Connect with us


If I Tell You Once, I’ll Nag You Twice

Glory Edozien



Dear all,

My name is Glory Obiajulu Edozien and I am NOT a nag. I am just a woman who happens to know what she wants and wants what she knows.

When I was growing up, I wondered why my mother shouted so much. I would watch her as she entered the house from a long day at work as she still managed to scream at me, the two house helps and my brother all before she put her bag down on the dining table and entered the kitchen. She would then get a glass of water  and complain about how much her head hurt and start shouting at everyone all over again. My dad on the other hand would be in his study watching the news or some other political show blissfully unaware of the verbal war occurring downstairs. At the time I wondered why my mum couldn’t be more like my dad! Surely she too must be interested in the news!

Alas! Now I am older and wiser and I realize that the apple really hasn’t fallen far from the tree. I now see clearly why my darling mother screamed tirelessly at us when we were growing up. Far from what we thought back then, she actually didn’t enjoy shouting. She screamed because we hadn’t done any of the things she had told us to do before she left the house. She was at her wits end because despite telling us to make our beds and do certain chores before she got home, we had either waited till we heard the sound of her car horn at the gate before we hurriedly did them incorrectly or had totally forgotten to do any of them at all.

Today I watch men backbiting about how their wives, partners or girlfriends are such nags. “Must they ‘talk’ about everything”, “they ‘complain’ too much”, “my girlfriend is such a ‘nag’”, they say in a high and lofty manner.

Well ladies, I have come to your defense! Anytime your man calls you a nag or complains about how much you complain, I want you to show him this article.

You see life is made up of both actions and reactions. For everything you do in this life there is usually a response, this is true – whether you realise it or not is a different issue. Generally, we females aren’t mad. We don’t wake up in the morning and start screaming just for the sake of it. We weren’t told that yelling at the top of our lungs makes us beautiful. No! Rather it is you men that are driving us crazy! If I say to you once or twice in the sweetest voice possible, “baby, please could you put the ketchup back in the fridge after you use it” and you don’t. How is it that I am labeled the chief commander for the complaints ministry when you continually fail to do so? Surely if there is anyone with a problem here it is you. Simply put, if you men just did what you were supposed to do, how and when you were supposed to do it, there would be no complaints. Shikenah!

If your wife says “Darling, please put Junior to bed so I can do the washing up” and two hours later you are still watching Match of the Day and Junior has poured water colour all over the rug she just cleaned, you can bet your bottom dollar she will YELL!  If your girlfriend says to you “Baby, you’ve changed, you don’t call me as much” and you don’t start calling her or offer plausible reasons why your calls have decreased and she complains it’s not her fault. It’s YOURS!

What men have to realise is for everything you do to us, we have a response. And no, you don’t get to choose what type of response we give. It is unfair to upset your partner and still expect them to give you a kiss while they explain in a loving voice what you did wrong! When if you had done what we asked in the first place, or told us there and then that there would be a problem doing what we asked, there would be no nagging. So the moral of this article is simple. Next time you are about to call your partner a nag, just try retracing your steps to exactly what you were meant to do…..and you would find that the problem would be easily solved.

We women are really not that difficult to understand. And yes, you can thank me later!

Kind regards,

Glory Edozien

Minister of the Complaints Ministry

Photo Credits:

Glory is the host and executive producer of Inspire Series, the web talk show which uses the collective stories of everyday women to inspire others. She believes women are more than hand bags, hair, make-up and other externalities and is passionate about about pursuing purpose and living above societal conformities. She is also a day dreamer, and romantic at heart who loves TV, food and family. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram @inspiredbyglory and read more from her on


  1. Ginika

    August 11, 2010 at 10:09 am

    I agree girlly…you said! hi five for that *smack*

  2. Raskimono

    August 11, 2010 at 10:15 am

    Dear Glory,
    Please don’t be so silly, yes a lot of men are incompetent dufuses but on the flip side, a lot of women do just like to nag. You could go and visit her and she’ll nag “Why didn’t you come sooner” youl call her and she’ll nag “Oh so it’s today you remembered me?” . You do make a good point but I still say that there are many decent guys out there getting fed up with psychotic women, while many wonderful women are just drawn to doushe bags. So we are all to blame. I say try and find a balance and then deal with what you are dealt…..

