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TJ O’Karo: Ensuring the Survival of the Human Race



I was having a conversation with my colleagues a few weeks ago and the gist veered off into the realm of relationships and marriages. Not long after, we began to talk about men that cheat on their partners, especially the repeat offenders. We tried to think up reasons why men in perfectly “good” relationships or marriages would risk all that they had for a few moments of pleasure in the arms of other women. We came up with the usual reasons – boredom, lust etc – and then from nowhere a possible reason as to why some men are serial cheaters popped into my head!
You see, I was a science student in secondary school. My Biology was excellent, save for the chemical aspects of it (read: as Kreb’s Cycle). My first degree was in the physical sciences and as a result I try to think like a scientist in spite of my religious beliefs. Now, due to my interests and quest for higher learning I have received additional training as a social scientist and thus my search for answers has made me a keen observer of human beings their nature and their environment. As such, what popped into my head may be viewed as nonsense or a man’s way of providing yet another excuse for cheating and immorality. However,like every hypothesis it must be explored and tested for validity.

Some men and women (an appreciable number or not) are serial cheaters because it is nature’s way of ensuring the propagation of the human species! There I said it! *Now ducking for cover* *Dons flak jacket and helmet and re-emerges from the trenches*

Hang on, hang on. Please allow me to discuss my case. Please? Phew! Ok, first and foremost, for the human race to survive extinction in the form of plague, pestilence, flood, famine and other natural disasters our numbers must be in such large figures that ensure that a good number of us will survive. The odds that a significant number of people will survive the impending meteor impact as predicted by the Mayans (and their distant relatives) are only increased by the increasing number of people on the planet. So if we borrow from Darwin and Statistics we find that procreation is the way to go. Following my argument, it would seem that “Mother Nature” has already swung things in motion in the event of a cataclysmic event.
Sitting down at my desk, I can, with a degree of confidence, assert that a good one-third i.e. 33% of individuals currently inhabiting the Earth were conceived or born out of monogamous wedlock, whether as a result of youthful passions or extra-marital affairs. At this point I must say, that we as a people are really hypocritical about such offspring. I mean getting pregnant out of wedlock has been with us as a people since the beginning of time. It is not the right thing to do by societal and religious standards but it does not mean we should turn up our noses at the individuals involved! It is part of life and life goes on! But I digress.

Yes, where was I? Oh yes, think about it, a good 33%!! So if everyone stuck to one partner we would not be as many as we are. So many women would be childless and the odds that the human race would survive a Roland Emmerichesque disaster would be undoubtedly slimmer.
So what then triggers the cheating in man? His nature. And as all men are different, this nature is different in different men. It may surprise you to know that scientist have “discovered that about half of all people have a gene that makes them more vulnerable to promiscuity and cheating.” (Source: Yup! Researchers at the State University of New York observed that “Those with a certain variant of the dopamine receptor D4 polymorphism — or DRD4 gene -“were more likely to have a history of uncommitted sex, including one-night stands and acts of infidelity,” (Justin Garcia, 2010).
“DRD4 is the “thrill-seeking” gene, also responsible for alcohol and gambling addictions. The gene can influence the brain’s chemistry and subsequently, an individual’s behavior. The desire to cheat or sleep around seems to originate in the brain’s pleasure and reward center, where the “rush” of dopamine motivates those who are vulnerable, the researchers say.”
“When the brain is stimulated – drinking alcohol, jumping from planes, having sex – it releases dopamine, the pleasure response hormone.
“It’s rewarding and makes us excited and gives us pleasure,” said Garcia. “But the people with the DRD4 gene need more stimuli to feel satiated. Some of say ‘wow,’ that was a rush after jumping out of a plane. Others ask, ‘When is the plane going back up?'” ( as above)
Dr. Garcia asserts that everyone has got the gene but like all things genetic some have it stronger than others and are more prone to cheat while some have it repressed. Yes, it is also passed on from parent to offspring. A similar study was carried out by scientists in Sweden where the AVPR1A gene has been identified as the possible cause for cheating.
While this might be a scientific explanation we must agree that nurture also has a role to play. Nurture based on religious beliefs and modern social conventions serve to control and repress his nature. So what if the man was raised in a polygamous home? Or grew up knowing his father had children outside his matrimonial home? Would he replicate his father’s behaviour or would his beliefs hold sway? Sometimes nurture overrides nurture and nature and vice versa. By the way, cheating is by no means gender specific! So women could be as easily affected.
You might not agree, but we must explore all the possible reasons as to why men and women cheat in order to arrest or deal with it, and the cheating gene which in some way tries to ensure the propagation of the human species might be responsible.
Purists and moralists may roll their eyes in contempt but hey if you believe in Tim LaHaye’s proffered behavioural theories in his bestseller “Why You Act The Way You Do”, why not this? Some individuals by their actions whether genetically motivated or not try to ensure man’s continual survival at the top of the food chain as the superior species on this planet. Of course by reason if we were all rabbits giving in to our natural urges to copulate we would very quickly overrun the Earth and its resources, paradoxically taking us on the path to extinction.

