Toby Nwazor: Forget New Year Resolutions & Try These 5 Life Tips

Every New Year offers us that chance to start afresh. Or at least we believe so. (Let’s face it; the New Year’s Day is just an ordinary day with no cosmic powers to effect any special change to anything or anyone.)

You see, one major thing I like about the New Year is the promise of a fresh start, a new beginning. A second or third or twentieth or fiftieth chance (depending on where you are).

However, one thing I don’t like about New Years is that phrase called New Year resolution. What could be more frustrating than knowing deep down within you that this is probably going to be the 5th or 15th New Year resolution you have made without keeping any. Yeah, I know how it feels, quite depressing at times.

Personally, I got frustrated with making New Year resolutions in my 20th year. I was very sincere to myself. I knew from past records that I won’t keep them.

I mean, statistics have even proved that more than 78% of New Year resolutions do not survive the fifteenth day of January, so why bother? Maybe you are among the 22% percent who keep theirs, well, Kudos to you. When I grow up, I wish to be like you.

Most of us on the other hand feel like ‘hey, why go through the hassle of doing something that will make me feel disappointed with me’.

You know that feeling of being a failure? It sucks, right? So why bother disappointing yourself again? Why set rules you are convinced you will break?

Why not just lower the standards a little bit more. At least when, you fail, you won’t be all that disappointed. Come on, give me a break. My father usually says that, “he that is down needs fear no fall.”

How conveniently true!

I mean, irrespective of that euphoric feeling that comes with the New Year and the accompanying resolutions, you still know that you cannot resist that extra bite of chocolate.

Sound familiar? Welcome to the club. Been there, done that.

But then, why do we usually fail? Here’s why: many of us make resolutions that rely on our willpower to make us keep them.

Guess what? Our willpower isn’t strong enough to carry us through most of these resolutions.


Willpower is like a pushing force. It seems like a drag at times, and it can only last for so long.

Maybe in your New Year resolution, you say stuff like: “I am not going to eat junk food this year”. Or “I am not going to smoke again”, or “I am not going to club again”.

When you say so, you are sending a message to your subconscious mind about something you don’t like, and your will power comes to play.

There is nothing attractive about any of that. Psychologically speaking, the more you make such resolutions, the more you are prone to fall for them. You see, according to the law of attraction, we attract what our mind dwells on.

Unfortunately, when you say you will quit smoking, the subconscious mind starts to picture you smoking, because the words “can’t”, “don’t”, etc doesn’t make any meaning to it.

Instead of your willpower, maximize the force of attraction. So, to make your resolutions work, do these instead:

Visualize and Write Down What You Desire
To be more effective, make your resolutions in terms of what you desire. For instance, instead of saying “I will not beat my wife again”, say, “I will be a loving husband to my wife”.

Instead of saying, “I will stop eating junk food”, say, “I will start eating nourishing food”. Saying these helps you create a picture of what you want in your mind. Allow that beautiful picture to pull you towards itself.

But don’t stop there, write them down. Better still create pictures out of them. You can make a vision board with a picture of a slimmer you for instance.

Believe What You Saw Is Possible
If you don’t believe the future you pictured, you cannot be featured in that future. (chai see rhyme). Get convinced in your heart that those things you visualized can become a reality.

Say Them
If you are crazy enough to talk about the future you have seen, then you have gotten very close to seeing that future in the present. So, take a step further, and read out these things you wrote down daily. While you are at it, visualize them and allow yourself to ‘feel’ it.

Make sure you tell someone about it too. This helps keep you responsible and committed to your resolution.

Form New Habits
There are no great men anywhere. All we have are ordinary men with great habits. Begin to form new habits around the future you have visualized. It is not enough to do something; you must get to the point where you do something EVERYDAY until it becomes a part of you.

We are creatures of habits, and your habit is the reason you are where you are now. If you want to move, simply change your habit.

