Ahmad Adedimeji Amobi: The Bliss of Solitude

I was at a gathering sometime last week and after about an hour, I decided to leave. For someone who spends most of his life indoors, attending the gathering was a mood lifter; my head felt heavy and I could use some interactions and playfulness. But after a while, I decided to leave. My friend, who understood how stressed I had been in the past few days, thought it was a rash decision to leave. He tried to persuade me to stay but I had made up my mind. The statement he made next is the reason I’m writing this. He said, “You will just die lonely, bro.” And I have been finding it hard to shake it off. I don’t think I am lonely and leaving that gathering was needed.

But that’s by the way.

I think the world has become so noisy. Social media is now so noisy that it is difficult to experience silence just for a minute – there’s always gbas gbos left and right. Right now, it seems like we have reached a new pinnacle of noise. The incessant buzz of social media, the constant bombardment of news, opinions, and information overload have created an environment where silence has become a rare and precious commodity.

Although loneliness (read: being alone) has attracted some sort of stigmatisation and has often been attached to mental distress, I feel it’s crucial at this time. It’s not about being lonely, but rather being alone with our thoughts, our dreams, and our reflections. It’s like an art that is being overlooked yet important (or meaningful, you can say) because it holds the key to understanding ourselves and finding peace amidst the chaos. It’s not about isolation; it’s about self-discovery.

Loneliness implies a sense of lacking companionship, a feeling of being disconnected from others. Solitude, on the other hand, is a deliberate choice to spend time alone, away from the distractions of the external world. It is a conscious decision to embrace silence, engage in introspection, and explore the depths of one’s thoughts and emotions.

In the words of the philosopher Blaise Pascal, “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” While opining on Pascal’s quote, Karen Koenig says “‘All’ is an overstatement in my estimation, but I do believe that some of our problems stem from an inability to be comfortable by and with ourselves.” In our constant quest for external stimulation, we often neglect the importance of cultivating an inner life. Solitude provides us with the space to confront our fears, examine our beliefs, and confront the truths we may be avoiding.

Solitude can provide a refuge from the constant noise of the world. In today’s society, as opinions are amplified through social media and echo chambers, it can be easy to lose track of our own voice. We consume content from different mediums, and this makes it easy to lose our introspective selves. By withdrawing into solitude, we can differentiate between external noise and our own inner wisdom. It can inspire personal growth and self-discovery. It is during moments of peaceful reflection that we can uncover our deepest desires, passions, and values. By eliminating the distractions of the external world, we can focus our attention inward and develop a sense of purpose and direction.

Now I am not saying we should consistently stay indoors because staying indoors all day may “fuel anxiety, insomnia and that too-familiar sense that humans just aren’t meant to spend the whole day inside.” We also need people. We need to be surrounded by people so we can get distracted from work or activities that can mentally drain us. What’s important is finding that balance between understanding when we need to be around people and when we need to revert to our innermost selves.

We should be careful of misunderstanding solitude as a state of social disconnection and isolation. It is not about cutting oneself off from the world but rather finding a balance between spending time alone and reconnecting with our inner selves and spending time with others. It is about building a healthy relationship with oneself to develop deeper connections with others. It is like this: amid the chaos of our fast-paced lives, solitude provides a haven for self-reflection, introspection, and mental wellness.

As Maya Angelou said, “I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of the time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.” Meanwhile, she also rendered this poem to people. Therefore, let us not forget the significant benefits of solitude in our pursuit of a meaningful and fulfilling life. Let us embrace the art of being alone with our thoughts, dreams, and reflections, as it is in these moments of quietness that we can genuinely discover ourselves.

Have I spoken well?