BN Prose: My Boyfriend & I by Arit Okpo

Posted on Tuesday, February 19th, 2013 at 9:08 AM

By Arit Okpo

My name is Sheila, I’m 25 years old. This is my boyfriend. His name is Rob; he’s 60 years old. He has been in Nigeria for 3 years as part of a 5 year contract. We’ve been together 2 and a half years.

You’ve got some questions for me? Why not? I’d be glad to answer them

Why did I decide to date a white guy? Why not? A man is a man isn’t it?

Yes I know what people say about young Nigerian girls dating older white guy. I know what they think when they see us together. When we first met I used to care; now…I know half of it is envy, that I have the nerves to do what they couldn’t do.

Ha! I know he won’t marry me but I also know that as long as he is here, I am the only woman he will ever be with, and that’s fine by me. Isn’t it better than half of you who stick with some loser small boy for years? You wash his clothes, use your hard earned money to buy expensive foodstuff to cook delicious meals for him, spend money on weaves and clothes to keep looking perfect, put up with his disrespectful friends and younger siblings…all to show that you are wife material; in the hope that he will marry you before your eggs finally give up and turn to crème caramel.

Rob will not marry me – I know it and he knows it, I will enjoy the time we have together and when it is time for him to leave, I will send him off with good wishes and gratitude for a wonderful time together.

Love? What is your definition of love? Is it being unable to go a minute without thinking of him? Ain’t nobody got time for that! I love Rob in my own way, he showed me a way of life that I might never have been introduced to and I will always be grateful for that. This thing we call love is really about fluttery feelings that have less to do with a person and more with what they make us feel. I see things differently, I have a relationship with give and take, we both play our parts and I am happy with that.

What I get out of it? Where do I start? We go to the finest restaurants, travel to exotic places, I live in a comfortable serviced flat, have my own car. He pays my sister’s school fees, and for my father’s monthly checkups. I even own land in my town and I have started building. Before I met Rob, I would have saved for months to afford a trip to the spa, now I go as I wish. I know how to use chopsticks, I attend French lessons now. He has opened my eyes to a life that I never thought I could enjoy.

Sex? You guys don’t believe in privacy do you? Well, yes we have sex. What do you mean how is it for me? How is it for you when you have sex with your boyfriend? Mscheew. Next question please.

My family likes him. Even though he and my dad are age mates, he still calls Daddy “Sir”. Mummy calls him her son and fusses over him when he comes to visit. They see what he does for me and they appreciate him. Yes I lost friends because of it, a few insulted me and left, one actually went behind my back to try to snatch him from me. That day I thanked God Rob isn’t Nigerian. Your boyfriend would probably have chopped and cleaned mouth, mine called me immediately to tell me what had happened.

I don’t really care what people think. I know what Rob does for me. He treats me with respect, like a partner. One day I went to do my hair and I was delayed. I rushed home thinking he would be upset at me; I walked in to see that he was putting a meal together; he said he knew that I would be tired. I was stunned! Would your boyfriend do that? Does he rub your back when you have cramps and take the time to feed you chicken soup? Does he take the time to teach you the difference between a normal fork and a dessert fork? Does your boyfriend even know that there is a difference? Does he advise you on how to invest your money? Has your boyfriend ever travelled to your village to learn about your history?

People look at Rob and I and all they see is another old man with another young girl. I walk past them and I see the scorn in their eyes. I would be bothered, but then I think about the opportunities this man has gotten for me. He has helped me to package myself and now I have a good job. He has taught me what it is to be respected and valued by a man. I have learned about foods and ways of life from around the world, I can hold a conversation with anyone without worrying that I will sound ignorant. He has shown me that I am a big deal and that men should feel lucky to have me. So really, why should I care about your opinions? Why should I care what you think about me? I know what I have, what Rob has given me and I am content with that.

Now if you don’t mind, I have to go now, Rob and I are going to Senegal for a week, and I have to pack.

Photo Credit: newamericamedia.org
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Writer’s Note: This piece is not meant to be a generalization of the usual relationships between foreign older men and younger Nigerian women. I have been fortunate to meet several women in loving relationships with older foreign men who tell me simply that who they are with is who they happened to fall in love with, or that they cannot cope with young or Nigerian men. However, there is a general mindset that we tend to have when we see these couples; this piece is a response to that – a rather sarcastic response I dreamed up. My point in writing this piece is to try and show that everyone is entitled to the life that they choose, that even if it is not our preference, we must learn to respect one another’s choices.

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  • 135 Comments on “BN Prose: My Boyfriend & I by Arit Okpo”

    Comments
    • Abiola February 19, 2013 at 9:24 AM

      As innnnnnnnn…….you make sense…..since its a five year contract , babes u good to go jare. dont worry when the contract is over, you would be 27 0r 28, u would get a guy that would marry you…babe if i get this opportunity i would go for it….mi o raye mehn…lol

    • nnenne February 19, 2013 at 9:31 AM

      i get the writer’s point though but after Rob, what next?

      • pretty eyes February 19, 2013 at 10:18 AM

        Exactly my point

        • tbn February 19, 2013 at 10:33 AM

          After Rob she would meet another man who should either value and treat her right or hit the curb. Rob has taught her that she’s priceless and he has opened her eyes to the fact that no man should or could treat her anyhow he pleases. Nigerian men have huge egos and believe they should treat a woman as they please, especially with disrespect. I need a Rob in my life jare.

        • Lolita February 19, 2013 at 5:39 PM

          Same here O jare! if I was still single and meet a Rob, I’d take my chances joor! As the writer clearly said, the contract ends in a short while and Rob has to go back. But the way and manner he has already set her up, it is such that only an exposed and successful Nigerian man can even jaa her face in the first place!!!

          Let’s be real here, you think if you’re not looking well packaged a younger and successful naija guy will even look at you twice? Now tell me, no be money dem dey use maintain such looks and exposure before the man go like you?

          And pls note that not everyone is from a rich and privileged home where her parents can afford to provide her with a good start up in life! So it’s not about working hard to achieve it yourself! No matter how hard you work, there is a limit to which you can go if you didn’t get a good head start from formative years. For example, it takes going to a good school and I’m not even talking about the expensive ones here o! to afford you a a chance for a decent middle class living in the future.
          So if your parents ain’t rich then you don’t deserve to end up happy and living well?

          Abeg!

      • bimbim February 19, 2013 at 11:41 AM

        After Rob is marriage to the nigeria guy who appreciates a girl that has accomplished alot for herself before they met, a guy that would respect her for owning all she has and also a guy that would also be grateful he met a career woman, who can represent him well and boost his ego….. Take note that they have a staedy rltionship, u and i also date young nigerian men, hoping that it ends up in marriage, and if it doesnt, my dear what next? ask yourself! ………………………u move on!

        • Kola S February 19, 2013 at 1:30 PM

          “accomplished a lot FOR HERSELF before they met”, “a career woman”???????

        • nnenne February 19, 2013 at 3:57 PM

          bimbim, tell me about it!!! accomplished indeed……

        • Anon February 20, 2013 at 2:35 PM

          @Kola and everyone else who doesn’t get it: the point is that Rob has taught her to be exposed and has helped her climb a few notches up the social ladder. She is now better packaged so she will definitely appeal to a better pedigree of men than before she met Rob when she probably didn’t have a car, nor possessed posh mannerisms etc..Nigerian men like a woman who looks good on their “CV” be it for looks, pedigree or personal achievements and truth is, nowadays they don’t care where it came from. My wife works in Chevron and knows how to speak French not minding she may have – to get that job or learned French from a “Rob”

        • Kola S February 21, 2013 at 12:58 PM

          Really? Those with a different opinion don’t get it! Interesting.
          Anyway, let each person hold on to their own idea of what it means to be accomplished. The end always justifies the means right?