  3. hermosa

    August 11, 2010 at 10:18 am

    To Minister of the Complaints Minstry,
    madam, thank you very much!! this is wat i’ve been trying to explain to my bf everytime. he’s labelled me a complainer and won’t so much as look my way these days. i always use to be kind and nice and caring to him, i still am, don’t get me wrong, but… he doesn’t do what i tell him to do, i’ve threatened to leave him, to break the t.v, to hide the remote, check his mails or hide his phone, all my pleas and threats goes on def ears…. he’s driving me off the wall!! it’s furstating!!..

  4. Tari

    August 11, 2010 at 11:15 am

    Hahahhahhahaha….i realised I was becoming a horrendous nag when for every single time I returned home after a day at work, may maids would give me a reason to complain or scream at them.

    Its either they wld have waited for the trash to be full before taking it out, or they are sitting in the living room with their eyes glued to Africa Magic while there are dirty dishes piling in the sink!!

    Seriously, if any nagging is justifiable, I beliv mine was!! However, while they wld do whatever i asked them to do and go on with life, i was the one who was left with a post-screaming headache, or upset with myself for not being better composed!!

    Who had the last laugh?!

    I soon changed my methods, and decided I they were NEVER going to succeed at making me nag again!! So when confronted by those same issues, I now instead smile at them and tell them gently, while fury is raging on the inside of me, or simply go ahead and take the trash out myself, or wash the dishes.

    They panic when they see me do that cos they beliv it means their ‘yawa’ has become greater!! Nevertheless, my new method has worked…I have rest of mind.

    My point?? The Nagger suffers much more than the Naggee…so do urself a favor..stop Nagging!!!

    Trust me, they heard the first time you ever said anything about the issue…

  5. Badowski

    August 11, 2010 at 11:18 am


    Glory, so in essence if i don’t do what you say its a licence to nag? Sounds like blackmail to me. Nice article though

  6. Ogo

    August 11, 2010 at 11:27 am


  7. adenike

    August 11, 2010 at 11:31 am

    Nice write-up… Lol. True talk but honestly some women are ‘born-nags’..

  8. JPrat

    August 11, 2010 at 12:35 pm

    I love this write-up. high five…Kpa!

  9. Anuola

    August 11, 2010 at 12:47 pm

    I don’t know whether I should clap for you or scream ‘Halle’. Needless to say I have forwarded this beautiful post to the hubby. When I met him, I never nagged, whilst we were dating, no nagging however now married (08) with a son who is learning to crawl in tow, I am a shadow of myself. A certified nagger! It started with please could you take the nail cutter back upstairs, please could you not leave your plate lying around in the living room, please could you take your laptop up to the study, now it is full blown growling and snapping ‘dont leave that nail-cutter on the carpet, baby could hurt himself with it! What is wrong with you? take your laptop cable from there before baby electrocutes himself!

    I hate what I have become but what are my options. I am in full time employment like he is so I can’t be responsible for cleaning after baby, ensuring there’s always food for my Mum (who takes care of the baby) and the family, then clean up after him on top of it all. Like seriously?!

    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…it’s so exhilarating to let it all out.

  10. brooks

    August 11, 2010 at 12:51 pm

    Nice article but I agree wt denike dat sm women r born-nags.dey wl nag till d word itself has no meaning.

  11. mariaah

    August 11, 2010 at 12:54 pm

    For me I can’t be bothered to nag, feel its a waste of time (don’t have issues with expressing myself though) I ‘d rather “get on with it”…Like when his playing XBOX, I get busy too come here (BELLA NAIJA) or go to youtube watch naija movies, read the news on websites….Dem no dey tell man, he starts feeling guilty…Muhahahah..
    But ehnnn some women, don’t try there nagging abilities especially those ones who removes their scarf and ties it on their heads! I f you here I ll show you today; show who??RUN!!!

  12. mariaah

    August 11, 2010 at 12:55 pm

    sorry “their” not “there”..

  13. Juwon

    August 11, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    Gosh!!!! You just made too much noise about one, out of million other ways, why you people nag!! Thats exactly the point!!! You take one issue out of several and make a mountain of it.

