There are few things I love more than being chased by a man that is totally into me. The constant phone calls, the surprise gifts for absolutely no reason, the ‘just because’ flowers sent to my place of work, the romantic dinner dates and, of course, the intense look in his eyes when he tells you he’s in love with you. I don’t know about the rest of the female populace, but as far as I am concerned, there aren’t many things that are more seductive than when a man is totally into you and is willing to prove it.
So you can understand why it has never crossed my mind to be the one to make the moves on a man. Now, before you all start to scream at me, let me just say there is nothing wrong in making the first move on a guy, but personally, it is something I have never been comfortable doing. If I meet someone I am attracted to and he makes no move on me, I let the matter rest. Call me old fashioned, but I believe it is a man’s place to do the chasing. Also, I don’t think we women are built to take the possible rejection that may follow. What if I chased some guy and he told me he wasn’t interested. HA! I might have to move to another country! I wouldn’t be able to bear it. Plus, I would be absolutely clueless on how to go about such a mission.
However, I have recently found out that I am in the minority where this is concerned. According to my friends, we 21st century independent women are go-getters; we see what we want and go for it! Be it a job, a car or a man…if we want it we must have it. Unfortunately, I am yet to tune myself to accept such a broad ranging definition of independence. However, things might soon change.
Recently, I have been undergoing training as part of continuous professional development at work. Little did I know what I was in for. My trainer was a blessing from heaven. He is tall, has a good build and then a face that would rival Denzel in his prime. As soon as I walked into the door, I knew I was in trouble. The man oozed hotness at about a million kilometers per hour and I literally could not take my eyes off him. To crown it all, he was intelligent. He spoke with the eloquence of a demi-god and answered every question with the ease of a professional. I was in a trance! Throughout his portion of the training, my mind concocted all sorts of romantic scenarios and by lunch time I had already started writing my first name and his last name on my note book. At one point, I had to give myself a mental shake just so I could concentrate on what he was saying as opposed to the way his lips were moving!
I finally decided to confide in my male colleagues and they began to give me pointers on how to make a move on the guy. “Just walk up to him and ask him if he wants to go for drinks after the session” one suggested. “Tell him you want his number so you can ask some follow-up questions” another advised. I refused all their suggestions and they laughed in my face. “Glory, do you think this guy is just going to walk into your lap without some encouragement?” “How is the guy going to know you are interested if you don’t give him some sort of indication?” they all asked me. I sat moping. I had no answers, but I refused to acknowledge that there was some validity in the points they raised.
After two days of training my trainer walked out of my life and I may never see him again. I almost called out his name and ran down the stairs after him as he shook our hands and left our office premises in his official car. My male colleagues all looked at me in disbelief. But as I explained to them, if he was interested in me he should have made a move to get my number or something. Why should I be the one to chase after him?
Later that evening I narrated the story to a few close male friends and they both agreed that my way of thinking is archaic. According to them, the key to chasing a guy is to spot a mature man from a pack of boys. They explained to me that a mature man will know what is expected of him and would take over the reins immediately, instead of letting me carry on with the chase. But according to them, there is a fine line between subtle suggestive hints and full on ‘I want you’ gestures and men usually prefer the former.
So here is my dilemma. As I type this article, I have the ‘trainer’s’ complimentary card on my table, complete with mobile number and email address. Should I take the advice of friends and contact him? What would be the preferred method of contact- email, text or phone call? And what exactly should I say to him? Or do you think I should let sleeping dogs lie and face my work for the day? After all, if he was interested he would have made his move! Have you ever made a move on a guy or as a guy, has a woman ever put the moves on you? What are your thoughts people? Help a sister out!
p.s. If the guy is a BellaNaija.com reader, I might have to relocate to Ghana!
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