the thing. it’s a nuisance, it is unfair, they are probably unstable… whatever. but soon as they tell you no, if you are mid stroke, you might want to finish that stroke, but after stop. no matter how much it will pain you. when she started hitting on him, telling him to stop etc, that was where her consent got withdrawn and yes she can feel justified to cry rape.
    now, as for the girl- does she have problems? absolutely when its not as if he hit her with “kumo” or put powder on his mouth to make her do all of that.. does she have a problem accepting responsibility for her own actions? HELLS YES.. is she ridiculous? absofuckinglutely yes.. however, none of this negates the fact that she can be justified to say he raped her.. from that point she said no, gave physical and verbal cues of withdrawing her consent. it stopped being a mutually enjoyable act..

    • Engoz

      February 8, 2018 at 9:48 pm

      Also it is a human right to change your mind.

  37. test

    February 8, 2018 at 4:29 pm

    AS long as she said NO…..and he continued without her consent, then at that point it becomes rape. whatever happened before that does not matter. NO MEANS NO

    If you cannot understand that simple concept of give excuses for reasons not too, then YOU ARE part of the problem.

    NO MEANS NO

    • test

      February 8, 2018 at 4:30 pm

      or*

  38. Engoz

    February 8, 2018 at 6:34 pm

    From his statements, there was actually no verbal consent to have sex. We cannot use non-verbal cues as consent. Kissing, touching dick, Silence is not consent, non verbal cues are not affirmative consent. Using non verbal cues blur the lines of consent. Assuming that someone wants sex does not count as getting their consent. He fingered without verbal consent. and he admits it. That itself is rape. Sorry. Unless there is a Nigerian law that says you cannot withdraw consent during sex, the man will be guilty of rape.

    • whocares

      February 9, 2018 at 3:01 pm

      I think you are simplifying this toooo much and not taking the context into account. Please, how many times have people actually said “do you want to have sex”, and then you reply “yes lets have sex”? that’s silly.. as mature adults who know what we want, we can also give non verbal consent for actions. The lack of a verbal consent for sex doesn’t negate the non verbal consent.. i am worried a lot of people here who are trying to support the woman are erasing her AGENCY! She is responsible for her actions.. as is the man. She said no and was pretty vocal both in words and deeds when she didn’t want it anymore and at that point, consent ended.. we are not disputing that, but to then impute that the whole action preceding the withdrawal of consent is rape is just faulty reasoning! I don’t believe one can reach that conclusion logically.
      And this is why i have a problem with this particular lady. she isn’t accepting her own responsibility.. the man detailed her actions to her, and she even seemed ashamed of it because she responded with “i know what i did”.. now if he pressurized her constantly through all this, it is a different issue, but once more, she is her own person. she could have left, she could have refused.. she need not have gone along with it. an important aspect of rape is consent and whilst that can be gotten through crooked means, we need to be careful about slamming that on situations that do not entirely fit the bill.

    • Engoz

      February 11, 2018 at 8:38 pm

      I understand your point. I understand the lack of female agency. However ‘being adults and nonverbal cues not negating sex’ can only fly in defined relationships. In Azid Ansari’s case, the lady cited that Azid refused to listen to her non verbal cues. And I found it stupid on her part. This is why I sincerely believe there must be a definite yes or no to sex. Non verbal cues will be misread and we will continue to have these arguments. Also it is better to confirm sex than leaving room to be called a rapist afterwards.

  39. tunmi

    February 8, 2018 at 8:57 pm

    Why does the girl have to be unstable to want to stop after she got hers?

    She’s selfish. She put herself first. She didn’t consider her partner. All true.

    But unstable? That’s a reach. When men do it…no one calls them unstable. Women just use their hands, toys or imagination to get to where they need to go.

    But a woman does it, and she’s unstable.

    To the feminists, male feminists, “real” victims, and the waiters waiting for the movement to fall on its face…this is rape. Consent is ongoing. Someone can agree to oral and not to other types of sex. Someone can start and want to be done and leave. It is annoying. So you don’t call them for a repeat. But you don’t keep going.

    And please stop waiting for the victim to be a woman before you speak out about when the victim is a man. Seriously, the floor is yours. Speak out for your fellow men.

    • whocares

      February 8, 2018 at 9:22 pm

      if this comment was in response to mine as i said she might be unstable.. yes because selfishness is the norm in sexual relationships, and most normal people soon as they get theirs push their partners off and start to cry etc (this is sarcasm btw)… it might be that we inhabit different cycles and what is the norm for me is not the norm for you then?because from where i come from and where i stand, it is pretty unstable behaviour!!! and when men do it, when they get sexual satisfaction first before the woman, i don’t believe they start to hit their partners, telling them to get off them, cry etc? Someone ending a sexual encounter because they came and solely for that reason, is different from someone withdrawing consent on the basis of rape. Please don’t make the mistake of lumping them together as it is very easy to do, they are connected issues afterall.

      Anyone can withdraw their consent whenever they feel like true and in regards to that, i stand by my no means no statement… in regards to her finishing first, withdrawing sexual consent immediately in the situation outined above? just on the face of it? That is NOT normal behaviour. (not because she withdrew consent, but in the crying, the pushing, the carrying on… you have to admit there is more to it than meets the eye) now this is the part we ask questions if we wanted to analyse it properly and delve into the circumstances surrounding the sexual encounter as a whole,.. beht this is BN, its a single post and I honestly don’t have the time or energy to be drinking paracetamol for someone else’s headache.. so my statement was entirely limited to the narrative above.. .your response relates more to general issues that could go beyond consent and rape and simply address sexual habits between male and female and in that instance also there is nothing wrong with a woman finishing first and saying negodu.. lots of women do it and no i wont say they are unstable. I have heard stories from my female friends and in those instances they are usually able to communicate their desire without resorting to tears, or villifying the whole sexual encounter as a whole! “she was saying oh god what is all this nonsense” after she came??!!! wtf? lmaoooo.

