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Temi Olajide: Hey Mum, Are You Overwhelmed? It’s Okay to Ask for Help

Temi Olajide

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I remember my life as a young mum, having to take care of my toddlers and still go to work. On this particular day, I was so overwhelmed and exhausted and started to wonder if this was what motherhood was all about. How long was I going to continue like this? I felt so helpless that I broke down in tears.

This wasn’t the plan. I want to take care of my kids and also excel in my work as a mum. I discussed with my husband about how I felt and how he needed to help with school runs and some other things. Lo and behold, he agreed immediately. I then asked him why he didn’t suggest to help out all this while. I mean, must I get to this point before you help? He then said something profound, “You never asked for help.” 

Interesting!

Anyway, this is history. After that, I learned the act of asking for help, not just from my husband, but from anyone around me that could be of help, even if it will cost me money. I am happy to say that since then (over 10 years ago), my life has been less overwhelming.

Life as a mum can be pretty demanding and overwhelming. You are faced with basically the same routine and responsibilities on a daily basis. Having to cook, prepare the kids for school, do their homework, handling home chores and to cap it all, you have to work too.

Many times, we are so overtaken by all these demands and it starts to take a toll on your life. It starts to affect everything from physical appearance to emotions, mental health, and even your relationships.

So, how do you know you’re overwhelmed. Here are a few telltale signs:

  • You feel disorganized. Everything seems out of place at work and at home
  • You are anxious. You worry about everything, even the little things.
  • You don’t get enough sleep or you have difficulty sleeping.
  • Zero focus. You go through each day as it comes, you have nothing to look forward to. No drive or goal to achieve anything.
  • You feel depressed and unhappy.  You’re unexcited about life and even the small wins you achieve means nothing to you.
  • Health challenges start to surface. Frequent headaches, chest pains, high BP or worse, heart attack.

Tips to help you overcome being overwhelmed:

  • Feel free to talk to a friend or someone about how you feel and use any good suggestions given.
  • Learn to break down your tasks in order of priority.
  • Learn to say NO. It is better to turn down a request than take it up and not do it properly.
  • Learn to ask for help from family, friends or siblings so you can focus on other tasks.
  • Tell your spouse how you feel and how you want him to help.
  • Take time out to cool off, watch a comedy, listen to music, take yourself to lunch, watch a movie or just take a nap.

Having done all these, pray! Always rely on God for help, wisdom, and direction.

Benefits of not being overwhelmed:

  • Your mind is open to opportunities.
  • Your mind is free from self-imposed limits, you start to see solutions rather than problems.
  • Your mind is free of negative thoughts and feelings.
  • You have better chances to love and be loved by others.
  • You have increased energy to take action on your tasks/goals.
  • You have more time to spend with your kids and your partner.

As a mum, the less overwhelmed you are, the less stressed you are and the happier everyone is.

Temi Olajide is a Certified Child Sleep Consultant and Child Psychologist.Co-founder of Association of Child Sleep Consultants of Nigeria and a member of International Association of Child Sleep Consultants.Founder of Mummyclinicc, an online platform that provides strategies & result driven solutions to the challenges of child rearing and helps mothers to successfully combine the requirements of life and motherhood while responding correctly to the peculiarities of the digital age. Temi is the author of Wi-Fi Kids and Analog Parents, a comprehensive book that equips parents on how to raise well-rounded kids in the digital age. www.mummyclinicc.com,Instagram @mummyclinicc

1 Comment

  1. Tatafo*

    November 6, 2019 at 5:26 pm

    Great reminder. I’m so busy doing the routine, I don’t even have time to ask for help.

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