The truth is in life there must be a balance. As medical science increases life expectancy and provides alternative ways for barren women to have babies, we are still prone to death from wars, natural and human disasters. Extinction is still a possibility and maybe just maybe these “philanderers” are just doing their bit, however inadvertently.

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  1. Glam

    December 13, 2012 at 10:21 am

    Some say ‘men are biologically programmed to cheat’. In my opinion, there are no concrete reasons why men cheat, all i believe are mere excuses.

    • Purpleicious Babe

      December 14, 2012 at 8:01 am

      YEP….I agree with Glam…

      As you stated Purist and Moralist will roll their eyes, I rolled my eyes before I got to that bit sef. As a moralist, yes ke, lol, I believe in principles and I think to a degree humans are govern by them.

      FACT: if your principles i.e. what governs your actions are polluted, then certainly your actions are polluted. If your actions yields nothing but bad fruits i.e. cause pain and hurt to others.

      You come with the theory that there is a gene that is affecting the men etc, again another excuse NOT to admit to the issue and deal with it.

      Well am guessing the “scientists” are now working on a drug that will stop men from TEACHING….. ALIE.


      PEOPLE have urges no doubt, we are humans but PLS IF YOU CANT CONTROL ABEG ADMIT and stop cooking up bunch of reasons as to why a MAN WILL CHEAT. People that cheat have their reasons, na them sabi o jare…

    • Purpleicious Babe

      December 14, 2012 at 8:12 am

      lool oo.. I meant CHEATING.. HAHA where did TEACHING come from…?? random

  2. oluchy

    December 13, 2012 at 10:57 am

    My opinion is that there is no excuse for cheating. Every wrong is now science/genetically based including homosexuality. Wrong is wrong no matter what science thinks/says.

  3. Person pikin

    December 13, 2012 at 11:00 am

    Bollocks mehn. There’s no excuse for cheating! #shikena

  4. Tosin

    December 13, 2012 at 11:05 am

    On the article: it was junk, but fun-to-read junk. I like.

    On ‘cheating’: I don’t like cheating. That involves lying. That sucks. You should tell me what’s up with you. Nothing abnormal AT ALL about being with multiple partners. I will probably be with multiple partners, I mean I can’t lie and say blah blah blah till death. Sounds like a big impossible promise to make.

    • Bleed blue

      December 13, 2012 at 1:55 pm

      Tosin you’re such a cool kid 🙂

  5. cool kid

    December 13, 2012 at 11:14 am

    I reject the “dopamine receptor D4 polymorphism — or DRD4 gene ” IJN Tufiakwa

    • Bleed blue

      December 13, 2012 at 1:57 pm

      And cool kid, you’re such a funny kid. ROTFLMAO

  6. sundy

    December 13, 2012 at 11:23 am

    interesting piece

  7. Candy

    December 13, 2012 at 11:25 am


  8. adenike

    December 13, 2012 at 11:41 am

    “Yes, where was I? Oh yes, think about it, a good 33%!! So if everyone stuck to one partner we would not be as many as we are. So many women would be childless and the odds that the human race would survive a Roland Emmerichesque disaster would be undoubtedly slimmer.”

