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BN Prose: No Boys! By Dami Dokumu

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The first rule I learnt as a child was ‘no boys’. I didn’t get the ‘birds and Bees’ or ‘you will get pregnant and die’ story. My mother was a simple woman and she had a simple rule- no boys.

I was 18 before I got interested in boys. I’m no psychologist but I’m pretty sure years of ‘no boys’ turns your brain into a ‘male avoider’. His name was Femi. He wasn’t particularly good looking, he wasn’t particularly smart or interesting, but when he was around me, my heart seemed to beat faster, butterflies danced in my tummy and sometimes I found it hard to breathe.

He didn’t talk to me. I had a reputation as a ‘man killer’- MK for short. I was so used to the nickname that sometimes I forgot that it wasn’t my real name and ignored my mum when she called me Jumoke.

‘Jumoke, come down, your friend is here’. I already knew who it was. Only one friend came to visit.

‘Hi Arin’, I said to the girl waiting at the foot of the stairs. ‘what’s up?’

‘Guess what?’, she started. I was always guessing, because I had nothing for her to guess about.

‘what?’
“‘Femi asked me out.”

She watched my reaction closely. Even though I never talked about it, she knew. I wondered how she knew.

“Good for you, are you going to say yes?”

“I might. Haven’t decided.”

“How long is he going to wait?”

“I don’t know. He’s a boy. Boys wait.”

I shrugged. After all what did i know. We made small talk about teachers and TV, it started to get dark and she had to leave.

“Arin, Femi is nice, say yes”.

She smiled and left.

***************************

I had made a mental note never to ask Arin if she finally did say ‘yes’ to Femi. Afterall what business of mine was it anyway. But as usual I didnt have to ask Arin anything.

“I said yes”. She blurted out on one of her random visits.

A part of me died inside. I smiled and wondered if I should hug her. She was watching my face closely.

“I’ve never seen your room”, she said suddenly

“What”?

“Your room. I’ve never seen it.”

“My mum doesn’t like visitors in the rooms”

“Your mum is out. It would only take a minute.” And without any particular warning she walked up the stairs like she had been doing it for years.

I hesitated, but eventually followed behind her.

“So this is it”, she said waking into my  small room. She sat on my barbie bedspread and I blushed.

“‘I feel bad for you. Your mum doesn’t allow you talk to boys. When are you going to be able to talk to them? University?”

I sat down next to her, unsure of what to say. “Look at you, you’re actually pretty”, she said as she lifted her hands to brush my cheeks. “Femi asked me out because he knows I’m your only friend. I think he was trying to make you jealous”.

I flinched at her touch. I wasn’t sure I understood what she was saying.

“I don’t care, I don’t like him” I said rather half heartedly

“I know you dont”? I could tell from her voice that she was mocking me.

“Really I dont!” I said it loudly this time but avioded looking at her.

“So who do you like? Or do you like girls?” My eyes widened with suprise. The thought of liking girls had never crossed my mind. I turned my face to look at Arin only to find her face within mere inches from mine. And then all of a sudden she kissed me. At first, it seemed like a simple peck and then her tongue slid lightly across the bottom of my upper lip. I responded in a similar manner.

Beep beep! My mother was back from work. Arin was down the stairs in a flash and I followed suit. She left the house through the back door and i went to the front door and helped my mum carry her things inside the house. My mind fluttered and danced in all directions as I went to bed that night. Finally a cheeky smile crept into my lips. I was obeying my mother after all.  The rule was simple. No boys.

Photo Credit: www.zazzle.com

71 Comments

  1. Ms. Jayee

    November 25, 2010 at 2:53 pm

    Damn! I didn’t see that coming!

  2. Temiloluwa Adebayo

    November 25, 2010 at 3:09 pm

    Hehehe… no boys indeed. I think our parents tried their best bringing us up. They really genuinely meant no harm when they told us we would get pregnant and die if boys so much as hugged us.

    However, I think I’ll be more open with my kids in order to avoid this kind of Arin/Jumoke situation. Confusion/peer pressure only arises in times of ignorance. We need to be more honest with our kids and stop living in self delusion that they do not know wassup. They know and they learn from bad sources. Openness is key.

    I hope Jumoke does not get even more sucked into it. But really, I don’t see how that would not happen.

    Nice piece Dami O.

    Lord help us.

