Connect with us


BN Confession Box: I’ve Met the Love of My Life & It’s Time To Leave My Sugar Mummy



BN Confession Box is a feature on BellaNaija – curated by Nkem Ndem.

The Confession Box is our virtual confessor’s box where BellaNaijarians can let loose and say their deepest and rawest fears.
These letters are from you, and we’ll ensure that your identity is protected. Everybody needs some form of outlet or the other.

This is a painful story for me to tell. I just left the shore of Naija eight months ago, but I think my heart is in Naija now . Two years ago, I met a white lady who was lonely and I gave her some sweet raps that made her fall in love with me. I did not mind the 12 years gap between us because my experience with Nigerian girls, including sugar mummies has been terrible. This lady is generous and very caring, so I believed life with her was for the best. What am I doing here in Nigeria? She helped me process my visa and I moved to meet her.

When I arrived Poland and settled in with her, I liked it. Life was simple. The woman works a lot and since my papers were not ready, I will stay at home and be the house wife till she came back from work. During one of the days I was at home because of cold weather, I decided to go on Facebook and check out my people in Nigeria. Somehow, from browsing, I met this very lovely girl. Very sweet girl. I told her I was in Poland and we are now in love.

I cannot survive a day without talking to this girl I swear. I have been afraid that my white mama will find out and get vexed with me, because I need her support here, but at the rate it is doing me, I don’t think I want to stay with her forever again. I want to go just get my papers and process visa for the girl of my dreams now. Why did I have to leave Nigeria before meeting this girl? If I met her before, I never would have left Naija. Never! This is very painful because I don’t want to hurt mama, she has been very nice to me. What do I do?

Photo Credit: Dreamstime


  1. Fizzy

    July 17, 2018 at 12:57 am

    Be grateful!

    • Love

      July 17, 2018 at 1:13 am

      Accept jesus christ or your life before you will spiral down because you are in deep deep mess. Dont become a changed person because of a woman, you might also get disappointed but change totally because your life can end anytime and you will face God. More importantly Jesus loves you and will give you wisdom to come out of this situatoon.

  2. dora

    July 17, 2018 at 1:38 am

    Are you really sure that you are not toiling with your emotions, are you telling your self the bitter truth that you have madly and genuinely fallen in lovr with the girl you met on face book, you are sincere to your conscience that you are not comparing the girl and the woman in terms of age? You said the age gap between you and the woman 12years yet you followed her to Poland and after she has helped you , you started falling in love with another girl that is younger. I think you are deceiving your self, you want to break the heart of a woman who showed you love but remember the law of Karma, you may go free or may not go free. Think twice.

  3. Golddigger

    July 17, 2018 at 4:45 am

    It’s not new..U wanted papers all along and that’s why u left with white lady in the first place.Why can’t u move to naija and leave ur papers now that u are in love..yimu*.

    • Shasha

      July 17, 2018 at 2:14 pm

      Exactly!!!! Leave the papers and go back to Naija,. Rubbish

  4. Yori

    July 17, 2018 at 5:47 am

    Be contented

  5. Ada

    July 17, 2018 at 6:24 am

    Get ready for deportation as you cannot eat your cake and have it!

  6. Collins oji

    July 17, 2018 at 7:12 am

    Jus b with d white lady.. u’ve made ur bed…

  7. sandie

    July 17, 2018 at 7:36 am

    the heart knows what it wants. Five up in the papers. pack your bags and go back to naija if you truly love and trust the naija babe. The white lady won’t feel bad if you forfeit the papers. Don’t forget to leave her a note explaining your actions and apologize too. Good luck

  8. Cocoa

    July 17, 2018 at 7:57 am

    You are infatuated … do not have the ability to love right now. You have NO CLUE what love is. You dont know your God and you certainly do not know yourself.

    You are not married to the white lady ….you are just living in sin. Go back home and find something to do with your hands. If you have to go hungry on some days ..go hungry. You havent learnt to stand on your own and be a man but you want to attach to another human being.

    The devil is playing you like footbal and using your own life as the football pitch. You better run to GOD.

  9. Kenny

    July 17, 2018 at 9:08 am

    All that glitters is not gold. Move abroad for ‘greener’ pasture and then reality set it. Bro you made your bed better lie down well well.

  10. Adeleke

    July 17, 2018 at 9:10 am

    God will help you

  11. B

    July 17, 2018 at 9:38 am

    May she’s also giving you some sweet raps.

  12. Baymax

    July 17, 2018 at 10:57 am

    How are you sure the lovely girl in Nigeria isn’t using you too?