    Here’s my response to the balderdash up there: I do hope you’re married and I hope you’ll be able to understand when your wife comes home with another man’s pregnancy. Afterall,she shouldn’t be wicked enough to allow some men be childless.
    Cheating is absolutely wrong,even God said “I am a jealous God, you shall have no other god beside me”. How much more we mere mortals? Really sad and annoying that Nigerian men see cheating as a way of life. Bunch of anuofias!

    • skinnygirl

      December 13, 2012 at 9:18 pm

      oh pleaseeeee!!!!! what has the article got to do with her martial status…. people quit playing the too righteous game… the bible also said ”thou shall not lie…” so tell me you havent told a single lie in your life… and i think it also says ”thou shall not judge so that ye shall not be judged..”. who are we to judge those who have kids outside marriage…. the bible also says ”remove the speck from your eye before you remove the log from your neighbours…” Bella post my comment…

    • ot

      December 13, 2012 at 10:14 pm

      u’re so on point dear

  9. Ginika

    December 13, 2012 at 11:56 am


    As with everything, one cannot simply allow things to grow as they will, as it ends up growing sporadically and out of sequence – hence the word wild. If we as the human race were allowed to do whatsoever we willed or wanted, every single individual, there would be chaos.

    We would kill whenever we felt seriously angered, we would have sex with anyone whenever we felt like it (forcefully), we would lie and see no need to tell the truth, we would not be accountable for anything, we would sleep all day and eat all day and occassionally do something exciting.

    What is my point you may ask me?! My point is that as much as “dopamine receptor D4 polymorphism — or DRD4 gene” has been linked to being a major contributing factor to infidelity, we simply cannot let ourselves go. We cannot allow ourselves do whatever we want, whenever we feel like it, we must discipline and restrainning ourselves (what we condition ourselves to is a different debate). Some people, if let to do what they willed, will never take a bathe (except once a month, after a series of infections).

    Call it whatever you want, but simply allowing something to exist in its raw form doesn’t productively contribute to the existence of man. Hence, we are the superior animal in the animal kingdom. Take a look at the lions:

    “The pride usually consists of five or six related females, their cubs of both sexes, and one or two males (known as a coalition if more than one) who mate with the adult females (although extremely large prides, consisting of up to 30 individuals, have been observed). The number of adult males in a coalition is usually two, but may increase to four and decrease again over time. Male cubs are excluded from their maternal pride when they reach maturity.”

    We are not lions! And even though we can draw similar characteristics from all aspects of the ‘behviour’ nature, to the human behaviour, we are still superior beings and expected to act like we are.

    My next epistle will be published in my upcoming journal – LOL

    • jyde

      December 13, 2012 at 4:13 pm

      Hello g, u look good sis, tell me r lions your thing?Coz for you i would stop lookin at other women and wear my lions suit just for you.
      U kno say dis na africa ,so i can lay my hands on the original,real deal lions hide,complete with head and paws.I promise not to bite or scratch.
      Im waitin for a serious reprimand and tellin off.But hey feel free.i prob deserve it.
      Still think u look good though,try not to hurt my feelings,Go an die will suffice. jyde

  10. Damie Damie

    December 13, 2012 at 12:31 pm

    This is junk. Cheating can never be justified. if he/she makes you unhappy then move on. I didn’t even finish your shitty article before i got bored and dropped my comment. You should grow up tho. Your ass-ticle is way childish.

  11. Sandra

    December 13, 2012 at 12:32 pm

    Careful with that BS talk o. Thats how justifying homosexuality started, and the whole world now drinks the Kool-Aid. If you don’t drink it you are accused of being intolerant and narrow minded and shallow. Its funny how the tides have turned, and those that were ashamed in the past, are now the ones shaming the rest of us into hiding. We cant speak out against it again. The devil is really reigning supreme. They have shifted now to cheating, alcoholism, gambling etc. Where does it stop.? Soon paedophiles will start claiming their rights, and start claiming they were born this way. Thats where it starts. You open the gate for one, and all flow through.You can only trust that a man will write this. Mschew. 30years down the line when you have cheated your way through, lagos, abuja, london, new york, you name it, and you’ve done the world a favour with over population. Lets see if that will sustain you through your golden years. Also please keep this post to console your daughter when her husband cheats on her, or even worse brings home HIV to her. Be careful what you accept, or what you make up reasons for to accept, because that reasoning or that acceptance will come back one day and bite you in the behind, my blessed daddy always says. Take a stand now, dont be caught like clothes drying on a line with no direction. Ode oshi. Anuofia. Shior.

