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Nkem Says: Nigerian Men Can’t Handle Women Who Earn More Than They Do

Nkem Ndem

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Nkem Says: Nigerian Men Can't Handle Their Women Earning More Than They DoI recently went to see the movie “Crazy Rich Asians” at IMAX lekki. I had read reviews and concluded it was a cheesy movie that would mostly entertain,there would be no need for deep thinking or cracking of my brain. But while the story was centred around the love between Nick Young and his Asian -American interest Rachel Chu, I couldn’t help but get drawn in by the sub-plot of Astrid, Nick Young’s cousin and her less-than-a-man husband, Michael.

Astrid was introduced as warm and compassionate. Generous. And she was so in love with her husband that she constantly downplayed her own earning power to flatter her husband’s ego… only for him to turn around and cheat on her…then get this, blame her for it.

Sure, the theme of men misbehaving because the woman in their life earn more than them is not new, but I guess this “ministered” to me especially as it brought back some memories I didn’t know I still had.

Some years back, a guy I was dating had lost his job and came to live with me in my apartment for the period. He lost the job when his rent was due and he could not afford to feed him self for the time either. It was not a big deal to me. In fact I saw it extra bonding time as we had been managing a long distance relationship- he lived in Port Harcourt while I was in Lagos. Before long, however, I started to notice weird behaviours from him: he lied about possible jobs to make it look like he had something great coming (in reality he was too depressed …or maybe just too proud to actively search); he wouldn’t help around the house which was crazy considering I had to leave early to work only come back and see his mess around the house -this dude wouldn’t eat until I came back and cook then dish some for him. He started to receive a lot of late night calls from “female friends seeking advice from him”. I could tell he was being an insecure little shit about not being the economic alpha in the relationship, so I asked to have a talk. This dude heaped on me a pile of incidents where he concluded I was emasculating him, because he was staying with me.

The funniest instance I think was that I wouldn’t let him, as the man of the house, talk to the generator repair guy, electrician or plumber whenever they came to work, instead I would negotiate the price with them to show that I was running things. Waawu!  And of course at the time, I wasn’t as knowledgeable as I believe I am now, so I actually apologized.

I since realized that this behaviour is typical of most men in Nigeria.

We live in a country where our income defines a lot about us, so money essentially plays a huge role in relationships. It’s not surprising that even the most level-headed guys can develop unhealthy attitudes about their partner earning more. Men are raised to believe that they should be the breadwinners of their families, so they have this need to feel like the “head of household”. And once a wife or girlfriend’s income is actually greater they feel powerless and emasculated, like they have no control over their finances. As a result, they tend to reassert traditional roles even when such roles are no longer practical or even humane.

On the other hand, some women also have antiquated thoughts about relationships and still feel that the man should be the breadwinner. They still need to think that they can rely on men to take care of them, so they are unable to stand the idea of a man who can’t keep up. Many millennial women, actually, have complicated feelings about making more than their male partners. Because of the disparity in what my they earn versus what their male partner earns, they are frequently faced with adjusting their goals or finding ways to negotiate their feelings. They also tend to take on a larger responsibility in managing the household budget.

I really think that men should not go for women who earn more than they do, if they know they cannot handle it. Also, women should not go for men they earn more than if they can’t cope.

Salary or income should not be the yardstick for measuring self-worth either. Self-worth should be measured in a much better way that way there is no issue with ego when there is a lack of balance between what each earn in a relationship.

What do you think?

Nkem Ndem is a dynamic freelance writer and editor who can be reached for copywriting, editing and proofreading. She is also a content creator (web, T.V, radio) who has had stints with Jumia and SpiceTV Africa e.t.c. Now she works at Glam Africa as Online editor and BellaNaija as Features writer. E-mail: [email protected]; IG: @kem_dem; Twitter: @ndemv

42 Comments

  1. bolintin

    September 18, 2018 at 5:00 pm

    I have issues with this statement “I since realized that this behavior is typical of most men in Nigeria” I wonder the caliber of men you have around you but don’t generalize. I have been raised by a father who is not like that, have a husband who is not like that, have in-laws who are not like that and have brothers who are not like that.

