6 Ways Nigerians Can Practice Good Social Etiquette

Nigerians can be annoying. Arggh! Okay, not all Nigerians, but mehn, many Nigerians can infuriate you with the things that they do. From our siblings at home to that woman in church – whose hat is like DSTV satellite. Then there’s that your father’s friend who likes to poke his nose in your affairs.

Why is everyone is so annoying?

Nigerians are a unique set of people; they are the ones who will see ‘Do Not Urinate Here’ boldly written on the fence, yet still whip out their private part to pee on the fence. They will even draw the map of Nigeria while peeing. They are also very loud – screaming their lungs off at the slightest provocation.

But as annoying as Nigerians are, we have nothing but love for us. Say all the bad things you can about Nigerians, deep down within you, the love you have for Nigerians and Nigeria cannot waver. O deep gan.

Anyway, if you are a Nigerian, here are some ways you can improve your social etiquette.

Learn to mind your business

Yea, it’s good to give advice to people when you think they need it or to want to help when you feel people are in trouble. But the thing is, if people don’t approach you with their problems, there’s no need to chook your nose into issues that don’t concern you.

People always say that it is only our ancient-of-days parents that are guilty of this, but it is a very big lie. Even youngies and youthies are very guilty. Nigerians love to give unsolicited advice and, even though the intentions are good, it is still not right. You will be going on the street in your pencil jean and nice top and one mama will just drag you from nowhere to say “my pikin, this dress wey you wear no good. It is how you dress you will be addressed.” Mama biko, what is ya own? 

Don’t be like this. Remember that not everyone practices your religion or shares your opinions, so telling someone to stop wearing make-up or trousers is wrong.

Quick gist: That is how one maiguard who had just resumed work some months back called one lady who was his neighbour and said “aunty no vex for this thing wey I wan talk, but I notice say you dey always dey house. Even if you no wan go school like your other sisters, at least find work do. E no good as you just dey siddon for house dey do nothing.” The lady – who was a graduate and was working remotely – was stunned into silence. While the security guard thought he was giving the lady useful advice, the question still remains, who asked him?

Don’t be those people who see their friends after a long time and then say “ah, you’re now fat o, I have one tea that will make you ‘slim down'”. Don’t be an amebo, mind your business. While it is good to give advice, know when and where to.

Can you stop laughing when people are serious?!

Our friends do this a lot and this thing can pepper. Imagine when you’re trying to say something that is really hurting you but they’re laughing over it. They will also be the first to laugh when you fall into the gutter or hit your head hard against the wall.

Yea, sometimes you cannot control your laughter, but if you are tempted to laugh when your friends are hurting, consider how they will feel when they realize that their feelings is of less importance to you. Remember that that present situation is not about you, it is about them – so do them the honours of keeping a straight face while listening to them.

Why are you trivializing your offense?

Our parents are on this table – even our friends too. Instead of simply apologizing for the wrong things they have done, you will, instead, hear things like “Nkechi, come and eat o, I cooked your favourite”. Oga Madam, can’t you just apologize??

Our friends do this too. When you’re recounting the ‘painful’ thing they did to you, you will hear things like “na because of that small thing you wan cry, alaye forget am jor”.

Nigerians need to learn the act of owning up to our shortcomings, apologizing for them and then making a resolve not to repeat them. There’s no need to do odeshi when you know you are wrong. Saying “I’m sorry” whenever you offend someone won’t drain your bank account. Learn to apologize.

Also, don’t assume money can solve everything:

M: Mr. Man, you bashed my car.

V: Ehen, I did not see you now, is that why you’re shouting? How much is it sef, let me pay.

See ehn, some people don’t want your money. They just want to know that you are remorseful. It is wrong to think that when you splash some Naira notes, the person you offended will just mellow. It doesn’t work that way.

Follow the rules!

Why do Nigerians like to pass corner corner and not obey rules? Some people will see about 50 other people in a queue but will still jump to the front. Those that have been waiting since, are they goats?

Obeying rules are very important if we want a Nigeria of our dreams. You cannot pass one-way or zoom off when the traffic light turns red and still expect that the country will be better. Many Nigerians think not obeying rules is being smart and cool. It is either they are trying to do magomago to have their way or they will want to beg their way through the consequences of breaking the rules.

Example:

“If you don’t have your card, you can’t pass through this door.”

(Nigerian that is cardless) “Madam, I beg you in the name of God, you will not know lack, your child will not die, you will not break your leg, your eyes will not go blind, maggots will not eat your nose… please just let me pass.”

Don’t beg, follow the rules!

Looking into people’s phones

Are you one of those who likes to turn your neck like a giraffe to look into people’s phones? Haha, we’ve caught you.  Someone will be pressing their phone in the bus jejeli and another person will nearly break his neck because he want to ‘look’. Some will even ask you to tilt your phone to one side or increase the volume so they can watch the movie with you.

Talking about volumes, why do people play music loudly in the bus? Whyyyy? There is something called an earpiece, why do they subject all passengers to their pangolo music? It’s not fair, some people just want to sleep.

These habits need to stop. Looking into people’s phones means you are invading their privacy (yes, it’s that deep). Playing loud music also means you’re disrupting public peace. If you must play music in the bus, kindly use your headphone.

Over to you guys, which of these annoying Nigerians are you? If you lie, we will know ?. What steps have you taken to ‘change for good’?

P.S – In case you are tempted to say “not all Nigerians”, yea, we know but… worefa.