So what future did you visualize? What future do you wish to attract? Be honest and write down those things you need to do EVERYDAY to get to that future.

For instance, you may need to start saving #1000 from your income every day. You may need to alight from the bus 500 metres before you get to your office, and walk down EVERYDAY. You may need to buy a bottle of water the next time you feel like taking a soft drink EVERYDAY.

Repeat, Until it becomes a Reality.
Don’t give up along the way. It won’t be easy un-forming a habit that took you 20 years to form and forming a new one. But make up your mind that whatever habits you have decided to form, you will stick to it until you see your future become a reality.

It is a new year my people, and the journey has started again. How you begin determines how you end to a large extent. So buckle up friends and get set to take off.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

14 Comments on Toby Nwazor: Forget New Year Resolutions & Try These 5 Life Tips
  • Bade January 15, 2016 at 10:59 am

    On point.

  • January 15, 2016 at 11:42 am

    This is why I always look forward to your articles – Interesting as always.

    • Toby Nwazor January 15, 2016 at 4:36 pm

      Thanks. You are the reason I still write even when I don’t feel like it

  • jade January 15, 2016 at 11:50 am

    I made a resolution to cut out carbs, and im keeping it, i havent had any carbohydrates related meal, subsisting on only beans, fish, chicken and moi moi, i intend to add unripe plantain and lots of smoothies. I solve my soda cravings with well made zobo, so win win for all

    • Lola23 January 15, 2016 at 12:42 pm

      Carbs are actually needed as part of a healthy balanced diet as they provide you with energy .. instead you should maybe reduce your carb intake. For example carbs only for lunch ( as this gives your body time to process it throughout the day) , or instead of 2/3 spoons of rice only have one. The other problem is , once you introduce carbs back in to your diet .. you run the risk of adding on all the weight you lost rather quickly .. ( i’m assuming you cut out carbs to lose weight , i apologise if i am wrong ) ..

    • Africhic January 15, 2016 at 1:17 pm

      Sorry to burst your bubble. Beans has carbs, perhaps your resolution was to cut out simple carbs.

    • Zomii January 15, 2016 at 2:06 pm

      That’s awesome! But darling you need natural carbs, only protein isn’t good enough. You need it all but in the right proportions.
      Big ups though!

    • Toby Nwazor January 15, 2016 at 4:37 pm

      That’s great Jade. Means you are one of those 22% we are talking about. I admire your tenacity jare. Thumbs up

  • Edu January 15, 2016 at 11:51 am

    Aiit bro!

  • Lola23 January 15, 2016 at 12:44 pm

    Great article.. i agree with visualise and write down your desire .. Something about having my goals written down that gives me that extra push !! I hope you all achieve everything you set out to achieve this year

    • Toby Nwazor January 15, 2016 at 4:35 pm

      Yeah you are right Lola, it is motivating. Reading them pushes you towards taking action even without you planning to do so deliberately. For instance, one of my visualized plans for the year is to do a lot of public speaking. I wrote it down and started picturing it. I made some plans, but I was stalling.

      Well, yesterday, the special adviser to my governor on youth mobilization organized a seminar. Reluctantly I attended. First of all, when it was time for interactions and networking, I went straight to him and introduced myself. He got impressed – Ist point!

      Secondly, they organized a mini-competition on “What contribution I can make to make my state better” and I jumped at it. Right there in the presence of a team of special advisers, special assistants, a commissioner, and some other high ranking officials, I delivered a wonderful speech that got all of them applauding.

      I got a gift at the end and exchanged contacts before leaving. Nothing has happened yet, but I am being optimistic. Those guys are definitely gonna call me back.

  • Romney January 15, 2016 at 5:12 pm

    “Chai see rhyme”

  • She January 15, 2016 at 7:23 pm

    What people don’t seem to understand is that most times change don’t happen overnight. There are stages and it’s important for one to where he stands to know where he’s going. Posted about it previously, will post it now in case it helps anyone out there.

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