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The Mr. Perfect Series by Evi Idoghor: Lagos, Wahala Dey O!

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Read part 3 of the Mr. Perfect Series here.

***

“So has he passed the test?”

“What test?” I answered my sister, a bit confused.

“‘The Titus Test.”

Oh! That test! So I had published a two-part test on my website for both men and women to figure out if a potential partner was right for them. The Titus 1 Test, for women, talked about how women should steer clear from men who couldn’t control their temper, who were drunks, who cheated on them, and so on. Mr. Almost-Perfect was looking right at the moment. There was no need to kick him out of my life just yet. When I wasn’t on the phone with him for hours, I spent hours talking about him to my close friends and family. He consumed my thinking, my thought process, and I was completely sold to the idea that we would end up together.

If you put someone on such a pedestal, when they fall short, you get disappointed.

There was a fight brewing between myself and Mr. Almost-Perfect. I called him on a Saturday, and he didn’t respond to or return my call. Mr. Not-So-Perfect wouldn’t do that, I thought. He was always quick to answer my calls and load my phone with airtime whenever I ran out. Sunday came around with me looking forward to Mr. Almost-Perfect’s call and apology, but nothing came through. Monday, I watched the clock, watched every hour tick by, and still no phone call or even a text.

I began to get worried. Mr. Almost-Perfect was starting to look not perfect at all. Then Tuesday night came around and I received a text message: “Hey sweetheart, how have you been? How was your day? I was asleep when the text came in at 7 PM. I woke up at about 8:30 PM and saw the text. He then went ahead to call me when he didn’t get any response to his text. He was asking why he hadn’t heard from me in a couple of days. Really? You are going to flip this on me? I paid him no mind and sounded cold on the phone. He quickly got wind of my reaction and pointed it out. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, I am, is there any reason I shouldn’t be? Besides, I have a headache.” That was my response back to him. Then I told him I wanted to go back to sleep since I had a long day at work.

He said, “Okay, feel better,” and got off the phone. A few minutes later, he called again, not being comfortable with my passive aggression. He asked if all was well and why I wasn’t my usual cheerful self. I was screaming in my mind, All isn’t well, didn’t you see my missed call? How can you ignore me for days, you are supposed to be Mr. Perfect in the making.

“Yes, all is not well,” I told him. “I didn’t like the fact that I got ignored.” He apologized for his actions, but things kind of went sour after that. Maybe he was left thinking “I haven’t even gotten into a relationship with this girl and she is tripping over an unreturned phone call.” I called my close friend and told her what happened. She kind of sided with his thoughts (not that we knew that was what he was thinking). She said I had set some expectations of this guy I claimed was just my friend. She asked how many times had she told me she would call me back and didn’t, or did not return a call after she missed it, and that didn’t deter our relationship, so why was I tripping?

My dear friend had a point. Even if I liked to think of Mr. Almost-Perfect as just a friend, in my heart, I knew I wanted us to be more than friends. And if things were going to work out, he had to step up his communication game, as I thrive on that in relationships. I guess we couldn’t recover from our little misunderstanding because things became a bit awkward between us. Although we spent hours on the phone after our fight, I felt distant from him. Our communication dwindled. Even if I liked him so much, I loved my pride better, so I didn’t bombard his phone with messages or calls. I didn’t want to be that crazy girl who pursued guys. When another weekend came around, and he didn’t call me as usual, I knew in my mind that was the end, at least for now.

That weekend was hard especially. My sister sent me texts saying, “Good morning, how was your night?” I appreciated the love coming from her, but she wasn’t the one I wanted to hear those words from. I wished her name could change from sister, to Mr. Almost-Perfect. But it didn’t happen that way. Ah, Mr. Almost-Perfect wasn’t Mr. Perfect after all. I wanted to believe Mr. Perfect wouldn’t do this to me, wouldn’t break my heart. He would be committed, no matter what. Even if Mr. Almost-Perfect expressed interest in me, his actions were not measuring up. When he didn’t call for a week, I was so hurt.