    I would have wanted to say I have friends too but I know we will get into you don’t know them well enough theory.

    i like your write ups but I hate the anti-men campaign. STOP IT! It no longer fun. It has a damaging effect on the long run. A young man reading this might take to it but its wrong. Please just stop it

    • iyke

      September 18, 2018 at 5:45 pm

      The writer is naive and of course you could tell from her write-ups exactly where she is in her life. Well, it’s all part of the growth….learning. I like that she writes and encourage her to keep writing. Hopefully the divergent views here would make her think deeper and hopefully begin to see the world in a more objective / realistic way.

    • @theindulgenceplace

      September 18, 2018 at 5:50 pm

      Lmao please dear, your little bubble of my husband my father is not facts. It is FACTS that this behavior is common. I wish I could post a page from a book Dr Olukoya wrote.
      There is even active market for padlocks to ‘tie your wife’s riches if she is earning more than you’!!! Men that have been known to burn down their wife’s shop, order her to resign and police her bank accounts and you are here saying my inlaws.
      Maybe u live with them and know their financial dynamics sha ki lomode mo.

    • Bee

      September 19, 2018 at 1:34 pm

      School them!

      I’ve seen it so many times. Heard countless true stories. I just experienced it myself. I’m African but not Nigerian. It’s mainly an African man problem. I’m not saying every, but most. Maybe it’s an ego thing(I dont know, that’s why i said maybe).

    • Dami

      September 19, 2018 at 3:39 pm

      Your statement became invalid with your reference to Dr Olukoya’s book. His whole ministry is based on negativity and roasting the devil. He instills more fear of the devil in his followers than faith in God hence the dramatic stories in his book which I sometimes believe it’s exaggeration borderline lies. People gravitate towards negativity, drama more. Yes, there insecure men who are envious of their wives earning more but there’s also a high number of the same Nigerian men who are fine with their wives earning more because they’ve striked a balance on what’s more important than whose check is bigger.
      Freeloaders, users applies to anyone across the board not just Nigerian men. It’s an individual character flaw than anything else.

      If a relationship/marriage is based on genuine love, respect and appreciation, this shouldnt be an issue at all.

    • jade edo babe

      September 18, 2018 at 8:31 pm

      Don’t mind dis nkem girl. She sounds like, “ms know it all”, with the vibe of I’m better than you. Anyway sha, naija babes and their holier than thou attitude. Men naturally want to provide, that’s the only power they think they have over women, and women confirm it all the time. Just like how women think their only power is their body/vagina. So, when a man is not the breadwinner, there’s a natural deep insecurity.
      Women can lie to themselves all they want, most dont know how to act right when they make more money. Men don’t rub it in women’s faces the way women do it. Women won’t be outwardly aggressive but chai, passive aggresive, verbal nagging and soft insults. Including the ones that are quiet and act submissive by giving their whole money to their husbands. Every convo will conclude in them making more money.
      My mom is an example. She makes more money than my stepdad. If i didnt know both of them, i will be siding with her. I know them very well. I’m not close to my stepdad but hes a very frugal, simple man. And he always turns down what my mom suggests, not bcos he’s not aware it’s her money or life he just doesn’t see the point of the extra and my mom is very full of herself. They got into a heated argument not too long ago and he moved out since my mom always has a subtle way to say it’s her house. Now, she’s telling everyone, spreading lies that it’s because he cant handle her success and her making double than him.
      My mom and I havent talked in a month over this issue. Until she comes back to her senses, then we can be back to talking.

    • Adem

      September 19, 2018 at 9:45 am

      I like your honesty in this matter, It not as simple at it seems. Sometimes it is the man that can’t handle the situation and some other time it is the woman. The only addition I have to make is that women are not normally in a situation where they earn more than the man just like men are not normally in the a situation where they have to take care of the home. So when this situations happen it is likely to become an issue if not handled properly.

    • Seriously

      September 20, 2018 at 12:47 pm

      @ndem
      I like your statement. If it’s not handled properly, it can easily become an issue when both sexes are in positions they are not normally in.
      Women feel the need to prove constantly and now when they are in a position of power where it’s not the norm, it can easily be a problem. You want to see an insecure man projecting the worst behavior is when he doesn’t have money or he’s not packing. Sexual prowness is very important to broke men.
      Women who earn more, well accomplished can easily emasculate their men, be bitcy and dismissive to even other women. Now, they are trying to be assertive and prove they are tough. My most difficult boss, worst boss was a woman. She was hell i swear. Then women have entitlement that men are supposed to take care of them, so when its the other way around best believe I aint about to be cooking, cleaning, having sex and then take care of you. Hell no….lol
      What about people watch themselves.
      The author said, if you cant handle it, dont do it.
      Don’t we all think we can handle things, then refuse to own up when it blows up.

