What Food Combos Are You Planning For Your Christmas Celebration?

What exactly is wrong with eating Noodles and Bread or Beans with Spaghetti? Once people see you eating these combinations, the ajebutter in them will just rear its head and they’ll start speaking English: “it’s not healthy”, “it looks yuck” “ewww”. Please, what exactly is ewww about noodles and bread?

In Nigeria, people eat the weirdest food combinations and let’s just admit that it is cute. Nigerian students are particularly ‘terrible’; they will eat bread with egusi soup, bread and oat/pap, rice and ketchup or rice and okra soup.

Some Nigerian students in the hostels have the perfect idea: they move from room to room with their empty plates or bowls, ask other students what they cooked and fill their plates with each student’s meal. So if the student in room A cooks rice, they’ll take a spoon of rice. If the student in room B cooks yam, they’ll take a slice of yam and put it inside the rice. If the student in room C cooks beans, they’ll take a spoon of beans and mix it with the rice and yam. You know, how hostel students don’t purge regularly is still surprising.

What of those in NYSC camps? The worst! So we heard the gist of one guy who went to collect beans and pap with just one bowl. This dude collected the beans first and asked them to pour the pap instead. He then stirred the food together and ate it. Now before you say ewww, let us tell you now that some people eat bread and toothpaste and they swear by the gods that it is ‘delicious’.

This Christmas, many people will eat and overeat and we can already foresee the many concoction and combination they are going to try out. Some people will eat pounded yam and rice together – no jokes. Others will throw away their fit-fam and start saying things like “if I perish, I perish”, “This life na one”. Some people will eat so much that their tummy will begin to enter a room before their bodies. Some will even deceive themselves by saying “lemme eat this combination so I can purge. If I purge, I will lose weight”. In all thy deceit, never deceive thyself.

Before we tell you the weird food combos we foresee this Christmas, let’s quickly tell you the common and (honestly weird) food combinations we know.

Rice

Rice has suffered!  How can people abuse rice so much? So people eat rice and garri, really? They will take one spoon of rice and the other spoon will be from the bowl of garri. Some people also eat rice with yam or potatoes. Some others eat Rice with Okro or Ewedu – like guys, why would you do this to yourself. Whyyy? For the record, the only acceptable (and normal) way to eat rice is with beans, spagetti, dodo, stew, soup or vegetables.

Bread

If you eat bread with toothpaste, coconut, plantain or suya, you are a cultist – don’t argue. To all ye bread and noodles or bread and banana lovers – you will make Heaven. For those who eat bread and ketchup, well… we can manage you like that sha. If you think we are being biased, take it up in the court of law.

Beans

We know Beans goes with almost any meal, but that gives you absolutely no right to eat beans with Eba. If you are the kind of person who also eats beans, vegetables, and eggs together, just so you know – you are wicked. Do you want to kill us with farts? 

Anyway, this Christmas, it has been unveiled by the gods that some people will eat jollof rice, fried rice, and chicken/beef – all together. Don’t ask how – only the gods know.

Haha, what were you expecting? That we will reveal people’s future plans? Nahh, we’re cool like that. Anyway, what are your plans for Christmas food-wise and what weird food combination will you be trying this season?