I was on my own oh! Lord knows I wasn’t interested in him when he first slid into my dms. But I let my guards down after he complimented my writing. Darn it! Everyone compliments the way you write, why was his own different? I was done with men. I wanted no one to ask for my number or speak to me, definitely not Mr. Not-So-Perfect.

I didn’t enjoy our conversations anymore. He finally told me what he was really interested in: being friends with benefits. I couldn’t give him that. I couldn’t cast off my pearls to what wasn’t going to benefit me. But that was not before I received a gift from him, from the US. Guys, he asked to get me something now. Plus, I was hurting. I needed comfort. I even gave him a scenario of what happened between a ‘girl’ and her potential partner, asking what his advice was, and he said to let things be. If things were meant to work out, they would.

I wished I never responded to Mr. Almost-Perfect’s initial messages. I would have continued being the happy-go-lucky single girl, waiting for her Mr. Perfect. But he had to come into my life. I had to answer him, and we had to end like that. Sigh! Not everyone gets their “…and they lived happily ever after,” after all. Disney, I need my money back for all those years of being sold unrealistic dreams. So he was not the one. I had to look for another. I guess almost doesn’t count.

Evi Idoghor is a Christian, writer, content creator, & contributor. Consumed by her love for writing and desire to effect change, she launched her online platform Let's Talk Nation (letstalknationblog.com), to tap into her creativity and start meaningful conversations that would make a difference around the world. When she is not writing, spends her time talking, reading and binge watching her favorite shows.

19 Comments

  1. didi

    December 3, 2018 at 9:23 pm

    Urrrrgggghhhh

    • Evi

      December 4, 2018 at 3:36 pm

      Lol

  2. Abi

    December 4, 2018 at 12:02 am

    You’ve so perfectly articulated that relationship grey area where feeling are being felt and yet undefined.
    My Mr Almost Perfect ‘ignored’ my phone calls over 2 days so I blanked him for 2 weeks. My male friend says its risky to do that but I have to pose na abi? It worked sha because he keeps in touch now. But ha men sha, you can like to take your time. I wish I could just ask him point blank, ‘what’s up? are you into me, or are you just being friendly? ‘

    • bea

      December 4, 2018 at 2:18 pm

      Babe, ask o.
      when Mr. Hubby was foot dragging about proposal I asked him o.

      I said Guy where exactly are we going? thought you meant something good but it seem to be taking forever. He then said he was planning a big proposal and I am like what big proposal abeg get things done fast joh! My dear that night we picked a date for traditional intro.

      Having married him and gotten to under stand him, trust me if I did not sit him down that night he would still be planning that big proposal o. He just never seem in a hurry to do anything and sometimes never gets to do it because he will postpone it at the slightest opportunity.

    • Evi

      December 4, 2018 at 3:48 pm

      Thanks dear. My dear you have to be bold oh. After this incident, I learnt how to become bold. It sends the guy a message that you know what you want, beyond blanking him.

    • didi

      December 4, 2018 at 6:51 pm

      As you can see my reaction up there like i am short of words, but dear i guess by now youve been found byYOUR PRINCE if not i would suggest you totally rely on God for the right person because i believe its much more stressful when you keep wishing and guessing with every guy you cone across. Dear just spend time enjoying your singleness. Most single people think the martied ones are better off than them, its a FAT LIE for every stage we go through in our lives its vital to our final destination, your single years is not less important than your would be married years. So, enjoy your journey deliberately because hmmmm marriage invloves alot of absence to self (not all the time though) sacrifice, tolerance, forgiveness and communication if peace must reign, its like taking up a life time project, no be moimoi. Now is the only time you have to think of you.

    • Evi

      December 4, 2018 at 8:39 pm

      Hey didi!! Yes oh, our single years are just as important as the years we would spend married. The hopeful romantic in me, just loves love and wants to be in love. And I have learned a whole lot on my journey. Just sharing an exciting experience with you all.

