Adesholamie Spense: How Women Can Start Taking Charge of Their Finances

MetaAI

“Women should be good with money, but not talk too much about it.” That silent rule shaped how many women were raised. We were taught how to manage, how to stretch, and how to sacrifice. But no one taught us how to build wealth, protect our future, or grow money in a way that puts us first.

As women, we were told to save, but not encouraged to invest. To support, but not ask for more. To be humble, but not financially bold. It becomes even harder when you are the first child or first daughter in your family. That often means you were raised to take care of your siblings and others before yourself. Raised to work hard, send money home, show strength and resilience, and never complain about the weight on your shoulders, even on days when you just want to be a baby girl. 

And while that is not essentially a bad thing, it can come at a cost.

But where do we fit in?

What happens when we are tired? When rent due? When an emergency comes up and we are silently struggling, smiling on the outside, and praying for a breakthrough? What happens when the very people we have always shown up for cannot show up for us?

Those are questions I want every woman to ask themselves. More than ever, women now need to give themselves grace and step into financial power, because wanting financial peace is not selfish but a first step to taking charge of your money. In a world that often forgets women’s financial needs, taking charge starts with giving yourself permission to plan, save, build, and grow for yourself, before anyone else.

How do we begin?

A woman who loves the idea of money or wants to step into that zone feels overwhelmed because they do not know where their money is going.

The first step is to track your transactions and record the amount of money coming in and going out. You do not need a fancy spreadsheet; you just need honesty, a pen and a piece of paper. If you can track your income and expenses, that is the beginning of freedom.

A lot of people think financial discipline starts when you earn more. Still, the truth is that more money often brings more confusion if you do not already have a plan. If you do not know how to manage, save and invest the hundred thousand naira at hand, you will probably struggle when you have access to even a larger amount of money. So, start managing the little you have now, as even one thousand naira saved with intention is powerful. It is not about how much, but how consistent.

As women, we are expected to always say yes to every request, to every emergency, and to every family member in need. But what helped me a lot on my financial journey was setting boundaries and deciding how much I can give without going broke, bitter, or burnt out. Having boundaries is not selfish, but survival.

It is also high time you start putting something aside for yourself and stand on business. This could be in a savings app, a mutual fund, an investing account or even an account only you have access to. As a woman, you deserve money that is yours and yours alone. Money that does not need approval, money that gives you choices, and money that does not include anyone else.

Some of us grew up thinking it was rude to talk about money, and that silence keeps women in the dark. Ask your friends how much they charge, what side hustles they do, and discuss saving tips. Share wins and failures. There is something powerful about women helping other women grow financially.

As someone who loves talking and learning about money, I have realised not everyone learns finance the same way. Some people read, some watch YouTube, while some prefer reels and TikTok. So, find what works for you, follow women who break down money in simple ways, ask questions, and Google random things. Knowledge is free, but you must be willing to find it.

A lot of women do not celebrate most things, not because we have nothing to celebrate, but because we keep waiting until we reach a certain milestone. But why are you not proud of the little progress you make? Why not celebrate every step you take? You said no to a spending temptation? Did you save something this month? You finally opened that budget app? That is progress, and these could also be celebrated.

It’s possible that you borrowed too much or spent all your savings. You might have overlooked warning signs or overspent due to stress. This doesn’t mean you’re bad with money; it simply means you’re human. Learn from your experiences, heal, and grow. It’s never too late to start; you’re not too far behind, and you don’t need to have everything figured out to begin. Every woman deserves financial confidence, rest, and options—and that includes you. Start with honesty, take small steps, and begin even if your voice shakes. The life you’re building is valid, and the woman you’re becoming is powerful.