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Geraldine Ogwe: A Second Chance For a Second Wife

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I invited my friend Nnamdi to a cocktail bar and he brought his best friend along. This best friend turned out to be Joe. I ordered Pina Colada, Nnamdi ordered Sex on the Beach, and Joe went for Bloody Mary. Joe told us that he was considering marriage with a lady but there was a snag.

This lady, let’s call her Meg, was once married. This is her story. Meg is thirty-two years old. When she was twenty-eight, she met a lawyer who asked her hand in marriage. Mr Lawyer was very kind and caring to her. He was comfortable and had a nice apartment. He had a good job too. He was a dedicated worker in the church, serving in the Protocol Unit, and as such was very close to the pastors. He was a member of the soon to be extinct group who believed in No Sex Till After Marriage. However, he used to kiss and cuddle her. Meg liked him. The pastors encouraged Meg to accept Lawyer’s proposal. Six months after they started going out, Mr Lawyer wedded Meg in church. It was well attended.

Meg was blessed of the Lord. She conceived immediately after the wedding. Then, the sad truth dawned on her.
Mr Lawyer travelled frequently from Abuja to Lagos for legal cases, according to him. During one of such trips, her phone rang.
Caller (a woman): Are you not tired of keeping another woman’s husband with you? Are you so shameless that you would intentionally keep the father of four children in your house?
Meg: This is a wrong number. I live with my husband and not my boyfriend or another woman’s husband. I am also pregnant for my husband, so sorry I have to hang up….
Caller: Meg, I know you.

The Caller, Uche, went on to reveal things she knew about Meg. Meg was eight months pregnant at the time of that call. Uche came from Lagos to visit her in Abuja. She came with all the necessary documents and photographs to prove to Meg that Barrister Esosa was not only Meg’s husband but her husband too. He was their husband who wedded both of them in two different churches. Uche told Meg that she found out about her when she mistakenly read a text message she sent to Esosa. She decided to gather more evidences before confronting Meg.

Meg knew that her marriage was a sham and built on a foundation of well orchestrated deceit. Two months after the revelation, she was delivered of a bouncing baby boy.

Meg reported the revelation to their pastors. Esosa was invited to explain this wickedness from the pit of hell. He honored the invitation and claimed it was never his intention to hurt or deceive Meg into marriage. He came to Abuja for a protracted legal case that would require eight months to wrap up. He met Meg the chorister whose ministration made him fall in love at first sight. He decided to join a unit in church to be closer to her. He kept observing her and studying her. The more he knew about her, the deeper he fell in love with her. He claimed to have asked her indirectly and she said she would never date a married man. He decided to marry her because he wanted to have her by all means. She was a person too good to be true and too true to let go. He even had to murder his parents with his mouth just to be with her. He paid people to front as his brothers and cousins. The people he introduced to her as friends were his friends whom he met in Abuja that didn’t actually know him very well. Her jovial and unassuming disposition became her undoing. She became a second wife not by choice but by unfortunate circumstances.
Meg’s father encouraged her to leave the marriage. She came back home with her son. She successfully divorced Esosa and was granted sole custody of their child.

When she told Joe this story, he asked her how she never knew about Esosa’s first marriage.
Signs she noticed but didn’t consider:

1) Esosa never took her to his hometown. He told her that his kinsmen were fetish and anti-progressive. If you visited rich, you left poor, if you were alive. She never pressed further because he gave her countless stories to buttress his hatred for his hometown.
2) Mr Lawyer said he was an orphan. The kinsmen killed his parents. She also failed to demand photographs or traces of history between him and the parents. He introduced her to three brothers and a few maternal cousins. The said brothers were living abroad.
3) Due to the horrible practices of his kinsmen, he didn’t relate well with his uncles and aunts who killed his parents and whom he was fighting legally to recover his father’s property from.
4) He never took calls at home. As soon as he came home, his phones were switched off.
5) Whenever he travelled to Lagos, he called not later than 8pm. She would expect him to leave his phone on so she could reach him at anytime but that was not the practice. He would claim to be tired of all deliberations of the day and needed to sleep. If she called in the day and he didn’t pick up, he would claim he was in a meeting.
6) His brothers and cousins never visited but he encouraged her to allow her own family members visit as often as they wanted. His friends visited very much though.