  3. Olayemi

    December 4, 2018 at 3:02 am

    Hi Evi,

    I enjoyed your series. I was really hoping he was the one. So sorry it didn’t happen as “most” of us hoped.
    I am a Christian just like you and a former romantic. God will come through for you. It might not happen when you want it to but God is always right on time. Don’t give up on love, love the way you want it. Even in this situation, there is something to be thankful for. Be thankful that he didn’t string you into a one-sided relationship. At that point, you would want to do everything to make it work despite your standards.

    I wish you the best in love and life.

    • bea

      December 4, 2018 at 2:21 pm

      Babe its not over yet, its a 7 part series so we cant tell yet.

    • Evi

      December 4, 2018 at 3:42 pm

      Hi Olayemi, thank you so much. But the story isn’t over yet. ? come back next week for the next part. 3 more left.

      But yea, it’s better for things to end, even if its just for you to start seeing clearly.

  4. Chuwa

    December 4, 2018 at 9:42 am

    Awww, we have all been there!!! You begin to wish you could turn back the hands of time and never meet the person. Why did Mr Not so Perfect, have to do this? I’m sad! I was ready to live vicariously through you guys.

    • Evi

      December 4, 2018 at 3:46 pm

      Hahahaha!! But the story still continues. Check back next week.

  5. Evi

    December 4, 2018 at 12:17 pm

    Yay!! Finally!! Been waiting with the rest of my readers. Lol. Thanks for posting. Btw this is part 4, there are still 3 more parts to go. Please stick with me ? thank you all for reading.

  6. Evi

    December 4, 2018 at 3:35 pm

    Guys the story isn’t over oh. Lol there is still part 5-7. Be back next week. Thanks for reading.

    Evi.

  7. FKD

    December 4, 2018 at 5:21 pm

    Ughhhhhhhhh!!! Duuuuude, guys are trash! Jk jk jk o lol but on the real, I am so underwhelmed by the spec of dudes I’ve gotten to be exposed to. Friends with benefits though?! Thought that G was saved na? ? I’ve kuku refused to be jaded by my sub-parents experiences my sister lol, as Jesus is my husband and is not wicked, the faith filled hopeful romantic in me hasn’t given up but she does get a tad weary of going thru the motions with these “Mr. Almost Perfect’s” and “Mr.Not So Perfect’s” #dead #suchAweist #bleh #movingon #theyaintready

    • Evi

      December 4, 2018 at 8:40 pm

      Lol!! We have to be wise in these streets.

  8. FKD

    December 4, 2018 at 5:55 pm

    Ughhhhhhhhh!!! Duuuuude, guys are trash! Jk jk jk o lol but on the real, I am so underwhelmed by the spec of dudes I’ve gotten to be exposed to. I’ve kuku refused to be jaded by my sub-par experiences my sister lol, as Jesus is my husband and is not wicked, therefore the faith-filled hopeful romantic in me hasn’t given up but she does get a tad weary of going thru the motions with these “Mr. Almost Perfect’s” and “Mr.Not So Perfect’s” #dead #suchAweist #bleh #movingon #theyaintready #oknotgivinguponMrAlmostPerfect…yet

  9. Elle

    December 4, 2018 at 7:33 pm

    Such an interesting read, the dude fall hand by asking to be FWB, you dodged a bullet.
    On a separate note, I personally wouldn’t let a guy be loading credit on my phone unless we are in a relationship where we both mutually give to each other. It just sometimes sends the wrong message across or sets the wrong expectations.

    • Evi

      December 4, 2018 at 8:43 pm

      Well I guess he always felt bad when I called him and exhausted my credit, so he was always replenishing. And I applaud his honesty though. Some guys would come under the guise of relationship, but they just want to have sex with you. So I’m a big proponent of ‘what do you want in the beginning’ even if I was scared to ask Mr. Almost Perfect what he wanted at first, because I was scared.

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