  14. Pinky

    August 11, 2010 at 1:37 pm

    Hmmm…. I love this…
    Just last night, I was accused of being a nag. As far as my bf is concerned,
    when I ask any question that he doesn’t want to answer or when I repeat
    any issue for discussion more than once, he accuses me of being a nag.
    It is soooo annoying and frustrating and I am fed up… I am not accused of being
    a nag when I am loving him up, cooking delicious meals for him, complimenting
    him, listening to him moan about his issues… Noooo, I’m not a nag…
    But once I ask who he was talking to on the phone, or why he hasn’t been
    picking up his phone, I have become a nag…
    Mehn I am tired of these men, they can be so selfish and annoying…
    Thanks Glory for the write-up. If anything, at least I know I am not alone….

  15. bimpe

    August 11, 2010 at 2:01 pm

    @ Tari i agree with you. i just talk more slowly when i feel like blowing the roof top with my screams and it seems to be working ( i want to believe)
    am loving this blog more with the brilliant articles they.

  16. james

    August 11, 2010 at 2:10 pm

    I think it’s jst an inborn thing amongst people that nag, so save all the explanation. we all have our different temperaments and how we react is what matters here..

  17. lammy

    August 11, 2010 at 2:26 pm

    Nice one Glory, Anuola i agree wit u cos its not easy to work,take care of the house and baby, cook and your hubby also waiting for u to do tins for him instead of assisting u, and xpects u to smile and not nag “ko jo men” but it takes d grace of God not to nag.

  18. Mississippi

    August 11, 2010 at 2:33 pm

    This generally buttresses my long-discovered theory that ”Men were wired to
    behave according to Nike’s pay-off: ”Just do it”!

    How I wish Nike added the word ”right” at the end of their pay-off!

  19. DaBreeze

    August 11, 2010 at 5:03 pm

    Ha ha, Minister of Complaints Ministry…LOL!!!

  20. KemiPen

    August 11, 2010 at 5:09 pm

    All I can write is, “It takes one to know one…”
    …when one complains of another being a nag, it is only a mirror reflection of the behavior of the accuser. Go figure!
    But remember o, one man’s nag is another man’s delight… 🙂

  21. Myne Whitman

    August 11, 2010 at 5:50 pm

    God bless you Tari! LOL…

    They panic when they see me do that cos they beliv it means their ‘yawa’ has become greater!! Nevertheless, my new method has worked…I have rest of mind.

    My point?? The Nagger suffers much more than the Naggee…so do urself a favor..stop Nagging!!!

    Trust me, they heard the first time you ever said anything about the issue…

  22. Olivia M

    August 11, 2010 at 5:57 pm

    LMAO ..Mehn Gloria ,you just nailed it on the head..You are the best girl..”Baby, you’ve changed, you don’t call me as much” and you don’t start calling her or offer plausible reasons why your calls have decreased and she complains it’s not her fault. It’s YOURS!”…lol..I’m going through the same
    through the same scenario with my boyfriend and its so unpleasant nagging,
    about the same thing all the time.Men, sure knows how to make it all your fault and it sucks I tell you peeps.

  23. Zara

    August 11, 2010 at 6:15 pm

    LOOOL Thank you so much for this article!! You spoke the truth and I totally agree with everything you said.
    I am sending this link to my boyfriend who accuses me of nagging everytime I ask or complain about something he should have done but didn’t do.

  24. Bolanle

    August 11, 2010 at 6:25 pm

    Loving this write up. Bulls-eye on this one. Honestly, men can be frustrating children sometimes. But, have learnt to deal with them the right way. The ladies who said they simply ignore & get to the task have it right. Men feel guilty & do their duties. You don’t have to tell twice.

    Honestly, learnt this lesson when I was in ‘loving’ relationship & the man in question was hesitating to ‘put a ring on it’ cos he said I nagged him. At the time, I saw it as gentle pushes in the right direction to get him to do what needed to be done.

    That relationship has since ended but, in moving on, I have found that a man would jump to do what needed to be done when they feel their macho selves are being challenged when you are seen to be independent. In other words, a woman would not need to nag. Two thumbs up to all the ladies out there who have had to cope..