  40. Engoz

    February 8, 2018 at 9:11 pm

    From his statements, there was actually no verbal consent to have sex. We cannot use non-verbal cues as consent. Kissing, touching dick, Silence is not consent, non verbal cues are not affirmative consent. Using non verbal cues blur the lines of consent. Assuming that someone wants sex does not count as getting their consent. He fingered without verbal consent. and he admits it. That itself is rape. Sorry. Unless there is a Nigerian law that says you cannot withdraw consent during sex, the man will be guilty of rape.

  41. Abiola Makanjuola

    February 8, 2018 at 9:50 pm

    For the sake of people who have actually being raped and didn’t have the option to stay away from their rapists, can we understand the word, its meaning and be intentional with it’s use. This is not a case of rape. It is a case of a woman who clearly knew what she wanted. and got what she wanted.

    Not saying Peeshaun is right for continuing when she said stop however there were things that had happened prior to the both of them actually having sex. If she really knew she didn’t want anything from him, she would have said no to kissing, touching, smooching, breast sucking or blow job! She won’t have even gone to the house in the first place knowing their history and the conversations they had.

    Please learn to take responsibility for the things you do. Don’t come on here talking about you were forced. No one can force you to do what you don’t want except you have an ulterior motive. You want something hence you give in and then when you don’t get it you cry and talk about I was forced to do it. Bruh this is not a case of rape.

  42. Spoken Words

    February 8, 2018 at 10:59 pm

    This is the result of a messed up society where women are raised to shy away from sex and men are raised to embrace and enjoy sex. While this is a one sided claim, It’s pretty clear what happened. The guy didn’t intend to Rape her, but technically he did since she withdrew her consent. I really wish people will stop saying she kissed him, did this and that and is now claiming rape. It’s her right, if the guy doesn’t like it, he can kick her out of his house. She obviously enjoyed having sex with him but for whatever reason wish she didn’t and that unfortunately is an issue she needs to deal with on her own.
    Let’s look at this on the flip side, if the guy for some reason lost interest during sex, he’ll probably get soft and that will be the end of that, worst case the girl will feel bad that he wasn’t turned on by her. Now, for a girl, when she’s no longer interested, her vagina can’t just lock up (would be nice though), the only thing she can do is say no… and that’s when men need to respect that no matter how difficult it may be, its traumatizing for any woman to have to push a man off of her at any point during sex. I know many people will call BS in this case because she supposedly came before saying no, which I can see the point, but that is why I mentioned earlier that we have society to blame for the way most women view sex. This girl clearly enjoyed it, and rather than just accept that she did and move on, she can’t even stand the guy narrating what went down, she kept calling it nonsense etc.
    Lesson learned: Gentlemen no means no, literally and technically. And ladies, pls be clear about what you want, deal with your psychological issues. A lot of women have some deeply rooted issues when it comes to sex and there’s no shame in admitting it. Get some help (therapy, counseling..etc), take care of you because no one else will, instead they’ll call you crazy.

    • Engoz

      February 9, 2018 at 2:30 pm

      Also when a man reaches orgasm before the woman, women don’t pin the man down in an attempt to reach orgasm by force. We let it go. Also the vagina can dry up at any time and sex becomes bruising and painful. People should be able to withdraw consent at any time.

  43. Yellow sun

    February 9, 2018 at 8:36 am

    I am so angry i have to agree.
    He should really have stopped and kicked her out when she said stop..he really should have!
    Guys biko get consent forms henceforth, let them sign ,there are too many unstable women out there..thats the only way to get out of this craze.
    I have told my brothers..get consent forms..let them sign…not verbal consent that can change to he said she said oh…paper and ink
    Mscheeew

  44. Sisi

    February 9, 2018 at 2:53 pm

    Ladies and gents – we are playing with fire and thinking it won’t consume you if you’re not careful. Rape doesn’t need all this legalistic essay and explanation – when you’ve raped someone you know, when you’ve been raped you know. There is no doubt. Unless we are dealing with minors, those not in their right frame of mind, not able bodied – people shop stop all this. The distinction between sexual assault, sexual abuse, regret, guilt, thinking about what others will say, exploring sexual boundaries, revenge etc should be made. It’s a shame that rape seems to have become this trivial thing in pop culture turning the experiences of those who have been in violated in the most horrendous of ways into debate and jest.

    Lastly reporting/exposing rape shouldn’t be about garnering attention.

  45. Rebel Active

    February 10, 2018 at 12:44 pm

    This is what you get when values & virtues have been completely lost to how well I can justify my feelings & what I want over humanity. Sex has its place in marriage and actions in marriage ought to be guided by genuine love, concern & kind consideration. If the purpose of a things is not known however, abuse is inevitable. It is at the point we start telling ourselves the bitter truth and embracing life as intended based on true love rather than what love is potrayed to be that stories like these will be a thing of the past. This sucks on every level for both male & female parties and there is not taking sides here. No justification whatsoever. #stinks

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