Joe knows that Meg is a good person. He likes her. He wants to marry her but on the condition that she sends the child to the man. I encouraged him to accept the innocent child who didn’t pray to be born in all these. He said he didn’t want to accept another man’s child and responsibility. I told him to see the child as the child of the woman he loved.
A lot of ladies date and marry married men, but they are usually aware of the marital status of the men. Why would Esosa go that far to deceive a lady into marriage? A girl who would never date a married man became an unfortunate second wife. Some men also would never marry a lady who have had a child from a previous relationship, no matter the circumstance that led to the birth of the child. I think this is not fair in all situations. A child would always call ‘father’, the man who showed him true love, irrespective of who contributed the Y chromosome.

Meg has a permanent reminder of that unfortunate marriage. As such, she will forever be a story teller until God gives her rest and a man who truly deserves and loves her and her child.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Juice Images

39 Comments

  1. slice

    October 22, 2014 at 2:24 pm

    The guy saying she shd send her child back is nt a second chance, he is a waste of time and a guy with no mercy. How can u seek to separate a mother frm her child. He is not well

    • Neharra

      October 22, 2014 at 2:56 pm

      Slice you said it all. Joe is about to be a waste of her time too. It’s one thing not to want to raise another mans child, but to suggest that she sends the child to his father speaks a lot to his character. I hope she can see the negative signs that Joe is already displaying before she becomes a victim again.

    • Colour Purple

      October 22, 2014 at 7:23 pm

      I know someone whose mother found out her father had two wives after they had gotten married and she was heavily pregnant with her. Some men can kill o!

  2. No Wonder

    October 22, 2014 at 2:29 pm

    We discussed this issue last time nah, Bella. Shuo! We no go over flog am. Anyway to the story for ground, na to move on ni If the man no accept the child. Will you leave your child for another woman to train? Abi is this man the only man in Nigeria or the world? If you cannot accept what came out of my loins due to a mistake, how can I be sure that you will accept me, warts and all? Follow your mind sha! Your intuition will NEVER EVER lead you wrong.

  3. iwalewa

    October 22, 2014 at 2:41 pm

    obviously,he is not well. why would he tell the lady to return her child to the father who deceived her. “abeg,he should park well’. He does not love Meg . Meg should not rush into another marriage. she should take her time and concentrate on her child first.

  4. f.n nwapa

    October 22, 2014 at 2:41 pm

    First of all, the second would be suitor can go** do himself in the arse.
    women don’t watch out for the signs.
    that is a flaming signal that my child will not be accepted., she will think he will change and turn a blind eye to save her marriage when her child becomes the household servant
    then I don’t know why people who claim to be christian fear ‘fetish’ ( a far over used word in nigeria) people.

    simply boils down to knowing the people we choose as spouses

  5. omawunmi

    October 22, 2014 at 2:43 pm

    nigerians and pastors…

  6. TA

    October 22, 2014 at 2:53 pm

    You think you have seen some and heard it all and then you hear some more… If I were the lady, I would not marry your friend Joe,it is as simple as that. His condition for marrying her is …well,not an option. He should marry her if he truly loves her not as if he were ‘managing’ her or doing her a favour. I don’t know but he is making it look like she is damaged goods. If he can’t bear to be with a woman who already has a child. Fine, go and look for a single woman who has never borne one. But to ask this woman to part with her baby because you want to marry her. If na me sha,I know what I will say to him.
    Thanks Geraldine,nice article. This story gave me the chills. Some people are plain evil as in,there is no ‘some good in them’. That barrister is an all round rotten egg! Chai! I just dey vex.

  7. Raindrops

    October 22, 2014 at 2:53 pm

    hmmm, I don’t think so! Joe needs to get going, he is not serious. If he truly loves her he wouldn’t make such a selfish demand. I can only assume what other issues he would throw up once they are married. Don’t worry Meg, there are better men out there, you will do just fine.