    Word of caution though, we may be their wives, their girlfriends or their lovers. One thing we are not, is their mother. Let us draw the line, be the man, get to the task and we would soon find,that in a bid to prove himself, that stubborn man who could never be bothered with taking the trash out, buying your birthday gift, taking his plate to the kitchen or calling you regularly would switch so fast, even you would hardly believe it.

    Women, rule the world!

  25. AfricanChic

    August 11, 2010 at 7:07 pm

    YAY Jesu!!! I love this article because it summarizes what I have been feeling since I married. Yes, there are some women who naturally nag but I was not born a nag. I was trained by my hubby to be one. When one gets married, it is so that each can become a help mate to the other right???? How is it that I am now doing twice the work I used to do when I was single. Take clothes from downstairs where my husband left it even as he goes upstairs after, put clothes in wash room, wash car, maintain car, buy groceries, pay bills, remember to call his family ever so often, cook his food, make his lunch, make sure I don’t piss him off, etc AHH!! it is too much!! but let me ask him if he can please take off his clothes upstairs instead of downstairs or please help me take out the trash so it can be picked up and I nagg too much, I am ungrateful and not doing my wifey duties. If not for God, I for die since. There is only so much one person can take jo!! Now if only I can find a way for my hubby to read this!

  26. Jiddah

    August 11, 2010 at 7:37 pm

    very well pointed out…..but then some women just like to nag………

  27. Ify O

    August 11, 2010 at 7:38 pm

    An awesome article!!! Thumbs up Glory. I always say to the men ” For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction” That settles it. Women rule!!!

  28. Molicious

    August 11, 2010 at 7:56 pm

    Lol…love the Minister of Ministry of Complaints… Nice article.

  29. besh

    August 11, 2010 at 8:09 pm

    Girls, the sooner you understand that man, no matter what we do wrong we don’t like to be nagged, the better for everybody.
    Look at it this way, my mother nags me, my sisters nag me, and the girl lik luv nags me too. If I dont do it, then go do it yourselves and stop complaining about everything.

    nagging wife’girlfrienc=runaway husband or boyfriend, if he’s not running for you then i means he already has a smallie that is giving him the same thing outside without your unnecessary nagging drama.

    Try staying for one week without nagging and you would see the difference in your partner and even your kids…

  30. Jan

    August 11, 2010 at 8:10 pm

    luv this article..Gloria, u nailed it this time. I have learnt not to pander to men by doing all the household chores. I got married mid 2010 and till date, instead of nagging, i have adopted the blonde bimbo mindset. i ask my husband to do something and he does not, i don’t get mad. I just ignore it & leave the situation as it is. Soon enough, he gets to do it himself. till date, he cooks, cleans around the house. Women, handle him like a man..he’s not a child. We deserve better

  31. fab 5

    August 11, 2010 at 8:36 pm

    I have nearly laughed myself to death. This was a thrilling read. But women sha… U people know how to make everything a man’s fault. Lots of women here say do things right. By whose definition is that the right thing. Nagging for a lot of men is about a woman forcing them to do things they don’t want to do.
    My wife has learnt once she tells me to do something twice, I haven’t done it and she goes any further she’s nagging. Simple. And that’s most probably cos I don’t want to do it.
    Women, U people dream up a set of rules and then try to brow beat everyone into accepting them. Nagging to the core

  32. ego

    August 11, 2010 at 10:13 pm

    @Africhic, from what you’ve described, i think you are a maid and not a wife. Sorry.

    @ Glory, you should please go and marry.

    and to the rest of you, how old are you guys? JEEEEZZZZ!!!

    @Bella, if you like don’t post my comment…

  33. shola

    August 11, 2010 at 11:43 pm

    who says only women nag?men are d worst,nagging generally means stress

  34. Mssocialbee

    August 12, 2010 at 1:10 am

    There’s a huge difference between nagging and correcting/questioning your
    spouse or boyfriend. It’s not the tone or pitch of voice that depicts nagging.
    Someone can talk in a subtle way and still be nagging. A nagger complains all
    the time even when there’s no need; and sounds like a broken record. Bottom
    line, women should learn how to pass their message across without being
    “man repellent” and same goes for men. Keep in mind a nagger will always find
    faults, am hoping this isn’t a means of justifying insanity?

