A few weeks ago, one of my guys had a dilemma.He had been dating a girl for a while. He really liked her and was thinking of taking things seriously. She had told him that she was a virgin and he had no problem with that. According to him they finally had sex and it was okay considering it was her first time. However, by the second time they got down, girlfriend had seemingly acquired some skills, for in his own words “she was everywhere!” Now my man is down with the “lady in the streets but a freak in the bed” thing but what unsettled him was the fact that she appeared a lot more experienced sexually, given the fact that her experiences were almost non-existent. He told me that she swore she had only seen porn once and he was just at a loss to explain her sudden sexual experience!
So the issue raised the question of whether some women are born to be sensual/sexy while some are not.
I have a friend who complained that men just see her and the first thing that pops into their minds is “Can we hook up?” “Can you come over to my place?” Whether she’s wearing that “I’m-off-to-the-market” bubu and has her hair in a scarf, the guys didn’t seem to mind. I laughed at her story but truth be told she does seem to have this extra sexiness about her. I then had a conversation with my colleagues (three women) about why some certain women (who sometimes may not be particularly fine) seem more sexy/sensual than others. We came to the conclusion that some women just naturally ooze sex and seemingly attract more men to them than the average girl.
I daresay that some women are naturally i.e. born sexy and ready. They may not be the prettiest or wear Brazilian weaves or dress expensively. No, their sex appeal goes beyond the physical, which might be attributed to their giving off more pheromones than the average girl. They are those kinds of women that would walk by and all a guy can think about is how to get with her.
I had a classmate like that in school. I would not say that she was particularly pretty or my type but for some reason I just wanted to have sex with her! We would talk and joke about it and I would invite her over to mine but she always laughed it off saying, “TJ! You eh!” I shared my feelings with another one of my classmates and he said he totally understood. In my mind, this is nature’s way of evening things out, of making things fair. For we all know of gorgeously beautiful and sexy women who were revealed to be frigid, they just do not enjoy sex.
On the flipside of things, I have heard so many women go gaga at the sight of a certain Idris Elba, who to quote one of my colleagues is “a beast”. According to her and a few other women, the first thing they think of when they see a picture or image of him is ripping his clothes off. There are women, married and single, who would gladly let him have his way with them. I ask why and they say there is just something about him that screams “sex!” and good sex at that. Now I do not think Mr. Elba is as gorgeously handsome (not my words o!) as Denzel Washington but I think that with respect to sex, most women will pick Elba over Washington.
So back to my friend’s dilemma: we figured out that maybe she had learned a few tricks from M&B books, movies and other material. Or maybe she was the kind of girl that sex comes easy and naturally to, so that even by the second time, it is like she has been having sex for years. So I chastised him and begged him not to scare her away with his apprehensions. For I think that many women learned to be less expressive than they would be because of fear of what their men would think of them.
In all, as highlighted above, this is just nature’s way of balancing things out (read as differences) and of making sure that things go on as planned. While some women are born this way, some are not.
PS: I have a couple of theories that may explain nature’s role in ensuring our dominance as a species. Time and BN permitting I may just share.
Photo credit: vibevixen.com