  3. asia

    November 25, 2010 at 3:10 pm

    hmmmmm, interesting, reminded me of my aunt, she was always saying if i catch you with my niece, I’d cut you thing…..

  4. missbonnie

    November 25, 2010 at 3:13 pm

    omg!!!!..lol, nice write up

  5. Naijamum

    November 25, 2010 at 3:13 pm

    Well…I must say that I am actually all hot and bothered after reading this *smile*
    Really good – and just goes to show what too much discipline can lead a child to do.
    mmmm!

  6. BC

    November 25, 2010 at 3:18 pm

    Let me see your room….she knew what she had in mind. This was well thought out on her part. Children luring children. I know too well.

  7. aproko

    November 25, 2010 at 3:20 pm

    i like this…..

  8. ojima

    November 25, 2010 at 3:24 pm

    omg!!!!! plzzzzz datz jst sooo disgusting…datz jst soooo wrong!!

  9. WaleAdeniji

    November 25, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    This really calls for sober reflection for parents on the restrictions we place on our female kids. I think we need to review and do it right. Like someone earlier said in this thread, openness should be the key. Let’s be open about it and let them know the good and the bad of it all. Only then could we avoid that was about to happen in the case of Arin and Jumoke. Wish every parent successful parenthood.

  10. biola

    November 25, 2010 at 3:31 pm

    whydyou have to stop there??!! was just getting interesting!

  11. bignaijababe

    November 25, 2010 at 3:36 pm

    Nice one Dami!

  12. Umar B.

    November 25, 2010 at 3:38 pm

    Wooowzerz!!!! Mayn that got me tho. Smh! See what mom caused.

  13. Terry chase

    November 25, 2010 at 4:03 pm

    imagine………….mommy u no try @ll u just dey train lesbo 4 house………..men dt was whack!!!!!!

  14. NIRA

    November 25, 2010 at 4:11 pm

    hhhmmm,didn’t see that coming, but i guess it goes to show that over-discipline doesn’t always work. I believe that if we actually sit down and tell our daughters the truth, we’ll be closer to them and they won’t fall prey to pranks like this.

  15. Mr Fineboy

    November 25, 2010 at 4:12 pm

    Haha! I loved the last line. Very good story.

    • Bel

      November 25, 2010 at 4:27 pm

      Where have you been? I love your blog.

    • MRS SOMEBORRI

      November 25, 2010 at 5:53 pm

      Mr Fineboy wotz been happening to you???Blog up ASAP!!!

    • Bbola

      November 25, 2010 at 7:40 pm

      Mr. Fineboy, this is a personal appeal on my behalf for you to reopen your blog. I love reading blogs and yours was a joy to read. I only stumbled across it this year and was very disappointed to realize that you stopped writing in 2008. Please , please, please start writing again.

  16. orla.blogspot.com

    November 25, 2010 at 4:13 pm

    wow oh mi God.

  17. cheaster

    November 25, 2010 at 4:26 pm

    haba, no boys , no lesbians.. thats what your mom meant…….well very typical of the L- world . my dear search your morals and see if kathy perry was right or wrong.

  18. pearl

    November 25, 2010 at 4:30 pm

    nice piece. Everything still boils down to the fact that communication is key betweem parents and their kids.

  19. jennietobbie

    November 25, 2010 at 4:45 pm

    “the rule was simple–no boys” She did obey her mum, but mama never thought of rule number 1 “no girls* for the girls and vice versa….thinking that their kids won’t spoil. Now, which one is better….no boys or no girls???!!!! Truth is you cannot protect your kids 100% of the time. They have their lives to live and are bound to make mistakes like every other person. You just have to guard their paths and honestly tell them what is out there in the world….so that this situation of identity confusion wouldn’t erupt in future….. #TeamBellanaija xoxo

  20. ochella

    November 25, 2010 at 4:47 pm

    big big trouble o.

  21. jcsgrl

    November 25, 2010 at 4:52 pm

    Eewww!!!

  22. Lilian

    November 25, 2010 at 4:57 pm

    Thanks Nira for that point, Parents really need to break things down for their daughters and stop lying to them, i remember when i first told my mum i had started my period, instead of telling me the truth she said now that you are a woman, if a boy touch you, you’ll get pregnant, thank God for self education and reading alot. Overdicipline does not work, there need to be a mutual understanding between mother a daughter if not they would never feel obliged to share their worrries, pains, happiness and sadness with mothers, in one word Over strictness chases or scares them away from Mothers and that’s when lies comes in through friends and peer pressure.