  2. TheRealist

    September 18, 2018 at 5:23 pm

    Only proves that Naija men are like the majority of men worldwide…LMAO!

    Never sure why pieces like this come up from time to time as if it is some brand new earth-shattering discovery. The reality is that centuries and generations of gender role legacies has made this a worldwide phenomena. Hopefully, it won’t take more centuries to reverse that ingrained mindset, but frankly this is something that BOTH men and women (and I do not just mean mothers) have contributed to – and continue to do so!

  3. Iyke

    September 18, 2018 at 5:29 pm

    Some jobs pay more than others because the person doing that job is doing something stressful, perhaps, less enjoyable, harder, or requiring skills that they had to sacrifice a lot of time and energy to get.I recognize that.
    Personally,and as a grown man, if my spouse earns more than I do, and I WANT IT TO STAY that way, I will make sure my spouse doesn’t feel the extra effort put into those hours at work isn’t taken for granted. I will help out in the best way I can in our home with a bit of domestic work et al. No big deal, it’s ours.
    The idea that S/he must earn more before you consider dating or marrying is hogwash except if your intention of dating/marrying him.her is because of the earning power.

    • Nnenne

      September 19, 2018 at 10:47 am

      Thanks.
      Most times,that’s all that these women ask for. HELP and UNDERSTANDING.
      Most Nigerian men won’t.
      SAD.

  4. tolu

    September 18, 2018 at 5:35 pm

    Are you talking about the same nigerian men who will not date you unless you have a car or you earn 200k and above? the same Nigerian men who decieve babes, leech on them and take their money? Abeg! Nigeria men like women who earn more so that they can be lazy at home and chase the housemate at home.

    • Olut

      September 18, 2018 at 7:56 pm

      Between you and the author I don’t know who is Better.I tire for both of una

    • Bio

      September 20, 2018 at 10:31 am

      Honestly I don’t understand where people get this silly impression of men from.
      One bad experience and they turn it into all men.

      At some point, my mum had more money than dad but we really did not know persay as their children. we only figured it out later that he always used to refund monies to her.. It was just always a joint effort between them as far as we knew. Once, I said “that is mummy’s money” but my dad replied “that is our money”. He later in life became a banker, “overtook” her financially and she enjoyed the money like someone who had investment and was reaping. My parents are still close like that even at retirement. so to be honest I don’t know what you guys are talking about.

      Currently my hubby earns about 500k and I earn more, its never been an issue for discussion, he does what he has to do (rent, school fees, and feeding along with some extras, treats,groceries etc) and I do whatever I think necessary. He encourages me to invest, get a mortgage in my personal name etc. reminds me to visit my investment consultant etc.

      No all men are bad my dears, women should learn to be careful. teh handwriting are usually clear but you ignore it, e.g I was dating a guy who earned very little, but lived very large so before his salary was even paid he was in debt..

      By the time he receives the salary we are either complaining about no money again or fighting creditors who would have been waiting know he will try to be hanky panky with them. This brother was RELIGIOUS and I was blinded by that fact until God delivered me. Had i married him I would be saying men are scum. Some men are bad not all men are. Some women are bad not all women are. Thanks you. sorry for the long epistle

    • omomo

      September 18, 2018 at 8:01 pm

      As in….i don’t no where she got her statistic from..maybe oshogbo ..because here in Lasgidi dem they rush us girls with big salary because times are hard…

    • DeyRush

      September 19, 2018 at 9:31 am

      Dem dey rush una for girlfriend things naw. Enter marriage, na different story. No say i no warn you. Experience yafu.