    • ot

      December 13, 2012 at 10:17 pm

      well said Sandra

    • Purpleicious Babe

      December 14, 2012 at 8:08 am

      LOOL…. oo jokes.. but i so get u oo..

      Yep, infact 30 or less yrs later people will be married to cows, horse, sheep, goats etc and will claim it their lives and what they feel. Another scientist will JUSTIFY THAT… HMM.. part of their lives.. the wonders of life.

      Nothing never ever cease to AMAZE ME. How much more God ( laughs her head off) HE MUST HAVE HIS HANDS UNDER HIS CHIN watching in 3D amazegaga…

      WOW, they will say its evolution, we are evolving ..hehe

  12. ij

    December 13, 2012 at 12:33 pm

    As it is the world is over populated , in fact its almost bursting at its seams so this angle of survival of the human race is absolute balderdash .
    DISCONTENTMENT !! this is the main reason men and women cheat . what i cant understand is if one is tired of a relationship or is looking for something else why hang on to that which you are tired of, that which is supposedly driving you to cheat , that which you are so unhappy with , that which is making your life hell?
    Let it go and be free to roam like a freaking dog , simple!!

  13. divea

    December 13, 2012 at 12:36 pm

    Human beings will always give reasons albeit flimsy to cheat. I, for one don’t condone cheating…whether in business deals or relationships. Humans especially men should instead of giving excuses to cheat, fight not to cheat since its them that cheat the most.

  14. Busayo

    December 13, 2012 at 12:45 pm

    While I think everyone is enetitled to their opinion. I don’t think that people like the writer of this article should be encouraged to exalt wrong doing. Please what us happening to our moral values? why have we become so twisted in our manner of thinking? what is the hope for the very same human race your opinion seems to protect when we have degenerated to such state? Honestly, I must confess this article made me question by loyalty to this blog!

  15. ruth

    December 13, 2012 at 1:35 pm

    wow dis is d 1st tym am reading such a long write up hoping it’l mk sense in d end buh i stil hv my lips dropped in amazement.drs totally no excuse 4 cheating.i wish i dint read dis.

  16. jyde

    December 13, 2012 at 2:29 pm

    Food for thought,or is it? HMM i wonder.We men cant explain our ways even to ourselves.
    I cant speak for women,but my father lived with both his women,married and i guess a few outside too.My grandfather had four in his compound and i cant speak for my fore fathers.
    Im not excusing anything but,it does have an effect on a male child.
    It took me years to mature and settle and be content with one woman.
    Having said that its standard prac to sample take away when abroad where theres no chance of being found out.And im a grown man with kids in their twenties.
    Will i ever stop?What exactly am i trying to stop?
    Many women wont tolerate infidelity,i dont blame them,na u get your man now.
    Its just that our society is complex,and trying to live a modern lifestyle mixed with traditional values and upbringing is not easy.Sure we know it hurts and germs lurk awaiting,yet men/women cheat.
    I think if ones not ready to settle and be content with one woman ,then dont kid yourself that you are.That way you spare injury and insult to those who dont deserve it.
    Its really hard,honestly,even at 90yrs men still look at women and wonder if they could manage a round or two.We are trying to change,at least some of us are.
    Now watch the hypocrites begin yab.
    I close mouth joor.

    • Ella

      December 14, 2012 at 11:52 am


  17. birdieblue22

    December 13, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    disturbing very disturbing.

  18. phummie

    December 13, 2012 at 3:57 pm

    They say it is hard for men to be faithufl, ok o. But it is also hard to know u can lie and get away wiv it but still choose to say d truth, it is also hard for us women to see a hot guy hitting on us and resist touchin……plz lets just do the right things. All dese justification is crap.D bible has given us lead on how to live, what else can be justified. This is just the act of d devil to take over d world and lead pple astray to join him at the end time pit of hell .The pathway to hell is wide…Isaiah 47, we ve been warned., we have Revelations to read.

