Adanna Elechi: The Downside Of Being Busty

A lot of people think having big breasts is just sunshine and flowers since so many busty women and cosmetic surgeons have made money from having and enhancing them. But like every other thing, being busty comes with its disadvantages.

For someone like me who went from not wearing bras to a D cup in two years, I know these downsides like the back of my hands. Apart from the lustful stares from some creeps and demeaning ones who think breasts only grow by touching (ndi uchu), there are a few things that can be very inconveniencing especially for teenagers and even some adults.

Thankfully, I have come a long way from doing Novenas to St. Rita to reduce the size of my breasts, wearing two bras, tying scarves and feeling like everyone was looking at me when the Reverend father says “we ni tenu obi enu” during mass. (I am not joking o.)

So in case, you thought busty girls have it all, I am here to tell you some of the downsides of having gigantic titties. It is important to note that this post is for people who would have preferred a moderate size, but received more blessings naturally and not for those who went out and purchased theirs.

They make you look fat
Imagine slaving in the gym every day of the week and still looking two sizes bigger than the people who are supposed to be your size. This is even worse when you are smallish like me; once you add a little weight, you start to look like a ball. This is my situation right now.

Also, it is not fun being confused about your dress size because your upper body is a different size from the lower one.  If you are Kim Kardashian, you are safe, her body is sick!

Not-So-Cute Bras
When I was younger, the only bras I could wear were old lady bras called Triumph (No disrespect). They were okay, just not for someone as young as I was. This meant I couldn’t wear off-shoulder clothes, tank tops and spaghetti straps my mates used to wear. This was because the straps of  Triumph’ were not made for such fancy outfits. Manufacturers of strapless bras also discriminated against us those days, the bras were never able to hold them and those useless clear straps were always cutting. Classic case of Ara nwanyi Asaba, if you know you know.

These days, big breasts are in vogue and more fancy bras are in the market, but still washing and hanging them in public always has me in my feelings because of the size.

Trampoline is not your friend
The other day, I went to a fitness place in Lagos, as I was jumping on the trampoline the twins decided to join the fun on their own by slapping me up and down, side to side and escaping their cage aka bra. Brethren it was a mess. The worst part is that it isn’t just trampolines, any activity that involves jumping like skipping, aerobics or when the DJ is pumped and says everyone should jump at a party. My worst jumping experience was during parades in NYSC camp, with the white t-shirt, there was no escaping that breast disaster.  Your boobs will just leave you and fly around like ceiling fan. This can do and undo you, be careful. Good news is, you can do all these with ‘triumph’ so just buy them and Kuku enjoy your life.

Constant Backache
I think this should be the worst of the downsides, it is not even nice. Just picture yourself carrying a huge weight on your chest all the time. I kid you not, they get really heavy especially at that time of the month and hurts your lower back.  It can get really discomforting my dear sisters. If you try to lie on your back to ease the pain, they fall to the side, when you try to lie on your chest, it feels like balloons are about to pop and you risk flattening your babies. it is so bad many people have gone for breast reduction surgeries to ease the pain.  Some waist trainers serve has support and can help ease the pain, just don’t buy the one that almost killed me, you can read about my experience here. 

These and many more are some of the downsides of having plenty boobs a.k.a ‘nri nwa’ and to add salt to injury, some yeye research has concluded that poor men are more attracted to big breast, they claim rich men like smaller cup sizes. I didn’t wear Triumph as a teenager for this. We need another research ASAP. For some of you who keep shouting “Adanna I wish I had your boobs”, do you still want them? Especially now you have to also be food for people who haven’t eaten as they are magnets for poor people.  God, please forgive me for this post, you know I love my babies, just that we can work something out about wearing and removing them for some activities and for wearing certain outfits. Thank you, Lord.

This post is dedicated to all the strong and beautiful women battling breast cancer, you all are survivors and I hope this puts a little smile on your faces as you beat that devil into the abyss. Stay strong, victory is yours. I love you and I have you in my prayers.

Photo Credit: Fotos.com.ng