Ugochi V. Ukah: I Like to Call… You Prefer to Text! What Gives?

dreamstime_xl_25013691Whether it is friendship or a boy-girl relationship, every type of relationship requires communication and when you are not able to meet face-to-face, we resort to other means such as the use of mobile phones. When it comes to phone usage, some people prefer to text or chat via WhatsApp, BBM etc. all day long while some prefer to call. I fall under the latter category but I have some friends who looove to text!

So I have this particular friend whose texting habit frustrates me sometimes. For instance, she would send a text asking me about specific details for an event that we might be planning and because the details might be too long to text, I would try to call her to explain. Instead of picking up, she would cut the call and type “please text.” So I would respond with “Why? Are you too busy to speak now?” and her reply would be “No but just text.” At that point, I would start calling her again and she would continue to cut the calls whilst sending me more messages. And then I would not respond to her messages until she either calls back or somehow we figure out what our plans are.
“How can you prefer phone calls to texting?!” She always asks me whenever we meet up.
“Because calling is easier!”
“How please? Text message is more straightforward”
“With phone calls, one can speak quicker…” and this is how our silly arguments would begin again.
Obviously, she thinks that I am weird but apparently, I think just the same about her.

There are many reasons why I think phone calls are great and these include:

• It makes getting to know someone new easier
My cousin says that whenever she meets a guy, she prefers to chat with him for a long time before moving to phone calls. Her standpoint was that she would be less shy and be able to type out whatever she felt like saying. In that way, she could say more about herself and also ask him more direct questions. Therefore, one can know more about her via texting and chatting. For me, this is the exact opposite as I do not think that anyone can know me via texting partly because if you do not know someone, one can easily misconstrue the meaning of a sentence.
The tone or emotion used to relay a sentence is very important as it is difficult to decipher whether certain messages are jokes or serious.

Although emoticons were invented to help out, I personally think it becomes redundant when one keeps adding a smiley to every line. I also do not think that writing ‘LOL’ or ‘LMAO’ makes things any better because half of the time I use those, I am not even smiling or close to laughing.

To be honest, I use these acronyms mostly when I have barely read the chat or text as I have come to realise that they are almost always safe responses to anything. I’ve been caught a few times though where the guy would ask why I laughed and then I would be forced to read the entire chat and make up a story explaining why I thought his message was funny or how it reminded me of something funny.

Also, it is highly unlikely for me to pour out personal information about myself via SMS/chat to anyone, when I know that it can easily be saved. This is not to say that I have anything to hide or that I am ignorant of phone call recording. However, I think that whether or not the other party plans to use your information, any messages sent via text or chat would remain on the phone unless the other person deletes it, unlike phone calls, whereby it would only be saved if the other person really wanted to record it. Besides, personal information is called so for a reason; even if they are not shameful, you don’t really want them in public. Thus, I disagree that chatting will be a good way to know more about a person like me.

• Less time
Unlike messages, phone calls require less greetings and less wait time for responses. For example, if I wanted to ask for a favour or a quick question via SMS, I would have to start with greetings like “Hello, it’s me. How are you?” and wait for the other party to reply before I continue with “I was wondering if…blah blah!” However, with a phone call, I can just say “how far?” and without asking too many health questions, delve into my question of interest.I also feel like SMS/chats don’t seem as urgent as a phone call and so the receiver might not reply immediately.

• Less money
While it might seem ironical that a call would cost less than SMS, it actually does, unless it is just a single text message. This is because each text would cost you money whereas phone calls are charged per minute. So if you talk just as fast as I do, you can deliver messages within two minutes that may have required 10 text messages back and forth. Even if you are using BBM or WhatsApp, mobile data can go really quickly with chatting depending on your type of phone and network subscription.

• Less screen stare
Chatting requires starring at your phone to read and reply. I do not know about you but my eye doctor does not recommend too much staring at bright light and so I try to avoid it. Thus, whenever I find myself in a long chatting conversation, I just click the call button to round things up.

• Finger discomfort
Similar to the screen stare, my fingers tend to feel numb or uncomfortable after chatting for a long time. And yes, I use a touch screen phone but still I get really tired. I’d rather save up my typing strength for my office work than use it all up on chats or SMS.

• Multi-tasking
I find that it is easier to do other things while speaking on the phone than when chatting. For instance, I could be reading something at the same time, putting on my make-up, dressing up or I could even put my mouth piece on and do the dishes instead of using my two hands to reply to every message.