    • Peachy_mo February 19, 2013 at 9:34 AM

      This got me reeling with laughter and thinking…after 5 years what next? You will come back to look down your nose at the ‘losers’ you’re left with simply because Rob have taught you the “difference between a normal fork and a dessert fork”? As his name implies, he has “ROBbed” you of your youth (or did you ROB yourself?) with a younger man (regardless of gender) who will still have guided you through the basic of what your Rob has given you. I’m proud of your parent to have been so openly welcoming to your ROBber. But then, you have the certificate to your life in your hands and like you rightly said: “Why should I care what you think about me? ” Enjoy your life dear! *like the writer said, this is also just a sarcastic response o!*

    • alyce February 19, 2013 at 9:42 AM

      hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm straight on point. loving it

    • Sexxie February 19, 2013 at 9:43 AM

      Oh well, to each his/her own. Whatever rocks ur boat. Thanks Arit! Nice piece.

    • Sandra February 19, 2013 at 9:44 AM

      lol this is very funny but sincerly, she is saying her mind sum nigerian men could be funny as long as Rob is not a married man, she is free jare cary on girl….lol

      • Prinz charles February 19, 2013 at 10:44 AM

        …not a married man? a man that old not married? come on…

        • Tiki February 19, 2013 at 1:09 PM

          Since when is age an indicator of nuptial ties? Are you telling me you don’t know anybody who is 60 and unmarried. He may even be divorced! Honestly, some comments are so dumb they should never be shared with the world.

        • Chic February 19, 2013 at 3:28 PM

          Tiki thank you jare! The man may be divorced, never married or widowed

    • Kay February 19, 2013 at 9:44 AM

      HHmmmmmmmnnnn!

    • Lila February 19, 2013 at 9:45 AM

      Really nice….everyone has a reason for being in a relationship..some for love,some for companionship,some for sex,some for money…as long as both parties are totally upfront about what they want.i don’t understand Nigerians’ grouse with their ladies dating expatriates,aren’t they human beings as well?

    • Uche February 19, 2013 at 9:51 AM

      Nice write up!…. am not dating an older or white man but people need to understand that its “your world; your rules”.

    • miss E February 19, 2013 at 9:54 AM

      My dear I can relate. I didn’t particularly date a white man but I was getting real close to a non Nigerian man and the two weeks we spent together was totally different from my Nigerian men experience. Not to say Nigerian boys are that bad o but…

      • Lolita February 19, 2013 at 5:45 PM

        I feel you dear! there is always a big difference. It’s like living in two worlds!

    • Debbie February 19, 2013 at 9:57 AM

      I totally agree with her! some of these young nigerian guys can be very irritating either bcos of love, sex, money or marriage, whether its black or white as long as you’re happy & fulfilled….let them say!

    • Benson February 19, 2013 at 10:03 AM

      Who cares if you look after Rob contract has expired and he leaves Naija to his country u can decide to go with him or you can decide to get another 100 years old white man.It is your life and i don’t give a damn about it.Even if i c u 4 road i will not look at you twice or even envy u.

    • jumai February 19, 2013 at 10:05 AM

      very interesting i must say, but its whatever rocks anyone boat, every one with thier own i supose. and yes i can also relate with this lol. nice write up.

    • Neni Stone February 19, 2013 at 10:06 AM

      All’s well and good only and only if the Rob baba isn’t married in his country. nenisnaija.blogspot.com/

    • Philly February 19, 2013 at 10:16 AM

      This is the height of ignorance, date who ever you want to, it’s your life after all, but please drop the lame excuses, not all young Nigerian men are bums, that he rubs your back and feed you chicken soup don’t mean shit. Don’t make excuses for whoever you date, when he goes back I hope you marry a white man, cos with all you’ve said about the young Nigerian men, you can’t possibly want to end up with one eventually

    • Peace February 19, 2013 at 10:26 AM

      I can totally relate..Im 23 and my husband is 40…my friends thinkf i married for me, but I know how he makes me feel

      • Molly February 19, 2013 at 5:55 PM

        True dear! I nearly ended up like you! And I can totally relate. I nearly married a guy at 40 when I was 25. He treated like a queen, pampered me and showed my great tolerance. He looked at me like his little kitten and did nothing but make me happy.

        I didn’t marry him because he told me he was a jail bird in Canada, and I really couldn’t cope with knowing I was getting married to an ex-prisoner. But while it lasted it was okay. I’m happily married now with child but looking back at my past, I know there’s a big difference btw being with a younger and an older guy

    • Zoe February 19, 2013 at 10:28 AM

      LOL!!!!!! So are you any different from any other girl that dates a younger 9ja guy that don’t marry them at the end of the day. NO! So why would you date a 60 yr man that probably is have a wife and grown ass kids in his country,knowing he wouldn’t marry. how do you classify your relationship? DESPERADO!!! LOSER!!!!! That’s what i’ll call you. And its only dumb ass girls like you will be jealous of you. I can see that you’ve no big dreams for yourself . There is more to life than Fine Restaurants and Exotic Holidays. Young girl let me give you some advice go get yourself Job, a decent young man black or white that will treat you right . Because little old Rob might just have a heart attack soon even maybe b4 his 5yrs contract is up. PEACE!

      • Peace February 19, 2013 at 10:39 AM

        so what if she dates a young man but is in total misery…to each his own…live and let live

      • Partyrider February 19, 2013 at 10:43 AM

        Ha..this one you are tearing your pant on top fiction. Take a deep breath eh..it’s not that serious and keep your voice down.

        • Uche February 19, 2013 at 10:52 PM

          LMAO! On top fiction o. I tire mehn. I’m just weak

        • Charlotte (Charlie) April 28, 2013 at 3:58 AM

          LOOOOOL I don’t think I’ve ever laughed this much in my life! LOL @ “tearing your pant”

      • Omo1 February 19, 2013 at 11:02 AM

        Like it was BASICALLY pointed, she got all the material benefits! I guess that’s how most Nigerian ladies relate with fulfillment and achievement..too bad!

      • None February 19, 2013 at 11:07 AM

        Too bad writer , all what you described as what you learned from Rob, ought to be taught to you from your home. All these things boil down to your family. If you had these experiences at home none of these things can ever trip you in your life. may be you haven’t met the right YOUNG man, cos I dated a few who were outright gentle men and didn’t have to slave my self for any one to love me. you just need a healthy dose of SELF ESTEEM. If you have one any young man will be willing to do these for you and more. He may not have as much money but you are sure that he will last for more that five years.

      • Pink February 22, 2013 at 3:13 PM

        bia Zoe abi ZOO, didnt u see the part where she wrote she have a job, nice car, serviced apartment? i can lend u my glasses

    • Atoke February 19, 2013 at 10:33 AM

      WHOA!!!!! CALM DOWN GUYS!!! It’s FICTION!

      *drops mic*

      • Bleed blue February 19, 2013 at 2:28 PM

        ROTFLMAO!!! Atoke the thing tire me too oh!

    • Cindylee February 19, 2013 at 10:35 AM

      Na your life mehn but me, I no fit abeg!