    • Californiabawlar

      September 18, 2018 at 8:28 pm

      Tbh I don’t know which is worse ??
      Why can’t they just be normal? Let everyone earn their keep, if/when is life happens and you earn less or more, be supportive and/or enjoy as appropriate ??‍♀️

    • charles

      September 19, 2018 at 12:13 am

      Women are funny, never seen a group of people who like to deceive themselves. Hate the truth. God will forgive Tolu for that her big mouth oozing out lies. Dont project your experiences on others just bcos you chose loser men.
      • Men earn more than women all over the world
      • In that Nigeria, high percentage of women are either trophy wives or stay home mums. Are you including runs girlz. who are getting their money from sugar daddies. There’s an increasing number of working wives and mothers, but in no where are they earning more than men. Dont use linda ikeji as example.
      Tell me how many jobs are women doing in that nigeria that will earn 200k or above. Talkless of naija men only dating women who fall into that category. Do you mean naija women who will look down on you if you dont look flashy? They will judge you based on the car you drive.
      We hear stories of women who stay in abusive relationships because they are depending on the man one way or the other. Even if they have their own money, its not enough and they enjoy spendinf the guy’s money.

    • ninja

      September 19, 2018 at 8:26 pm

      Men earn more than women all over the world ?
      Are you dumb Charles ? don’t answer that

    • charles

      September 20, 2018 at 2:42 am

      @ninja
      I’m not dumb, maybe you are the dumb one. Majority of men earn more than women all over the world and I’m not being sexist. It’s fact. This is due to most professions dominated by males. Is it from politics to finance and business.. Even women being the largest consumers like fashion, it’s still a male dominated industry. My statement is to dispel the commenter’s feeling that Nigerian men only date women who earn a certain type of salary.

  5. Kwame Canada

    September 18, 2018 at 7:12 pm

    Bolintin, Please don’t take it personal, in fact, what Miss Nkem wrote is about 95 percent correct when it comes to West African men. And don’t be surprised if one or two members of your family are part of the percentage who are not comfortable around women whom Miss Nkem is talking about. I know how you feel about this subject, probably you have many brothers, hence, I will elicit that you ask your brothers about this subject and if they are sincere, they will tell you the truth. It is African men nature! But, the world is changing therefore, we men should embrace the situation if we truly “LOVE” our woman, however, the woman “should not” use her economic advantage to diminish the man’s authority.

  6. dupsy

    September 18, 2018 at 7:16 pm

    The truth of the matter is that income disparity is not always constant, after you get married income level changes throughout your married life. You might marry a millionaire today then some years into the marriage he loses his job or his business runs into a problem and you then discover that the bills have to be paid one way or another. The fact you married a man who earns more than you today will most likely not be the same as your marriage progresses, and once you enter that phase most men won’t mind who brings in the dough because you are now considered to be comrades working to keep your home afloat financially unless you guys already have some marital issues like infidelity,incompatibility, inlaws palaver, etc, then income disparity will then drive a deeper wedge between both of you because it will act as a catalyst for those hidden pre-existing problems you had. However, if your home is okay and such a financial predicament happens to your breadwinner and you being the wife steps up her game and brings in the money, most men won’t mind and will be grateful to have a forward thinking woman.

  7. CrazyWorld

    September 18, 2018 at 11:34 pm

    Women should be realistic. When Tiwa Savage issue came out, we all heard how she was the one bringing in money blah blah blah (so much talk for gender equality). When Foston music CEO’s marriage crashed, nobody talked about the man bringing in the money.

    The finance shaming thing is a personality flaw and if one human is nasty, he/she will use it either subtly or openly to shame their partner. Many women say they want a rich husband but how many men say they want a rich wife?

    I once dated a girl who rides a Range Rover Evogue while I was driving a CrossTour. I drove into a pothole and she said (while her friends were in the car) ‘Be careful, this isn’t Honda now’ with a very straight and mean face and this is something I will never do to her. That doesn’t mean all girls do it. My current girlfriend annual income can buy a nice house in Buckhead but I don’t even feel threatened.

  8. Ajala & Foodie

    September 19, 2018 at 1:31 am

    I personally believe there is really no point arguing about issues such as this. I know of a man who was ok sitting on his behind while his wife worked. He did not help around the house either, would wait for wife to come home to cook and care for the baby. She honestly worked herself to death!!! She put her health on “hold” because she was the breadwinner. Dude was very ok with her being the bread winner.

    On the other hand, I have also seen men who are jealous of their spouses earning power and it has made for a difficult relationship. What I have however noticed from my observation is that the issue is really not about the spouse i.e men, at the end of the day, self awareness and communicating expectations in any relationship is the issue here.