Having listed all of these above, it is not a surprise that I barely chat or reply via SMS unless I am in a place where I really cannot speak at that moment. Therefore, I have no plans to change my preference for phone calls anytime in the nearest future. And no, it is not because I like to hear myself speak as I have been wrongly accused of a few times, rather it is because I believe in expressing myself effectively to build a strong relationship.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

29 Comments on Ugochi V. Ukah: I Like to Call… You Prefer to Text! What Gives?
  • kinda awkward March 18, 2016 at 7:23 pm

    My friend sounds exactly like your friend and yes, he thinks I’m weird. However, I believe the only reason we prefer calling to texting(your epistle notwithstanding) is that we love to chatter. Ain’t nothing wrong with that so own it.

    You love to chatter.

    • Asake March 18, 2016 at 10:39 pm

      Team text please. I only pick calls if I’m mentally prepared to talk to the person.
      And most times for me, call are unnecessary. Please, don’t call me to just check up on me. Text me. Akward much ?

  • ijs March 18, 2016 at 8:16 pm

    I hate it when a new guy likes to bbm n watsapp instead of calling. It doesn’t show enough interest and I like to be chased. My response is to read and not respond or send a smiley.

  • californiabawlar March 18, 2016 at 8:49 pm

    I text most of my friends before calling…a simple, Hey! can you talk? or Can I call? always helps me know if I’m intruding on something important. Texting is cool if the conversation is casual…and when it comes to important stuff, I call and then text the details so that way you can put the message in proper context.
    As for grownass men that only text because they lack the emotional maturity to have a proper conversation, well it’s all fun and games until you’re a baby daddy texting important conversations about your child’s life, custody and financial support to your child’s mother. That’s the situation my friend is in, her baby daddy has been texting her for weeks…call? mba!
    With dating o, I tend to see men who refuse to speak on the spot as shady…you know how you can compose anything and take your time to edit your thoughts when it’s a text? In a conversation, when you get excited you just let some things slip. That or you’re with another woman. shrugs

    • Ayoka March 18, 2016 at 9:14 pm

      @californiabawlar I agree with everything u said. As for me, some people I love to talk to. Some people I prefer to text because they talk too much and cannot do short calls.
      I am like the writer’s friend – I will reject your calls if I know you talk too much.. I expect you to soji like I would that this person is unavailable and send a text.
      I have an acquaitance that will call. Say I don’t pick .. she leaves a voicemail saying this is me calling, call me back. She calls in another 5 mins and leaves another VM saying this is me calling, call back. She might call 10 times within 1 hr and leave the same shitty VM. If you are like person, stop it. It is voice bullying. Will it kill you to send a text saying hey I want to talk to you about so so so? Or leave a proper voicemail giving me a preview of what you want to talk about.

    • Tosin March 19, 2016 at 6:42 am

      I sort of do neither, lol. Unless there’s a purpose. If it’s really serious, we meet up.

    • Ope March 19, 2016 at 8:56 am

      Cali bawlar,saying hi. jaroil@gloworld.blackberry.com

  • leon March 18, 2016 at 8:57 pm

    hello

  • B March 18, 2016 at 9:27 pm

    I totally agree with your write-up. I dislike chatting so much no matter how close we are. I so dislike guys that would rather chat than call me, it’s so annoying. I am that friend that would call immediately I sense chatting with you will take time. I had rather talk for an hour on the phone than chat. Maybe that’s why I could not comprehend why this guy I was liking and who claimed he loves and was into me would rather chat all day than talk to me on the phone. I love to talk than chat and I couldn’t be wasting my credit on someone who won’t. I can’t deal abeg. So for the next guy, NO BBM pin and I am not giving out my whatsapp number. I just had to vent please.

  • Odididi March 18, 2016 at 9:57 pm

    I can message u all day long if I’m free. I hate phone calls! I’m usually never in the mood for one unless they are calls from my sisters. I don’t like when ppl try to detect my mood from the tone of my voice during a call. I also hate fake laughs and all. Dnt call me biko

    • Eziokwu! March 19, 2016 at 12:56 am

      I totally hate phone calls. They can be so intruding. Literally upset my inner peace. I hate silence during phone calls. And you better don’t call to check on me or to just hear my voice. If it’s idle talk, you better text and let me decide if I have your time.