    • Prinz charles February 19, 2013 at 10:40 AM

      Enjoy yourself as long as he does not shot you one of these days… did I hear you say… what? ..yes ooo… check out Oscar …

      • Partyrider February 19, 2013 at 10:46 AM

        Prinz he will SHOT her by God’s grace, he may only SHOOT her :D

    • Abiola February 19, 2013 at 10:41 AM

      lol @ Atoke……..

    • YVONNE February 19, 2013 at 10:55 AM

      I totally love this piece. In the end all that is sought is happiness. And those of you asking what next, she’ll move on this time with class and experience. She won’t be with all this cheap naija bobos, some of them still gat class,those will be her pick

    • Peachy_mo February 19, 2013 at 11:01 AM

      hehehehe! hahahahah!kikikikiki! mehn…see laugh! you all are just cracking me up from tearing pant to drops mic to ‘shot’…chai! mehn but really fiction has an iota of truth sha o…

    • Ms lala February 19, 2013 at 11:05 AM

      love the write up…lol@at the marriage…nna mehn that relationship was contract based lol. but age ain’t nothing but a number o!!!!

    • skinnygirl February 19, 2013 at 11:08 AM

      People taking this personal, I hope you realise its just Fiction ooooo, besides the writer took time to explain after the text!!! Na wa sha!!!I need a Rob in my life….

      • ao February 19, 2013 at 2:19 PM

        THANK YOU for pointing this out. I was starting to wonder whether othes read the author’s note.

        • Omo1 February 19, 2013 at 5:17 PM

          We know its fiction…but in reality this is the mentality of most young Nigerian girls! for those who haven’t really seen much in life and believe that dating a white guy, old or young brings an end to all their misery. WRONG!!!

      • Ayo February 19, 2013 at 6:16 PM

        AZ IN!! I don’t mind a Rob right now mehn!

    • AW February 19, 2013 at 11:10 AM

      “Fiction” or “real”, “foreign” or “naija” no one can judge untill you have walked that road personally.

      • Expectant Mother February 20, 2013 at 9:20 AM

        Very true. Until you walk a path please don’t judge people who have.

    • D Fairy GodSister February 19, 2013 at 11:19 AM

      I loved this. I really did.

    • Gracie February 19, 2013 at 11:36 AM

      Am glad i waited for almost 2yrs without any man in my life to set my preference right, be true to know what i want and prayerfully waiting for “my God-sent” man’s arrival. Now, he is here!! A young highly intelligent and God-fearing man. He doesn’t have all the rosy things in life like a car and a posh apartment but he sure has an achievable dream that is similar to mine. He never makes me feel like the “weaker vessel” no matter how stupid my scrutiny sounds. He is more of a homely and family focused person. I know i will enjoy my youthful to older years with him. He proposed and i said Yes, we walking down the aisle soon. Everybody has the right to their choice of life and partner that is why when it turns out all murky they bear it all as no one can know how much the shoes pinches except the wearer. SET YOUR PRIORITIES RIGHT AND GO FOR IT WHATEVER YOUR OUTCOME BEAR IT ALONE AFTER ALL IT WAS YOUR OWN VERY DECISION. Peace!!!!

    • alice February 19, 2013 at 11:40 AM

      word …

    • Toya February 19, 2013 at 11:42 AM

      she makes sense,her point is she is happy right nw even if she’s aware its jst for a while, but she is grateful she experienced such with sm1.yes she might not end up with another Rob*she’s nt even expecting to* but @lst she had a Rob in her life. nice i totally like .*PURE HONESTY*

    • Priscy February 19, 2013 at 11:44 AM

      Biko People it’s just fiction. Although this happens in real life here…her parents no be naija parents o, coz no naija parent go come to terms with the fact that your daughter is dating a man old enough to be her dad and they even welcome him in their home. LaiLai

      • ihuoma February 20, 2013 at 11:38 AM

        e go shock you! Reach PH first and see with ur eyes.

    • lala February 19, 2013 at 11:48 AM

      Nene, I love you for that statement jare. What next? you will still have to start afresh with your friends and everyone you once cared for and vise versa. Omo, if you ask me, that’s a whole lot harder than all the things you’ve acquired. truth be told there will also be another who will readily be available. you ain’t the special one …

    • lala February 19, 2013 at 11:49 AM

      I meant *ALWAYS

    • Retrochic February 19, 2013 at 12:04 PM

      @Priscy are u living in the clouds, FYI, money talks and bull shit happens, i knw many poverty stricken families, that will embark on 4o days dry fasting for a Rob to snatch there daughter and save thier situations, money can change almost anything

    • Teniola February 19, 2013 at 12:29 PM

      Funny piece, but everyone seems to be forgetting one part she wrote. One of her friends tried to snatch him, if it was your boyfriend, he will chop and clean mouth, but Rob called her immediately after it happened to tell her about it. GBAM!!!!! You have to admit, that part was soooooooo correct, it had me laughing and nodding my head. As long as she is happy. Many of us go through shit with young nigerian men, and as she wrote, the shit has no renumeration. A friend of mine says, if I will be miserable, I rather cry in a bmw than cry in a danfo. All na cry. Lol. What’s important or noble to you, is iranu to someone else, it doesn’t make you better than her, you just have different priorities. Your background and family life, has probably given you the ability to have a choice, or seek out love first. If you can’t see that, you are livinlass bubble. “Girls” from not so well off homes have seen suffering, and they sure don’t want to walk in the footsteps of their mothers, especially if they are bleSsed with beauty and the body to go with it. Abi what is Donald Trumps Melania doing with Donald. So it is not only in Nigeria, it is all over the world. As long as she is not your daughter or sister, kinda mind your business. Lol

      • Molly February 19, 2013 at 6:09 PM

        Thank you my dear! you spoke my mind

    • adara February 19, 2013 at 12:33 PM

      iLike at omo1′s comment. Totally correct and sad too

    • Teniola February 19, 2013 at 12:43 PM

      Before you berAte her and say she is using him for his money, classic female bashing. The man too nko, what is he using her for? In this relationships, nobody is the mugu. They are both using each other. Such types of relationships you hav to admit are the most honest. They are more honest than the relationships you and I have. Everything is laid bare on the table, no pretenses, no lies oach party knows what they are in the relationship for. I am not backing such relationships or praising it, don’t get me wrong, but I’m analysing it different from the regular, a e5 year old is dating a 60yr old man. To those who said he is married, erm, a white man at that age is very likely divorced. Like I said before, just as with runs girls, they know what they are in for, its a business agreement. The man is no more the mugu than she spending her youthful years with him. Symbiosis. He gains, she gains. Its what happens after the 5year contract is over, that I’ll like to see. The nigerian men she scoffs at, will be jejely waiting for her, to come down from her high horse. So she’ll either go with Rob to his country, or find another expatriate to settle with. Hey, not all of them are old. There’s one delicious hottie I used to work with. The fear of my dad disowning me, made me apply the brakes. You don’t start something you can’t finish. When white men, especially the younger ones hook up with a black woman, they are usually in it for love and the long haul. I can’t shout, I love me daddy too much to break his heart. I’m the only girl

    • Fifi February 19, 2013 at 1:11 PM

      First and foremost, some of you have to realize this is just fiction. I won’t deny that I haven’t prejudged girls I see with foreign men, but whether they are questionable (as in their choice or action) or not, it’s the life they have chosen and they are aware of what they signed up for. Let every man sew his clothes where it is torn. And please before posting your comment, read through to ensure that you don’t kill people here with blunders. Thanks :*

      • Q February 19, 2013 at 2:47 PM

        I totally agree with you fifi, different strokes for different folks

    • Tiki February 19, 2013 at 1:14 PM

      A few years back, a close friend of mine started going out with a 65-year old white guy. I have to admit this strained our relationship – like most other people out there, I was a bit sick at the thought that this was a cliché relationship, and by fraternising with her I’d be branded ‘that kind of girl’. However, after seeing the way the guy treats her, how happy she is and how her life has changed for the better, everyday I thank God for blessing my friend with that guy. Thanks to him she now owns two businesses and is a respected businesswoman, has acquired land, is the proud mother of a beautiful baby girl, and most of all, she is HAPPY! God’s ways are not our ways – do not reject God’s blessings, simply because He has not packaged them the way you want.

