Self-acceptance is the biggest gift we can give ourselves. We think it’s as simple as fluctuating in our beliefs of what we know and exhibit ourselves, but it’s more compound than that. As a matter of fact, compound effects are what slowly but steadily give rise to fully accepting oneself, because once we accept a part of us, its effects lead the next phase to be less harder, hence culminating to total self-acceptance. Still, it’s not always a piece of cake.
We “accept” the realities (be it our body, minds, personalities and so on), yet we fluctuate on how accepting we are of them through the way we react to certain life events. Because we cry when we ought to be grateful, lack confidence when we should exhibit it at its core, hide when we should revel, and on top of all these, we desist showing ourselves compassion.
We are very brutal when it comes to dealing with ourselves and usually nicer when dealing with other people like our friends or family members. We sometimes substitute their pain for ours and get to the bottom of it while running away from the hollowness of our lives. Most times, we help others to fill those void, yet we remain empty with nothing to fill us back.
What if I told you that self-acceptance is one the greatest ways to rid yourself of or lessen that burden of guilt, and shame expressed through the fluctuations in your behaviour?
Before delving into that, it helps to know what self-acceptance truly means: it is the ability to accept who you are fully, acknowledging both the good and bad sides and the strong and weak sides to you without flinching.
Flinching is often a best sign that we are yet to fully accept ourselves. It is a form of self-doubt which is contrary to self-acceptance. When we boldly accept ourselves, we become less afraid to depict our flaws, our weakness, our personality, our traits, and our inconsistencies because we believe they’re all part of who we are. We also become boldre in acknowledging the other side of us that is strong, resilient, empathetic, intelligent, and gracious.
So even though we make mistakes here and there, even though we mar in areas people don’t expect us to, we can swiftly pat ourselves on the back out of compassion and figure out ways to retrace our steps. Unflinching comes with recognizing that with compassion, there will always be another opportunity to make amends. We’ll never act impulsively and take these opportunities for granted, instead, we’d actively work to make sure we correct our wrong ways. But in everything we do, we move forward.
This is the difference between someone who has accepted themselves over someone who is still scared and flinching. It might still be over how their bodies are shaped, how their minds work, how they portray their differing aspects of life, whatever it is, it’s noteworthy to reemphasize that total self-acceptance is embracing all aspects to you - spiritualism, physical, emotional, and psychological framework.
So when you come to the point in your life where you’re unwavering in your authenticity, then you have fully accepted yourself. You can learn to forgive knowing that you hope to be forgiven of your bad sides, you can forgo knowing that you hope to be treated the same someday. You can exercise compassion knowing that it’s all it takes to fully reach the stage you aspire to . You would start to treat yourself like you treat a friend. Then pain becomes mediated, loneliness abolishes, and only warmth, inner joy, self-esteem and confidence stays, to keep you reaching higher heights.
It is at that moment of unflinching that we can hit our chests in confidence to say that we’ve attained an enormous degree of self-acceptance.
No one else will accept you if you haven’t accepted yourself yet. It starts with you.