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Grace Amah: There are No Rules saying I Must Marry Before Having a Child

BellaNaija.com

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Grace Amah - August 2014 - BellaNaija.com 01
For Grace Amah, it is different strokes for different folks.

A few years ago, it was announced that the Nollywood actress welcomed a baby boy. She kept the identity of her son’s father a mystery and that made the media zoom in on her personal life.

In an interview with Encomium Weekly, she talks about her son, being away from the movie scene and why she is unperturbed by the critics who find it unideal that she has a child without a ring on her finger.

Read excerpts;
On endorsing Jimi Agbaje as the next governor of Lagos state: (She is part of 4NL – For New Lagos) “We are not politicians. We came together for change.  We need new things in Lagos, education, politics, general things. It is for a new Nigeria, we only started in Lagos. This is where we earn our living at the time we will reach other places. For Jimi Agbaje? Yes, we are endorsing him.”

On being away from the movie scene: “I have been abroad. I travelled out to have my baby. I came back a long time ago and when I came back, I had to give my son enough time. It’s not all about having a baby, it’s about giving that baby your time to grow, bring him up in a good way.”

Grace Amah - August 2014 - BellaNaija.com 02
On the controversy that she didn’t get married before having a child: “It is nobody’s business. It’s my life.”

On if having a child out of wedlock is a mistake: “I don’t know what you call a mistake. Who says I must be married before having a baby? Why is it an issue? And there is no compulsion for me to come to the world and announce who the father of my child is. It is about my life.”

On when she will tie the knot: “When the time comes, I will surely get married.”

On her concerned fans: “Yes, I agree but it shouldn’t be something I am mandated to do.”

On possible suitors: “There are many. I am a beautiful girl. The father of my son is the most qualified enough.”

To read the rest of the interview, pick up the new issue of Encomium Weekly.

54 Comments

  1. bruno

    August 12, 2014 at 11:19 am

    This woman is very reckless, what is the last name of your son?

    • Jo!

      August 12, 2014 at 11:47 am

      There’s something, nay, many things wrong with you

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      August 12, 2014 at 4:37 pm

      Thou slayeth me, Jo. Thou slayeth me indeed with mirth.

    • Ewa

      August 12, 2014 at 11:48 am

      How is that your business?

    • C'est moi

      August 12, 2014 at 12:15 pm

      You are aware that in some cultures the children bear their mother’s surname, some don’t even have a surname. But even that aside, some people know their fathers but still bear their mother’s surname. Of what relevance is that question?

    • c'est moi

      August 12, 2014 at 6:29 pm

      omg!!! you stole my bella naija identity!!! please find another. this is taken

    • Anon

      August 12, 2014 at 1:19 pm

      Ignoramus.

    • bruno

      August 12, 2014 at 2:04 pm

      99 percent of nigerians are used to hearing lies, that’s why when the truth is spoken u people get upset and angry, are u telling me we should encourage “baby mama” in nigeria, in america, how many black american women are living or even know the father of their kids, it is bad, that’s why the kids grow up and end up in gangs and land in prison, all this unnecessary drama, like child support, custody etc will soon start happening in nigeria and it destroys a lot of people, pls having kids is not a joking matter. That’s why I support abortion.

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      August 12, 2014 at 5:08 pm

      I gleaned from a comment you made elsewhere that you are, in fact, of the male sex but I truly hope that doesn’t explain your obtuseness.

      a). There are certain traditions in Nigeria which encourage their daughters to not wed but have children which are then raised as part of the child’s maternal family. So, in essence, we don’t need to “encourage” baby mamas in Nigeria as the culture you’re keen on protecting has sanctioned it for centuries. Learn the history of some of the ethnicities around you.

      b) In Nigeria, many albeit married women are in fact running single parent homes as Nigerian men continue to exploit the guise of “my culture permits me to marry as many wives as possible” to wed multiple wives and birth more children than they can care for. Leading the women to raise these children alone with no support from the man who is father/husband in name only. This is something else that has been happening for decades and many of those children manage to stay away from gangs, growing into responsible adults. Maybe it’s due to the strength of the African woman or the familial/comunal support available in our society. However, you will sound a lot wiser if you didn’t generalize, being that Barak Obama (as one example) is a noteworthy American that came from a single parent home.

      c.). Are you, the so-called enlightened thinker who has posited so loudly on the backwardness of Nigerians, actually standing up to oppose the enforcement of child support against absentee/deadbeat dads and clamouring that we shouldn’t move for its introduction in Nigeria? That’s interesting to hear that you’re not as liberal as you imagine and just might be occupying the same spot of ignorance you’ve often accused others of.