  8. Idealist

    October 22, 2014 at 3:03 pm

    Rather unfortunate!! I always say that all humans have an innate sense to discern right and wrong. Call it animal instincts if you will, but we all have it especially women. So i dont like to hear that “she didnt know” the signs are always there, but we always choose to ignore it. Please always listen to the voice within, it will take you far. I wish her all the best nonetheless.

  9. Fashionista

    October 22, 2014 at 3:07 pm

    Kai! see one chance oh. Mr Lawyer, when terrible things are happening to you now, you’ll be calling God; you are a very WICKED man! As for Joe, what kind of nonsense condition is that??!!!! How can she send her child to live with a man it turns out she barely even knew. A child who as the writer rightly stated, did not ask to be born into this situation? I understand not wanting to raise another mans child but then maybe Meg is NOT the one for you, keep looking ehn. Meg will find another man who will appreciate her as well as accept her child, for someone as sweet and as decent as she sounds, she just has to believe it will happen. In the meantime, keep busy and try to heal and take care of your child as best as you can. I can imagine that useless Esosa wont be paying any alimony or child support.

  10. Regenerated

    October 22, 2014 at 3:09 pm

    May God deliver us from evil situation that warrants story telling. Dear,people scarcely understand.

  11. Becca

    October 22, 2014 at 3:18 pm

    I don’t even have kids but I would never ever date a man that even hints that he couldn’t accept another man’s kid as his own. Speaks volumes

  12. Babygirl

    October 22, 2014 at 3:36 pm

    Some men are just immature and irresponsible….in my almost 10 year of marriage I have caught my husband in about 4 affairs….to each he lied we were about to get a divorce just cos we live apart long distance…..that’s y I can never advice a long distance courtship cos u never truly know each other’s character…..you lie to these women yet you string your wife along that she is your all in all….took me a while to find out Cos we both use to visit back and forth…..anyway he says he has filed for a divorce and am waiting for the papers to get my freedom……..can’t live the rest of my life with a lying cheating dog…….some men are so good at lying it’s difficult to catch them, but just be very cautious…….

    • Emma

      October 22, 2014 at 6:29 pm

      Sorry madam. God be with you in this trying time.

    • Amdi

      October 23, 2014 at 7:24 am

      Sorry Ma’am…your case is a harsh one but here it’s about Meg, her man and Joe. The best way to handle a negative situation is by not dwelling too much on it. It gets so bad when it starts beclouding ur every thoughts, statements and live. A little reflection and bn positive as hard as it can be will definitely help ur self confidence. No one likes a liar. You will overcome if you try.

    • Owelle

      October 24, 2014 at 5:25 pm

      E-hugs girl. Divorce is difficult for anyone to go through. I hope u come out stronger and better

  13. Girlie O

    October 22, 2014 at 3:47 pm

    Wow!!!! Poor Meg. The Joe guy doesnt sound like good news at all tho asking the mother to return the child. How now? Did she not give birth to the child? Abi she buy am for market??? smh. Meg should just turn to God fully n leave these men n their wahala. Maybe focus more on building a career for herself so she can take care of herself and her child.

  14. Aunty Betty

    October 22, 2014 at 3:51 pm

    What kind of man says that, how could you tell a mother to path with a child she carried in her womb for NINE MONTHS! Well he is nothing but a time waster just forget about him

  15. Aunty Betty

    October 22, 2014 at 3:55 pm

    Well I have a child and I have a caring and loving fiance that care and love my child just as his, planning on adopting him later in the future, of course with the child’s consent though……let meg leave this Joe jo Bette man go come

  16. Vivadrew

    October 22, 2014 at 4:04 pm

    These are kind things/stories that keeps giving a quarter-to-marry lady like me shivers. Ehh…Lord, I ask for your divine wisdom and grace to hold it right till death do us part. Open my inner eyes to see clearly and discern rightly always, Amen

  17. @edDREAMZ

    October 22, 2014 at 4:10 pm

    a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said…
    .
    People like Esosa should be killed frm birth i swear…. I pray joe really reconsiders and love her with her kid bcos me too i cant marry a woman with kid and only God can change joe’s heart no one else….
    .
    .
    ***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

  18. Idomagirl

    October 22, 2014 at 4:29 pm

    Biko tell Meg to dump that Joe like a sack of hot potatoes! Wicked man, she should send the child to live with another woman and her four kids? For what? I hope Meg has the good sense to leave him alone.