    The truth is we are all different and as such different men will meet different women’s needs. I know of ladies who based on their upbringing believe the man should be the bread winner irrespective of their earning power, BTW one of such girls is a medical Dr in the US i.e high earning potential. For a lady like that, a man that is not comfortable with her earning more was key in her search for a spouse and yes she is married.

    For some, a man that is ok with them earning more works for the family dynamic, which is why many stay at domestic dads exist. Interestingly another family I know with a stay at home dad has a MD as a spouse and they live happily off of her income only. Some of us (myself included) want a man who is happy working but is more than happy supporting our interest. Whether we earn more or less does not matter, because we all enjoy the benefits of a good pay day regardless of whose name the check comes in under.

    At the end of the day we have different personalities, perspective and as such we all require different things from our spouses. No one is right or wrong. Key is knowing yourself, understanding what’s important to you and stick with it when looking for a partner and more importantly, communicate this before marriage, and after marriage, from time to time, have checks to make sure you are both still on the same page. All this bruh ha ha will be avoided if we are all self aware before jumping into relationships.

    • babe

      September 19, 2018 at 10:47 am

      Gosh !! totally on point

  9. Dayo

    September 19, 2018 at 4:13 am

    @Kwame please quit with the racist BS about “95% of West African men” (as if you took a poll) and “African men nature”. You have Canada in your moniker (perhaps betrays colo-mentality), but think like someone who has never left his/her village. SMH

  10. Modupe

    September 19, 2018 at 8:43 am

    I love how Nigerian women always use their husbands, dads & inlaws as a yardstick for the rest of the population. One day someone will say Nigerian men are shit in bed and Nigerian women will say na lie, after all they have dads & brothers who fuck for Africa.
    Writer is right once you remove the lekki/IG slayers shield. Go to Iyana Iba or Ketu and see how men are feeling & acting because their wives are making N1k more than them selling paraga.

    • 9ja

      September 20, 2018 at 12:50 am

      @Modupe, you are just as guilty of what you are accusing others of – using men at the few ghettos that you are apparently well-acquainted with as a yardstick for all Nigerian men.

  11. @bolintin

    September 19, 2018 at 9:22 am

    Was/Is your father earning less than your mother? Are your brothers earning less than their wives? s your husband earning less than you? I bet the answer to most if not all of these questions is no. Hence, you cannot say for a certainty that your male family members do not subscribe to that school of thought.

    Although i haven’t spoken to all Nigerian men, i can honestly say that over 90% of the men i have spoken with on this issue would prefer that they earn more than their significant others.

    • Dayo

      September 20, 2018 at 1:51 am

      @bolinton, I bet your buddies also would more likely than. not “prefer” to be taller, in better shape, smarter, perhaps better looking and maybe even of a different nationality. Nonetheless, people’s “preferences” (or ideals) does not mean that they cannot handle the reality that life has bequeathed upon them. Let’s quit with the precipitous presumptions.

  12. Baymax

    September 19, 2018 at 9:25 am

    From reading the comments, i can tell that most of you if not all didn’t take the time to read the article. You just read the title, then GBAM, made your assumptions.

    The last two paragraphs;

    “I really think that men should not go for women who earn more than they do, if they know they cannot handle it. Also, women should not go for men they earn more than if they can’t cope. Salary or income should not be the yardstick for measuring self-worth either. Self-worth should be measured in a much better way that way there is no issue with ego when there is a lack of balance between what each earn in a relationship.”

    • D

      September 19, 2018 at 10:36 am

      I know right ,you know articles that look like seen one seen all. People feel safe to jump into conclusions.

  13. Dandelion

    September 19, 2018 at 9:56 am

    I don’t understand people that read a title of an article and then jump to the comment section without reading the whole thing.

    I read the article and did not see anything wrong with it. It is a fact that most men have issues when their spouses or partners earn more. All the people using their fathers, brothers, husbands and uncles as examples, I’m sorry but they are like 0.000000001% of the men in Nigeria.

    People please be realistic!

    • Nto

      September 19, 2018 at 12:04 pm

      Quick question, did you do a survey to arrive at this your conclusion or are you making assumptions like the people you are accusing. Be realistic and do a survey.

  14. Feminist

    September 19, 2018 at 11:54 am

    In my opinion, women should not date men that are lower than they are financially, socio economically, intellectually.