  19. Ajoke

    December 13, 2012 at 3:59 pm

    Human beings are “animals” like cows or dogs, we experience many of the same natural urges and insticts as these animals one of which being the natural desire to procreate (have sex). Because of our higher intelligence than other animals, we’ve created these cultural rules to suite our taste but sometimes, these cultural rules are not compatable with our animalistic instincts (monogamy) and so people act on their natural insticts over the cultural rules = cheating.

    I think some of the points in this piece were kinds of weak but I understand what you were trying to say…

  20. Funmi

    December 14, 2012 at 10:11 pm

    U are so right we are all polgamist by nature, thank God for religion

  21. Unisex

    December 15, 2012 at 2:07 pm

    Ladies, you do know women cheat right. if I tell you stories about cheating women you be afraid. From my second cousin cheating on her husband getting pregnant and passing of the child as he son for 15yrs before it came out. Men cheat and Women cheat. Women are actually better in cheating no would know.

  22. jumy

    December 15, 2012 at 4:30 pm

    @jyde ure an average man next door and you’re truthful to yourself to admit it. Men and women have gone through experiences, many they aren’t proud of from a moralistic point of view unfortunately u cant go back in time to change what u did. Yes i agree the bulk of the population won’t exist if we all have to be born in defined monogamous relationships. The product of such have the right to live and also proliferate. Abraham slept with his maid im sure not at gun point! Some organizations frown at abortion even if its as a result of rape from a serial killer! So they know the child has the right to live even he/she will terrorize the next generation. You are branded weak because you enjoy the company of several women (Hugh Hefner), marry several wives, choose not to take a lifetime partner, love another man already taken etc. The society frowns at everything, when and how u talk, you sleep and whom u sleep with, the world is big enough for a variety of individuals, the best you can do is find happiness out of it.

    • jyde

      December 18, 2012 at 8:40 am

      Hi J, i saw yr note and its true,”Is there a gun forcing me”?Obviously not,its me makin a bad decision.One wrong move always leads to another,and bamm.Regrets.We find good women taken by smarter guys who knew a good thing at first sight.We live in a diff age,so copyin our fathers doesnt add up,nor can it excuse hurting others. I can only speak for myself and my guys in denial.We’ve all lost good women,and its painful when dissapointed,tearful women,tell you”i didnt cheat on you so why hurt me?Women who once commited ensure they build a stable and successful family through hard work,team-work and sacrifice.
      To be honest,nothing beats an honest,commited wife /team mate in this quest for happiness.
      We all need a solid foundation/wife to advise and help build a happy home.
      Times have changed,our kids need good values to protect them from lifes evils,our experiences must serve as you wisely pointed out as guides in our quest for happiness which stable honest friendships partnerships eventually marriage eventually reward us with. Heres to lessonslearnt.

  23. branc chic

    December 17, 2012 at 11:30 am

    BELLA NAIJA ,am in a dilenma.This might be out of the post context but i need help.Maybe this should feature on one of your relationship posts.How easy is it to be in a serious relationship without sex.Does the relationship eventually lead to marriage.I’d like to hear from people who refrained from having sex while dating and still got married to their man.Thanks

    • AWEsome

      December 19, 2012 at 10:49 am

      Hi dear,
      am still single , but there is this group on Facebook, abstinence till marriage. there are quite a few there that can encourage you to keep on keeping. God bless you

  24. Bernadette

    December 18, 2012 at 12:30 pm

    LOL. Real rabbishhhhhhhh………..

  25. Ngozi...

    December 18, 2012 at 9:37 pm

    It’s your type that pisses me off the most… you sound educated, exposed and learned, yet the African bastard in you must show himself. You say you’re trying to change… Who are you trying to kid? You cheat because you can get away with it. Your “culture” allows you get away with it. You will raise sons who will grow up to be cheating bastards like their father and your daughters will be victimized by other cheating bastards. She won’t be able to get a job or progress in life without having to “spread” first because of your kind. It’s a vicious cycle that African men don’t want to end…

    • cb

      December 20, 2012 at 10:52 am

      Well said Ngozi.

  26. bolu

    January 1, 2013 at 7:33 pm

    An international survey in 2012 once reported that nigerian women are the most cheating in the world..d discussion should pls be on our girls, ladies, and women next time..they cheat more

  27. atm

    January 11, 2013 at 10:58 pm

    all these surveys and statistics sef!

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