  35. randommer

    August 12, 2010 at 4:46 am

    fab 5
    please can you explain the kinds of things that if your wife asks you twice and you don’t do it, then she can’t/shouldn’t talk again because you didn’t feel like doing it or didn’t want to do it

    i hope it is not something like taking out the trash or picking your clothes from the floor.

    i hope you respond because i am keeping some choice words to myself and wondering when marriage started being about things i will or won’t do. na wa

    • Fab 5

      August 15, 2010 at 5:21 pm

      I appreciate U keeping those words to ur self O! For me its about respect. If she doesn’t want to do it, I dont force her. I get it done my self. And that includes everything. Cooking, cleaning, bathing the baby, baby sitting, picking up clothes from the floor, taking out the trash etc. I do it all. And with no qualms. Where there are qualms is if I want to do it in 5 mins and she says do it now. Thats nagging. Simple. Nagging is harassing someone into doing something U want without regard to their thoughts, desires, feelings and /or emotions. And women do that more tha men. Its really just simple.
      meanwhile, sha no vex release Ur choice words O! Just my two pennies is all

  36. miss pretty

    August 12, 2010 at 11:02 am

    i couldnt wait to read all d comments bcos my blood is already boiling with rage…
    first off, no woman is born a nag..PERIOD! Secondly, if you dont continue telling
    them & u think they heard u the first time u r in 4 a roller coaster ride. I dont get
    bothered when my husband call me a nag, my response to him is if i have to be a
    nag to get the job done so be it..shikena!! Men think that when they call you a
    nag you should take a cue and shut your trap….well they should think twice.
    aaahhhh! too worked up to say anything else.

  37. Ngozi

    August 12, 2010 at 2:38 pm

    @ Ego, who’s calling AfriChic a maid…….Africhic is a wife o and I can identify with her…….everyone’s marriage is different and she’s simply doing wat would ensure peace in her home! Chikena!

  38. africanchikito no.1

    August 12, 2010 at 3:19 pm

    pHEWWW! interesting comments indeed..looks like we all are on the same page with this one.
    Me,i have learnt that im only wasting my time by telling hubby not to undress in the living room.I have learnt to pick his clothes up and take them up’s a lot easier that way!i’ve learnt that i already have a kid in da house even tho am not even preggie,i will change a bad bulb if he won’t,take out the trash….honestly,it’s hard to believe but am more at peace with myself…
    MEN ARE BABIES! deal with it..whichever way u choose!
    for the single sistas..u ain’t seen nothn yet.wait till u start living with him!

  39. glam

    August 12, 2010 at 3:40 pm

    glory,trust mi yu did very well with ur know until now i used to think th that

    that i am the one with a huge problem.its funny ao a guy seems to be doing so

    much before a relationship starts and even a few weeks into it and then after a

    few months things start to change.of course to make the relationship work you

    decide to bring it to his notice that hes obviously changed but what do yu get in retur

    return;complaints about you being a nag,just cos yu intend putting him bac in

    check.i am even tired of men and relationships,dont even think i can handle

    one anymore.nice piece again.feels good to know i am not alone in this

  40. Onegirllikethat

    August 16, 2010 at 12:59 pm

    Lol…nice one Glory! and i agree with Glam too….Recently my boyfriend started acting up.Calls have reduced n even to pick his phone is a problem.It’s a long distance relationship and i have tried to xplain that communication is all we have for now…but no…..i’m labeled a nag.I’ve let him be..goat wey no dey hear word,go hear word inside pot(calabar proverb)lol

  41. jennietobbie

    August 18, 2010 at 4:13 am

    hahahahahahah! This article is soooooo Basketmouth. Can;t stop laughing……we’ll thank you later babes.!

  42. rahma

    August 26, 2010 at 10:27 am

    i enjoyed da article mamaaaa, kit it up………

  43. SweetSerenity

    September 2, 2010 at 7:39 pm

    Me? I refuse to let anybody give me high blood pressure o! It is not happening! I will not die and leave my parents because of anyone whether na husband, pickin or house help o. My husband already has small issue with “nagging” because his mother is a nag so I knew from beginning that this was NOT the way to go with him if I need things to be done.