  19. G

    October 22, 2014 at 4:29 pm

    Story Story, Meg I pray you healed from this betrayal… I see some red flags which might help you in future decisions. Being Naive or gullible isn’t a bad thing.. it’s got it’s benefit but you can rise up from it all. Here are the red flags I noticed…
    1. “as such was very close to the pastors.”
    “The pastors encouraged Meg to accept Lawyer’s proposal.”
    I do not know Meg state of mind at that moment. But this lawyer was smart and knew how to position himself. Taking the word from authority you also need self confirmation. This is by your intuition. Mr lawyer was already rubbing hands with the right places you are passionate.

    2.Don’t pose as the victim, you will attract fleas.. Look at it as a blessing that the first wife revealed to you all and you got out save and sound. Don’t feed on the notion of being a good girl and this journey wasn’t my fault but the fault of my ex husband. We all learn everyday and also make mistakes….. No one should hang you when God has forgiven you.
    Mr Joe isn’t worth you and he makes as if he is doing you a favor by being your savoir with conditions.

    I hope “Meg” can come across this article.. Know your self worth, your child is big big blessing, always praise your son and bless your child..
    When some1 loves you, that child will not be a hindrance.. The person will also love your child like it was their own. this is because they love you.
    I have been there and I cared and still love my ex kid . I always pray for the kid..

  20. Leo

    October 22, 2014 at 4:30 pm

    If joe truly love meg, he will her and her son.
    he will never ask her 2 send the child to his father, he does love her.

  21. Teri

    October 22, 2014 at 5:30 pm

    Men…….love me,love my dog simple

  22. thatafricanchic

    October 22, 2014 at 5:46 pm

    How can they get a divorce if they were already married? The writer says the first wife was able to prove her marriage so it means the second marriage was null in the eyes of the law so no need for divorce.
    Just a little inconsistency in the story…

  23. Angel

    October 22, 2014 at 6:16 pm

    Hmmmm to think that men like joe do still exist in Nigeria 2014, infact there are many of them with such mentality, thinking they are some special gift to women. Walahi Nigeria is backward, and don’t get me started on all the educated illiterates out there, the only thing they seem good at is correcting wrong english grammar. IMBECILES! (Excuse my French)

  24. Lawlah

    October 22, 2014 at 8:59 pm

    Esosa, the law!…. I wish this wasn’t a fictional name…. I wish I knew him. People like this bring the noble Legal Profession into disrepute. If you escape the long arm of the law, the punishment of God will not elude you and other deceptive and pretentious men of your ilk!

    It’s unfortunate that the deed Is done. However, I suggest Meg should get over Joe, ASAP … He is bad news. I wish Meg would be emotionally strong enough,’ to pursue a law suit at this time of her life….

    Since the marriage was celebrated in Abuja (where Bigamy is still a crime), Meg should get a lawyer who can help her explore the entire gamut of the provisions of the Nigerian Law on Bigamy. It would make a worthy read, to find out that one of the contemporary precedents that would emerge in this area of law will be one incriminating a lawyer, who ought to know the law. (This area of Law needs to be revived. No conviction has been gotten on Bigamy in over 40years, because people just don’t sue the erring parties, due to the “peculiarities” of the Nigerian Society).

    Then, we shall see if those “dead” family members of his, and those “living abroad” will not sympathise with him, while he is a permanent guest at any of the Nigerian Prisons, for a brief period of 7years. That period will also give Meg enough time to recuperate from the shock, relocate (if necessary) and get her life back on track.

    Some men just want angels to become monsters…. They enjoy watching the transformation. Otherwise, how does one explain this situation. May God comfort you, Meg and bless you with the right man, who would truly adore you.

