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BN Confessions: Our Miracle Baby is Another Man’s Baby

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Hi guys, BN Confession Box is a feature on BellaNaija – curated by Nkem Ndem.

The Confession Box is our virtual confessor’s box where BellaNaijarians can let loose and say their deepest and rawest fears.
These letters are from you, and we’ll ensure that your identity is protected. Everybody needs some form of outlet or the other.

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Maybe there is nothing big about my confession, women get pregnant for other men and have children for other men that are not their husbands all the time, but this is eating me up inside. I think it is really bad because I have involved the name of God in it all.

I will start from the beginning.

When my husband and I first got married, we had issues having children. At first, I thought it was from me due to several abortions I had in the past, but after several tests, we found out abroad that the problem was from him. He has something they referred to as klinefelter’s syndrome. He can have a normal sex life but can only make little or no sperm.

When we got the information, he begged me not to leave him and I told him I will not. He is very caring. He brought my family out of poverty. He gives me everything I open my mouth and ask, and my life is secure with him. I insisted that I am okay with him and I love him like that, even without children. So as Christians we refused to adopt, we decided to have faith that God will intervene.

I was having faith for real until late last year when I started to bond with a guy in our prayer unit in church. We started as prayer partners and from there we became emotional and intimacy followed. He is married, I am married and we both cannot leave our partners, so we decided to keep it on the low. As God will have it, I found out just a few months after we began being intimate that I was pregnant. It is a miracle, but I am also scared. My mind tells me that the baby belongs to my lover… but what if God had done a miracle and the baby is really for my husband instead?

I broke the news to my husband last night and he cried all through the night like a baby. He made some vows to God in gratitude. He trusts me and does not suspect anything. We agreed that the Lord has blessed us, but my fear now is that this baby will come out looking very different. My husband is dark, my lover is fair. And my husband knows this my lover and my church bestie. What if he sees resemblance? I don’t even know what to think. Should I be afraid that I may be lying against the Lord, or that the baby is not my husband’s baby and he will one day find out…or should I just seal my lips and rejoice over the bundle of joy that God is about to bring into the life of my husband and I after 6 years?

Photo Credit: Denisismagilov | Dreamstime.com

21 Comments

  1. Ini

    June 11, 2018 at 5:31 am

    I got lost when
    She said “as Christians we refuse to adopt “

    • anonymous

      July 11, 2018 at 1:33 am

      Lol me too. I am like ermmm… did God tell you specifically not to adopt? because adoption is not a sin!!!

    • AGHLIBELISM

      November 7, 2018 at 11:46 pm

      Lefuse to adopt buh didn’t lefuse to kwa iko I have sex unprotected.Lemme mind my groundnut am blowing biko

  2. Lol

    June 11, 2018 at 5:52 am

    Kleinfelter’s XXY is a genetic disorder associated with infertility. They produce no sperm, very tall with gynaecomastia (breasts in men). I think having faith also gives us wisdom to enlighten us in what to do. Adoption is such a beautiful blessing. However such a stigma around it in our culture that makes people vulnerable to exploitation and bigger quandries. I wish you guys had been honest because if your husband accepted his infertility and if the church supported you correctly through this then you could have made informed decision. If indeed he had low sperm, though most have no sperm, you could have had the sperm artificially inseminated to increase the likelihood of conception.
    Or he could have asked for sperm from someone without resorting to infidelity if you were keen on pregnancy.
    However lack of acceptance of the diagnosis and dishonesty to oneself and each other has ended up doing more damage.
    The baby is not his….if it were you would have been pregnant a long time ago in 6 years without a third party.
    Don’t be surprised he doesn’t know of your affair and isn’t aware of the pregnancy not being his. He may be relieved you had the audacity to do the needful to save him the shame of masculinity as considered by our society.
    It’s a horrible situation to be in. First thing is to seek forgiveness from God. When you are at peace with that, you will have the fortitude to make the right decisions.

    • MIA

      June 11, 2018 at 9:05 am

      I agree 100%

  3. Ogo

    June 11, 2018 at 8:22 am

    I’m just confused by the “as Christians we refused to adopt”. I don’t get the correlation

    • Jenny B

      June 11, 2018 at 1:27 pm

      My dear I don’t even understand that part like adopting is a sin or was it written in the bible that it is an abomination.