      • Omo1 February 19, 2013 at 8:13 PM

        I guess it still boils down to the material gains?!..but guess what there are dozens of cool eligible YOUNG Nigerian guys who can do all this and much more for their wives. I’m not outrightly ruling out the idea of marrying a white older man, but to view it as something over the top just cos of their color and what we think we stand to achieve?! My opinion, I’ll rather marry a fin young Nigerian dude whom I’ll grow old with cos YES there are a lot of them here in Naija! If it happens you have not found one then its just your luck. Just my opionion but then whatever works for anyone, let’s just not make a biggy out of it

    • Tarry17 February 19, 2013 at 1:28 PM

      I married a Nigeria young and extremely handsome man that treats me far above what you just described Rob does for you. We ar even married without kids yet but i still get the same treatment as was when we were dating. Need i say even more, I dont need to cough twice before my hubby comes rushing to know what the matter is, he rubs my feet even though both of us just arrived from a tedious days job.. He corrects me in a loving way on my “H” factor and applauds my success. I use to earn more than him but u will nvr know. From what i discovered…. i married my best friend. When will you start the friendship then get married when you are locked with 60yr old Rob. At the end of your contract, you will see me with my loving paddy and wished you ar in my place. Then time has come for you to rush the marriage, which means anything goes. You end up with one useless man and term it “Nigerian men are worst lovers” Focus on what you want and you will get it. Stop deceiving yourself. Your great future starts NOW!!!

      • Mz Socially Awkward... February 20, 2013 at 4:15 PM

        Soooooo…. she’ll look at you and wish she was in your place? Really… what if she ends up with a GOOD HUSBAND (yes, had to type in caps so we can capture what you’re really selling here)… where was I? Yes, what if she ends up with a GOOD HUSBAND who’s even 100 times better than yours? Who’ll be envying who, in that unexpected scenario??

        For the sake of all things sane please take this message home with you today – the Lord doesn’t have a one-size-fits-all package for everyone. If the (very fictional) character in the story found herself single one day and God blesses her with an amazing husband… or actually, if there’s a girl you already know to be in a similar or relatable kind of relationship who ends up marrying some very correct specimen of a GOOD HUSBAND tomorrow… please don’t lose sleep over it. Because from what I’ve heard, God causes His rain to fall over all of us, including the girls-who-dated-white-men, the girls-who-did-runs and the self-proclaimed-good-girls alike, just because of His infinite mercies.

      • Alice February 26, 2013 at 2:51 PM

        Thank you so much Tarry, for those inspiring words……………

    • John February 19, 2013 at 2:30 PM

      I’m just amazed at this girls’ thought process. Yes, I know the story might be fiction, but stories are usually based on one’s surroundings and life experiences. The girl in the story comes up with all these excuses to justify her poor choices in my opinion. And then she goes on to tell us how she learned how to eat with fork and knife. Like @None said, these are manners you pick up from a good home upbringing. You don’t need a 65 year old white man to teach you how to hold a fork and a knife. Why don’t she just come out and advertize that she is a call girl that only does long term contracts. Does she think that her community won’t know what she’s been up to when all is said and done? And if she follows Rob back to Europe, there’s no good ending in that. I’ve heard of many Robs, who came to Nigeria to work and end up taking one of these girls back to their home countries. They never marry the Nigerian girl and they don’t have children with them because Rob already has children. When the girl turns 40 or so, Rob will dump her for someone younger. At that time, the Nigerian woman is left with nothing – no money and no children.

      I’m also in disbelief at some of the comments by other women on this forum – most think her behavior is okay, it’s a choice. For instance, Teniola thinks that her relationship is more honest than the average Nigerian relationship. Why isn’t Teniola in one of these relationships if she so much thinks its okay? She has the fear of her father, which says it all. Where have the values in Nigeria gone? Why is everyone so bent on getting rich even at the expense of debasing themselves? Very sad! Well I have to go do honest work, not like the girl in the story, who is too lazy to do something meaningful for her self.

      • Kike February 19, 2013 at 3:55 PM

        Typical judgy Nigerian attitude. Not surprised, you are male. The relationship being honest, doesn’t mean that one is supporting it, or one can engage in it, or supports it. If you look objectively without being judgemental you’ll see the truth in that statement. You yourself John, tell me you are not the classic Nigerian man, who lies and cheats his way through his relationships, and even kicks it into gear after marriage. Tell me you have been open and honest with all your girlfriends, and they know you are not in the relationship to marry them o. You will just date them for a while enjoy all the benefits, chop and clean mouth and waka to the next person. What values are you talking about, stop being a hypocrite. If we had values, Nigerian men won’t have the tag they have now, so please come down from your high horse. How many Nigerian men have open and honest relatiosnhips, even open and honest marriages. So, before you go all judgy, look at the facts and compare. Personally I won’t do it, but its not up to me what someone does with her life. If you want to judge someone, your basis for judging must be stellar, brilliant white without stain, otherwise you are just another hypocrite. Or the part where shew rote, her friend tried to steal him, and if it was the classic young 9ja guy, he will do the do, and keep quiet, and be running the two girls together, if he can afford it. John, abi that na lie. Mschew

      • tilly February 19, 2013 at 3:55 PM

        Thank you John. Well said. A couple of days back, it was Kim Kardashian’s matter and I didnt even realise she had so many admirers on this blog. Almost justifying her actions (albeit in the past) with “so what, she is making her money”. We are slowly losing our morals.

        • Kike February 19, 2013 at 4:08 PM

          We never had morals. I don’t know where all this talk of morals come from. Our politicians, where did they come from? Mars. Our bigs boys and bigs girls, where did they come from? Uranus. Abi Boko Haram was imported from Jupiter? Lecturers that trade sex for grades came from where? Our civil servants who show up for work at 10am and leave at 2, where did they come from? Which morals. Nigerian married men cheat, cheat, and cheat, please tell me which morals we have. Your best friend will sleep with your boyfriend if you are not looking, and he will gladly allow, which morals. The kidnappers must have grown up in Sodom and Gommorah and imported into Nigeria, since we have morals. The ritual killers too,were imported from Saturn, since we have morals. The agbero’s on the street, the housemaid that will rob you blind, the bank teller that will not count your money complete, where did they grow up? This where are our morals, our morals talk never ceases to amaze me, because we never had them. If we did this country wont have descended into the madness that we have now. people talk about morals as if Nigeria was once Vaticn city, even teh Vatican sef, if you look closely, they have a history of corruption, murder, injustice, I can write for days. A woman is trading her body for years, is the oldest profession in the world, so don’t bring up morals please. Not justifying her actions, she is a product of the environment. She felt that’s the best she can do, oh well too bad, that’s her business. Rob is not complaining. So unless you are a virgin, or married a virgin, (even at that, virginity doesn’t confer holiness or a life without sin) you better keep shut, cos you slept with your partner for a reason, whether emotionsm, love, or the lifestyle you were enjoying, or as a guy, you slept with her for the pleasure. There is always a reason why people do things. Your reason is not better than someone else’s. Morals ko, ruler ni.