  13. Iyke

    July 17, 2018 at 11:52 am

    A man got to do what he got to do right?
    Thanks for being honest about your situation.I believe that when love doesn’t live in your heart anymore for any wo/man, no sentiments, amicably break up and move on. It doesn’t matter what s/he had done for you in the past.
    But before you move on with this other girl,make sure you are HONEST about your whole life…Tell her everything about this white lady.If she doesn’t see anything wrong in your leaving the white lady for her, then I MUST say,’Be very careful’…because you are about to do yourself.
    A lot of black/white relationships are contracted like this in europe. Black visaless guy lies to a white lady about love, marries her and make babies with her. Then visa comes/passport comes out, brother realizes that white lady is ugly/fat et al,dumps her and the kids and voom goes to naija to marry ifeoma or a younger university girl with the expectation that this naija lady is a mumu that will be his slave.
    And you know what, he never for once told Ifeoma the true story of his life abroad…he paints the picture of an amazing life, setting up expectations for her. And she comes, starts work after settling down especially for the ones in America, and you want her to be your cash cow.While you are busy hustling for your immediate and extended family, she too is also doing same with her new found power. Resentment sets in and boom, domestic violence ensues, abd marriage breaks.It becomes a vicious cycle.
    So brother, as you are at the initial phase of the ‘catching feelings’ for the naija girl, be aware that HONESTY should be your key.If you no longer love the white lady,please explain yourself and break up with her amicably… trust me, she would do the same if she no longer loves you..white ladies don’t waste time on that…once her love for you is dead, she tells you straight up and kicks you out of her house.
    And STOP calling her ‘mama’! 12 yrs your senior is no big deal.You live in an advanced society and should be thinking/behaving like one who lives there.

    • Beauty

      July 24, 2018 at 4:32 pm

      Very well said Iyke!! Seriously, was getting so irritated with the “mama” stuff. Some naija guys really need to grow up!

  14. Ethio

    July 17, 2018 at 12:02 pm

    “I’m so in love woth a girl i met on facebook i want to leave my residence permit to come be with her plor plor plor plor” This tale looks like a boy’s dilema, come back here and be with her nah

  15. Californiabawlar

    July 17, 2018 at 2:51 pm

    Only 12 years difference and you’re calling her mama? ??‍♀️?? You’re an ode.

  16. See

    July 17, 2018 at 8:57 pm

    Dude, I like that you’ve been honest but you answered your question even before you asked it.
    1. You will get your papers, then you will leave the nice gullible white lady you referred to as ‘mama’. Truth be told, it was always your intention to use her. You will leave your Polish mama, with or without your Naija love as soon as you no longer need her roof and purse.
    2. You will not leave Poland
    3. You will try to work out things with your Facebook love and hope that things turn out well.

    Since we have established what you have said you will do, I guess this is really just a rant. No dilemma here.

    You didn’t tell us whether your Facebook love knows the real situation and still wants to be with you or is perhaps just in love with an idea that she has of you. If she doesn’t know the complete picture, forget it. The ‘love’ is a fantasy, it won’t end well. And if she does know and encourages you to go ahead with the plan above, well … time will tell.

    Q: If you didn’t leave Nigeria and you met this exact girl of your dreams, would she have had your time? Looked your way? Would she still love you? 21 questions … 50 cent style.

  17. optimusprime

    July 21, 2018 at 3:05 am

    Selfishness and greed will not kill you..ur polish mama will kill you,,a woman who singlehandedly brought u out of poverty, ,u r a wickedman ..

  18. Beauty

    July 24, 2018 at 4:39 pm

    Dude!! You really need to watch it because, what ever we do either good or bad, we would have to face the consequence. Funny, how you call her mama, for crying out loud she is just 12 years older than you, am not surprise, you are acting your age boy! Grow up!
    If you are going to live the known for the unknown, make sure you do it with a sincere heart, otherwise, you will be shooting yourself on the foot.

  19. Ade

    July 24, 2018 at 8:08 pm

    This is what you get when you cannot hold still. The Bible is complete and was written for us… How are you so sure that the Naija girl doesn’t love you because you’re in ‘the abroad’? Break up with the mama amicably and humbly return to your father/motherland. It’s not to late to live a decent life

  20. Don Phelix

    July 27, 2018 at 9:08 am

    I think this guy has apoint. Go for what you love brother.. In my country Kenya alot of people mostly youths are beind used. They take you a broad you become a house boy then at end you get used more.. It is high time you move away from your comfort at get your girl of your life… go for what you want brother.. Life is too short enjoy it with freedom… wait for the right time to get your visa processed then fly back

  21. JoelsBlog Media

    August 29, 2018 at 5:40 pm


  22. annonymous

    October 10, 2018 at 2:17 pm

    see this guy ooo, just d way he used d white lady, thats how another babe want to use him, bros be wise….

  23. mama

    October 22, 2018 at 10:15 am

    greedy boy…you want mamas visa at the same time you want young love. am sure sex with mama sef is boring abi? do u know what love is? 12 years older and you are calling her mama abi? if you are no longer interested then let her know, but be ready for your greedy arse to be kicked out of poland,as for the new girl u claim to love ijust pity you. love someone u know only online. ucannot test someones character from phone conversations or chats where we all put our best foot forward….when you learn what true love really means and are ready to hustle in life without using others then tell me about love


    November 7, 2018 at 11:28 pm

    When ya amuu moved faster than ya brain equals iberiberism.No be me talk am Biko,ask Dede Cokrocha

  25. Princess

    March 19, 2020 at 3:30 pm

    Really! This is really not having self-control.

    You allow your body to control you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Star Features