BN Prose: Letter To Heaven by Rolayo Williams

Dear God,
Mummy and Daddy are at it again today. Mummy’s shouting woke me up. At first, I thought there had been a fire or a robbery, but then, I listened well and I heard what she was shouting about. Daddy came back home late again, he had been drunk so he slept in the boys’ room. Mummy has been calling him all sorts of names; names that don’t portray love and respect. She said he’s a drunkard and a womanizer. She said he isn’t man enough to be the head of this house. I thought YOU were the head? She’s accusing him of destroying our home with his frivolous life. Frivolous. Last time they had a fight, she used that word too, I had to check the dictionary in school later that day.

Daddy never responds. He just let’s her shout all she wants, and I think that makes her more upset. He would just stare at the TV in apt concentration or take his car keys and go out again, most times he won’t be back till dawn. This morning though, I guess he’s just in the room because I haven’t heard the creaking sound of the door. Maybe he’s still sleeping while Mummy is out here screaming.

Dear God, I miss the old times. I miss when we were a happy family, when Bola and Deji were around. Bola always knew how to calm Mummy down, but now that he’s away in school, peace seems to have left with him. I’m so scared of Mummy. I don’t know what to say to her, especially when it concerns Daddy. I know Daddy isn’t making her happy and he’s never around, but I think Daddy doesn’t like being around because Mummy always picks a quarrel when he is.

It’s been two years now, God,since our last family vacation to the UK. Two years… since the shouting began, and it doesn’t feel like its going to end anytime soon. Sometimes I feel like I did something wrong to deserve these kind of parents. Why can’t my parents be like Korede’s or Oge’s? If they hated themselves so much, why did they get married? Why does Daddy keep hurting Mummy and why can’t Mummy forgive? I know I shouldn’t be asking questions, but I have so many unanswered ones. What hurts the most is that I have to keep it all to myself. Days like this, I just stay behind my room door and cry.

Sometimes, I want to run away, just leave this crazy house and life and run far far away, and then come back when it’s all over. Maybe Mummy and Daddy will make up if they see I’m missing. Maybe they’ll remember that I exist and they are making my life miserable because of their fights. I’m suffering because of them God.

Last week, Mrs Adebayo said she wanted to see my parents. I think she wants to talk to them about my midterm scores. She called me to ask if anything was wrong,but I couldn’t tell her my parents are always fighting. I also couldn’t tell either Mummy or Daddy about what she said. Daddy is hardly ever around, and Mummy is always in a bad mood. I feel invisible.

I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m telling you all this, You already know. Well, I’m tired of praying. I feel you don’t hear me anymore and I really just want to let it all out before I explode. I’m sorry if I did anything to deserve this. I really am, but please give my family happiness again. Make us laugh together again. I know you can do all things, it would make me the happiest girl in the world just to know that everything is alright.
Please.

Thank you for always listening.
Your daughter,
Ireoluwa.