  • Ta March 18, 2016 at 10:13 pm

    Lol pple r rly diffrnt n dts wht makes life intresting I supoz. Pele to d “callers”, textng/chattn is preferable to me, am nt so gud wt calls. Usually wryt dwn d pple to call fr d week n I commend myslf anytym I do. As fr rships, I call n pick d call (by d way I hv tym limits fr calls) n whn we get ‘comftable/confirmed’ I relax n continue my chat/text. Dere r cmplaints atyms frm famly/frnds n changing small small,bt prefer my chat/text to calls

  • frank teacher March 18, 2016 at 10:16 pm

    Team-texting
    I mean, personally, I’m witter doing written(typed) words…
    Besides, i like a reference, not all f us have recorders rolling in our brains

  • Moxie March 18, 2016 at 10:35 pm

    I absolute prefer to text and don’t like to talk though I am a parrot. I think everyone should do what works for them. There is no good or bad way of communicating. I have personally found out that texting helps me check my emotions which may be just all over with a call.

  • Majestic March 18, 2016 at 11:15 pm

    Texting gives me more time to process my thoughts…Calling has its time sha..esp for serious issues…
    And besides, texting lets me get away with “lol”..?

  • T2 March 18, 2016 at 11:34 pm

    Ain’t got all time for calls.If you don’t feel like texting then forget it.Time is so precious for me to waste it on unproductive conversation…For any quality conversation needs a date (on our free time tho).

  • Daybreak March 19, 2016 at 1:53 am

    i like to do both. but it depends on our relationship i have with u. very close family and friends, i prefer calls. bobo too, calls preferably. all others, text or whatsApp biko. we not there yet!

  • Tosin March 19, 2016 at 6:50 am

    what i don’t flow with: the open-ended text or chat opener…like someone would say hi. then how are you. then what’s up. we won’t even reach what’s up. if there’s a point get to it.
    i also don’t flow with the phonecall in which you whine about us not phoning blah blah. yes i love you too we’re phoning now say something.

    chat apps are good for collaborating say at work, tbh i only used them when i worked at such a place – small company/startup. otherwise na once a year i dey chat lol.
    cell phones are not my thing can’t stand the immediately immediately aspect, not everything is an emergency.
    texts are good, drop the one text, i’ll answer with the one text, end.

    it’s hard keeping up with all the kinds of communication in the world joo.

    • sigh March 19, 2016 at 11:31 am

      This is so me, I dropped my comment before seeing this.

  • BadtSharpGuy March 19, 2016 at 9:37 am

    I so like to call btw texting is boring… there is this girl I just meet I would call like a 1000times she no go pick I used to think she was cocky nd rude until I texted her. Tho She replies really quick and seems to enjoy it I knew we weren’t going anywhere cos am not dat kinda guy. I thought I was d only weirdo alive when I call my boys and @ the end of the conversation they be like ”Why Uno ping I think say u wan talk something serious.” huh!

  • Adjiringano March 19, 2016 at 10:09 am

    I can tell from your ‘short hand’ that you like to text.

  • sigh March 19, 2016 at 11:28 am

    I simply hate long conversations be it text or call. If I sense you wanna talk much, I will simply come up with an excuse and end the call, or type brb and disappear. I hate it when people can’t go straight to the point either.

  • fan March 19, 2016 at 12:14 pm

    I can easily express my feeling on text,because I’m a shy person.I can be romantic on text but shy to say it out.

  • Fola Coco March 19, 2016 at 1:25 pm

    Texting,Chatting,Calling etc whatever rocks your boat,as long as we/you are communicating that’s all that matters. If u are dating a man who isn’t into chatting(whatsapp/bbm) or texting and prefers phone call conversations. Then that’s the way you have to roll,understanding what mode of communication our friends,family,spouse etc have preference for makes life easier..

  • audiee March 19, 2016 at 7:39 pm

    Well I guess its in our blood,I just like calls. I’d text when I’m not busy and I’m bored or when you aren’t picking my phonecalls. Text\chats are just too long and tirey

  • Ope March 19, 2016 at 8:17 pm

    Biko,anyone in the states that has info about garcinia Kola market? Asking for a friend

  • khadijat March 20, 2016 at 9:20 am

    I LIKE:
    (1)Boyfriend: Call 100% and Text Chat 100%
    (2)Family(mum, sister, brothers): Call anytime and text anytime, I love you!
    (3)Friends: Call for serious issues and text for flimsy.
    (4)Work mates who are not friends: Call and get straight to the point or text and get straight to the point.
    (5)Boy I don’t like:

    If I don’t really like you I get irritated most especially when called; it spoils my whole mood, I have OCD which makes the irritation even worse.

    However if I love you– I can’t wait to hear from you.

  • June April 2, 2016 at 11:48 pm

    I am very sad and lonely because I don’t often hear my friends voices or see them as they prefer to text and don’t like leaving their houses. I guess they may not really be my friends then. Most of them live only a five minute drive away, even less as we live in a rural town but still, they can’t be bothered. I might get a text once a fortnight.

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