      • Teniola February 19, 2013 at 5:00 PM

        Uncle John, biko, is it that you cannot read, or hypocrisy has clouded your brain. In fact this kike person, has said everything I would have said. If you took the time to read, you would have seen that I did not support her actions, I only analysed it differently. I went outside the box, so hold your horses. You just confirmed again, your lack of comprehension, because nowhere did I say I was afraid of my dad so I couldn’t date an old white guy with money. I said not all expatriates are old, there are some young ones too, and I worked with one, he was just 2 years older than me. I’m from a very very comfy home, so my fear was of my dad losing me to a white man, being an only girl. We know how Nigerian parents are, an only girl marrying oyinbo is tantamount to you don loss be that. Lol. So learn to not just read, but understand as well. Okay?

      • Mz Socially Awkward... February 20, 2013 at 4:50 PM

        Oh shut up, John. And yes, I know you have a right to your opinion but now let me speak mine.

        And BN, you berra post this. Let’s begin at the begining, shall we? Is it the poverty in which many families in Nigeria have been forced to live because the country looks to be going to hell in a handbasket? Pray, tell, where is she meant to pick up good table habits? What table habits exist in homes with no tables where both mums and pops are hustling at their market sheds to keep their rusty zinc roof over their heads? We keep yarning dust about so-called “normal upbringing” in Nigeria like we don’t understand how the other 70% of the country lives.

        And, I’m curious, what’s the difference between a call girl who’s boldly upfront about the money and that chick you have a “thing” with where she comes to your crib for “weekend” plays wifey in the kitchen, in the bedroom and in the laundry room? Clarify, please because enquiring minds would like to know. And if you don’t have such a gig going with a chick, do you have friends who’re carrying on in such manner? Female friends?? Do you call them “ashewos”? I mean, since you’re so keen on telling it like it is …

        I’ve also heard of many Nigerian men who swoop down from countries in Europe, North America, Asia, etc pick some unsuspecting chick and takes her back to begin a life of great misery. As a Nigerian man evidently living in Nigeria, surely the wonders you’ve witnessed with your very own eyes have shown you that unfaithful men are not confined to any skin colour.

        And let me close with this… so you who is asking about values, wanting to know where they’ve gone, riddle me this – if some very classy, beautiful, young, well-packaged virgin (yeah, had to go with that, I know how y’all Nigerian men like your virgins) comes into your life and you get engaged but you find out her dad used to be one of those politicians that sucked this country dry and now very well “monied” and also ready to use his connections to not only throw you the wedding of your dreams but also open doors for you, will you call things off or go ahead and give that testimony in your church about how God has finally smiled on you?

        MHMMMMMMMMMMMMM, I thought so. Better do like Jesus adviced and only cast the first stone if you’re absolutely without sin yourself.

    • God loves u more February 19, 2013 at 2:36 PM

      rubbish!!!!!!, all that glitters is not gold……since its a 5yrs contract what next? you move on to the next white man who willl treat u right . then after that the next one .. YOU dont love him , YOU LOVE THE BENEFITS YOU R GETTING FROM HIM….

      • Missy February 21, 2013 at 4:00 PM

        Madam judgemental, read the piece again b4 casting stones.
        “Love? What is your definition of love? Is it being unable to go a minute without thinking of him? Ain’t nobody got time for that! I love Rob in my own way”
        Do u get it nw?

    • OLAH February 19, 2013 at 2:43 PM

      white, green, yellow, blue, 20,30,50,80 does not matter. At the end of the day what kind of person are you becoming? Why are you in the relationship? Where are you heading with your life? You do not need a man to live a life of significance, all you need is a relationship with Jesus.

    • Q February 19, 2013 at 2:46 PM

      Kudo’s to the author, Nice Piece.
      this is prose people need to relax and not take things too personal.
      People look down on others who date older men, and/or white men for that matter, but i think the point of this piece is to say it works for some people, some people are just happy and content with what they have.

    • Toyin O February 19, 2013 at 3:07 PM

      I laughed when I read this….very interesting…while many of these point could be argued against, I understand what this is meant to say….so I’ll just stop n say…isalright! lol

    • ice diva February 19, 2013 at 3:15 PM

      My dear in 3yrs time with all the money u would have grabbed from Rob, when he leaves u will start looking for the so called young boys and sister uyou wont see them. what you are leaving is a fantasy life, a social status that is not your own which you are under the illusion that it is. for the next 3 to 4 relationship you will have after him that will be re-ajustment time. he can afford all that at 60 cos he has put in like 30yrs working hard for that money and the young guy you want to marry wont have that kind of money. The ones with that kind of money won’t want you cos baby your not their class need i say you only learnt to use fork & knief. You may think you are polishe now but trust me you still have a long way to go. All the best now enjoy 3yrs is so close and reality beckons.

      • Nomy February 19, 2013 at 3:36 PM

        Ice diva on maaaaaaaaad point! Leave her to be acting like she has been handed Manna from heaven, In another 2 and half years, Rob will be gone, i do wonder what will become of your Father’s check ups by then, and of course Rob will be in another country learning another girl’s village history!

      • nnenne February 19, 2013 at 3:59 PM

        #gbam

    • jay February 19, 2013 at 3:29 PM

      I wouldn’t be surprised if many naija guys would condemn this girl die….you wont treat a woman right and when she dates someone from another country,u guys would be asking “Didn’t u see anyone here?” Say all you wanna say,my bf is from Ghana and I am proud of him.

    • Chic February 19, 2013 at 3:34 PM

      From the writeup I gather that this girl is either a village girl who had “made it” in Lagos or comes from a very poor family that is why things like distinguishing forks amaze her. Met many of her kind people who have moved up in life usually the poverty mentality moves up with them but in this case it is the unexposed mentality that has moved up with her. My dear there are plenty young guys who do all those things and more it sure sounds like you were dating all the wrong ones before Rob. Not knocking your hustle but your write up could have been better if you hadn’t compared Rob to young Nigerian men asking would your boyfriend do that for you etc They are plenty exposed young Nigerian men who do all these things you are saying so please edit and we may have better comments for you next time.

      • Anon February 20, 2013 at 2:38 PM

        No there aren’t dunce, where do you live and how many of them have you dated?? I hate it when people make ignorant comments ‘just because’. Everyone knows Nig men do not treat their women right, albeit the very small percentage who are an exception. Village my arse. Abeg, you know nothing

      • Mz Socially Awkward... February 20, 2013 at 5:08 PM

        That’s a big laugh. Where dem dey, these “many Nigerian guys who do all that Rob does and more” [to paraphrase you]? Wia dem??

        I was kinda expecting to see comments like this but it still gets my goat when Nigerians pretend they don’t have a mixed bag of crippling social problems in that country. And yes, having an emerging generation of young men who already know to rape girls in secondary school and are inculcated with the belief that the female sex is 2nd class, is a colossal social problem.