      Apply more reason with your arguments next time to give it the direction it needs.

    • teeto

      August 12, 2014 at 5:37 pm

      Although am not in full support of what she said but the reason why these kids turn out the way they do is cos their moms dnt know any better, or they are not educated to the degree of thinking correctly or the environment in which dis kids find themselves is not palatable.
      I know single moms who have kids that turned out well.
      Besides i believe she is smart enough to train her son in the right way but thats none of my business.

    • Anon

      August 13, 2014 at 3:50 am

      U r very silly. U tell us d last name since we don’t know it. Am sick n tired of all u goats judging single mothers.

    • amara

      August 13, 2014 at 4:22 pm

      Why is her life your concern ?

  2. RIFF RAFF

    August 12, 2014 at 11:25 am

    Ok

  3. dolly

    August 12, 2014 at 11:38 am

    What examples is she showing to the younger generations?That its ok to have kids without a proper family ?

    • i scream

      August 12, 2014 at 12:07 pm

      Dolly is a virgin… e i e i o…smh!!!!!!

    • MC

      August 12, 2014 at 12:12 pm

      Maybe she is just living her life rather than trying to be an example.
      wild guess, but maybe.

      Nigerians and their “what will people think/say” mentality.

    • Funmi

      August 12, 2014 at 3:03 pm

      Don’t mind them….they are still living in the 20’s

    • Anon

      August 13, 2014 at 3:56 am

      Pls keep quiet. Is it her fault she isn’t married?.

  4. pearl

    August 12, 2014 at 11:39 am

    Wish her all the best

  5. chee

    August 12, 2014 at 11:51 am

    Pls go siddon for dustbin….who cares mtcheeeew!

  6. Do good..!!

    August 12, 2014 at 11:56 am

    I love your reply gurl…….religion and culture is seriously affecting our freedom to be happy and live the life we want..!!

    • CeeCee

      August 12, 2014 at 6:31 pm

      Poor you.

  7. NuevaNigeriana

    August 12, 2014 at 12:00 pm

    Such hypocrisy. When has having children in wedlock ever been proven a promise of a better life. Most of us are examples- abusive, irresponsible fathers, most of our mothers were breadwinners and continue to be. I believe in having a child out of choice! Let’s cut our pseudo religious, cultural crap!

  8. omalichaspeaks.blogspot.com

    August 12, 2014 at 12:15 pm

    She’s right, it’s nobody’s business. Motherhood is an awesome privilege.
    The Beauty Of Parenthood- click my name to read more.

  9. patience

    August 12, 2014 at 12:46 pm

    Its her life, stop been a judge to other people life and think about urs okky

  10. Muse

    August 12, 2014 at 12:47 pm

    GOSH! Look at them here again, HOW IS IT YOUR BUSINESS?

  11. sum1special

    August 12, 2014 at 1:09 pm

    Her life , her business.

  12. Ada Ada

    August 12, 2014 at 1:26 pm

    Mbok, being a single mother is way better than being with a man that devalues you just because you want to give your child a name. Grace Amah you rock! Onye wee iwe o kua isi na aja.

  13. Blue

    August 12, 2014 at 1:41 pm

    So she’s worse than all ye abortionists? right? People should just shut the F up and live their lives!

    • bruno

      August 12, 2014 at 1:59 pm

      Abortion is a wonderful choice for people who are not ready to be a parent, what is wrong in abortion. I support abortion,feminists support abortion.

    • Uche

      August 12, 2014 at 4:20 pm

      Really Bruno!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Tiki

      August 12, 2014 at 7:26 pm

      Please don’t bring feminists into this. I’m a feminist and I am not pro-abortion, I am pro-choice. There is a difference.

      It is people like you who scream allegiance to your warped-understanding-of-a-movement without knowing what the latter is about, then proceed to spew foolishness in the name of ‘support”.

  14. nene

    August 12, 2014 at 2:32 pm

    i don’t expect much from people in the entertainment industry, so i’m not shocked. however, as long as she can take care of her child.