    If you date a rich guy from a lower class than yours, the relationship will be abusive coz the guy will be insecure and his mannerisms will be of a lower class so no matter how hard you try, you won’t understand where he’s coming from and even when you do, you’ll take lot of crap to make him happy this allowing the abuse (this is my personal experience, dated a wealthy guy from lower class and I still have emotional scars from that relationship)

    I know an MD who’s cheating on his wife with a slay queen. This man grew up in poverty and the only thing that got him girls was his brains, he married a woman who’s father is a SAN, she graduated with a first class in Nigeria and a distinction from imperial college. He cannot impress her with his intellect and so he’s with my friend, sending her training courses, giving her career growth advice, etc. While he buys his wife designer and likes the image she gives him, my friend is the one he can be that village boy with.

    I once had a sugar daddy who spoilt me, I’m talking bought my SUV, pre ordered IPhones, etc. His wife is a General’s daughter and he doesn’t joke with his family at all but the man fell in love with me, not coz of looks or anything but because it was comfortable. This man was a correct run man, met me and started to tell me his every move, passwords etc.
    He loved my ambition and drive but the truth is where I earned 500k a month, he did deals of 45 million. My ambition was good but not enough to threaten him. He gave me a land complete with C of O when he found out I had two pieces of property; one in Ikorodu and one in Agbara his words were ‘let me give you property you can use to collect good loans from the bank’. He always said ‘ I’m proud of You and love showing you off. You’re not the average Lagos girl. You have drove.

    All my dating experiences have taught me something ‘ men like women who are ambitious, successful, feminine and sexy so long as it doesn’t threaten their masculinity” women are also happy with men who allow them express their truest selves while providing them with love, security and comfort’ that’s why it looks like feminists are double sided when we ask for equality and still want to be taken care of but if you go back to the Garden of Eden, Eve was spoilt, pampered and provided for but she still retained her individuality.

    I’ve made up my mind up train my daughter to only date men who can provide for her and who are above her sec. I’ll also reach her to recognize insecurity and run away at the 1st hint of insecurity. It was at the age of 25 I cracked the code of being sexy, feminine, warm while still being an independent, achieving female. It is a man’s wiring to provide for a woman he loves, let’s not take that away from them.

    I am a feminist.

    • ninja

      September 19, 2018 at 8:37 pm

      hmm I enjoyed reading your comment.

    • didi

      September 19, 2018 at 9:49 pm

      @ FEMINIST you sound like an intelligent woman and indeed i agree with most of what you said, its not like men feel ego bruised when their wives earn higher its just that most times these women make the money affect their attitude badly so, a man gets scared that his wife would no longer be respectful if she starts earning higher, if she can give him a reason against this fear, you can be sure he will be supportive. It takes the grace of God not to look down on your husband when you begin to spend more for the family, how many women can remain humble when they begin to earn higher? Unconsciously irritation and insults step in and she still thinks its the man’s fault for her attitudes. Dear you have seen Gods mercy this long please dont yake it for granted thats somebody’s heart you are toiling with and am sure you also want your daughter to be a confident responsible woman so begin yo build thst legacy now. I see God loves you and he is waiting for you to come into his arms and accept his son jesus christ so you can use your intelligence, tenacity and goal driveness to wipe the tears of people out there. All the money and properties are nothing snd can go in just a blink. A not a feminist

    • Sanyu

      October 24, 2018 at 12:54 pm

      You seem quite even headed and authentic, would love to meet you/have lunch,etc. I am female also,so no romantic overtures here…,09035816414 is my number. Do kindly text/or call.

  15. I

    September 19, 2018 at 5:11 pm

    What do I think? Well first of all why live with a man you’re not married to? All in the name of bonding time. What happened to doing things the right way, the God way. It is well with this my generation

  16. chi

    September 21, 2018 at 7:06 am

    nkem pls don’t generalized ur opinion on Nigerian men

  17. #Uche

    October 2, 2018 at 12:17 am

    True! It’s a complex of African gender, most Nigerian men, not all….keep up the insight!

  18. @feminist

    October 11, 2018 at 9:13 am

    your write up just opened my eyes to see some things. i once had an ex who though earned just 40k less than me but could not keep up with my pace, my ambition. he felt i was too much for him to handle. i had big dreams and i still have. he later ended up with a school certificate holder who he said he could control and she worships him. i had to let go of him.

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