        “Plenty of exposed young Nigerian men” my yellow butt. If they’re so exposed, how come they’re keeping multiple girlfriends and lying to them all? And the ones who make statements like “you have to get pregnant before I can marry you”, no be the same school dem go? Please, pull your head out of the sand and open your eyes very wide.

    • jullieth February 19, 2013 at 3:48 PM

      M speechless lemme shout up my big mouth………..

    • konnie February 19, 2013 at 4:34 PM

      and here i am worried abt wat people and most especially my parents wud say when they find out i just accepted a marriage proposal from ma 43year old bf. am 25 and have neva been happier wit any of them young girls….am just worried abt my moms reaction :( really dont wanna hurt her…but deep down in my heart i feel i made d ryt decision

    • konnie February 19, 2013 at 4:35 PM

      and here i am worried abt wat people and most especially my parents wud say when they find out i just accepted a marriage proposal from ma 43year old bf. am 25 and have neva been happier wit any of them young guys ….am just worried abt my moms reaction :( really dont wanna hurt her…but deep down in my heart i feel i made d ryt decision

    • linda enwerem February 19, 2013 at 4:38 PM

      ure a very lucky girl.

    • Kike February 19, 2013 at 5:12 PM

      One is sleeping with a boyfriend she is not married to for love, or feelings or emotions, or whatever, a lot of girls can give reasons why they have sex with their boyfriends they are not married to. Another is sleeping with a man she is not married to for the money and lifestyle he can give her. Please who is better here? I’ll like someone to answer that question. We can all justify our reasons, or look down our noses at people for the actions they take. Your reason/justification is not better than the next person if you are engaging in the same act. So as funny as this piece is, all you commenters had better be lily white virgins. Trading sex for something has been existence since I don’t know when. So this is not new or shocking. You’d be surprised the reasons why some women marry their husbands. I wonder if she was married, if the comments will be the same, because y’all can’t tell me you don’t know at least one person in your life that married for the money the man can provide. Good example, Rita from the Koko mansion and her German consular officer husband. The majority of the coments, were saying congratulations, bla bla bla, you can’t tell me she is not enjoying the same improved lifestyle this woman is. So tell me, how Rita could get congratulations, and people even defending her that she didnt marry for money, and the same commenters are here slagging off someone else. At least this one is honest about it. Lol….

    • Kike February 19, 2013 at 5:14 PM

      *Trading sex for something, whether for love, or its attribute emotions, money, revenge, infidelity, position etc

    • Evilicious February 19, 2013 at 5:14 PM

      I just have one more question for you, is he God’s plan for your life?

    • Kike February 19, 2013 at 5:22 PM

      Her name is not Rita sorry, but Chioma. She is a young girl that came from the Koko Mansion, and she is married to a much older German Diplomat. bellanaija.com/2013/02/02/from-kokolet-to-diplomats-wife-koko-mansions-chioma-akuezue-reportedly-marries-consul-general-of-germany-in-nigeria/

      Please read the comments, and come back here and marvel at the hypocrisy on this post.

    • jyde February 19, 2013 at 6:49 PM

      Damn dis girl is living life O.
      Dats it,i dnt care,im off to find me one korrect 77yrs old rich white granny from deepest rural oyinbo land. Na ten yrs contract betta,she musnt last any longer,as man sef don dey old.
      As long as she get coins.Abi?
      I wonder what people will say,when they see me eating wid chewin stick.
      All na husttle.Nothing spoil.

    • LynnVille February 19, 2013 at 11:04 PM

      Hahahaha…LMAO. See comments of people saying they wish they can get such a contract. Loll, Arit, the author of the story is HAPPILY MARRIED O (to a young guy)! This is just a “STORY”.

      My opinion, every contract comes with a term/duration..after that what next? The article is just a consolation for ladies in those shoes but deep down within them, they desire a happy ending with someone that who will sign a lifetime contract with them. Besides, she had to wait for Rob to come before she packaged herself and now get a job (I laff in swahili; babes this is the 21st century) Read my article on 21st Century Girl; Aim For The Top here lynnville.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/21st-century-girlaim-for-top.html You don’t need any Rob, Tom, John to package you.

      5 years contract, 10 years etc however you choose…you have your choices to make in life but it will be WISE to use your brains and most importantly be on the path of God’s purpose for your life.

    • Remi February 19, 2013 at 11:38 PM

      Evilicious is that name Gods plan 4u , I don’t get y evil is talking abt God ,

    • Lol February 20, 2013 at 3:42 AM

      @konnie….pray and let your parents know,you will be surprised at your mum’s reaction afterall.i have a cousin that was once in that type of situation,after tormenting herself with different thoughts of what her mum’s reactions would be,we were so surprised with the way her mum reacted.Now she’s happily married with 2 kids.If God says he’s the right man,then whatever will be,will be

    • Lbunny February 20, 2013 at 10:55 AM

      All I can say is dat I need me a ROB. I’m tired of ths our men.they r more interested in getting laïd.

      • omapearl February 22, 2013 at 3:13 PM

        bcos many girls r more interested in turning them into ATM Machines…..

    • Laide February 20, 2013 at 1:20 PM

      The problem with this ‘fiction’ isnt a case of age difference or the colour of the skin, to me it’s more thinking a guy is doing you a favour by treating you right and at such you should sing his praises. Yes Rob thought you how to use a fork and knife; but this could have been learnt at home and in this century, google is your friend.
      Ha! I know he won’t marry me but I also know that as long as he is here –(what happened to self worth, you waiting to be someone who wants to be with you longer than a 5 years contact which he pays you for in cash and kind……. In other words long term PROSITUTION, the difference is you have only one customer.)

      I love Rob in my own way, he showed me a way of life that I might never have been introduced to and I will always be grateful for that. – (there was a time we were thought work hard, be diligent and focused and eventually things you believed were out of your reach will be things that functioned in your everyday life)

      I could go on and on dissecting this fiction, but the to me its sad because I am a 29 year old girl who wonders what happened to moral standard. We all say men are bad, they are terrible but do you blame them? We’ve reduced ourselves to nothing, its all about the highest bidder, who can treat us nice and pay the bills. This isn’t about some independent movement, its about knowing your self worth and believing in yourself.

      Life wasn’t easy for me too, I lost my dad at the age of 10, the 4 of 6 children and I saw how with hardwork , sweat and perseverance not forgetting the many tears my mum brought us all up. She always told us girls to value ourselves and sometimes finding a rich man may be the easiest solution but not necessarily the best.

      So to all the people praising her, my question is if this was your daughter, will you be proud of her???

      To each is own…

      Rob took you on exotic trips – is that what defines who you are, is t

    • miss julz February 20, 2013 at 2:08 PM

      ok, so i see lots of judge-mental people here.
      i think they really have never known happiness and i can attribute that to the constant struggle for survival in Nigeria also the poverty level because if you live a normal life, you would really let people do whatever makes them happy.
      Nigerian men or men in general admire a woman who is comfortable in her shoes, if it takes a good man to help you find it, why not?
      i know this is fiction, but can be closely related to reality, so i would so, enjoy yourself my girl, life is short.
      for those of you asking question of what becomes of her?
      her life continues, she becomes a happier woman living life with a positive outlook, only then can she find a husband which she would. moreover you all are not God, and trust me, the will of God gives peace, if this gives you peace then you are on the right track.