  23. pearl

    November 25, 2010 at 5:47 pm

    Lmaoooo, i did not see that coming. The funniest thing is that mummy would never suspect a thing

  24. CHIKKY

    November 25, 2010 at 6:27 pm

    nice and insightful read. being honest with our kids is just the way forward else they’ll dabble into funny things that they’ll blame us for at the end of the day cos we only told them half of the story…………

  25. jay bee

    November 25, 2010 at 7:12 pm

    wooooowwwzeeerrr!!!!!

  26. Another Ifeoma

    November 25, 2010 at 7:14 pm

    Well freaking done, Dami..well done! That’s what I call “prose” and I like them the way I like my spirits..neat and simple. Standing ovation for that one!!

  27. jmayaki11

    November 25, 2010 at 7:36 pm

    Nice 1! Damn!!! If mommy had d slightest clue, she wld wish she had said ‘plenty boys allowed’ instead!!!!

  28. sexy fashionista

    November 25, 2010 at 7:43 pm

    im printing it out to send to pips in my school

  29. nevergrowup

    November 25, 2010 at 7:45 pm

    dami well done.

  30. Abby Bee

    November 25, 2010 at 7:57 pm

    Hey, at least with Arin she won’t get pregnant & die! ;p

  31. sweetie

    November 25, 2010 at 8:06 pm

    * mouth still open* …i certainly didnt see that one coming. See what unnecessary overstrictness has caused.

  32. Raving

    November 25, 2010 at 11:13 pm

    Yuck!!

  33. D.O.T.M.H.

    November 25, 2010 at 11:47 pm

    Woah! lemme join the crowd to say I SO wasn’t expecting that. It is well.

  34. Oma

    November 26, 2010 at 12:15 am

    sweetie,i second.my mouth is still open.great twist.wow.
    everyone has a reason to be thankful.
    http://llifethroughomaseyes.blogspot.com

  35. mary007

    November 26, 2010 at 3:56 am

    Well written. The writer is really good. Parents myself included need to ask God for wisdom in raising our kids as I am sure mothers in this situation mean well but due to their own lack of wisdom do not know how to communicate with thier children. I remember as a young girl when I first saw my period and I told my mother all she said was you sleep with a boy and you will get pregnant, years later I reminded her when she had learnt to become a better parent she said “what I said that?” I replied yes and went on to tell her how I felt, I could see she was truly sorry and didnt knoe better as she used her own pain to talk. I pray parents learn to communicate openly with their children

  36. fokasibe

    November 26, 2010 at 8:00 am

    well written…..good lesson for me…my daughter can have all the boys she wants….but just under my supervision!

    • Gbemi

      November 27, 2010 at 12:19 pm

      lol @ all the boys she wants….
      You just reminded me of my mum’s response when a neighbor accused her of letting boys into our home when I was a teenager. “You think boys don’t toast your daughters? I’d rather let my girls bring all their friends home, so I can screen them. That way, if anyone of them gets into trouble, I’ll know exactly who did what”

    • bcgeorge

      November 29, 2010 at 9:25 am

      ur momma sure did well…..

  37. tonia

    November 26, 2010 at 8:31 am

    PARENT SHOULD LEARN TO BE OPEN TO THERE KIDS….NOT SCARING THEM TEACH THEM WAT THEY NEED TO KNOW

  38. Jennyphar

    November 26, 2010 at 9:59 am

    I like!

  39. BayBay

    November 26, 2010 at 11:01 am

    Godsmaked!!! definately dint see that coming ! cool write up …parents beware !

  40. ruby

    November 26, 2010 at 11:23 am

    I remenber my mum telling me dat if i sit or hug a noy i wld get pregnant….parents shld chillax sumtyms

  41. Austine

    November 26, 2010 at 11:32 am

    The last scene, as it were was really disgusting. No harm meant by the rule, but instead, why no replace the rules with principles, which needs explantion. By so doing, the female child becomes so much aware of the pros & cons. That’s my take on this issue.

    Anyway, nice prose I must confess!

  42. Hotchocolate

    November 26, 2010 at 11:41 am

    chineke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  43. nkemgi

    November 26, 2010 at 2:09 pm

    nice one. i believe our parents should be the one seeing this. being too strict can affect a child negatively. i hope our generation does better.

  44. Aibee

    November 26, 2010 at 2:17 pm

    Wharrahell? I didn’t see that one coming. What?