    • vikky

      October 23, 2014 at 1:08 am

      May that prayer about God dealing with men of such character come to.pass IJN.
      This week I just realized that the man I broke up with 2 years ago because he disvirgined me through rape after 4 months of dating was indeed a married man. I had no clue. So here I am dealing with a pain and hurt I thought I was over it because it is even worst now to know it is a married man who.did this to.me. I have been wondering why this happened to.me. me with a married man? @toma..yes,it does happen. I would have been like you if I hadn’t found out just this week that the worst pain I hv experienced in.my life so far was by a man I was beginning to fall for n who was married…I don’t know if I’ll get over this one or what to do..I am lost..all over again

  25. TANTRA

    October 22, 2014 at 9:51 pm

    A lot of guys,even those who read this article,find it difficult to accept a woman who already has a child. I asked some guys and they told me it would lead to too many explanations to friends and family. The lesser the baggage,the better. Some others said the children may become rude and unruly,the “dont -tell- me -what- to -do-U -r -not -my -daddy” type. The other reality too is that some women will nõt accept another woman’s child like their own.

  26. www.africanstorytellers.blogspot.com

    October 22, 2014 at 10:53 pm

    after all is said and done, it is what it is. Men and women will forever have divergent views about situations as emotional as this. Thankfully, like a few of the writers above have said, the dude is not the only guy on earth. Let no one blame a man who doesn’t want to be responsible for another man’s child.
    It is painful to have to be competing for your wife’s love with your stepchild.

    africanstorytellers.blogspot.com has spoken. Q.E.D

  27. Toma

    October 22, 2014 at 10:53 pm

    I understand this is fiction but Pls do things like this really happen? As in for real? So many red flags, surely no one can be this gullible…

    • Geraldine Ogwe

      October 23, 2014 at 5:54 am

      It is not fiction. It is a true life story only that names have been changed. Bizarre things happen. We keeping praying not to fall victims. The lady was not as gullible as you think. Esosa was just too good with his acts. Oscar award winning liar.

    • Geraldine Ogwe

      October 23, 2014 at 9:02 am

      *keep

  28. Jalord

    October 22, 2014 at 11:39 pm

    Part of the article below;

    ”Some men also would never marry a lady who have had a child from a previous relationship, no matter the circumstance that led to the birth of the child. I think this is not fair in all situations. A child would always call ‘father’, the man who showed him true love, irrespective of who contributed the Y chromosome”

    I don’t know why most of you want to turn this into a male bashing thing.

    From my observations, Most people commenting on this site are women/ladies and majority of them are Biased. One way traffic thinking!

    Just the way most women can’t deal with baby mama issues, same goes to men. I think the lady in question have an option.

    Although I don’t have kids yet nor married but if by example one should be in such situation, I won’t be offend but rather move on with my life and wait for another woman who would treat my kids like hers.

    Joe shouldn’t marry Meg or even accept the child out of sympathy but true Love.

    Another reason why most guys don’t like to co-habitat with a lady with children from previous marriage(s);

    The children in most cases will be the top priority to the woman and this goes both ways as most women don’t want to come second in the family in cases were the husband has kids from previous marriage that lives with them. We experience this today in our society.

    The bottom line is, this shouldn’t be a gender issue like most people are suggesting through comments. Because most of you won’t marry or move in with a man with kids as well. So Meg should move on since she doesn’t fancy the condition.

    P.S This shouldn’t be an excuses for girls to go around having babies (especially those outside a union) hoping for a partner or husband to just accept them that way, Like we are experiencing today in our society.

  29. Just me

    October 23, 2014 at 1:56 am

    She seems like a very innocent person, she shouldn’t settle for Joe. It’s unfortunate she had to go through Mr. Lawyer, it’s an experience she will cherish and hopefully have learned from it. Please train your son and soon someone deserving of you will come

  30. sweety

    October 23, 2014 at 3:14 pm

    if not dt ds happened 2 my sister’s frnd’s mum,i wud nva bliv ds story. hmmm,men dey oooo

  31. Joan85

    October 23, 2014 at 6:22 pm

    This one is small na.
    I know a woman who, after 15 years of marriage and 3 kids, found out that her husband had 3 other kids from another woman. Guess what? The other woman’s first child is the same age as the main wife’s first child. Umu nwoke n’eme alu! SMH

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