    • sj February 20, 2013 at 3:15 PM

      MY BOYFRIEND IS NIGERIAN, HE IS MY AGE AND HE TREATS ME LIKE AN EGG!!!! HE RUBS MY BACK WHEN I HAVE CRAMPS, HE MASSAGES ME EVERYDAY! WE’VE BEEN TOGETHER 4 2YRS AND HE STILL DOES THIS.
      SO NIGERIAN GUYS CAN AND WILL ACT PERFECT! U JUST NEED TO FIND YOUR PERFECT MAN

      • oluwaseun February 22, 2013 at 7:16 PM

        thank you Sj! same here!! i have a Nigerian boyfriend and he treats me just right! a lot of women are not patient enough to find the right man for them. not all Nigerian men are bad.

    • genesis February 20, 2013 at 4:28 PM

      I agree totally wit kike jor.. Let’s stop d hypocrisy

    • Sola February 20, 2013 at 11:27 PM

      You make sense die. I ain’t mad at ya :) I could care less about how other people feel about it or this.

    • Iyanya February 21, 2013 at 3:50 PM

      Local Girl, with all the negative misconception of what a naija guy is. U local thats why u think oyibo is ur god. Open your eyes and realize, there are correct real guys out there.

      2 Many local girls with myopic view of what a naija guy is, its ridiculous!!

    • kimjim February 21, 2013 at 7:35 PM

      Naija guys are’nt all that BAD..Yes, not all are bad! You really need to work on yourself to attract the good ones.
      Going by ur piece, i couldn’t help but conclude that you are the Gold digging type and LOVE means nothing to you. I pity you!

    • omapearl February 22, 2013 at 3:07 PM

      almost all ladies av gone down this lane. some end up bn rich with the guy, others dnt. but here is my qstn. please anybody either male or female can help me with an answer: after all is said and done…. you r now a lady who knows stuff, classy, rich, well read n “accomplished” and u plan to move on to the next one; a naija guy who appreciates an already made woman. WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS NAIJA GUY WILL THINK OF YOU WEN HE FINDS OUT HOW U BECAME “ACCOMPLISHED”. CAN YOU PROUDLY TELL A GUY THIS STORY AND EXPECT HIM TO STILL FALL IN LUV WITH YOU. Listen Arit and those other supporters of her. i am a 21 yr old and talkn abt doing the good, bad and the ugly, i av been there and back. at the end of the day, i am about to be married to a naija guy who appreciates the fact that when my mates where still in that line of life and at my age, you expect me to still do that, i gave my life to Christ and called myself to order. i focused on my education and now, i av a decent job. he luvs me n so does his family. sometimes i hope dt one of my previous mistakes do not end up being his fathers frnds or worse. i have told him all abt me (the truth) but i know that such coincidence would hurt him and will affect the way he sees me… imagine how his family would react…. you could blab to the guy that “it was in your past and you have changed bla bla bla.” but swthrt, the fact that you went an extra mile to publish this piece of shit, will kill your chances with every guy. i am 21. lets assume i av time for misbehaviour bt girlfrnd, u r 25 which means dt you r closer to being (old layer) than me. you will end up alone and one day, you will look back and ask yourself where your so called devilish “accomplishments” have gotten you. your parents also will face the wrath of God for being in support of your self destruction. others who have gone down this road of yours have faced the repercussions n you my dear, will not b an exception….. forget about how pple luk at you and what they have to say and ask yourself some deep questions cos the world can lie to you but you cant lie to yourself. evn if you coat the truth, subconsciously, you will know the real truth…….. a word is enuf for the wise.

      • Iquo July 23, 2013 at 4:39 PM

        Please note that its a story , a work of beautiful art, the piece is FICTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SIMPLY HATE IT THAT SO CALLED “BORN AGAIN, GIVEN MY LIFE TO CHRIST WOMEN” CAN BE SO HYPOCRITICAL. Yes, you lived a “terrible”lifestyle and at the time you commented on the article you were 21. The fact you had those “experiences” does not give you the right to JUDGE anyone. As you speak you are not perfect, you are not whole and the “life” you gave over to God is so marred (let’s grant you the benefit of doubt that you are “born again”) and if you ARE born again, I wonder if you did so by your actions of piety and critique of the “un-bornagain” . Its people like you that darken the Way for others to walk on. If people live lifestyles that are not morally/politically correct, do their actions it stop them from being who they are today or will be in the future? An emphatic No! You are married, praise Jehovah for your life but are you equipped for the challenges of marriage? Little woman,the girl in the article is 25; Take time to remove the log in you eye before you attempt removing the perceived sliver in someone else’s eye… Remember It’s just a story not an autobiography and even if it is an autobiography, do you think the main character in the story or the author, Arit Opko gives a hoot about what you think? ….”wink”

    • Dolly February 23, 2013 at 3:08 AM

      lol! There is a word for this… “Ashewo!” Plain and simple.
      But Ashewo has its benefits I guess. I don’t know.

    • birdieblue February 23, 2013 at 10:18 PM

      Wow where to begin. My thoughts while reading the article were, in chronological order:
      1. eeeww this is close to the age difference between daddy and I.
      2. Ok after five years what next?
      3. Oh my gosh her parents know about him? chai!! poverty oh!
      4. Well at least she’s investing her finances wisely.
      5. Mmm does she even love the guy?
      I came to the conclusion that she obviously thinks all Nigerian men are evil scoundrels or expects them to be. Too bad at least there are more good, young Nigerian guys in the market for those of us patiently waiting while bettering ourselves in various endeavors.

    • uche February 24, 2013 at 7:51 PM

      oh well, different strokes for different folks. let’s look at it this way. love, no matter the age can and will always be either for the right or wrng reasons. Guys this is fiction like the author said, albeit IMO, very misleading. I for one have a big dislike for older guys. I mean, we are from different generations. Humans and aliens do’t mix. But then, i’ve learnt to stop condemning people who date older guys. motive is the key word here, if you are dating an older guy for all the reasons listed above, my dear you are a dum-dum, oh and that kind of older Arit is talking about, please my dear just go and marry your grndfather!!! twenty is the max abeg, any guy older than twenty, thats no more aliens from outerspace, iont know for you.
      but then ask yourself very important questions. For me, I’m very competitive, playful, very spirited, very difficult to control. As i’ve observed in older-guy relationship (for want of a better term), they always want to be in charge, you are the child whether you like it or not, and they make 90% of your decisions for you. I cannot be baby’ed around. If you’re not going to be a housewife you better flee from the snares of older guys. because, I can guarantee you, IF you people eventually marry and because we all know that dating an older guy means he is way wealthier than you(or ur father, no insult) you will sooo become a housewife!!! please what happened to your big dreams?? o
      Oh and for once if he was responsible enough, with all the money he has, why is he not married yet??? For me old, unmarried wealthy guys reek irresponsibility oh… oh well, like I said to each man his own :D

    • Poverty is bad o February 25, 2013 at 11:37 AM

      Poverty is bad mehn
      poverty!
      poverty!!
      poverty!!!

      How many times did i call you?
      what have you done to a fraction of my girls?
      You make them do anything, give any kind of justification just to improve their standard of living and status!