    Also, I look at it this way, before we moved in together, I used to take my own garbage out, clean my bathroom, wash dishes etc SO THEREFORE I will only ask two or three times for something to be done then I go and do it myself jare because all the time I am wasting yelling, I could have finished the chore and saved myself the headache. And if I don’t have the time then I take the money out of his pocket and call the cleaning service, finish! And then buy myself something nice to compensate for the inconvenience, no need to shout LOL. After I do some hefty shopping two, three, five times, he gets the hint that it is cheaper to just do as I say LOL.

    Strategy!Strategy!Strategy! And I have found that my husband feels guilty when he sees that I have done what I asked him to do OR I am going about doing it so next time, I don’t even have to ask because my action made him not only look bad but feel bad.

    Works for me, might not work for you though:)

  44. Nne

    September 30, 2010 at 1:19 am

    God bless u Gloria, i had to forward this to my Bf, b4 i die of Hypertension….

  45. lizzy

    October 18, 2010 at 11:08 am

    Eye opening article. y do i say so? look at all the responses this has generated meaning everyone was kinda suffering in silence before. As for me, am still single but its the kids we stay with that guarantee you develop a head ache or even worse, a sore throat/ hoarse voice everyday one comes back from work. They go to school, come back home and remain home till every one comes back from work and yet they do not prepare dinner or, they’d prepare for themselves alone and other lousy things they do. They are both young adults and sobaffle me when they start with all their antics. As for guys, am alone for now till i find someone whose head ache i can endure, i don’t even want to discuss their wahala. In all, i’ve decided to save my self all the stress and ignore as much as i can cos i don’t intend to die young. The lord is my strength, i’d always do my bit and leave the rest.

    *Thanks Glory for this piece, and to every one who has commented on this piece, thanks for helping me know that i am not alone.

  46. beth

    November 3, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    I am female and I am not a yeller or nagger by nature I just do it if I want it done. So stick it boys who feel the need to call all women nags. I need help learning to nag. My husband nags my son to death and it frustrates him but he actually does what needs to get done. My husband told me that I needed to nag my son more because I spend 90% of my time with him (my husband works our of town). I use the lets be respectful request route and he does it hours later or never. Maybe he is right. He is a sixteen year old who confessed he would literally do nothing if someone did not push him. I need pointers on getting him out of bed, doing his school work, and simple chores but I really do not want to be a nag it is stressful and my health is too important to me. Help please!

  47. Nagged Boyfried

    November 4, 2010 at 10:07 pm

    Sorry Glory,

    You are a nag. If you want the ketchup bottle put back in the fridge, and it’s SOOOOO damned important that it be done right away, then do it yourself! Seriously, I work hard everyday, and the last thing I need when I get home is my GF to nag me 3 different times to take the garbage out when she does nothing! Especially after I’ve already let out her dog twice that day!

    Women often nag because they are nitpicky and often have unrealistic expectations of their men. No, putting the ketchup bottle back in the fridge is not unrealistic, but putting it back in the fridge exactly WHEN you want him to, on your schedule is definitely unrealistic!

    • Miss T

      February 7, 2011 at 8:46 am

      Uhm! I think the last thing your Gf also wants to deal with after a long hard day at work is the stinky garbage you were supposed to take out.

      P.S. If she doesn’t keep telling you to put the ketchup back in the fridge, you never will and it will become her duty to pick up after you. It’s just human nature..why will I bother myself doing something if someone else can?

  48. Lynn

    July 22, 2011 at 1:37 pm

    Girl you rock!!!! I hope there are male readers on this blog……for every action, there’s a reaction. Besides, the way you treat a lady determines her reponse to u. Treat her like a rose n she’ll blossom; treat her differently and …dance to the music she plays.

  49. adamma

    August 1, 2011 at 5:01 pm

    men men men men men , ow many times did i cll them, these are natural born lazy species period. i mean i cant begin to tell u folks out here all iv seen abt them, my father is a typical example, ordinary to put his bathing water by himself is a problem wen his wife complains , she becomes a nag. lil tins that they are supposed to do , dat vein in thier head to tell dem to ignore it, until when their wife complains they will become nags, abegyy

  50. chukwuka emegwoako

    October 20, 2011 at 4:45 pm


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Star Features