  45. Maki_Mabooboo

    November 26, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    Great job Dami! It was kinda… Kinky. 😉

  46. PHAT

    November 26, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    hmmmm…..guess i was the only one dat suspected Arin! nywaz TRUTH is the only way to go, Mama shd have told babygal the truth bout boys…..maybe that wlda helpd Jumoke decide which way she was goin to swing but still; having ALL the knowlegde in the world bout BOYS doesnt stop babygal from liking breasts instead!!!

  47. Vanity

    November 26, 2010 at 5:14 pm

  48. Garnetcore "Boss"

    November 26, 2010 at 7:39 pm

    Love this! You got me real good…

  49. beeba

    November 27, 2010 at 2:44 pm

    DAMI !! DAMI!! DAMI !! I LOVE YOU !!

  50. NNENNE

    November 28, 2010 at 1:41 am

    lmao!

  51. Amanaria

    November 28, 2010 at 2:20 am

    My dear, i did not see that one comin. My Mum was ssooooo strict and i am so proud of myself ( might I blow my own trumpet), gave my life to Christ early and learnt from other peoples mistake was not foolish enuf to make my own as my Mum would have dug my grave, put me in it and then set the grave on fire… My proudest moment came when i handed my mother her grandson and my Husband gave her a cow! Didnt see that comin, Hee hee. I dunno about not firghtening your kids but think about it ,half the things we avoid in life however tempting are because we are afraid of them. I was sooo afraid of getting preggie so i avoided sex til i was married (yes we still exist). i was so afraid of failing so i read my book. for those who went to boarding school, do u remember that senior that you felt could kill you in ur sleep so you learnt to fetch 3 buckets of water at the same time… Fear isnt such a bad thing.
    No one is perfect, parents are not to blame. They practise with us and we with them. It’s new with each parent and child, let’s just try and make them proud as they do us.
    P.S I LOVE YOU MUMMY

  52. bcgeorge

    November 29, 2010 at 9:53 am

    once dated a gurl during service year in calabar who suffered dis same fate….i ws her first boifriend @ 21 but not her 1st lover cos she’s had 3 ex…dnt ask me who they were….lols…trust mi dey she is & wss d best kisser iv eva had….enuff said..missin her already..TJ, u rock!!!!!!

  53. maryjane

    November 29, 2010 at 1:30 pm

    WHOA!i didnt see dat coming, i guess girl children always need more info. mums pray 4 wisdom.

  54. Somi

    November 30, 2010 at 6:03 pm

    Wow!.. Shocking!… and I like!
    No boys mama? How bout girls then….
    Good story.. short and to the point.

  55. Ndy

    December 9, 2010 at 3:32 am

    lol that was a good one

  56. Mizchif

    January 1, 2011 at 10:39 am

    me likey

  57. Abdul

    April 5, 2011 at 1:23 pm

    dami go girl dats a nice 1
    kipitup

  58. zara

    April 5, 2011 at 7:10 pm

    :O hahahaha.. literal interpretation NO BOYS!
    LOVE IT!!

  59. Kunmi

    April 7, 2011 at 4:18 pm

    WOW. Like the first person said, I did NOT see that coming. Woaaaah! 😐

  60. Mugzy

    April 7, 2011 at 8:29 pm

    this is good. Got me real good but it gets the point home. Locking up kids and lying to them really doesn’t help..

  61. Z

    May 27, 2011 at 10:35 am

    Gobsmacked

  62. alice

    June 26, 2012 at 11:21 am

    i was lied to ..i was locked…i was beaten…see d calamity i became………lmao

  63. Fionnuala

    June 26, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    This is just one of the many realistic stories out there that we fail to accept in our society. Trying to bring up strict kids without informing them, but in the end strangling them of a normal childhood. I vote for a loving and open relationship between parents and their kids, and let the truth be spoken in a way that it is understood and accepted. The Truth will always set us free!

  64. alicia

    June 26, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    i really didnt see that coming, “NO BOYS” wish mummy knw better

  65. myladymo

    July 11, 2012 at 3:04 am

    Damn that caught me off guard…here i was saying no no move away.lol.I know my mum freaked me out about getting intimate with guys cos i thought the monent i do i would get pregnant but that didnt stop me from crushing on cuties.ha.I waited till i was 18 so if it did happen i could sign them papers.lol.Thank God it didnt

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