      Oh poverty, you are not good
      If i see you on the road, i will fire you over and over again. hahahahha

    • segun February 25, 2013 at 4:28 PM

      Mz socially awkward and aunty kike, No we once had morality. A old man sat me down 1 day and said “I saw railways with trains and real railway workers, I saw schools with good teachers and hospitals with doctors, nurses, good beds and good equipments and lastly he said I saw politicians who re not necessarily devoid of corruption but those who did it do it in hiding and in hush tones”. So yes we once had morality….but that is going away at an exponential rate. Secondly, don’t put the name of God in this morally disturbing article(i know it is a fiction and d@ still doesn’t make it any better) God’s plan for you and errbody here is greater than “a five years contract with a white man” ( any man sef) so don’t tell me that’s God’s package for sum1. IT IS NOT!.
      Thirdly, Yes who gon teach u about table manners….if at 25 you still havnt learn anytin about it (considering this information abundant age), So help you God. Ms awkward, I belong to the 70% u mentioned(tho my mom and dad don’t have SHEDS(am leaving d 70% very soon sha)…..damn! That’s cold)….I wasn’t taught at home, but I felt it neccesary for me to learn it 1 way or the oda
      My conclusion mz awkward and aunty kike ur arguments are ARGUMENTUM AD IGNORANTIAM..buh tis fun sha
      And don’t let’s praise sumtin we all know is wrong even if it is sweet….and who told u tis only Nigerian men that cheats *yimu*

    • Gracie February 25, 2013 at 4:36 PM

      Well said @ SJ,”find your perfect man” and @ birdieblue, “I came to the conclusion that she obviously thinks all Nigerian men are evil scoundrels or expects them to be. Too bad at least there are more good, young Nigerian guys in the market for those of us patiently waiting while bettering ourselves in various endeavors.” My opinion, from this piece is that Be the person you want for a partner, work on yourself inside n out, then wait patiently for the right partner watch it the good and the bad will come to you as there is no hiding place for the gold fish, open your eyes wide and make the good choice with your self-esteem in place, God guide you!!

    • Zainab February 26, 2013 at 5:52 PM

      Makes sense somehow but I can’t do it.

    • Alexia February 27, 2013 at 3:39 PM

      I will never judge Aristos again

    • AnonymousM February 27, 2013 at 4:26 PM

      @John, lemme tell u; there’s nothing called morals in Nigeria. Shikena! @Kike, for that comment, i love you. i’m a young girl who’s struggling with a job in lagos, accommodation has been a problem for me. nobody to help financially, everybody i asked for help refused; my state governor refused to pay pensioners(which my father is among), teachers (which my mum is among) have not been paid since january. i’ve begged everybody i could beg for assistance but they would rather spend millions on frivolous things. yes, i know; i could go back to my state but i was in that state for 15months with absolutely nothing to do so i’m holding on to this job. a family friend who is capable of helping me won’t help without me giving him my body. my present relationship (soon to be past relationship tho); oh he’s caring, charming but he’s a liar, a cheat (3 other different girls). pls @John, is it d governor that has refused to pay workers & pensioners that has morals? or the family friend (he’s married o) that wants my body in exchange for money that has morals? or the boyfriend that feels it’s okay to play 4 different girls that has morals? there’s no morals anywhere, biko! now i’m squatting wiv a guy who gave me a month. so what happens after a month? i don’t know! so pls

    • AnonymousM February 27, 2013 at 4:28 PM

      pls DO NOT JUDGE IF YOU HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED WHAT THE PERSON IS GOING THROUGH! If i see my own Rob right now, no wahala. say whatever u want

    • Chris March 1, 2013 at 5:59 PM

      Well, at the end of the day, it is your choice. But personally, I can tell you lack insight. Insight to life, insight to your self-worth. You have reduced yourself to a relationship that is based on “while it last” and not a relationship that is substantial. This is a reflection of how you see your self and your worth NOT a reflection of you engaging yourself in something that makes you happy.You need counselling.

    • Mimi March 2, 2013 at 5:39 AM

      Hypocrites all over this place. Mscheeeeew!!!!! All for fiction ooo. Its easy to talk big and morals when you are comfortable, you learned how to use different forks in ur house? Hmmmmmm, make una stop to dey lie joor. My parents are very comfortable and i didnt know anything about different forks. I laff in swahili at all those ppl talking plenty about her stand with God. Why not define your own stand first and allow the poor girl live her life as she sees fit (Let he who THINKS he stands take heed lest he falls). Abeg make una free the fictional girl joor. See them foaming in the mouth because she has her Rob, i bet most of you criticising her also wish you had your own Rob. *tongue out*

    • reggy March 4, 2013 at 3:40 PM

      @chris i bet ur so holy that u v nevr don anything siinful in your life, biko leave ma imaginary babe and her rob alone!hoping to c u on the last day in paradise ordawiz… hypocrite!!!!!!!

    • Toyin March 8, 2013 at 8:17 PM

      My problem with this type of articles, whether non fiction or fiction is the praise of foreign men, white men. Black women in general, African, caribbean, black American women are forever implying that white men treat them better or are better in whatever. And, the praise or credit a black woman gets just because she’s with a non black man is interesting. If the fiction man is an African man, it will be a different ball game. He will be called “sugar daddy” and the girl will probably receive more negative backlash. So, because she’s with an older white man, it’s all good.

    • Iquo July 23, 2013 at 4:20 PM

      Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! That really is a piece… more than a mouthful to chew on.

    • Iquo July 23, 2013 at 4:45 PM

      Please note that its a story , a work of beautiful art, the piece is FICTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SIMPLY HATE IT THAT SO CALLED “BORN AGAIN, GIVEN MY LIFE TO CHRIST WOMEN” CAN BE SO HYPOCRITICAL. Yes, you lived a “terrible”lifestyle and at the time you commented on the article you were 21. The fact you had those “experiences” does not give you the right to JUDGE anyone. As you speak you are not perfect, you are not whole and the “life” you gave over to God is so marred (let’s grant you the benefit of doubt that you are “born again”) and if you ARE born again, I wonder if you did so by your actions of piety and critique of the “un-bornagain” . Its people like you that darken the Way for others to walk on. If people live lifestyles that are not morally/politically correct, do their actions it stop them from being who they are today or will be in the future? An emphatic No! You are married, praise Jehovah for your life but are you equipped for the challenges of marriage? Little woman,the girl in the article is 25; Take time to remove the log in you eye before you attempt removing the perceived sliver in someone else’s eye… Remember It’s just a story not an autobiography and even if it is an autobiography, do you think the main character in the story or the author, Arit Opko gives a hoot about what you think? ….”wink”

    • Iquo July 23, 2013 at 4:47 PM

      @omapearl Please note that its a story , a work of beautiful art, the piece is FICTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SIMPLY HATE IT THAT SO CALLED “BORN AGAIN, GIVEN MY LIFE TO CHRIST WOMEN” CAN BE SO HYPOCRITICAL. Yes, you lived a “terrible”lifestyle and at the time you commented on the article you were 21. The fact you had those “experiences” does not give you the right to JUDGE anyone. As you speak you are not perfect, you are not whole and the “life” you gave over to God is so marred (let’s grant you the benefit of doubt that you are “born again”) and if you ARE born again, I wonder if you did so by your actions of piety and critique of the “un-bornagain” . Its people like you that darken the Way for others to walk on. If people live lifestyles that are not morally/politically correct, do their actions it stop them from being who they are today or will be in the future? An emphatic No! You are married, praise Jehovah for your life but are you equipped for the challenges of marriage? Little woman,the girl in the article is 25; Take time to remove the log in you eye before you attempt removing the perceived sliver in someone else’s eye… Remember It’s just a story not an autobiography and even if it is an autobiography, do you think the main character in the story or the author, Arit Opko gives a hoot about what you think? ….”wink”