  15. great

    August 12, 2014 at 2:53 pm

    A child is a blessing which many people long for.
    We cant talk about abortion when the baby has been born ( a few years ago in this case). A mother and her Lovely child are being criticised for no just reason. This is why many women remain in abusive relationships , some even die from it. Dear Grace Amah kudos to you for all the hard work u do as a mum. God bless you and your handsome son xx

  16. Hurperyeahmie

    August 12, 2014 at 2:54 pm

    rubbish

  17. OGINII!!

    August 12, 2014 at 3:01 pm

    @ the nay sayers, wait until you turn 36 not yet married, creeping on 40, eggs drying up. You have no right to judge her and this has nothing to do with morals. @ dolly let’s wait till you turn 35 then let’s hear what you have to say then, I sure talked like this many years back when I thought I’d be married b4 I turn 30. Well!! I’m 35 and I have a two year old son by my man and we are tying the knot come nov 4. We should always understand that it can’t all happen same way for everyone, not everyone will meet a nice guy and get hitched, not everyone will get proposed to, not everyone will get married, not everyone gets married to their soulmate, and people marry for different reasons, lifes like that. So leave her be, she might not have gotten what she wants but she’s happy with where she’s @.

  18. CK

    August 12, 2014 at 3:47 pm

    Let’s come back to reality. you know there are more women than men in this world right? So apart from men marrying more than one wife or going through more than one marraige/ divorce in their life, it is clear a lot of women will never settle down – not out of their own faults but due to the maths.
    the question is, should these women not be free to have children when they have reached mid 30s for fear that soon they will no longer be able too or for fear that their bodies may not be strong enough even if they are still capable of having babies in their early 40s?

  19. Cici

    August 12, 2014 at 4:01 pm

    Yes, there is a rule my dear sister that says you must marry before you have a child. That is, first the rule/law of God and nature. The is no culture in the world except in the animal kingdom where having a baby out of wedlock is acceptable. This not to say the baby should be rejected, but a bastard is a bastard, let us not flower it up, and make it look good. Fornicatio outside the marriage bed is immoral and unhealthy, do NOT glamourize it.

    • Tiki

      August 12, 2014 at 7:29 pm

      A bastard?

      A BASTARD?

      When you will be rejected at the gates of Heaven, you will claim not to know why. Read the whole Bible please, not just the part that favours you.

    • Mckay

      August 12, 2014 at 10:42 pm

      May God with all His angels teach you lesson that will make you never ever call a child a barstad!!!
      I can’t believe God created you female!!!

    • Mckay

      August 12, 2014 at 10:44 pm

      *Bastard
      **a lesson
      Typing in anger!!!

    • tola

      August 13, 2014 at 12:34 am

      buh u v sex before marriage on the regular , let me tell you there is no difference between those who have an abortion, who have sex before marriage and those who give birth before marriage , why because its all a sin . but you have no right to judge anyone , are you God . Just because someone sins differently from you gives you no damn right to judge them . P.S am not grace amah !

    • Anon

      August 13, 2014 at 4:04 am

      Who gives u d right to label one a bastard Biko? Go face your life pls

  20. Ayo

    August 12, 2014 at 4:13 pm

    Grace Ama’s baby daddy is living in IB and he’s a automobile dealer. You guys might not know we know and case closed.

  21. Ginika

    August 12, 2014 at 5:34 pm

    Ikechukwu kills is the father *sideeye*.. #RunningAway!!!
    Okay, just joking!

  22. ibilola

    August 12, 2014 at 6:14 pm

    well, for those of you who cares to know, Grace Amah is more decent than you all, real and jus said the truth. It’s her life . I’m proud of you SIS

  23. Jass

    August 12, 2014 at 6:54 pm

    @Cici who died and made u God? Live your perfect life and let other people live theirs the way they want to. Not everyone shares yo religious or cultural beliefs…let ppl be…U speak like u r perfect in the eyes of God
    …dont call other ppl’s kids bastards…we r not living in 1882 here…respect other ppls choices

  24. Meg

    August 13, 2014 at 7:19 am

    No matter how much we don’t want to hear it, our lives are supposed to be a testament of who we are, and the aptly named what will people think” mentality is not solely Nigerian. We’re so fast to accredit our country with things that are general all over the world.
    That being said, having a baby is a huge responsibility and I’ve learned not to judge single mothers. Its not ideal, but most of them have no choice. The ones that do…well, more grease to their elbows.