  4. Ada

    June 11, 2018 at 8:36 am

    Please educate on where the bible forbids adoption,when you say ‘as Christians’. We choose not to adopt. If you had adopted a child, the likelihood of your infidelity would have been almost zero. A lot of people who have adopted even end up having their own biological children. The refusal to adopt kids in our society is an African mentality thing. The bible did not tell us that adopting a child means not having faith in God.for biological children.

  5. MIA

    June 11, 2018 at 9:04 am

    I stopped at “As Christians we refused to adopt” that’s the most unChristlike thing to say. We are all adopted sons and daughters of God. So please explain. You were committing adultery but can’t adopt. Also there is no as God will have it getting pregnant for your married lover. Confess to your hubby and let him decide.

  6. olly

    June 11, 2018 at 9:39 am

    ‘so as christians, we refused to adopt’ what does this even mean? Who told you christians can not adopt a child? SMH

  7. olly

    June 11, 2018 at 9:41 am

    And no that child is not a miracle. You committed adultery and God is not about that life

  8. mama zee

    June 11, 2018 at 11:18 am

    i really don’t know why women resolve to adultery to solve a situation that they did not bring upon themselves. in a case like yours, lol said it all. your conscience knows the truth and that will forever hunt you. always live in sincerity!

    • slice

      June 11, 2018 at 11:46 am

      Resolve* resort

  9. OJ

    June 11, 2018 at 11:23 am

    Done several abortions in the past
    ……huuummm, once a ho always a ho. @Lol be fooling yourself in your mind you think you’ve made sense. I’m sure that woman has slept with the church guy more than once and she still had the audacity to be praying to God while knocking Bro at the same time…..this is why Dna testing should be made compulsory. It will shock you how many men are raising the children of other men believing it’s his own blood not knowing that madam has been playing away league

    • @OJ

      June 12, 2018 at 2:31 pm

      my dear, let’s try not to be so judgemental. All you could pick from the whole story was ‘the several abortion thing’ . Are you aware that your words can push people to depression. She shared the story cos her conscience wouldn’t let her be, advise or simply Waka pass

  10. Jummy

    June 11, 2018 at 11:40 am

    Wow.
    This has to be made up.

    From the “as God would have it” to “God has done a miracle”

    This can’t be real.

  11. Dr.N

    June 11, 2018 at 12:36 pm

    End your relationship with Church bro. Eventually you will need to come clean.
    Find out whose baby it is before he is born. Go and do prenatal DNA testing. The shock of having a baby identical to Church bro could kill your husband. Don’t wait.
    If it is his, confess to your husband. Since he knows he is infertile there is a chance he will forgive you and you both can raise the baby as yours.
    That will also be a good time to change churches and lay low for a while.
    It is not advisable to have prayer partners of the opposite sex, not when you are vulnerable and needy. And such prayers should be as part of a large group not isolated. The body does not get born again. It is the spirit in you that controls it.
    Get a grip so guilt does not eat you alive. Jesus did not die to condemn you but to save you. He loves you and He wants to show you how to live for Him in true sincerity.

  12. Babym

    June 11, 2018 at 12:49 pm

    What I don’t get is why you seem so unremorseful……and then having the nerve to say God has done a miracle…My dear God cannot be mocked! what you have done is borderline wickedness now, did u spare a thought for the man’s wife??? I’m just amazed with the way you have sha used God to cover your tracks like all you did is no biggy. God is merciful sha…

  13. hmm

    June 11, 2018 at 2:49 pm

    Time will tell of the baby’s paternity, DNA will resolve that – For now enjoy your pregnancy – You can’t hide things like this. NEVER!

  14. Nky

    June 11, 2018 at 3:24 pm

    Why do we like to hide behind the “santity” of religion and the blame society and everyone else for our mistakes?
    Your husband is impotent yet you both decided to see adoption in such a bad light while sleeping with someones husband who you met at prayer meeting and hoping that God will intervene…. Your god has answered your prayers.

    If you find yourself in a similar situation, please read about several available options including adoption.

  15. Ope

    June 17, 2018 at 1:21 pm

    Never! That Durex report might be correct though. DNA lo sure ju

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