  25. dotty

    August 13, 2014 at 9:55 am

    abortion abi ! ok naaa by the time your sister abort all the eggs in her wmb and gets married to a poor innocent guy; you will now blame it on evil forces! ndi muo……..i pray with her empty womb she doesnt jam any innocent guy!

    not saying having kids out of wedlock is fantastic but hey! its better than strangling an innocent thing biko….plus #thatsnoneofmybuisness#

  26. yours truly

    August 13, 2014 at 11:12 pm

    Here we go again, the same idiotic comments I read on several blogs. “This is wrong……… that is wrong” etc. Going by what we all learnt growing up, If memory serves me right, sex before marriage is both a religious and cultural NO NO. So, why on earth are you all making sanctimonious comments? Leave her be for crying out loud and cut out all the [email protected]#£ about why and how it is wrong for her to have a child before wedlock.
    She’s happy, and that should be enough. If none of you aren’t still virgins by the time you get married, then I suggest you all keep your gobs shut. You lots are the same people that are trying desperately to emulate how Americans and Brits live their lives, yet you are all so vain and would rather hide behind a certain “doctrine” than be honest.
    And please, do not try to justify whether abortion is ideal or not. Here in UK, abortion can only be considered with a parental consent (underage cases) and as an adult, only except for certain medical conditions which means that pregnancies may pose harm to a woman,
    Enough already!

  27. tuulz

    August 14, 2014 at 3:56 pm

    cute baby Grace

  28. eca

    November 17, 2014 at 6:40 am

    May dear for sure it’s not my business to interfere in ur matters. U are a very beautiful girl for sure but my dear I feel its only right to do the right thing at the right time, I know u won’t marry yourself or force the guy to marry u but With prayers u don’t have a limit. Chess

  29. Obafemi

    July 29, 2015 at 9:15 pm

    Hmmmmmmmmmm, how I wish this comment is earlier enough though I couldn’t get this news on time… Grace Amar and every other listeners and to whom it may be a concern to I would have been quite but I never know to whom God has permitted me to still come across this post…it’s so funny to read all the post because even in every posts, there is light of sense. Though experience has spoken and intelligence has spoken but I would respect experience more. In all sincerity I don’t support as far as I know a lady to misbehave, I stand to be corrected life is about phases and the fact that you don’t pass through a phase does not make you a judge in the case… Permit me to say at this point that having a child doesn’t really appears to me as a choice but as responsibility… Though it can be very hard to believe for many but it’s correct. Either you declare yourself responsible deliberately or you somehow just declare your self to be. Why is it that many are so eager to know the father of the young man with all due respect it’s not totally correct. Even though it appears as a concern but it’s not only to check on what you consider as ‘her shame’. She never told anyone she didn’t know the father, why do you accuse her as you have if you love her? It only shows you pretended to maybe because of your lustful heart… Anyway the ends justifies the means. Yes, I might have sounded harsh or hard on any or sounded I don’t mean to but my mind crys for true and real love among us. God bless.

  30. Obafemi

    July 29, 2015 at 9:45 pm

    Hmmmmmmmmmm, how I wish this comment is earlier enough, though I couldn’t get this news on time… Grace Amar and every other listeners and to whom it may be a concern to, I would have been quiet but I never know to whom God has permitted me to still come across this post…it’s so funny to read all the post because even in every posts, there is light of sense. Though, experience has spoken and intelligence has spoken, but I would respect experience more. In all sincerity, I don’t support as far as I know, a lady to misbehave, I stand to be corrected, life is about phases and the fact that you don’t pass through a phase does not make you a judge in the phase… Permit me to say at this point that having a child doesn’t really appears to me as a choice but as responsibility… Though it can be very hard to believe for many but it’s correct. Either you declare yourself responsible deliberately or you somehow just declare yourself to be. Why is it that many are so eager to know the father of the young man with all due respect it’s not totally correct. Even though it appears as a concern, but, it’s not, it’s only to check on what you consider as ‘her shame’. She never told anyone she didn’t know the father, why do you accuse her as you have if you love her? It only shows you pretended be concerned to maybe because of your lustful heart… Anyway the ends justifies the means. Yes, I might have sounded harsh or hard on any, I don’t mean to but my mind cries for true and real love among us. God bless.

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